View Full Version : taking yourself to a&e
has anyone done this before because of their anxiety / panic issues?
when I first started suffering with my panic attacks I went to hospital 3 times in the same amount of months, I also once called out an ambulance because I couldn't drive because I was in such a state
I felt so shameful afterwards despite being convinced something was wrong. To be told there was nothing wrong not only embarrassed me but I felt somewhat guilty for wasting medical staffs precious time
I have since learnt to ride out my anxiety /imaginary health worries. Despite this there have been times I have contemplated the trip to hospital, and even having done so not to actually go in.
I thought I had broken this cycle but on Friday at work I had a bit of a runny nose and snorted (I know I should have blown tut tut) but then it felt as though it was all stuck in my throat, I could neiher gag or swallow and kept trying to do one or the other which set off a panic attack. I was in the gents at the time and I started banging on the wall to try and swallow, all of a sudden nature kicked in and i tried to breath and did so to find nothing was stuck but i felt as though something was wrong, all panic symptoms came rushing over me but in the height of it I couldn't tell myself it was panic, I was convinced my breathing wasn't right and that I needed help. I went back to my desk grabbed my car keys and said i was going for an early lunch. Instead I walked hastily to my car feeling like I would collapse as I walked towards it, got in and drove to the local A&E. The whole time I was driving agitated and concerned for my well being. When I got to the hospital I didn't know what to do... "If something is wrong how have I made it hear of my own accord? I'm still breathing, I haven't fainted... I don't want to go in to a&e and waste their time, I don't want to have to explain to my managers that I have an anxiety disorder and in the midst of it I thought I needed medical help when I didn't" but on the other hand I thought "I still don't feel right, waht if I leave without being seen to and had required their help"
In the end I sat behind the wheel on a side road near the hospital. I started flicking through the radio, messing with my mobile phone.... basically doing anything I could to feel "normal" in the end I decided to head back to office and not bother the hospital staff. I was still shaken up but miles calmer than when I had set off with the hospital in mind.
I am so disapointed and upset that it has come back to this after years and years of coping.....
with the added element of a choking phobia that has crept up on me and the lack of eating I am doing this is becoming a real strain
ohhh dont be upset you took control didnt you,,,if it took that you had to sit outside the hospital,,then so be,,i think you did well large pat on the back for you,,,yup ive been to the hospital about two or three times with panic,,,had tests ,,sat around waiting for the results to only to calm down and want to go home,,last time was before christmas,,id had a change of bp med that sent my missbeats into overdrive and my breathig weird,,so hubby called out the paramedics,,after they did a ecg i began to calm down,,they was good with me told me they would rather i call them out ,,than not and something was happening,,your not waste-ing their time ,,our illness is just as debilatating as any illness,,please dont feel bad bet we can all identify with you
ohhh dont be upset you took control didnt you,,,if it took that you had to sit outside the hospital,,then so be,,i think you did well large pat on the back for you,,,yup ive been to the hospital about two or three times with panic,,,had tests ,,sat around waiting for the results to only to calm down and want to go home,,last time was before christmas,,id had a change of bp med that sent my missbeats into overdrive and my breathig weird,,so hubby called out the paramedics,,after they did a ecg i began to calm down,,they was good with me told me they would rather i call them out ,,than not and something was happening,,your not waste-ing their time ,,our illness is just as debilatating as any illness,,please dont feel bad bet we can all identify with you
thanks for the kind words teez :)
I guess you're right, it's just very stressful no worrying when the next one is going to pop up. I ended up coming clean with my operations manager about my anxiety disorder (didn't mentione the hospitsl thing) h was really understanding and said he had feelings of not being real as a teenager so could somewhat relate. Also said he'd not tell anyone else about it and he was happy for me to go out the office for a short time if ever I felt things were too much.
That was a relief but I hated having to tell him cos I go on trips abroad with him to see clients and really hope this doesn't jeopardise things like that for me in the future
I need to sort out the whole fear of choking though it is so irrational. We all need to / have the capability to eat. Pay day tomorrow think it is time to get back to CBT and iron out these thoughts
Hi. I visited a and e seven times in one month last year. Only stopped going because my mum would no longer drive me up to the hospital. Hope u feel better soon
Hi. I visited a and e seven times in one month last year. Only stopped going because my mum would no longer drive me up to the hospital. Hope u feel better soon
cheers Emma, hope you'e doing better now?
