anyone have major anxiety about being alone???

[panicagain]

I DO!!!
here's my story,,, i separated from my husband a yr and a half ago(after 21yrs together) and the divorce is final now but i had a boyfriend since 3 months after we separated,,, weird thing is i KNEW me and my boyfriend weren't good together but i'm desperate to not be alone so thats why i stayed with him,,, i have a 6yr old but i'm talkin "adult" companionship.

So we just broke up last week and i know thats for the best but I desperately NEED him back just get rid of the loneliness,,, I Don't know what to do,,, he loves me and wants me to marry him but i know its not a good idea. Weird thing is i'm considering it just to keep from being alone. I can't bury myself in work, family or friends,,, i considered it but i have my daughter to take care of and i don't have hardly any friends,,, i think i have 2 that i can hang out with and the only family i have left is my mom:( i've been spending time with my daughter but this is ALWAYS on my mind and i'm so so sad to the point of not wanting to go to work or do anything... i've been told to snap out of it but I CAN'T,,, I TRIED,,,

anyone had a similar problem? anyone "AFRAID" to be alone? I Need to be able to function but haven't been able to much. :weep:

[macc noodle]

First off hon, well done for making the break because you knew the relationship was not good.

Now for the hard work but you can change and you must not be tempted to have him back just to assuage loneliness - a recipe for disaster as you well know!

You need to get out and about - you can make new friends and perhaps do some voluntary work during your daughter's school hours? There are loads of people in the same position as you and all it takes is a deep breath and a friendly smile and start chatting - what about the moms at the school gates ? do they look likely candidates for a coffee and chat? what about the school itself - do they have a parents association?

Is there any new hobby or skill you have always fancied trying - how feasible would it be to try something new out?

Do you have single parent groups in the USA - we have Gingerbread over here which is essentially a meeting point for similarly placed people.

I know it is really hard being alone (been there, done that and bought the t-shirt as they say!) but it really is much better than being in a toxic relationship which in the end makes you even lonelier than actually being alone.

You do actually sound a little depressed and perhaps a trip to the doc. to tell them how you feel might offer a solution to this or put you on the road to more positive thinking.

:hugs:

[panicagain]

First off hon, well done for making the break because you knew the relationship was not good.

Now for the hard work but you can change and you must not be tempted to have him back just to assuage loneliness - a recipe for disaster as you well know!

You need to get out and about - you can make new friends and perhaps do some voluntary work during your daughter's school hours? There are loads of people in the same position as you and all it takes is a deep breath and a friendly smile and start chatting - what about the moms at the school gates ? do they look likely candidates for a coffee and chat? what about the school itself - do they have a parents association?

Is there any new hobby or skill you have always fancied trying - how feasible would it be to try something new out?

Do you have single parent groups in the USA - we have Gingerbread over here which is essentially a meeting point for similarly placed people.

I know it is really hard being alone (been there, done that and bought the t-shirt as they say!) but it really is much better than being in a toxic relationship which in the end makes you even lonelier than actually being alone.

You do actually sound a little depressed and perhaps a trip to the doc. to tell them how you feel might offer a solution to this or put you on the road to more positive thinking.

:hugs:

thanks so much for the reply :)
you brought up several great ideas but the problem with them is most of them involve meeting people and i'm not so good with that. i'm very shy which is why i don't have many friends now. i'd love to do the things you've suggested i'm just afraid i can't.

you are right about me being depressed though cuz i know i am, i have an appointment to see a dr next month.

Right now i just feel like curling up in a ball and not getting up for nothing but i know i can't cuz i have my daughter and i love her more then anything and wont do that to her cuz if i wasn't there for her then her abusive dad would hafta take her and neither him or i want that :(

[jothenurse]

I am by myself. My son lives just a few miles away, so that does help. And I have family in town. I had my boyfriend move out more than a year ago. I was really looking forward to getting my house back to the way I like it. I knew this would be better, because he had lived with me for 4 years and never contributed financially. This was before my anxiety hit hard. Then, shortly after he left, I started having panic with tachycardia. My Mom also became ill (she passed away in August of 2010). My ex-boyfriend did stay over during my bad anxiety, but now it's been a few months that we talk once in awhile, but he rarely stops by. I have a huge problem being by myself, but my counselor is helping me with that. He is trying to show me that I can be by myself and be just fine. He doesn't want me finding guy just so I won't be by myself. I agree with this, but it is so very hard when you are anxious, living by yourself, and dealing with the panicky feelings and tachycardia and all the other anxiety symptoms. I do work, which does help, but that causes me anxiety also because I have a stressful job, and I have to make myself go to it, but I know that is better than sitting home. Now I have a bad virus, and have had to call in at work, so am having a difficult time being by myself and having a virus and trying not to panic about it.