View Full Version : Extremely anxious for next week and need HELP !
Hi Everyone,
I am so nervous and anxious I can hardly breath. I have to face a huge nemesis next week and I know that this challenge will either make me or break me.
I have to attend a training course for 5 days starting next Wednesday (5.4.05) and finishing the following Tuesday. It's an Adoption Training Course for myself and my husband. We both have to attend. If we don't complete the full course then we have to wait until our names are put on the next training session, which could be months away.
I am so anxious I could scream. It's only Sunday morning and I awoke at 3.00 a.m. this morning with the usual churning stomach, the rushing to the toilet. I am so sick and tired of this cycle of fear. I know that it's fear that I am frightened of. The feeling of being frightened on this course, so frightened that I have to leave during the day to rush home.
I find it really hard at the moment to be away from home for long periods and this course is from 9.30 a.m. - 4.30 p.m. I just don't know how I am going to manage. I know my husband will be with me and he knows that I am going to be extremely nervous and anxious and I think he is expecting me to have a panic attack either en route to the venue or whilst I am there. The trouble is, a lot is riding on us finishing this course and I feel so much pressure to not be ill and not to let the fear take over during the day.
The thing is with me, I cannot sit still for long periods of time doing nothing because that is when my thoughts take over. They rise and rise like Lego blocks until eventually they have to fall over and that's total panic for me. I need to remain active, I need something to do, and if I'm just sitting in this course just listening to someone talk, I find it so hard to concentrate on what they are saying because my mind wanders so much.
Avoidance in this situation is totally out of the question. I cannot cancel or not go. Part of me doesn't want to do that because then my fear and panic have won again. I feel that I should test myself with this, just to see how much I can actuallly do.
I have spoken to my GP about this and I have told him that I know that my Diazepam will be making an appearance on every single day of this course and he was fine with this but he doesn't want me to become reliant on these pills.
The sense of achievement that I will feel when and if I finish this course will be tremendous. I think I'll need to sleep for the rest of the week just through pure nervous exhaustion !
I really really want to do this but it's just so hard. I'm predicting what will happen and feeling every single symptom of my panic even before anything has happened.
I know that I need to stay focused and I need to concentrate and not make a total fool of myself. Anyone got any further suggestions. I really am open to anything.
I have just finished reading Claire Weekes Book Self Help for your Nerves and I have taken some of her suggestions on board, but the churning of the stomach and the running to the loo are still two major things that I have to conquer.
PLEASE HELP ANYONE. I CAN'T STOP CRYING.
If the opportunity doesn't knock .... build a door.
hey you
you have been doing so well. dont leave the house next week without your claire weekes book, i am so glad you have it, it will be such a help when you are there
dont put pressure on yourself. you know what you have to do and hope fully you will achieve it this time around. but please remember these things cannot be rushed. take the tablet if you feel you must. what ever it takes to make you feel less afraid for now.
the churning stomach remains because it is that that you are most afraid of. try to use the claire weekes book to become lessa fraid of it. again no pressure and no deadline, recovery doesnt work that way
yuo will do it and you know you are not alone. you have good family and friends and you have us. just remember you are not alone in your illness and you never will be
were routing you on and well be here every day when you return home if you need us
take care
jackie
You are doing what I do too and imagining a picture of yourself panicking and predicting the worst.
We both have to stop this terrible habit and replace it with pictures of you laughing and being interested and most of all coping!!!!
You will have hubby with you so that's brilliant.
You can do this and inside you really want to so don't let your head sabotage it for you. Your mind can't tell the difference between real and not real so it will react to the pictures and thoughts you are putting there. I know its hard but don't put the bad pictures there in the first place.
'Its only a thought and a thought can be changed'
Love Piglet xx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
a-little-room-to-breathe
02-04-06, 11:44
hey hun!
i know its hard, but when you're there, try to concentrate on what the speaker is saying, or just tell yourself 'its ok, i can do this, this is not a problem'. these high-pressure situations are awful when you have anxiety and panic attacks, but if you try not to let yourself panic, and dont put too much pressure on yourself to not panic, you'll be fine. tell yourself that even if you do panic, it is nothing to be ashamed of, and you can always excuse yourself and go to the bathroom to calm down or whatever you need.
hope that helped a bit.
love katie xxx
"If I can wipe from any human cheek, a tear,
Convince one man that hope and heaven are near,
Create more joy, more hope, less pain,
And though not one shall know my name nor drop a flower on my grave,
I shall not have lived in vain while here."
Thanks everyone for your kind words. I don't know where I would be without this website.