I do feel better today than friday but have mainly been up in my room, and still struggling to make myself eat... damn these irrational thoughts
Leeroy i wish i was at a and e now :( i know how you feeling and its horrible. I lost a stone in weight during that month when i lept visitong a n e. Hope you feel better soon and make sure you eat :)
Leeroy i wish i was at a and e now :( i know how you feeling and its horrible. I lost a stone in weight during that month when i lept visitong a n e. Hope you feel better soon and make sure you eat :)
so do I all of a sudden, just tried eating again and semi gagged on it, scary as owt
whats the matter Emma? whats making you feel like you should be at hospital?
I have had a small ham sandwich on the table next to me for a few hours no, Out of 5 small bites I have swallowed three of them the rest I have spat back out, I dont get it but when I swallow my food it feels like its getting stuck
It should be an involuntary thing you food going down the "right way" but I can't help thinking it isn't and now it's starting to physically feel that way, I am supposed to be having a velentines meal with someone special tonight and I am scared I will ruin it for her considering I cant even eat a bloody ham roll. I am tempted to have a few beers as that relaxes me but that is a terrible habbit to form, drinking booze to get the confidence to eat
Leeroy I think the issue is nothing more than anxiety. I had this with a tuna sandwich a few weeks ago. Please try and forget about it and enjoy your meal out:) in my thread it explains why I want to be in hospital. I can't retype it as I'm on my phone. Feel better soon.:)
tinycritter
13-02-11, 15:57
Hey leeroy,
I have been to A & E maybe six or seven times in the last three years - mainly with panic attacks that got out of hand, struggling to breathe etc. And once when I was convinced I was having a heart attack which turned out to be a panic attack as well. I was so ashamed of myself after that one that I didn't leave the house for three days. I know it's hard to think like this but like teez has already said, you haven't wasted their time. At the time it's happening, you genuinely feel concerned for your immediate health, which is why A&E departments are there after all!
I'm glad you're feeling a bit better today. Try to relax as much as you can. :)
x
Leeroy I think the issue is nothing more than anxiety. I had this with a tuna sandwich a few weeks ago. Please try and forget about it and enjoy your meal out:) in my thread it explains why I want to be in hospital. I can't retype it as I'm on my phone. Feel better soon.:)
orders recieved captain lol
:)
orders recieved captain lol
:)
Lol:yesyes:
hi
I have been to A&E about 8 times in the last 7 months for fast heart beat and it gets wore when I'm there. I have great difficulty in saying it's not your heart but the panic certainly wins and I get my wife to take me there. Really embarred after the event and my wife is not at all happy.
I'm training like mad to get fit so I have a comfortable heart rate per minute but it's very slow progress,. I think I'm doing OK - when I eat or come across a scenario, it starts again. I'm determined to get the upper hand on it though.
hi
I have been to A&E about 8 times in the last 7 months for fast heart beat and it gets wore when I'm there. I have great difficulty in saying it's not your heart but the panic certainly wins and I get my wife to take me there. Really embarred after the event and my wife is not at all happy.
I'm training like mad to get fit so I have a comfortable heart rate per minute but it's very slow progress,. I think I'm doing OK - when I eat or come across a scenario, it starts again. I'm determined to get the upper hand on it though.
Hi Micka
you say when you eat? does this sometimes trigger panic for you as well? or have I misinterpreted that
you're right training really does help, in fact I love it and have aspirations to achieve an MMA fighter type physique, at one point I almost irradicated my anxiety issues through dedicating myself to training but now my problem with food at the moment means I aint getting enough energy to hit the gym properly, nevermind to take in the protein levels required for my goals. In fact when I do eat of late it's normally been junk or not the best of meals cos I have found them easier to swallow, the only good thing to come of this is I have gone right off chips but would have prefferred it to be through choice rather than i feel like I can't swallow the texture.
I know your determination can prevail, and I know mine can too, I just need a bit of help to realise it i think
Hi Leeroy
Eating food makes me panicy as my heart speeds up, I know this is normal as it has been explained to me but I just find it difficult to accept at times and feel ill.
I'm having a heart monitor next week just to exhaust the last line of cardiology investigation. what has really annoyed me is that i have researched everything and it's made me a pain in the arse with my doctor or anyone elso as I question them as to what they are doing or prescribing if I ever need to see them.
Had a bad knee and questioned the knee consultant about my heart- bad thing.
