Hello ! Looking to make contact with someone else..

[WorryBird]

Hello,

I have recently been diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder. I was interested in chatting to anyone else who has it.

I'm 41 and live on outskirts of London. I currently have three small children, and basically I worry way, way too much about everything !

I do feel very isolated. Always have done since a child. My parents had me when they were old and they were also very old-fashioned and unfortunately not very kind. :weep: I was bullied at school, because I stood out. ( I spoke and dressed like a time traveller from 1950 in the 1970's ! )

I met my lovely husband. We had our first child BUT in the seven years following that I had to deal with:

My dad dying, Husband diagnosed with rare disease like Mutiple Sclerosis when first child 5 months old, Moving to new area, lack of friends, Mother-in-Law hospitalised then died, Miscarriage Birth of twins, falling out with sister in law as she would not help with Twins. Marriage almost breaking up-seeing Relate. No support from My Mother or any family at all through all this.

All though this I have had terrible manic days when just surviving the day seems hard. My GP diagnosed Post Natal Depression but it changed to Anxiety disorder when we realised even on a 'easy' or 'good' day I could not stop worrying, or relax or be happy at all.

I keep thinking back to some impossible days I had when trying to care for two twin babies and a three year old by myself, alone all day. I could not do it all, pulled in three directions. The terrible noise of two babies crying and not being able to sort it out. :scared15: argggggg ! No one seemed to understand.

Sorry this is long: It all seems to be pouring out of me !

Anyone else interested in contacting me; if you have had any even VAGUELY similar anxiety problems I'd like to hear from you.
Even if you have nothing in common, I'd like to hear how you are now, whats your story ?

Thanks for reading :)

[nomorepanic]

Hi WorryBird

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[WorryBird]

Hi,
Thanks for that welcome, glad I found this website !
I thought that i was the only one person who was anxious all the time.

[lynn1960]

i am suffered with gad for a while but you will get good days bad days sometimes a good hour here and there the good days will start to get more and less bad days it will get better i am the proof of that i used to think i would never get better but i am now back to work and enjoying life again

[WorryBird]

Hi Lynn, thanks for replying !

I've only just been diagnosed so it is interesting what you say about getting better. Because, looking back I think i've always been anxious. At the moment I cant imagine 'it' getting better or getting more control. :unsure:

I have just been put on citalopram, but that is making me worried. Do I take it forever or how do you get off drugs once you are used to them ??

Have you had Anxiety a long time ? I really want to fight back some how. I want to have a happy day, because I feel I haven't for ages.

Anyone else got any views on anti-depressants, or getting over anxiety ??

[midgey]

Hi Worrybird,
Welcome to NMP. I joined in December and have found it very useful to chat to people that have similar experiences as me.
I have been told I have anxiety by the GP, but by doing lots of research on here, I know I have agoraphobia.
I am currently on medication, after resisting it for 3 years, and am feeling a lot better. I also have had CBT and counselling. I know medication isn't always the answer, but I feel it has helped me get on the first step of the ladder in recovery so to speak.
I have 3 children as well, and live on the outskirts of London. I also had a twin pregnancy, but miscarried one of them at 13 weeks.
I also, had a major falling out with my sister inlaw, which caused a major fallout with my husbands family, and we didn't speak for nearly 6 years.
I didnt have any depression after having my children, mine all came on when I became ill a few years ago, so I do have an element of health anxiety thrown in there too !!
I do manage to get to work...only part time but Ive reduced my hours as I wasn't coping with the hours I was doing.
My children are older now, but I still have days where I get annoyed if they want to talk to me....I just feel my head can't take any more...I become quite self obsessed, and just want to be alone in my thoughts.
I would definitely say that I am much more approachable since I started facing my fears and stop avoiding things, although I think that medication has helped with that too.
Keep in touch and let us know a bit more about yourself,

[WorryBird]

Hi Michelle , thank you very much for taking time to reply to me.:)

I really appreciate it. I realise I have fele very alone and isolated with all my anxiety because I thought I was so alone.
I've got to hurry off and collect two of my three kids from pre-school, but I would like to chat to you more sometime especially as you are also a mum.

