Am I Being Selfish?

[mtatum4496]

Awhile back, a friend asked me if I wanted to go to an event that is happening this month. At the time, he was trying to get a head count of how many folks might like to go so he could order tickets. I told him at that time I didn't want to go, since the event has to do with something I'm not interested in.

Later on, I found out that the event is taking place in a venue that I didn't care for even before I developed my anxiety disorder - the seats are not comfortable for my larger frame, there's no leg room, and in general the theater area is not very comfortable in my opinion.

As it turns out, my friend went ahead and ordered two tickets for the event, figuring that he could get someone to go with him. So far, everybody has told him they are already busy or aren't interested in seeing the show.

He's now said he will go by himself, but I'm getting a little bit of a pushback, intimating that I should go and put up with it, out of loyalty.

Honestly, if the show were being held at an open air stadium or our city amphitheater, or even one of the other theaters in town where there is more leg room and larger seats, I might be willing to give it a shot, even though the chances of enjoying the show would be somewhere between slim and none. But I can't see any good reason to go to something I am not likely to enjoy when it is in an environment that I've never liked in the first place.

So what do you guys think? Am I being selfish? Should I suck it up and go anyway?

[sammi]

Hi,

You told your friend you didn't want to go so its not really your fault that your friend went and got two tickets anyway. I don't think your been selfish at all. I understand why you would feel you should go out of loyalty especially after he's got two tickets and says he will go alone but to be fare you made it clear you didn't want to go so don't feel selfish or guilty:) hope this helps a little x

[suzy-sue]

I dont think you have anything to feel bad about .If you dont want to go dont go .Its not like you just changed your mind .Your friend wouldnt enjoy it if you were having a boring / uncomfortable time ,anyway ..T/c Sue x

[gaaron]

You're def not being selfish....if your friend was expecting you to accompany him even tho' you'd declined, they're being selfish x

[JaneC]

M, have you explained why you don't want to go? I go to football (soccer) a lot and some of the grounds have no leg room in the stands. It really does ruin going there to the point where you end up avoiding them. So, no, you are not being selfish x

[mtatum4496]

Thanks, everybody. I'm feeling a little extra sensitive this week, so wasn't sure if I was making more of this than it really is.

Jane, I had actually turned down the invite before I ever knew where the event was taking place. At that time, I did say that I wasn't interested in going because I didn't think I would like the show.

Had I thought to ask then where it was taking place, I probably would have mentioned how uncomfortable I find the cramped seats and lack of leg room, along with not being interested in seeing the show.

Probably what made this more of a concern for me is that this particular friend has been ultra-supportive of my attempts to overcome the anxiety disorder, and on some level I felt like I was letting him down after he couldn't find anyone else to go with. Fortunately, it is all sorted out now, since he thought of someone else he had not asked and she said that she would like to go. So everything has turned out okay after all.