panic,please please leave me

[london lad 27]

helo there this is my 1st post and i am terribly desperate,i have had panic off and on for 6 years ,ive taken medication throughout this time and not sure if it has worked.i had got some of my life back where i had learnt to manage the panic it was a restricted life but 1 which was better than the life i had originally had when my panic 1st began,on saturday this all changed as i experienced a full blown panic attack again for the 1st time in a couple of years which has dented my confidence massively i had forgotten how violent they really are and how scared they made me,since saturday all i have done is fear another 1 so have anxiety constantly running around my system.ive had cbt a few years back and know the techniques to help it and understand but when it happens just seems to take over.when i get into full panic attack i dont know what i am capable off i hate how they make me feel i just want a small bit of me back.If i do get time when i relax and the panic goes down i cherish this moment and feel sad for doing so. Will i get through this again??? i did say if i ever had it again that would be it for me!!! i find it so tough am trying to carry on as per normal but am also finding it terribly difficult. xx:weep:

[Geoff2301]

it'll pass like it has done in the past..... difficult though it is, you just need to remember that!! I know its hard to imagine you'll ever feel ok again but you will.

[london lad 27]

i am so desperate for it go,i am 27 and did feel i had it under control but then after last saturday it has scared me massively.ive stopped eating properly kind of wanted to curl up into a ball even though i know this is wrong.face my fear and understand them its just so difficult sometimes

[FreeSpirit]

Did anything in particular trigger the attack last saturday?

[teez]

best thing to remember is that this will pass for you,,panic can only take control if we let it,,which i do off and on which why mine comes and goes,,when i feeling strong it still rears its ugly head but i deal with it differently,,which is what its all about,,stop waiting and watching round every corner for one to appear or it will oblige you,,try to follow your normal day to day living and if it happens again you will come through it ,,you have before cos thats what we do,,take care x

[london lad 27]

free spirit,i think my attack happened last saturday as i was travelling a far distance from home the next day and was due to go out the sat night aswell for dinner.i crumbled cryed screamed for help was horrible.i have been on edge for nearly a week i know its me feeding it and my thoughts are creating it its just trying to control these.i know i should face fears like im thinking maybe cycle to my sisters in a minute i really dont want too but i know it will be good for me in the long run x

[kelly2010]

I know exactly how your feeling im going through the same thing!!! I had a big panic attack last sunday and was having them all night till bout 5 in the morning when i managed to fall asleep since then i have been on edge and panicing everyday thinking its gonna happen again like sunday and mine started through just sitting watching t.v for no reason. like me you have it stuck in your head and keep thinking about the last one you had and it is really scary but it will pass for both of us we have just gotta try and distract ourself from it when we start getting them thoughts let me know how you get on!!!

[london lad 27]

kelly i know what it is and i know how to deal with it its just doing so!!!! ive just eaten my 1st proper meal in days and still not sure wether i enjoyed it.we have to get better surely?????? life isnt meant to be like this.my heart is with you i feel your pain xxxxxx

[FreeSpirit]

London Lad, the fact you know what the likely trigger was is half the solution..I know you can't spend your life dodging situations..but you can manage them.. I personally think that because you had two big things to do on one day it pushed you over the edge..you'd done so goddam well up until then too!! don't lose it now..it's one set back..I've been in the same place..literally curled up in a chair..lost a stone in 3 weeks thru not eating..if I can do it you can...and you've already done it before..not easy..god probs the hardest thing ever..I don't want to make recovery sound easy cos we both know it's not..but distract yourself..think of anything but how you're feeling..and it IS just a feeling..the bike ride to your sisters sounds a brilliant idea..go for it!! thinking of you : )

fran

[london lad 27]

managed to do it fran not quite sure how and i am back home,isnt it meant to make me feel better for doing it???? i feel quite panicky at this moment i just wana take control.

[midgey]

Hi London Lad.
When you manage to achieve something that you thought you wouldn't be able to....like cycling to your sisters, it's important to be positive about it after, celebrate it infact (you probably remember this from your previous CBT).
If when you get back, you think negatively, like "thank God thats over", you just reinforce your negative mindset. You wll be telling your mind and body that it was right to be aprehensive and anxious in that situation.
If when you got back, you smile at yourself in the mirror, punch the air and say "Yay, I done it", you reinforce positive thoughts.
When I first started doing this I felt a complete idiot....but it works.
I have felt panic like you describe....I became quite agoraphobic actually, but by keep plodding on, and challenging yourself everyday, u'll get there....Good Luck,

[FreeSpirit]

Well done!!! jeez you really must have some will power an then some!! sorry you're still feelin panicky...you didn't let it beat you tho did you...you took control...you wanted to go out on your bike an you did!! try and take your mind off how your feeling..read..watch telly..play a fave cd..anything..it's JUST a feeling..it WILL go..just keep pushing it back where it belongs..in the past..do your damnedest to keep doing whatever you'd normally do..so chuffed you got out on your bike : ) pm me anytime if you need to tell someone who understands how your feeling.

fran

[london lad 27]

im paul pleased to meet you,does it honestly get better??? i know i got throught it once just dont kno if i have strength to go again