Is it just me?

[star2sparkle]

My CBT therapist wanted to help me in other areas of my life (I suffer from phobias, anxiety, depression and panic attacks) such as building confidence with working but he didn't have the necessary referral form with him, that I believe he was meant to have. He promised that he would get it to me by email by the end of that day or the next because I was keen. Maybe I shouldn't have felt this way but I felt let down by him when it took him a week to get it to me. I felt over emotional, as if I wasn't of any value. Do you know what I mean? I had tried contacting him on his work mobile but he never answered in that week or didn't answer his email. I didn't pester but when he eventually sent the form by email, I did reply to say I felt let down. Perhaps I over reacted but when I was due to see him again, I couldn't face it. I felt as if we weren't ever getting off the ground at all. When he texted to ask about the appointment I was due to have I said no, I said I didn't believe it would work for me and that I didn't believe in him. Now he has just accepted my response and wished me well, but that's that. I still feel let down though and the whole thing has made me feel depressed. My partner (who I hasten to say suffers from depression which could affect his response to this) said that my therapist will be glad to have me off his list because I was too much of a challenge and they are over busy anyway. Either way I still feel rubbish.
Anyone experienced this or have any thoughts?


Thank you

[Typer]

What a shame you and your therapist were unable to talk it through. I am guessing this is paid for by NHS or work or something?

If his directive is only to offer CBT, this could affect the way he responded. If he were offering talking therapy too, then he could see your feelings as part of the work and he could work with them.

He may have been unwell or something else delayed him getting the form to you - even so it would be good practice to apologize and ask you to come in and talk about it. Again though, this may depend on funding if it is funded. If he could have, then he should have and perhaps he's not that good?

I am more concerned by your husband's comments. Of course any good therapist would not see you or anyone in your position a challenge, nor would they be glad to have you off of their books. Therapy is there for people like yourself.

Its a shame that the client can often blame themselves when the therapist fails them. From what you say, in this instance, therapy failed you, not you it. Dont let it put you off, there are some great therapists out there.

[star2sparkle]

Thanks Typer for your reply. Yes it was NHS and they only have so many sessions. Never enough, especially for someone like me where the problems are very deep rooted and have been there for 30 years. I think he should have taken on board my feelings and tend to agree that perhaps he just isn't that good for not dealing with it. And then he just let me go! Think that is why my other half said that, he seemed too relieved. I don't think I can afford the great therapists that there are out there I'm afraid but I won't give up:).

[Typer]

Many agencies have good therapists offering free or low cost therapy.

I read your other posts last year, when you first began with this guy and he wanted you to hyperventilate to induce the symptoms of panic. He was attempting exposure therapy. But, one has to be very careful when and how to do this and if a client is suitable. Its not a standard thing and therapist need to suss out what is suitable and go with the flow and need of the client. There are other CBT ways of helping someone face their fears. In my opinion, he sounds quite inexperienced or just plain not very good.

I have been off work a year because I am a therapist and have been for 16 years. I am also a qualified supervisor. I stopped work because I could not ethically do my job properly whilst having palpitations and dizzy spells. From what you have said, and in my opinion, he was not the one for you.

I would ask for a re-referral with another therapist and give it another shot.

[ladybird64]

Hi. :)

Just an impartial reply from me as I am also someone that has had "issues" for a long time but has never had therapy.

I agree with you that the therapist should have sent the form to you as he promised to do..unfortunately it is common in all areas of the NHS that things don't get done when they should!

Some people can shug off these shortcomings but I'm with you on this one, if something is promised it should be delivered, or at least an apology should be offered.

But..you did say you felt let down by him and didn't want to see him any more so he has done as you asked and discharged you. He isn't going to come after you to try and change your mind, health professionals don't do this, particularly as waiting lists are so long.

I think because you feel sensitive (not a criticism, I'm exactly the same) you expected him to try and convince you to stay as his patient and because he didn't you feel he doesn't care. He probably does but there is a limit to what he can do and anyway, it sounds like you would be better off with a different therapist!

I'm honestly not sure how these things work but as far as I know there are only a certain amount of sessions offered on the NHS regardless of how long you have had problems for.

I agree with Typer, try and get a re-referral and give it another go. Lots of people don't gel with their therapist first time around but manage much better with somebody else, I hope this is the case for you.

take care :flowers: