Maura Brosnan
01-04-06, 18:45
Hi there everyone,
Only found this website last night and am hooked since! It's such a relief to be able to chat to so many other kindred spirits. Much congrats to all involved in the making of this website....it really is such a help and inspiration to all us sufferers.
If ye don't mind I'd like to share my story with ye.....would greatly appreciate any feedbackl, advice etc.
My first panic attack occured last September (after a period of stress...moved house 38miles away and had met my birth mother for the first time) while driving my kids to school. I think like most of us here, I had no idea what this powerful whirlwind was that was taking over my body....I don't think I was ever so scared in all my life. I pulled the car in, called a neighbour who looked after my baby and brought me to the gp. He told me I'd just had a panic attack, was fine, go home and rest. I wouldn't believe him and demanded a referral letter to admit me to hospital as the pain in my head was excruiating! Anyway, went home rang hubby who came home immediately, then en route to hospital had another much more severe attack. Was sure this time it was a stroke and made hubby call an ambulance. By the time it arrived much of the panic had subsided, God I was so confused! What was going on?? Five days in hospital, sent home with an armload of antidepressants and was told that would sort me out...not realising that was only the beginning! 2 more massive attacks on the way home, one in the shopping centre and one in the car. I soon realised my triggers were supermarkets, cars, traffic jams, queues etc. After 5 weeks on the meds, I was worse and still off work and getting desperate. I was constantly afraid of the next attack and did everything in my power to avoid it. Eventually in November I met a very good CBT specialist who helped me to face my fears, got me back driving and shopping, socialising again and for while things improved immensely. 3 weeks passed and I didn't get an attack then wham had 3 massive ones in one day while xmas shopping with my husband. I soon realised that I'd never really gotten rid of the fear...as we all know until the fear goes, the panic will always lurk. By this time I had finished CBT and thought I had enough knowledge to beat it on my own. I was doing okay for a number of weeks, kept encouraging the attacks to come and they wouldn't so the fear of them was lessening all the time and luckily I havn't had an attack since. But what remains now I'm finding is much worse. Constant anxiety....24/7 it's with me every waking moment I'm worrying...constantly monitoring myself and in recent weeks the physical sensations are unbearable. I feel like I'm constantly about to faint, my heart never stops pounding, my throat feels constantly constricted and I feel afraid all the time. I dread being alone with my children, dread all social events , but worst of all the dreaded fear of driving and shopping especially in malls has all come back with a vegeance. Did some practice driving and shopping just today and it was a disaster, constantly felt like I was going to faint at the wheel and the shops were unbearable. Even though my mum and daughter were with me...it didn't help at all. My legs were like jelly, my heart pounded, my throat almost closed but the worst was the fainting sensation...even though I've never fainted and I know deep down I probably never will but it's so so scary. I'm feeling very down as I write this because prior to this nightmare beginning my life was so full, normal and happy and I'm wondering will I ever get it back..It's been 7 months now since all this started....is this a long time to be still no better? I'm starting CBT again on Wed am so hoping this time it will work better. I've tried meds, prozac, xanax and natural remedies like rescue remedy but nothing has helped.
Apologies for such a long post...and thanks in advance to those who take the time to read it and maybe even reply. I'd appreciate any comments, advice that anyone could offer.
Thanks again
Only found this website last night and am hooked since! It's such a relief to be able to chat to so many other kindred spirits. Much congrats to all involved in the making of this website....it really is such a help and inspiration to all us sufferers.
If ye don't mind I'd like to share my story with ye.....would greatly appreciate any feedbackl, advice etc.
My first panic attack occured last September (after a period of stress...moved house 38miles away and had met my birth mother for the first time) while driving my kids to school. I think like most of us here, I had no idea what this powerful whirlwind was that was taking over my body....I don't think I was ever so scared in all my life. I pulled the car in, called a neighbour who looked after my baby and brought me to the gp. He told me I'd just had a panic attack, was fine, go home and rest. I wouldn't believe him and demanded a referral letter to admit me to hospital as the pain in my head was excruiating! Anyway, went home rang hubby who came home immediately, then en route to hospital had another much more severe attack. Was sure this time it was a stroke and made hubby call an ambulance. By the time it arrived much of the panic had subsided, God I was so confused! What was going on?? Five days in hospital, sent home with an armload of antidepressants and was told that would sort me out...not realising that was only the beginning! 2 more massive attacks on the way home, one in the shopping centre and one in the car. I soon realised my triggers were supermarkets, cars, traffic jams, queues etc. After 5 weeks on the meds, I was worse and still off work and getting desperate. I was constantly afraid of the next attack and did everything in my power to avoid it. Eventually in November I met a very good CBT specialist who helped me to face my fears, got me back driving and shopping, socialising again and for while things improved immensely. 3 weeks passed and I didn't get an attack then wham had 3 massive ones in one day while xmas shopping with my husband. I soon realised that I'd never really gotten rid of the fear...as we all know until the fear goes, the panic will always lurk. By this time I had finished CBT and thought I had enough knowledge to beat it on my own. I was doing okay for a number of weeks, kept encouraging the attacks to come and they wouldn't so the fear of them was lessening all the time and luckily I havn't had an attack since. But what remains now I'm finding is much worse. Constant anxiety....24/7 it's with me every waking moment I'm worrying...constantly monitoring myself and in recent weeks the physical sensations are unbearable. I feel like I'm constantly about to faint, my heart never stops pounding, my throat feels constantly constricted and I feel afraid all the time. I dread being alone with my children, dread all social events , but worst of all the dreaded fear of driving and shopping especially in malls has all come back with a vegeance. Did some practice driving and shopping just today and it was a disaster, constantly felt like I was going to faint at the wheel and the shops were unbearable. Even though my mum and daughter were with me...it didn't help at all. My legs were like jelly, my heart pounded, my throat almost closed but the worst was the fainting sensation...even though I've never fainted and I know deep down I probably never will but it's so so scary. I'm feeling very down as I write this because prior to this nightmare beginning my life was so full, normal and happy and I'm wondering will I ever get it back..It's been 7 months now since all this started....is this a long time to be still no better? I'm starting CBT again on Wed am so hoping this time it will work better. I've tried meds, prozac, xanax and natural remedies like rescue remedy but nothing has helped.
Apologies for such a long post...and thanks in advance to those who take the time to read it and maybe even reply. I'd appreciate any comments, advice that anyone could offer.
Thanks again