Introducing Me and My Problems

[topaz02]

I can't believe I've found this forum. It is helping me so much already to know that there are so many others with the same worries as me.

I suffered with depression about 4 years ago - and it's haunted me ever since :(. It happened at uni - I was living in a really awful area with awful people. I had had a lot of change in a short space of time. I spiralled downwards very quickly. Luckily I have very very supportive parents and friends, and through a year of medication and counselling - I managed to get myself back on track.

Have been ok for nearly 4 years, but it's all happening again. I have a completely negative attitude to everything, I have no motivation, no self-confidence, and I worry about absolutely everything - and it's resulted in a lot of anxiety, panic attacks, and now I fear its turning to depression again.

I have to admit to suffering with Health Anxiety recently. Bad pains in my head, neck pain, and ringing in my ears - but in my head I have something terrible wrong with me, and feel I might die at any moment.

Also (and this is a big deal for me) - I suffer with OCD. No-one knows this, but I've had compulsions for many years. I've never been diagnosed - but I know I have it. Mainly to do with cleaning my teeth a certain way (and if I don't I have to start all over again or 'bad things will happen'). This has filtered through into other things like certain objects around my house having to be placed a certain way.

To add to all this, I had suffered from an event in my childhood (that is too painful to write down) that I feel is at the bottom of all the other problems. I hope to try and get counselling or similar to help with deal with it once and for all.

I want help, I want to feel better. I want this terrible doom and gloom about the future to lift - so I can actually enjoy things again.

I hope to find some comfort and relief from you all on here. I have spent several days reading posts before signing up myself. But I quickly realised how much in common I have with a lot of you.

Topaz02

Worrying Is Like A Rocking Horse - It Doesn't Actually Get You Anywhere...

[Ma Larkin]

Hi Topaz, welcome to NMP. I think you need counselling hun to get to the root of the problem. I've had counselling for the past 14 weeks now, at first I thought "what a waste of time, she just sits & listens to me moaning on", but I stuck it out & its the best thing I could have done. You are most certainly right that what happened in your childhood, which is too painful to talk about, is probably why you suffer intermittently with depression & anxiety. There is always something that happens in our lives at certain periods, which subconsciously trigger off awful memories, which makes us depressed & in turn, turns into anxiety or panic. OCD is a tough one, but councelling would help that too. CBT is a good form of counselling if you can get it in your area.

You will find comfort & relief on here Topaz. For a lot of us its our lifeline to the real world. Luckily, I don't suffer from agorophobia, but many members on here do & this is there only form of contact. You will meet some lovely people with lots of advice for you.

Take care & good luck with the future.

Les, xx

[topaz02]

Thanks so much for your post.

Writing all that down has made be realise I'm hiding from the problem. I will try and organise an appointment with my GP from next week to talk through my options.

I know there are many people at lot worse off than me - and if I think about that too much, I feel worse (I seem to other excessively about everyone else). I'm so glad this forum is here for those people.

Thanks again for your kind words. I wish you good luck with your counselling.

Tx

Worrying Is Like A Rocking Horse - It Doesn't Actually Get You Anywhere...

[Ma Larkin]

There are a lot of people worse off than us T but sometimes it doesn't feel like that to us does it mate. Never hide from your problem, the sooner its out in the open the sooner its treatable. So many people sit & do nothing for years before doing anything at all about it. Try & write down how you feel so you have something to take to your GP, you always tend to forget things once you get there & come away thinking "I wish I'd mentioned that". A lot of people on here keep diaries, so you can look back & see if you can find a pattern in the good days & bad days, & if there is a trigger that started the depression/anxiety or panic. It doesn't have to be much, just a couple of lines i.e. I felt good today because such a thing happened, or I didn't feel so good today because I had a panic attack which was probably brought on by...." If we can find a pattern on why these things happen its half the battle & we know what to avoid. Always think positive & never wait until its too late. My mum always says "never do tomorrow what you can do today". She also says "there is someone out there for everyone". I don't know whether I believe that one or not cos me & mum are single lol!!!

Les, xx

[clickaway]

Welcome Aboard, Topaz.

I am so glad you have joined us and are to seek advice from the GP on what your options may be. A good idea would be to be referred to your local Community Mental Health Team, a path which I have trodden. Someone there will assess your needs and then decide on the best course of treatment (therapy).

Its important that you recognise *why* you are like this, and so many of us are like this because of our childhoods.

Enjoy the forum and feel safe - we are an understanding and non-judgemental bunch!



Ray
http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

[Alexandra]

Hi Topaz

Welcome to the forum.

You will find lots of help & support on here.

Take Care



Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

[May Day]

Hi Topaz

This is a good place to find support and advice and i'm sure you'll feel better just for being able to share the problems with some one else

Take care

May

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

[trac67]

Hi Topaz,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends.

Take care

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[Karen]

Hi Topaz

Welcome to the forum. I agree that sorting out some therapy to deal with the root cause of this is most likely to lead to full recovery.

You might find the following information helpful:

First Steps (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/default.asp?t=cms&c=firststeps)

Symptoms (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/default.asp?t=cms&c=symptoms)

Health Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/default.asp?t=cms&c=healthanxiety)

Links post: Links to posts about Common Problems (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7784)

You will find a lot of help and support here.




Karen



Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey