Intrusive thoughts taking over

[dc100]

Hi all - i finally went to the doctors yesterday and spoke about my anxiety and i was prescribe beta blockers which i started taking this morning i was really worried about them but just thought enough is enough i need a break from this cycle


im still having intrusive thoughts which really scare me i just dont know how to push them away anymore im so tired - all i know is i never used to have these thoughts and i could go about my day with no thoughts of harming people going round my head -

the most scary part is the fear im might lose control and act on them or something inside my mind is actually starting to enjoying them! the latest one is thoughts of hurting a random person who works in the coffee shop near me which i have avoided since i started having the thoughts a few weeks ago, my thoughts seem to swap between different people like when im talking to my partner or other family member it just goes round and round in my mind i hate it -

I know im may seem like a nutter but i just want this to stop

[joannap]

you are not a nutter at all - this is all part of anxiety. i too used to suffer thoughts like these and then when they did not bother me as much - i then used to torment myself that i too was enjoying them!

the things is - people who do these kind of acts - they don't spend hours getting anxious about them or analysing them - they welcome them - they would happily spend hours getting a kick out of them - your thought "what if" i am enjoying them is just that - another anxious thought.

i used to be terrified about hurting my pets - i could not avoid them because i have to look after them so avoidance is not the answer - you need to call into that coffee shop and let the fear come for it is the anxiety that is making these thoughts seem important. no one with anxiety has ever snapped/lost control - you just think you will. the more you try to not think these thoughts - the more they will come so what you need to do is to welcome them - to literally embrace them until they don;t mean anything and then they will start to fade.

beta blockers reduce the physical symptoms of anxiety and i did used to find them very helpful years ago but they are generally used for stress rather than obsessive/anxious thoughts? you may find that they take the edge off your anxiety for you to start dealing with them though xx

[dc100]

its horrible i get myself so worked up and when it finally passed i really do start thinking im doing this on purpose to myself and then start worrying im enjoying it and losing control - just want to get back to my old self without these horrible thoughts i get myself so worked up i give myself headaches and feel sick

[joannap]

the thing to do is to allow yourself to think about them so much that they start to bore you - i get them back every now and then but because i know they do not matter and they're not important - they quickly go but i did feel how you are feeling for a long time - i honestly remember thinking i would go mad or have to end it all - the thoughts bothered me so much but the more i let them come - the more i noticed that they would be there every minute instead of every second and then i could go a few hours and then days in between them and now its months x

[dc100]

thats exactly what i have been thinking i would rather hurt myself than lose control or hurt someone else, i get a horrible feeling in my head and neck when it get really bad which i guess it is the stress of thinking and anxiety, i really just want to forget about it and get better - ive started avoid all sort of situation just so worried of adding to my horrible thoughts

[joannap]

avoidance just keeps it stronger in your mind - the way through is to accept these thoughts - let yourself think them all you like - expose yourself to situations where you think make them worse - see the anxiety through - the thoughts will start to calm down.

trust me - i've been where you are now x

[dc100]

thank you for the reply