phil06
10-02-11, 13:02
My counsellor is trying to encourage me to exercise and go out and be more active but I am finding it quite hard. She says it's simple stuff that doesn't take too long maybe deep breathing and stuff.
But I have a ever growing list of worries in my head health wise maybe it could be..Been times I reach for a book but stop myself just dwelling on what it could be.
I know it maybe will go away when I come to terms with it, my head accepts it, moves on, lives life again..but when? not today, probably not tomorrow, maybe not even this year. I can't find the willpower to change, if I do it's brief until another panic.
Looking on a depersonalization forum never helped as there's all sorts of crazy disorders these people have found I've never heard of which make me feel worse. Diabetes to epilepsy to needing glasses, xx disorder or syndrome to all sorts...it's a symptom that use to come brief but it took over me daily mixture of DP/DR attacks and just can't accept it.
Sometimes you think you do good but anxiety will still linger. I lost my job recently for being late and stuff but it was a comfort zone I now fear finding another job as I am a little worried about going out. But on a positive the traveling for that job was a bit far so maybe I can find a less stressful new job. I feel angry as I can't live my life how I need to I have given up on finding a g.f I still look but feel hopeless. I just feel a bit..can't be bothered about finding a new job partly as I feel I can't walk in and give my all right now.
I've relapsed a few times over the years but I'm finding it hard within myself to cope, accept..just duno what I can try that will work..or what I can motivate myself to stick to. My counselor called me lazy a few weeks ago and I've been told I don't take advice on board but what can I say..some people find this easier than others. I take one step forward and two back..feel I'm shutting everything off right now just to worry about me.:shrug:
But I have a ever growing list of worries in my head health wise maybe it could be..Been times I reach for a book but stop myself just dwelling on what it could be.
I know it maybe will go away when I come to terms with it, my head accepts it, moves on, lives life again..but when? not today, probably not tomorrow, maybe not even this year. I can't find the willpower to change, if I do it's brief until another panic.
Looking on a depersonalization forum never helped as there's all sorts of crazy disorders these people have found I've never heard of which make me feel worse. Diabetes to epilepsy to needing glasses, xx disorder or syndrome to all sorts...it's a symptom that use to come brief but it took over me daily mixture of DP/DR attacks and just can't accept it.
Sometimes you think you do good but anxiety will still linger. I lost my job recently for being late and stuff but it was a comfort zone I now fear finding another job as I am a little worried about going out. But on a positive the traveling for that job was a bit far so maybe I can find a less stressful new job. I feel angry as I can't live my life how I need to I have given up on finding a g.f I still look but feel hopeless. I just feel a bit..can't be bothered about finding a new job partly as I feel I can't walk in and give my all right now.
I've relapsed a few times over the years but I'm finding it hard within myself to cope, accept..just duno what I can try that will work..or what I can motivate myself to stick to. My counselor called me lazy a few weeks ago and I've been told I don't take advice on board but what can I say..some people find this easier than others. I take one step forward and two back..feel I'm shutting everything off right now just to worry about me.:shrug: