Dating and relationships

[jonny582]

Hi,

just wondering how peoples anxiety effects them when it comes to dating and relationships. Do you date still? i am weary of meeting someone as i feel i am not back to my best yet, i get approached by girls but then think would they want to date metc if they new i had anxiety?

Jonny

[scaredycatx]

I feel the same. I am reluctant to date/ enter into a relationship due to being concerned that partner will not understand/run a mile etc

I really like someone at the moment, and pretty sure he likes me too, but he doesn't know about me having anxiety so I'm wary about taking it any further, feel like I want to get back to my old self first.

Annoying and really gets me down because I would love to have a supportive boyfriend, be in love, and have fun, but I just feel that I'm not the girl I was before. I used to have loads of confidence and now I feel like totally not a good catch!

[sammi]

Anxiety ruined my relationship,my boyfriend didn't and couldn't understand my health anxiety I may be been a bit selfish but I've been with him 8 year so expected him to be there for me and be a little supportive but it seems he's only happy when my health anxiety is under control. I guess it makes life easier for him.

[_Emma]

I'm having a lot of difficulty with that at the moment as well. I was dating a guy from 2008-2009, then he left in the summer of 09 to go travelling for a year. When he got back last summer he immediatly got in touch, but I wasn't the same person he left. When he went on his travels I was bubbly, fun, up 4 anything Emma, when he returned I was anxious, agoraphobic Emma! I didn't allow him 2 come over and see me until the end of last year, and when he did he couldn't have been nicer, but over the last month or so I haven't seen him and his texts are getting less and less... tbh I think he thought I'd be "better" by now, and I don't want 2 keep pestering him, so yes, I find it very difficult

xx

[Stezzle]

Been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now. When we first met i was a happy go lucky, up for anything girl. Then my Anxiety took over completely but my boyfriend is very supportive. He wont push me into going out to places i dont want. I am strong willed and i never say no to wanting to go on a date with him. It may take it a extra 30mins to get out the door but i will go.

After the start of treatment however, we go on dates alot more and i am back to being the old me. Its fantastic.

[jonny582]

thats great too hear your back to your old self, i am nearly there but my confidence is still lacking.

Perhaps we underestimate people by thinking they won't understand?
I think we can all get back to the fun people were, its just hard work. A year aog i couldnt leave the house, now i live with friends, go on nights out. So if i can do that then i suppose i can take the next step and so can all of us.

[tricia56]

hi im the same ive been divorced 7yrs ago and my kids are griwn up so im on my own alot and would like to meet some one but my anxiety is stoping me as i think who would want some one like me who is always axiouse which stops me doing normal thingss i dont work so i get very lonely

[macc noodle]

TBH we all need to take a chance on life don't we. I know it is really hard with anxiety but sometimes trying new things and going to new places helps us conquer some of our fears.

And what is to lose by having a go at the dating scene ? The worst thing is they reject you and so what, at least you asked them - it is their loss ! They might say yes and then you are back in the saddle and then you just need to go with flow and have some fun. Maybe the more fun you have the less your anxiety may become - worth a try if you can.

Good luck :D

[needafriendx]

I've started seeing somebody recently and my anxiety is through the roof!!!
I told him about my anxiety 2 days ago...and i swear he is being different with me!!
Maybe thats the anxiety telling me....maybe its not i dunno
i get lonely too, and im scared of lonliness, i have thoughts that if im lonley ill go crazy and something will happen.....strange isnt it!!
xx

[Deekon]

I am suffering from random dizzy spells and my biggest fear is that I will get dizzy on dates. I still go out as much as possible and have felt terrible on dates but pushed through. When I don't go out I get very depressed thinking that I "can't" do things or feel normal. I am hoping by just continuing to do things and go out, I will start to feel better when I do. But it's true, it's better to just push yourself out there, otherwise you will feel worse. Embrace the anixety! at least that's what I tell myself.

[Patsta]

Hi
I met my husband 6 months after I first started suffering from anxiety. We were set up on a blind date by his sister-in-law! After our 3rd date, he asked me what I wanted, and I told him that I wasn't ready for a serious relationship as I was emotionally unstable. He agreed, that he wasn't ready either, not long out of a marriage break-up himself, but we continued to date. Two weeks after our first date, we were inseparable....7 weeks later, we moved in together! He knew all about my anxiety and that I was on medication, and he accepted me as I was.
It is hard for someone that has never suffered from anxiety/panic/depression to even begin to understand what it is like, but there are alot of people out there that even though never having experienced it first hand, can be very supportive and accepting! Don't give up on dating or relationships because of your conditions, you may be missing out on the best time of your lives and possibly finding your soul mate, someone that will help and support you through your toughest times and darkest hours!

[mininikki]

I like someone at the moment but the thought of asking her out absolutely terrifies me!
I suppose it's a little more difficult for me because I'm a lesbian and I think she is straight! I don't help myself do I but you can't help who you're attracted to!
I'm massively afraid of rejection and fear that if she said yes I would panic even more!
I hate feeling like this, I wish there was a brain off switch!

[sarahblonde32]

I can't face dating just yet. Some days I really want it, some days im fine. Other days I cant even speak to anyone without feeling ill, so theres no way i could go on a date.
It will happen to us eventually and the right person will understand and help us through.
sx

sarah

[shoegal]

I don't think anxiety affects a relationship any more than any other illness. However, for some reason it does seem to make us feel more guilty than other illnesses would so I think the problem is more about how the anxiety makes us feel about ourselves rather than the fact we actually suffer from it (I hope that makes sense). Of course there will be some people who don't understand anxiety and will judge us for it... but who wants a partner like that anyway? I wouldn't! I think most people are more undertstanding than you think and if you meet someone you like you should go for it. Relationships don't work out for all kinds of reasons, anxiety might not have anything to do with it!!!