Hey Leeroy,
I've been to A & E a couple of times over the past few months. One time I went with an excrutiating headache and was kept in over-night. I spent the whole night crying because I should have been at home with my beautiful little girls, I just sat there thinking 'what am I doing'!!!!
So needless to say I haven't been back since although I've felt close to it on many occasions. As others have said, don't feel bad for seeking help.
I hope you've managed to go out for your meal
K xxx
alicegreen
14-02-11, 04:44
A really good tip that was given to me was to forget about swallowing and just focus on chewing a small mouthfull at a time,slowly.
This works as before you know it you swallow automatically,and it takes the pressure of eating/swallowing away by focusing your mind on something else.
Good luck x
Greenman50
14-02-11, 09:09
" I have had a small ham sandwich on the table next to me for a few hours no, Out of 5 small bites I have swallowed three of them the rest I have spat back out, I dont get it but when I swallow my food it feels like its getting stuck "
At last , someone with the same as me ! I have this stupid globus feeling and when i eat i feel like the food is getting stuck , either in my throat or my back . I hate it .
I,m NOT anxious , it really is annoying , i,ve got the need to clear my throat every morning and loads of clear flem , i,ve had this since Mid December , now its mid Feb , so 8 weeks , my doctor doesn,t seem concerned as she said if it was anything sinister i would be loseing weight and it would be getting worse , but i,ve put a stone in weight on .
My throat also feels dry / strange , perhaps tight ? i can,t explain but it comes and goes . I just try to ignore it but it won,t go away .
Hope you feel better soon mate :yesyes:
thanks for all your replies everyone
we weren't lined up to go out but to have a nice meal in at my house but I managed to ruin that, through being exhausted and still not wanting to eat. She ate some dinner and I just had soup and picked at a bit of cake. I am so pissed off with myself, we were sat watching come dine with me and people were eating steaks and mussels and proper food and I was there salivating looking at it going on about how nice it all looked yet there I was scared to eat properly.
Lucky for me she is quite understanding about it all. And I have promised her I will get better and take her out for meals like we used to do.
I will be arranging my CBT sessions this week and have even booked to go on a charles linden retreat... I'm pretty desperate now! The time away will hopefully do me good and help me relax.
This morning I have eaten a couple of scotch pancakes and a bit of chocolate.. nto the healthiest of breakfasts but right now i just need the energy from any food I can get into my system .... one step at a time and all that lark
thanks again to all who have taken time to reply :yesyes:
macc noodle
14-02-11, 10:21
leeroy
you did well - you took control and resisted the urge to go into A&E. Your post shows a real awareness of the problem and I this really is an excellent sign that you will soon get back on top of the panic. :D
Great that you felt comfortable enough to tell your Ops Mgr about your difficulties - I can remember only too well many years ago spending far too long in the ladies panicking about panicking - and so on and on it went - really I am sure that my boss wondered where on earth I was all the time!
Food - mmmm - well don't worry too much about not eating being able to eat tonight with your special somebody - just gaze into their eyes a lot and give them lots of compliments and they won't even notice if you eat anything ! :D Oh yes - you could choose soft foods that don't need much chewing and should slide down nice and easily too...............................
Have a good evening :)
leeroy
you did well - you took control and resisted the urge to go into A&E. Your post shows a real awareness of the problem and I this really is an excellent sign that you will soon get back on top of the panic. :D
Great that you felt comfortable enough to tell your Ops Mgr about your difficulties - I can remember only too well many years ago spending far too long in the ladies panicking about panicking - and so on and on it went - really I am sure that my boss wondered where on earth I was all the time!
Food - mmmm - well don't worry too much about not eating being able to eat tonight with your special somebody - just gaze into their eyes a lot and give them lots of compliments and they won't even notice if you eat anything ! :D Oh yes - you could choose soft foods that don't need much chewing and should slide down nice and easily too...............................
Have a good evening :)
the thing is i really want to eat
I would love a plate of buffolo wings, followed by a huge cheese burger and fries... I am feeling american today lol but after the first mouthful i will panic that i am going to choke on it and it stops me eating
I am becoming so lethargic and starting to feel weak cos of the lack of food ... I now have an actual sore throat from all the gagging and swallowing n all
tried eating a chicken salad sandwich before and it just didnt happen :weep:
in two days I have eat 3 bites of a sandwich, a bowl of tomato soup, a few scotch pancakes and a choc bar.... this aint me at all... I was doing body building last year and was eating 5-6 small meals per day!
