So low and fed up [Archive]

ElizabethJane

09-02-11, 21:21

Not sure where to post this I haven't felt this low and fed up for a while. I work with a colleague who contantly lies in front of my boss. I'm so fed up and tired. This gentleman deserves no respect. I've never met anyone like him and I want to forgive him but he contantly lies and then says to us 'are you calling me a liar?' if we challenge him. His time keeping is appaling and he has twice in two days arranged to meet people and then not turned up. My boss is an absolute darling who has my complete respect but continues to employ him. He either choses to do nothing about the situation or has chosen a softly,softly approach. He gets no repect from me or anybody else. We all need to get on as we are a small business and rely on each others integrity. Sorry to rant like this.I feel a little unsupported.I have sinus pain and feel like calling in sick tomorrow. I don't expect any one to say much but I really think that I'm going round the twist when I witness something which is denied and them I'm called a liar. EJ.

ladybird64

09-02-11, 21:46

Hi EJ :hugs:

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling low but I think I would be exactly the same in your situation.

It sounds like this serial fibber has done the same thing to others in your workplace..would it not be possible for you to tackle him about his lies together?

Maybe in a larger workplace this wouldn't be a big deal but when there few of you and you have to work in close proximity the tension is bound to mount and stress will result.

It is entirely up to you if you want to raise this matter with the boss but I'm not sure how much that would help to be honest. The boss may be a nice man but if he is aware of these goings and and is ignoring them, he's not being very considerate of his staff as a whole!

Maybe have a word with other workers and see what they think?

Try not to let this nasty little man get you down too much, hope you feel better soon, especially with the sinus pain. x

ElizabethJane

10-02-11, 15:37

Thankyou Ange for your kind comments. The problem with depression is that (even a recovering depressive like me) tends to paint the picture black. I have had a lot of support from my colleagues today and my boss has told me how much he values me as an individual. I did not speak to the other colleague today. I still tend to blame myself if things go wrong. I don't think I always have the right skills to cope and will pitch in angrily if I think I am being wronged. The sinus pain is horrible and I think the paracetamol is making me feel sick. I have been to the pharamcist who has prescribed sudafed with phenylephrine which will not contraindicate with the lithium. He has also told me to use an inhalation. Today I have been standing in our shop today and I just feel I can't think. My head hurts at the back and the front. I still find it difficult to decide whether I am angry and exhausted or just depressed and that is clouding my judgement. EJ

nanny

10-02-11, 16:18

I would feel exactly the same as you, I really detest nasty people who can get away with anything.
If you get on well with your boss why not mention how you feel, it may not make a lot of difference but i'm sure it would make you feel a little happier.

suzy-sue

10-02-11, 16:56

Sorry you are feeling horrible EJ ..:hugs:Dont blame yourself for the way this person had made you feel .Hes to blame not you .Hope you feel better soon and the new meds help you .Take care luv Sue x:bighug1:

JT69

11-02-11, 15:16

Hi EJ,

Sending you a big hug:hugs:. I would feel the same as you do too!!! Some individuals drive me mad the way they behave and get away with it...I have to deal with it alot in my job and its not easy!!

I hope that the pain killers help you...sinus pain is awful...I have suffered in the past with it and it does make you feel exhausted too!!

Take care and go and treat yourself to something nice.

Jo.xx

ElizabethJane

11-02-11, 15:38

Typer

11-02-11, 16:34

EJ, when I think of all the worry and strife I gave myself over others and what they are doing at work. I hate bad ethics and people like this guy. Like you I would let my brain get involved and irritated. BUT...and tell me if I offend

The best thing I ever did for myself, many, many moons ago, was to let these things pass over me. I would imagine the earth from space and think how little it is, and how stupid and insignificant things are in the bigness of everything. This is how I would deal with horrible people like this man. Let it go, its his karma or whatever other payback he is due.

I know it has an effect on your own work...but all you can do is your best during a day's work. Smile through it..I promise you will feel better. Think of nice things as soon as this man gets inside of you...because inside of you he is. Don't let him upset your own balance...its not important but your mental well being is. Smile and let go.

ElizabethJane

11-02-11, 17:14

Thanks Typer. It would be good if I could let things wash over me but I cannot especially when A was blatantly lying to my boss. I have managed to let it go. It is hard as we all have to work together but I know my boss values my contribution to the job and as an individual. It is my problem that this sort of episode leaves me feeling so drained and exhausted. I don't feel so low today and I know that is partly due to my colleagues supporting me and my meds. I do talk and let others know how I am feeling both here and at work. I'm scared of getting too low. Thank you once again. EJ.

ElizabethJane

11-02-11, 17:15

I really don't want to think of A inside me in any sense of the word!!

Hazel B

11-02-11, 17:51

:bighug1:

Try to "rise above" the lying toe-rag and keep your dignity. Not easy, but you will feel really superior!:shades:

:hugs::hugs:x

Typer

11-02-11, 20:36

I really don't want to think of A inside me in any sense of the word!!

yeah, probably not a good way for me to have said that. I meant that when we are low or using our energy on ourselves in the way that you need to right now, well then these people get right inside our heads...their negativity seems to rub off.

Sorry about the term "inside you"...I hope you get what I mean now.

Take care and hugs,

ElizabethJane

11-02-11, 22:18

I know what you are saying but it is easy to believe in this type of person and be sucked into the negative energy. EJ

JT69

12-02-11, 15:35

Thanks Jo. I am feeling better. I hate to admit sometimes that I feel defeated. It is hard if you know that you are right. I have come down a bit it is hard to stay angry for long. We all work together in a very small space so I have to talk to A . Our shop is rather like the shop in the 'little Britain' sketch where Matt Lucas calls up to his wife and asks for something outrageous. Our shop is just like that and we can usually match the outrageous request!! We have been busy today and the sinus pain has been quite bad. thank you for your concern. I hope that you are alright reducing the mirtazapine? EJ

Hi EJ,

I havent started to reduce yet...I am waiting for the spring and then I will start, I have a holiday booked for the end of April and I thought I may wait until after that to reduce, as dont want to end up with withdrawal etc when I am going away as I tend to become a little anxious whenever I go away??? Wierd but just happens and then once I get there I settle before having it all over again when its time to come home!! Be nice if this does not happen this time!!

I have managed to lose a stone in weight though, just by eating healthy and going on my treadmill regularly again...I feel much more energised and not such a "lump" even though I have a few more stone to go!!! Just shows it can be done even on the mirtazipine!!!

Take care of you.

Jo.xx