jduh
16-02-11, 13:58
So i made myself drive the 40minute drive to Cambridge today to hand my library book in. I used one of my behaviour charts from previous CBT to challenge my thinking around this.
I felt anxious and mild panicy periodically throughout the drive. I kept worrying i would have a full blown panic and not be able to drive back home and would then be stuck in Cambridge.
Each time i felt like this i checked my breathing and told myself it was just adrenaline and i was fine which seemed to quiet my thoughts for a little while but then it would start up again and i'd have to go through the same process all over again.
I managed to get to the library and handed in my book then left.
Upon returning home i finished my behaviour chart to document what happened and thought i would be pleased with myself.
However now i just feel really tired and drained and the idea of having to do it again just makes me want to cry. I just want to stay in and not have to go out and face this anymore.
I know thats silly because it takes small steps to get better, i just wish even the small steps weren't so tiring and hard!
I felt anxious and mild panicy periodically throughout the drive. I kept worrying i would have a full blown panic and not be able to drive back home and would then be stuck in Cambridge.
Each time i felt like this i checked my breathing and told myself it was just adrenaline and i was fine which seemed to quiet my thoughts for a little while but then it would start up again and i'd have to go through the same process all over again.
I managed to get to the library and handed in my book then left.
Upon returning home i finished my behaviour chart to document what happened and thought i would be pleased with myself.
However now i just feel really tired and drained and the idea of having to do it again just makes me want to cry. I just want to stay in and not have to go out and face this anymore.
I know thats silly because it takes small steps to get better, i just wish even the small steps weren't so tiring and hard!