Bit of a realisation

[westofengland]

Hi
I've not been on here for a while as I've slowly come to realise what therapists have told me. A lot of Health Anxiety isn't really about health.

My obsessions - skin cancer, other forms of cancer, HIV, asbestos poisoning - really sprung up to stop me dealing with a lot of other big issues in my life. They've been distractions to distract me from the stress i am under being a widower, my guilt about some of the times I lost my temper with my late wife, my addictions, the crap way I treated my last girlfriend before she quite rightly dumped me, and so on.

Really, really really feeling the grief of this stuff has allowed me to get some perspective on my health anxiety. I'm just an anxious person generally and it's the anxiety that's the issue.

Just a thought. I wonder how many other people continue to obsess about health stuff (despite being told they're fine) because it distracts them other painful stuff in their lives. And their unmet social needs, loneliness, etc. That's why all the reassurance seeking - whether here or at the GPs - is self defeating. But obviously thats' not to say we should never go for check ups :)

[paula lynne]

Thanks for sharing. I think there are a few people here who do exactly that, focus on HA, not on the major issues in their lives. Im glad that you have made the connection and hope this helps you on the way to recovery. Best wishes, P x

[cassie1975]

What a eye opening post !! I can totally relate to this I work from home dont get enough adult company, have low self esteem and wrestle with my weight issue constantly x x I am currently dealing with my weight issue, its easier if i deal with one thing at a time !! I dont worry about My health as much as i did (taking citalopram) but do overly worry about my husband think i have just switched to him !!

[Zee]

I can relate to that too. My counsellor also told me the same thing.

11 years ago with my first ever HA issue I had been going through some stressful situations. I resolved those issues and HA went away for 11 years !.. Then, after 6 years of family losses, other stress situations HA came back with a vengeance a year ago. This time more heightened and with depression. Trying so hard to work through it.

[itoldyouiwasill]

Yep, once we have the insight that health anxiety is actually nothing to do with worrying about our health we can start to make big strides in breaking through.

The bottom line is that how we feel about our health is a choice that we make when we wake every morning and then make as we function throughout the day...if our choice is tainted by doubt, fear and obsession then there is a good reason for us making that choice and as sure as eggs are eggs it is nothing to do with our health...it is very often a huge big elephant sitting in the middle of the room that we are trying to avoid and what a better way than feeling we are worrying for our very survival eh?

Glad to see you have had the insight and I can guarantee you that you are on the right tracks towards recovery.

[Mogwog]

Thanks for this post. My health worries mask my problems I think. Like most of us once one health worry is over i move straight onto another one, suppose its my way of "coping" (or not!) with everyhting else. Its like I HAVE to have something to worry about.

I will try and remeber all of this when I get bad.

L.x

[rosi]

I've always had HA and a lot of it springs from my childhood and my grandparents being the main parental figures so I grew up knowing that when they died my life would change and most of my secutiry would be lost. Couple that with a father who just didn't care about me and I have huge self esteem issues.

I am now a single parent. I have an autistic son who I am the carer for. I am isolated and spent most of my days alone. I could sometimes cry because of the loneliness. I have good friends and hobbies but they can't always take the place of real adult company. Everyone thinks I'm witty and sparkly and a real live wire which is sad really because they think I don't need help. When I was briefly on anti-d's they just could not believe it as I'm so bubbly in real life.

I have also noticed that I need to have something to worry about. I think I look out for HA worries so I can be unhappy. I really don't think I deserve to be happy. My current fear is BC so I leap from sympthom to sympthom. Some of the fear is very real but a lot of it is me working myself up for some deep, sadistic reason I can't quite control.

[b4eve]

Having suffered with health anxiety on and off for years I had recently transferred my anxieties over to worrying about my children's health. It's struck me within the last few weeks that when they're showing evidence of emotional distress (highly strung 8 year-old, autistic 5 year-old), the imaginary physical threat anxiety swings into overdrive. It's almost as if I want to acknowledge the fact that there is grounds for concern but without trying to address the real problem

[tinycritter]

I'm not the only one then :blush:

For me, whenever a big opportunity presents itself or I have an important decision to make, my HA takes a nosedive and there I am, sweating and shaking and panicking about my health again. Also, on the rare occasions when I've been to the doctor about physical symptoms and I've been told I'm fine, I almost instantly find a new one to worry about. It's as if I can't cope with the idea that I'm OK. :huh:

Great post, westofengland!

[jothenurse]

I think I have this but in a little different way in regards to relationships. I have had several unhealthy relationships. Because I am a nurse, I think I have that nuturing need. But, I noticed that in some of my past relationships that it seems like I try to "help" them out with their problems. I think this allows me to focus on someone else's problems instead of my own. Maybe not quite the same thing, but something similar. I also have HA.

[Need2Live]

Thanks for sharing. I think there are a few people here who do exactly that, focus on HA, not on the major issues in their lives. Im glad that you have made the connection and hope this helps you on the way to recovery. Best wishes, P x

Hi, I understand this because it makes sense that my HA started recently after I stopped working, was home alone a lot during the day with nothing to do, never exercised, ate much junk, etc. First it started off with worrying about money because I had stopped working. Then it moved over to health whenever I went through a couple of things. So, I can see how there is a BIGGER picture and HA is just something that is focused on. However, here's my obstacle...

I tell myself that my fears are irrational, unwarranted, ridiculous, etc. But as I'm telling myself that, another part of me is thinking "but what if there IS something wrong..."

I can recognize my fears are far fetched but still I fight that voice that says but there actually IS something wrong. Very depressing :(

[hypochondriac]

I can say i am genuinely anxious about health matters, but i think a lot of the time it's becuase i am interested in matters regarding health and then i look them up and then i wonder if i have them too.

Although i do recall feeling 'ill' when i had other things goign on in life
Thanks for the interesting post
x