I am very lucky that I have not suffered agrophobia, but I have trembling, tummy flipping over, worrying all day long about some tiny, tiny issue which is non-existant, and worry at night stopping me sleep.
I also get panic over how I control my kids or get everything done, which should have got better as they have got older and easier.
My life looking after them has got less pressured but I cant seem to get the benfit. Its like I'm stuck on panic-manic- rush- newborn babies stage even when live had moved on from that.

I'm like a machine stuck on full speed, I haven't adjusted.:wacko:

But motherhood is hard. Meeting loads of people, lots of worries, and cares, am I fair, too strict, not strict enough, I dont know ??
I feel so responsible for the lives of my children and doing the right thing..... what ever that is??

thanks again,:)
worrybird

[midgey]

Hi,
I know u've got to go to pick up ur children, but thought I'd reply now, and you can see it later.
I really thought I had GAD...until I registered on here and read the description of agoraphobia. I was scared to be in social situations. Being in shops, and sometimes even being outside made me panic, have palpitations, feel sick, dizzy, etc etc......
You were asking about medication.....I'm a nurse (currently a health visitor) so having seen some awful things in my time on the wards, I became scared of everything, including the side effects of medication.....it was irrational, but i thought I would die from allergic reactions if I took anything. I really did try everything before starting meds.....but as I said, I came to the conclusion that if I didn't do aomething I really would go mad.
The meds have been ok....some side effects, but in the last couple of weeks i am beginning to realise that things are a little easier....I'm less panicky when I do things, and work has become a little easier.
I think we all try to be the best mother we can, but I often feel my best isn't good enough. I often resent being a mother....it's the best thing I've ever done, but sometimes it feels like the worst. I love my children more than life itself, but sometimes I feel like I don't have any time for me, and I can take it out on them.
Try and be kind to yourself...I am sure you are a great mum.....just sometimes we don't see it ourselves.
Keep intouch, and ask me anything you want...I'm happy to be as honest as I can,

[JaneC]

Hello WorryBird, my mind is whirling reading just your posts :hugs:

You're right motherhood is hard and I used to worry all the time about getting everything done, and about doing the right thing, and was always on the go like being on a hamster wheel. We seem to have survived though, and my kids, now teenagers, are actually pretty awesome people lol, but it hasn't been easy.

People think having twins is so lovely but my sister-in-law only coped with hers (she already had two kids) because her mother was there all day every day to help. I ended up with three myself by the time my oldest was three and a half and boy was life hard. I had PND after each of them and when they were little also ended up on betablockers and IBS medication because of the stress.

My husband was diagnosed with MS when my youngest was three and I also had the older parents and bullying at school thing.

I never took this advice when my children were small, but you really do need to try to find some time to ease up and relax, even if it's just to have a bath with some lavender oil in it a couple of times a week when they're in bed. Do you have friends? Having small children is actually a great opportunity on that front and having someone to talk to,maybe go to some sort of play centre and have a coffee while the kids play was very helpful for me.

See if the meds help (I've been on ADs long-term and I'd say they've literally saved my live at times), but you need to make changes to the way you think about things too, perhaps with the help of some kind therapy such as CBT if need be. And don't worry at the moment about when you get to the stage of stopping the cit. Some people don't have probs at all, others just need to cut down slowly.

Feel like I'm trying to say to much too you all at once, sorry. Stick around NMP and keep posting - the site is invaluable when you need support xxx

[hetup]

hi i have just joined my husband says i worry about having nothing to worry about sometimes i feel im going mad i think i just need someone to talk to that feels the same . i worry bout mam and dad dying my kids getting hurt. iam i going nuts

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya and welcome to NMP I hope you find the help and advice here and maybe make a few friends in the process

:welcome: