Will this cure me?

[nutteetart]

I am facing every fear head on that i can possible think of. My husband has just had a stroke and i have panic disorder with agoraphobia. In order to deal with this crisis i am having to tackle (fear 1)..A car journey with someone other than my safe husband. (fear 2).. Enter a hospital (fear 3)..Walk the maze of corridors not knowing where the next exit is (fear 4).. Be anywhere near anything illness driven or needles or poorly people as it kicks off health anxieties. (fear 5).. seeing my husband very poorly (Fear 6).. having to cope with dealing with medical people or even well wishers.
I am doing all these things albeit whilst clutching deperately to my sister and whilst i know i should be pleased that I AM DOING these things, it feels so desperately awful that each day is the hardest day of my entire life. I feel disoriented, faint, suffocating feelings, fuzzy head, derealism etc etc

Will this baptism of fire cure me? Does anyone know of any quick tips that may ease my discomfort as i cant even do breathing exercises because my stomach is so rigid. Any help will be gratefully received.

[uk23]

Very sorry to hear about your husband, how horrible for both of you.

There is one idea that comes to mind; muscle relaxation. I am sure you have already though of that but if you check out this post (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=89540) you might find some help.

[midgey]

Hi,
Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear you are having such an awful time.
I'm not sure this will cure you as such, but exposing yourself to things that you wouldn't normally feel comfortable in has the potential to make things better.
My counsellor said to me once that it is important to celebrate achievements, however small. It's important to do this rather than celebrate the fact that you got out alive from somewhere where you feel panicky.
Something like "Yes, that was good" is much better than "Thank God I'm out of there".
The problem is that you have other things on your mind, obviously you will be concentrating on your husband getting better, so this process will not be in the forefront of your mind.
I wish you and your husband well, and hopefully once he is better you may be able to look back and see that this episode may have helped you in some way, all the best,

[PoppyC]

Hi
I am so sorry to hear about your husband.
Even though you are going through a very tough time, which obviously is going to take it out of you, you should be so proud of yourself for doing the things that you are doing. It must be exhausting but you are going ahead and not giving in and that is something you should really be proud of.
I have agarophobia amongst other things and I rely mostly on my partner, and I know if he were taken ill, and in hospital, that I would probably fall apart...or would I? Sometimes we have no choice and when we are in that position then we show how strong we can be. There have been times in the past 2 years when I have had to overcome how I feel, in order to deal with many hospital visits, deaths and funerals, (my elderly parents) and somehow I went into auto pilot mode and just did it all. I felt exhausted afterwards, but the way I looked at it, was that I had no choice and just went with the flow of things.
The experience will make you stronger, and you will realise what you can actually do. I am not sure that it will 'cure' you, but who knows? maybe it will make you realise what you can do.
I think you are doing really well. I hope your husband soon gets better, and that he is back home with you.
Let us know how you get on.
Sending you a lot of :hugs:

[nutteetart]

Thank you all for your support. Somehow i am getting through each day and i should congratulate myself. I will start thinking "well done" rather than "thank god i am out of there!".
Terrified ofthe future at the moment but trying to take bite-sized pieces.
Thank you all again
Fay x

[European]

Hi Fay,

why concentrate and focus solely on all the negatives, as opposed to the fact that you are actually managing, and getting through all kinds of situations that have some high anxiety attached for you? Why not focus on the positive for a change? Why not give yourself the credit for all those fears you are facing, and all those situations you are bravely getting through? Because, despite the anxiety related unpleasantness, you seem to be doing exceedingly well!

Keep on going and try to turn your outlook on to the positives, i.e. everything you are managing and getting yourself through. Be kind to yourself!

I hope your husband will recover well and be better very soon!

All the best! :)

[nutteetart]

OK. I have paid attention and will look for my positives throughout the journey tomorrow. It might be a distraction actually. Better than hiding in the car.
x