I know that I am totally afraid of the churning feeling in my stomach. As soon as I feel it happening I just think "Oh no, here it comes", and that starts the cycle of panic. I am trying to do what Claire Weekes has suggested and just accept it for what it is, just a physical reaction, my nerve endings are just releasing adrenalin and my body is reacting to it. If I can just ignore it and carry on, it will eventually go away because I will not be so aware of it. It's easier said than done though isn't it. I've lived with this feeling for so long.
Confidence is also a huge issue for me .... as in I have none ! I'm also my own owrst enemy because I am a fanatical 'people watcher' and I often say to myself "I wonder if they are worried about anything and their stomach is doing somersaults like a washing machine"? They probably are. The course tutors on this course next week might be dreading it for all I know. They might have had the same weekend as I am having, worried about if the course will be okay. I know that once I get that first day over, I will be fine. Firsts of anything always make me so nervous and agitated.
I might take along some mints or sweets to chew as I go through the day. At least then I'll have something to occupy my thoughts!
I will catch up with you after every day of my course to let you know how I got on. I need all of the encouragement that I can get at the moment.
Thanks once again and I'll speak soon.
Best wishes and hugs to you all.
If the opportunity doesn't knock .... build a door.
Maura Brosnan
02-04-06, 14:31
hi there mrs cluggy,
You poor devil, can't imagine how worried you must be seeing as this such an important event. You can do this you really can. I spend every sunday dreading the week coming and of course it makes things even worse. A few tips maybe:
Bring your book on the way in the morning and read it to reassure you and distract you.
Keep remembering what the outcome of this great week will mean...a beautiful babs for you and hubby!
Keep a bottle of water and chewing gum with you all the time.
As soon as you feel the panic rising, tell it to become worse and worse and I bet you it won't because your taking the control away from it.
If that doesn't work put your valium straight under your tongue and let it disolve...it hits you blood stream and works straight away.
Log on here every night and tell us how each day went...I bet you'll surprise yourself because the day will have turned out alot better than you thought!
The very best of luck to you...take good care and keep us posted.
hey there,
lots of luck this week! i am sorry that this course has come at such an inopportune time for you, but i am sure that you will make it...you have a lot of support, and you have the freedom to do just as much as you are able to do! i like to picture a rushing river and then i let the panic or fear thoughts enter the river and rush away from me, without judgment on yourself or thoughts or feelings...
take care, hope you can get some good relaxing in this evening!!
kelly
Nigel, are you small enough to fit into my pocket so that I can take you with me?!?!:D:D:D
What you have said really does make total and utter sense. I have been rehearsing the events on this course, down to what I am going to say to people, how I'm going to sit and compose myself. I'm trying to use my husband as an example. He is full of confidence, isn't bothered by this course for one moment, has no butterflies in his stomach. Quite annoying really!!! But you are right, I have absolutely no idea what this course is going to be like and who the people are.
Heaven forbid I should enjoy myself !!
I never have thoughts like: what's going to happen if I have a nice time, what if the course tutors really like me and we have a right laugh, how will I cope being so popular !!!!!
I like those thoughts. I need to train my brain to turn it's "what if" switch off, or to at least answer itself with "so what".
So what if I'm nervous, I bet I'm not the only one.
So what if I feel slightly anxious at having to do a task, I bet the other people are too.
It really is not big deal is it. I am slowly coming to realise that now.
I know alcohol is not the answer, but they are treating us to a pub lunch every day, so I can imagine myself being a bit more talkative and relaxed during the afternoon sessions !!!!
I also know that once this course is over and I have completed it successfully, I will think about going back to work, perhaps part time. At the moment I am a housewife, but my son is at school full time now, so getting used to being out of the house for 7+ hours a day may just be the tonic/confidence booster I need to get me back on track.
I will definitely let you know how I got on.
Thank you once again for your lovely message. I will definitely take your words with me.
[8D]
If the opportunity doesn't knock .... build a door.
Hi Mrs Cluggy
Well done for being so much more positive in your last post ... what Nigel has said on many points makes total sense particularly about making small towers ... face each part of the day as a separate thing to get through ... once you have succeeded in getting through one part ok give yourself a small pat on the back and say how well you've done to get through it and that it wasn't that bad after all ... then move on to the next part with a positive mind and you'll soon see how quick the day will go
You said that you like to be busy and might find it hard to concentrate on the speaker for long periods of time ... i suggest you take paper and pen and make notes so that your hands are busy along with your mind
I recently went on a training course with 1000 other people ... my stomach was churning and i really didn't want to be there but once the day got under way i realised that i was having a good time and when it ended i wished it had been longer
Good luck and let us know how you get on
May
The brightest, sunniest day may follow the darkest, stormiest night ... enjoy the sun
Hi Mrs Cluggy,
I too went on a course recently and was dreading it. My stomach was knotted most of the time, but y'know, it didn't actually make any difference to how I performed and what I learned. It was just a feeling, same as if I'd had a bit of a headache or a bruised knee. To be fair, I think the others also felt nervous and there were parts that involved role-playing - something which I don't like at the best of times, so would have been anxious anyway! The motivation was that I really wanted the qualification and I also wanted to test myself.
