Rhys1879SAFC
14-02-11, 10:47
Hey there, like many people out there this was probably the worst symptom of my anxiety, it truly is a horrible feeling, but thankfully the worst seems to be behind me and I'd just like to tell you how I got over it incase it manages to help everyone else.
I first started suffering from anxiety at the age of 16, I always remember having a migraine in early 2008. With migraines you often get a period before the headache where your vision becomes distorted. Anyway, needless to say I had it in my head that there was something wrong with my eyes and that I was going to go blind. This went on for months and it was completely taking over my life, being 16 I had GCSE exams to worry about aswell so it was quite a stressful time in my life.
I went to the Optrician three times in six months, each time I was told the same thing, that my eyes were fine. It was after the third time that I finally told myself "enough is enough." I started at College and all the distractions did me the world of good, my anxiety completely disappeared and so did the constant worrying about my health, I returned to normal, life was good. The Summer of 2009 was brilliant for me, I had a really good time and life was as good as it ever was, I really thought all my problems were in the past.
Things stayed good right up until January of this year, when anxiety struck again. This time though instead of worrying about my eyes I became convinced I had various forms of cancer, everytime I felt a little pain in a various part of my body I would immediately say to myself "thats cancer" and it made me feel so down and so depressed. All the worrying took its toll on my mind and a couple of weeks ago I first started suffering from derealisation.
For anyone who hasn't had this before, its like being in a dream, nothing around you seems to make sense and you just drift through life constantly feeling anxious, I was sure I was going insane. I kept asking myself "will I feel like this forever?" Ofcourse, having thoughts like this only made it worse. Doing things I normally enjoyed doing became a chore. It came to a head when I went to watch my beloved Sunderland AFC play at home against Newcastle, instead of enjoying the occasion I found myself completely detached from the match, worrying about silly things, and the whole thing passed in a blur.
I went to my mothers house that night and bawled my eyes out. She told me to have a word with my Dad because he went through what I was going through at my age (maybe he was abit older) and she wasn't completely sure if this anxiety might have been genetic.
I talked to my Dad, I asked him whether he had ever suffered from feeling "as if you were in a dream", he told me he had, and that my auntie had been bad with it aswell. He told me that it was all in my head, and that I had the key to make myself better, that I would discover it in time. He told me that derealisation was just a symptom of anxiety and that it would pass in time. That it is the result of my body trying to protect itself from the endless onslaught of worrying that was pounding away in my mind.
Everytime I felt my anxiety becoming too much I would sit myself down, and just think to myself "this is all temporary" whilst controlling my breathing. I really found that taking deep breaths in and out helped so much, because it helps to calm you down. I kept my mind occupied, and continued to think positive thoughts.
Within a couple of days I was feeling much better, the derealisation seems to have almost gone, but I'm not counting my chickens, I have an appointment booked in with a counsellor and I'm definitely going to attend. Its better to be safe than sorry. And although I know that anxiety could strike again at anytime in the future, it could be one year from now, it could be ten years from now, I know that when you beat it once you can beat it again.
Hope this helps people, things will definitely get better, never ever think that you're never going to get back to your normal self, because you won't if you think like that. Blank out the negative thoughts, keep yourself busy and try taking deep breaths, it will calm you down.
Rhys.
I first started suffering from anxiety at the age of 16, I always remember having a migraine in early 2008. With migraines you often get a period before the headache where your vision becomes distorted. Anyway, needless to say I had it in my head that there was something wrong with my eyes and that I was going to go blind. This went on for months and it was completely taking over my life, being 16 I had GCSE exams to worry about aswell so it was quite a stressful time in my life.
I went to the Optrician three times in six months, each time I was told the same thing, that my eyes were fine. It was after the third time that I finally told myself "enough is enough." I started at College and all the distractions did me the world of good, my anxiety completely disappeared and so did the constant worrying about my health, I returned to normal, life was good. The Summer of 2009 was brilliant for me, I had a really good time and life was as good as it ever was, I really thought all my problems were in the past.
Things stayed good right up until January of this year, when anxiety struck again. This time though instead of worrying about my eyes I became convinced I had various forms of cancer, everytime I felt a little pain in a various part of my body I would immediately say to myself "thats cancer" and it made me feel so down and so depressed. All the worrying took its toll on my mind and a couple of weeks ago I first started suffering from derealisation.
For anyone who hasn't had this before, its like being in a dream, nothing around you seems to make sense and you just drift through life constantly feeling anxious, I was sure I was going insane. I kept asking myself "will I feel like this forever?" Ofcourse, having thoughts like this only made it worse. Doing things I normally enjoyed doing became a chore. It came to a head when I went to watch my beloved Sunderland AFC play at home against Newcastle, instead of enjoying the occasion I found myself completely detached from the match, worrying about silly things, and the whole thing passed in a blur.
I went to my mothers house that night and bawled my eyes out. She told me to have a word with my Dad because he went through what I was going through at my age (maybe he was abit older) and she wasn't completely sure if this anxiety might have been genetic.
I talked to my Dad, I asked him whether he had ever suffered from feeling "as if you were in a dream", he told me he had, and that my auntie had been bad with it aswell. He told me that it was all in my head, and that I had the key to make myself better, that I would discover it in time. He told me that derealisation was just a symptom of anxiety and that it would pass in time. That it is the result of my body trying to protect itself from the endless onslaught of worrying that was pounding away in my mind.
Everytime I felt my anxiety becoming too much I would sit myself down, and just think to myself "this is all temporary" whilst controlling my breathing. I really found that taking deep breaths in and out helped so much, because it helps to calm you down. I kept my mind occupied, and continued to think positive thoughts.
Within a couple of days I was feeling much better, the derealisation seems to have almost gone, but I'm not counting my chickens, I have an appointment booked in with a counsellor and I'm definitely going to attend. Its better to be safe than sorry. And although I know that anxiety could strike again at anytime in the future, it could be one year from now, it could be ten years from now, I know that when you beat it once you can beat it again.
Hope this helps people, things will definitely get better, never ever think that you're never going to get back to your normal self, because you won't if you think like that. Blank out the negative thoughts, keep yourself busy and try taking deep breaths, it will calm you down.
Rhys.