Sometimes 'downing' half a bottle of water then tilting my head back and eating worked for me.
Sometimes 'downing' half a bottle of water then tilting my head back and eating worked for me.
anythings worth a go I guess lol
to cop all this off now starting to get mouth ulcers with a nice big one right next to my tonsils .... it'd be comical if I wasn't so shaken up and in a bad way over it
had a big panic attack in asda car park, was feeling weak and a bit unreal going tot eh cash machine then felt the same in the store as I walked to the car began to feel cold so sat in the car trying to relax sipping water which felt like it went down the wrong way, so I got a bit agitated. Again tried to relax. I decided to pull off but couldn't see properly cos a van was next to me so edge out slowly and then a bloke was walking past the van which made me jump and it felt like my heart had stopped for a second... we all jump and thats what happened I know that but it felt so much more intense and scary cos I was in a heightened state
I then spent the next half an hour sat in the car near work toying with a&e again!!!! I even asked my gf if she would come with me... I kept telling myself i am ok go in to work but then kept being unable to swallow and wanted someone to check me out...
I eventually went back into work... I am sat here atleast and have conquered something but now keep ketting chest pains and pains in the middle of my back.... as well as generally feeling anxious and weak
sorry to waffle folks it helps a little bit writing it down
just sent off my application form for CBT anyway
Ella_Jayne
14-02-11, 16:26
When my anxiety/panic attacks started I called out an ambulance and then literally every other day from then I was either in A&E or I'd call an ambulance out. I was convinced I was dying every time. In a month I was probably in 3 different hospitals around 15-20 times (total not each) and called an ambulance out about 6 times. I was really bad. But now, haven't been to the hospital for months and my anxiety/panic issues are starting to be just a memory.
When my anxiety/panic attacks started I called out an ambulance and then literally every other day from then I was either in A&E or I'd call an ambulance out. I was convinced I was dying every time. In a month I was probably in 3 different hospitals around 15-20 times (total not each) and called an ambulance out about 6 times. I was really bad. But now, haven't been to the hospital for months and my anxiety/panic issues are starting to be just a memory.
that's great news Ell Jayne
glad to hear you're doing better... was there anything that helped you break the cycle?
dont worry about waffling on,,we all do it,,well hubby says i do,,hmmm anyway,,i once spent six weeks living on the odd mouthful of cuppa soups,,cups of tea and water,,it started when i was eating one day and my heart miss beat and i noticed it,,so the next time i ate,,i was on the look out for it,,and yup it happened,,course it did lol,, this kept happening everytime i tried eating anything,,so i didnt bother,,i managed to fool myself into drinking cuppa soups id watered down ,,i told myself they were drink not food,,my family were young at the time and the kids became worried so did my friends as i lost three stone in weight,,so in the end i forced tiny mouthfuls of thicker soups, mushed veg until i ate normally,,sometimes wished i hadnt cos i gained back twice as much weight lol,,but i do understand the whole food thing,,try soups and easy swallowed foods,,you,ll come right in the end,,:hugs:
macc noodle
14-02-11, 17:32
Could you take some high energy shake drinks do you think? If you could start taking those, then at least you would build yourself up a bit and it would help your body from going into starvation mode.
Mmmmm buffalo wings sound good :yesyes: and a big juicy burger
macc noodle
14-02-11, 17:33
Oops pressed send before I meant to - God it must have been the thought of the burger & fries!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, just wanted to say - keep fighting and keep trying - you will get there in the end.
:hugs:
dont worry about waffling on,,we all do it,,well hubby says i do,,hmmm anyway,,i once spent six weeks living on the odd mouthful of cuppa soups,,cups of tea and water,,it started when i was eating one day and my heart miss beat and i noticed it,,so the next time i ate,,i was on the look out for it,,and yup it happened,,course it did lol,, this kept happening everytime i tried eating anything,,so i didnt bother,,i managed to fool myself into drinking cuppa soups id watered down ,,i told myself they were drink not food,,my family were young at the time and the kids became worried so did my friends as i lost three stone in weight,,so in the end i forced tiny mouthfuls of thicker soups, mushed veg until i ate normally,,sometimes wished i hadnt cos i gained back twice as much weight lol,,but i do understand the whole food thing,,try soups and easy swallowed foods,,you,ll come right in the end,,:hugs:
thanks for sharing that teez, it's good to know I aint alone in this and that someone has managed to break the habit. I blooming hope i don't lose three stone, I am pretty muscular underneath some of the xmas over indulgence I managed before this nonsense took hold, and it took a long time to build up that muscle I'd be devestated to lose itand have to start again.... that's me just being vain though I guess
I've been trying to avoid this turning to soup and liquid type foods as it fuels the notion that something is wrong and encourages the avoidance of a normal diet so the cycle continues but at the same time i am hardly eating and need nurishment of some sort so I have a cuppa soup cooling down next to me as I type
Could you take some high energy shake drinks do you think? If you could start taking those, then at least you would build yourself up a bit and it would help your body from going into starvation mode.