I distinctly remember that on the afternoon of Day 2, I sat there doing another role-play thinking "I'm doing this and I am actually enjoying it now - yay!". I did it, I got the qualification and I'm looking to do another course soon!
Go for it girl, you'll be fine!
Eeb x
bluesparkle
03-04-06, 12:15
hi
you are managing to change your thoughts already...well done you :D
next week will be fine.. i know thats easy for me to say.. but meetings and such like were one of my most hated situations but i have recently started work and had to attend a few training sessions... i kept the thought in my mind of why i was there and how much i wanted the job at the end of it... so keep focused on why you are there...
also take one day at a time... once you have done one day imagine how good you will feel and that will ease the anxiety for the next day...
i know this is a daft thing to say but as i got better i got to the stage where i would feel the anxiety and panic starting and i would say "ok... i AM going to do this... with or without panic ... so you either hang around or you leave me alone"
i know this is not much help but will be sending posative vibes your way all next week...and look forward to reading how it is going
you will achieve this
take care
rach
x
Hi Mrs Cluggy (love your name lol!!)
this thread has turned into such a positive one it deserves to go on the success board before you even get to the course - think what you will be saying here next weekend:D:D:D:D
It's a bit of that excitement/anxiety confusion thing isn't it - actually this is an incredibly exciting thing for you to be doing and I bet you have waited ages!!!
Listening to your second posts I can easily visualise you having a really good time and meeting some really nice and intersting people and the whole thing becoming a really positive experience![8D]
I think we could all do with a pocket Nigel [:I] - what a way with words!!! The small towers is an excellent concept... the first one being just to go - just think how proud you will feel that you get there, then you can build positive towers... I got here, I got to lunch time, I spoke to people... and congratulate yourself all the way!!
I'm looking forward to hearing all about it and we will all be thinking proud thoughts!!
Loads of love xxxxxxxxxxxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
HI, I used to be a foster carer and had to attend alot of courses.
The social worker who was doing it told me she used to suffer terrible panic attacks after she had post natal depression, she had also worked in mental health and was great at putting me at ease.
Any person going to an adoption course will be nervous, it shows how important it is to you so please dont worry , they will talk about so many things your mind will be too busy to panic.
mirryx
Hi
Just wanted to say that once you are there you could end up concentrating on the course and not yourself. I know that I have done that, it was just the other day and we had to go on a Team Building day out of the office. I started to feel really strange and worried that I may collapse/freak out etc and then everyone around me would think that I was strange and a lunatic and what the hell was wrong with me. So I started off feeling anxious and not really there but as soon as the day got going I forgot all about it and the constant thinking about whats wrong with me was all forgotten and taken up with what we were doing.
Hope this helps because you will prpbably find that you are interested in learning on the course and you will get engrossed in that and hopefully forget some of your symptons.
Hope this Helps.
Hi
Just wanted to say that once you are there you could end up concentrating on the course and not yourself. I know that I have done that, it was just the other day and we had to go on a Team Building day out of the office. I started to feel really strange and worried that I may collapse/freak out etc and then everyone around me would think that I was strange and a lunatic and what the hell was wrong with me. So I started off feeling anxious and not really there but as soon as the day got going I forgot all about it and the constant thinking about whats wrong with me was all forgotten and taken up with what we were doing.
Hope this helps because you will prpbably find that you are interested in learning on the course and you will get engrossed in that and hopefully forget some of your symptons.
Hope this Helps.
HI EVERYONE,
I DIT IT, IT DID IT, I DID IT, I DID IT, I DID IT, I DID IT, I DID IT !!!!!!
I FEEL ABSOLUTELY WOOONNNDDEERRFULLLL !!!!!!!! HA HA !!!!!!!
Guys, I cannot tell you just how happy, euphoric, ecstatic I am.
Honestly, the first day of my adoption course was a bit nerve racking and I did think that some negative force was working against me because everything I hate that makes me panic such as being stuck in traffic, having to wait lengthy amounts of time for things to happen all fell into my lap on the very first morning. I was stressed enough but then just as we were about to leave to drop my son off to school and then go to the course, my neighbour came knocking on the door, very sick asking me if I would take her son to school for the rest of the week ! I just took a deep breath, made sure my neighbour was okay before we left, then just took it in my stride.
