Breast Cancer Phobia

[adnama25]

I have suffered from this phobia for 27 years now - it started when my first child was born and triggered by a sebaceous cyst on my breastbone - from that point onwards the fear overwhelmed me - two stays in hospital in that time and CBT therapy - everything. I go for months without the obsession but this is because I avoid any contact with my breasts and believe me after 27 years I am a master at this!! When there are news reports about breast cancer it starts the worry again and I get my partner to check me and then the fear subsides. I have a yearly breast screening and that helps but now I'm 51 I feel I am very much in the firing line and also worry about what I'll do if anything happens to my partner and no one can help me check. The physical symptoms of fear are horrible if I go near my breasts and I always imagine that I feels something even if I just accidentally touch myself in that area so sometimes a mammogram is difficult because they can want you to hold back one breast while they x-ray the other and I've also had a bad experience when being fitted for a bra, it's so embarrassing. I have learned to live with this but it really isn't an ideal existance - and I do still feel like a mad neurotic and the only woman in the world with this problem - for years all I have ever said is "I just want to be normal":wacko:

[amandy1979]

hi there,
You are definately not alone, i too have this problem, i hate seeing them, i am constantly checking worrying. It starts from the moment i get up till i go to bed. I can no longer enjoy anything because the thoughts that something is wrong with them are permanently fixed in my head. I dont read newspapers, i try to avoid the news (except my husband watches it any chance he gets), any tv awareness ads make me shake with worry. I wear clothing that goes right up to my neck to avoid seeing them and to make it difficult to continuously check. I have come across many others on this website who also have this phobia. I just keep trying to fight the anxiety and hope that one day ill get the better of it, i overcame panic attacks and havent had one in 6 years so im not giving up the hope of beating this. Ive probably not helped you in anyway, but i do understand how you feel.

[jillyb]

I agree with you both ... it's horrid to have these health anxiety woes. I was beside myself when I was called for my routine mammogram and ended up on diazepam. At the time the company I work for was sponsoring Breast Cancer week and my car (I am a rep) was full of BC things. I was convinced this was a 'sign'. One thing my therapist said to me was that 'thinking' something is just that - a thought. If you think you are going to win the lottery - do you? I try to bear that in mind as I have never won the lottery! There is so much in the press, especially at the moment, but rather than thinking 1 in 8 women will, I try and concentrate on thinking 7 out of 8 won't!!!! Ofcourse it is necessary for the press to report these things but it doesn't help those of us with health anxiety!!!! Take care x

[adnama25]

Thanks so much for replying - I have hated being like this for so many years and it has blighted my life. I do know that my avoidance behaviour isn't the right way of dealing with this but it is my coping mechanism and now I fear the fear of having another breakdown because I have touched myself and thought I've felt something - as for breast awareness and checking absolutely forget it - I can't even look at them but then I worry if I'm not checking and breast aware if there was a serious lump I am going to die because I haven't caught it early enough - and so it goes on - I don't know it does seem crazy !!!:scared15:

[Thumbelina]

Jillyb - the lottery thing is brilliant. It is so true... It is great to think Of it this way. Thanks

[teez]

ladies as someone who is a fully payed up member of the bc club,,yup ive had breast cancer,,like adnama i couldnt check myself,,i kept a bra on at all times so i wouldnt have to check,,i used a sponge to wash with,,i wouldnt touch myself incase i felt a lump,,but someone was watching over me as one day i bent over the bath to wash my hair and i felt a sudden pain shoot through my chest,,i thought it was just one of my normal chest pains ,,so rubbed the area and felt a huge lump it was the size of an egg,,i sat down stairs after rinsing my hair in a daise,,it took 6 weeks for me to go to the doctors,,to have him look into my eyes pity on his face and he didnt hold back he said im worried,,he was worried well i was beside myself,,thoughts filled my every waking moment,,i hated my children going anywhere incase that was the last i saw them,,but i got through,,i went from a lady who had been attacked an hated anyone within feet of me ,,never mind men,,but in the end id bear all,,im proud to say i survived chemo,,my worst nightmare,,radio therapy,,the scar that runs across my breast is huge but feint ,,but cancer although is still very scarey for me no longer holds the terrors it did,,i will say please check yourselves it could mean less evasive surgery if the worst happens,,but if you followed all the story it now means more woman survive now,,and if it does happen you will come through im scared of everything and i mean everything,,and if i got through it you will,,you find an inner strength,,please be brave it will be ok keep yourselves checked ,,take care x