Mmmmm buffalo wings sound good :yesyes: and a big juicy burger
oh my god buffalo wings if only i could face them... I have wasted so much money on food that I wanted to eat but in the end just couldn't face
I am familiar with protein shakes from my training and have already had a few during this period but they are just supposed to be supplementary to actual food intake rather than a replacement.... I never thought I'd involutarilty wind uop on the slim fast plan... it looks like I somewhat have lol
cheers again for your replies :)
I just wanted to share that I have thought about going to the emergency department MANY times. However, it is expensive in America and I'm very concerned about being embarrassed/wasting their time over nothing. I don't want all of that attention on me only to find out it was a panic attack! Also I think all of that special treatment of me would make me even more anxious.
Ella_Jayne
16-02-11, 14:32
that's great news Ell Jayne
glad to hear you're doing better... was there anything that helped you break the cycle?
:)
Well I did CBT which helped a bit and made me notice symptoms that would happen only when I was anxious or worried that I thought were happeneing out of the blue. The rest was down to acceptance really, I'm not 100% there yet probably 85% of the way but I'll get there. :)
I used to be petrified of being home alone as I thought my heart would just pack in and I'd be on my own, but now I'm home alone every day and I'm starting to like it again. I just started by being at home alone for a few mins then gradually built it up. I did that with a lot of things that I was scared to do since anxiety/panic.
Now I'm at a point where I can accept uncertainty. Nobody knows whats around the corner health wise and just in general. But I've done my best to make sure I'm fit and healthy and what will be will be. I'd rather enjoy life to the full than live in fear.
I had sooooo many horrible symptoms with anxiety, constant dizziness, heart racing and palps, head rushes, foggy vision, feeling like I wasn't 'real', headaches so bad that I could barely open my eyes and now that I've relaxed a bit they have more or less vanished!
It's VERY achieveable to overcome anxiety, I can see that now. At one point I thought I would be that way forever. That's far from reality though.
We'll all get there one day, I'm sure of it.
:)
Well I did CBT which helped a bit and made me notice symptoms that would happen only when I was anxious or worried that I thought were happeneing out of the blue. The rest was down to acceptance really, I'm not 100% there yet probably 85% of the way but I'll get there. :)
I used to be petrified of being home alone as I thought my heart would just pack in and I'd be on my own, but now I'm home alone every day and I'm starting to like it again. I just started by being at home alone for a few mins then gradually built it up. I did that with a lot of things that I was scared to do since anxiety/panic.
Now I'm at a point where I can accept uncertainty. Nobody knows whats around the corner health wise and just in general. But I've done my best to make sure I'm fit and healthy and what will be will be. I'd rather enjoy life to the full than live in fear.
I had sooooo many horrible symptoms with anxiety, constant dizziness, heart racing and palps, head rushes, foggy vision, feeling like I wasn't 'real', headaches so bad that I could barely open my eyes and now that I've relaxed a bit they have more or less vanished!
It's VERY achieveable to overcome anxiety, I can see that now. At one point I thought I would be that way forever. That's far from reality though.
We'll all get there one day, I'm sure of it.
glad you're making those positive steps one at a time
I made some moves today also, saw the GP and put the wheels in motion on a few things.... I am confident of getting over this nonsense, it just isn't going to happen overnight, one step at time to break this down and return to being an even better version of myself
I think it might be time to vertually call quits on alcohol, although it has helped me at times it has also hindered me... I don't think quiting entirely is the answer as thats avoidance in my world but limit it to a few pints on special occasions... my mates wont be happy, although one of them always wants me to go to the cinema and i always say no, so theres an alternative lol
Thumbelina
16-02-11, 15:46
Wow Ella Jane - thank you for v ery positive post - its great that you are feeling that way. I am also sure that we all get wwll at oir own time. Bit dont be scared if some set backs happen. Take care
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