On the way to the course, we were held up by broken down buses, lorries that were turning right and we had to wait an absolute age to get past them .... I real felt like my nerves were being tested.
It even happened at the hairdressers the day before. Now, a trip to them in itself is a milestone for me because having to sit still in a chair with wringing wet hair and knowing that I can't escape if I need to was really a problem for me, but, I gritted my teeth, talked myself through my feelings/sensations and I managed to get there, only to be told that my appointment would be 30 minutes late and could I wait around.
"Of course I can" I said through very gritted teeth ! Tested, yet again.
BUT I MANAGED IT. I COPED. I CAME OUT OF THE HAIRDRESSERS ON AN ABSOLUTE CLOUD .... LOOKING GORGEOUS BY THE WAY.
And so to my Course week. I have made some lovely friends. I have had them crying, I have had them rolling around laughing.
It has been quite an intense course, learning all about children who need adoptive homes, the nature of abuse, ethnic background isses etc. I have been returning home absolutely exhausted. But, in more ways than one it has been so rewarding.
I CANNOT WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK. I HAVE TWO DAYS LEFT ON THE COURSE AND THEN WE GET ASSESSED AS PROSPECTIVE ADOPTORS.
I DON'T MIND BLOWING MY OWN TRUMPET AND SAYING THAT I AM TOTALLY AND UTTERLY PROUD OF MYSELF. I KNOW HOW FAR I HAVE COME PERSONALLY. FOR ME TO EVEN CONTEMPLATE BEING OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR MORE THAN AN HOUR WAS AN ABSOLUTE MOUNTAIN FOR ME TO CLIMB. NOW I KNOW THAT I AM READY TO GET BACK OUT THERE, TO SHOW THE WORLD WHAT IT HAS BEEN MISSING.
A GORGEOUS, CONFIDENT FILLY WITH A KILLER HAIRDO !!!!!
CHEERS EVERYONE FOR ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT.
I'LL KEEP YOU POSTED ABOUT MY FINAL DAYS ON THE COURSE.
COOOMMMMEEE ONNNNN !!!!!! [8D][8D][8D][8D][8D][8D][8D][8D]
If the opportunity doesn't knock .... build a door.
WOW! Mrs C - get you!!!!
Massive congratulations and well done on both the hairdo and the course!!
Crikey, we'll all have to raise our game now to keep up...!
Eeb x
Thats fantastic news Mrs Cluggy and you should be proud of yourself .. you have achieved so much ... now you've done that andshown yourself how much you can do then you'll be ready to face bigger things ... well done and congatulations
May
The brightest, sunniest day may follow the darkest, stormiest night ... enjoy the sun
Hi Mrs C
WOW and WELL DONE YOU!!!!!
You have certainly taken the proverbial bull by the horns so to speak.
Many congrats on getting through the course and the hairdo!!
LOOK OUT WORLD ...... Mrs C IS BACK :D[8D]
Hi Everyone !
Well, I have finished my course with flying colours and got a beautiful certificate to prove it !! I've also made some lovely friends along the way and we all plan to keep in touch and check out each others' progress.
The sense of achievement that I actually feel really is indescribable. I know that I will get my good and bad days, but isn't that just part of being human. We all get off days and I should accept that and not feel that I have to apologise to the world for not being perfect for a day or two.
Confidence, I think, really is the key. Once I get that back on form, I know that my life will just be enhanced ten fold. I am not expecting to be 100% confident because I don't think anyone is, we all have our little phobias and worries, but if I can maintain my positive attitude and just accept that my feelings really are just that, physical feelings that my body naturally produces, then I think I will be fine.
For Easter my family and I are off up North to Newcastle to visit relatives. Usually a trip like this would just spin me into pure panic and I would just retreat to my bed for the whole of the holiday period, but NOT TODAY. I cannot wait to get going, to see what the world has to offer and to try to embrace every experience that comes my way.
If I do get nervous, I'm going to say "Actually, I'm a bit nervous and apprehensive can I just take a minute", instead of holding it all in, keeping it to myself and just letting the anxiety build until finally I have to explode into a fountain of tears and run home.
That was definately the OLD ME !!
So, can I just wish absolutely everyone a fantastic HAPPY EASTER, eat as much cholocate as you possibly can and THANK YOU SO MUCH for all of your support and helpful messages.
I am definitely going to try to help other people on this site as I think a few positive words can make such a difference to people's lives, especially when they think they are totally alone within this arena.
Cheerie Bye for now and I'll catch you all later.
XXX
If the opportunity doesn't knock .... build a door.
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