Not quite sure what i'm doing!

[kst101]

Hello to you all, firstly, please let me apologise if i am doing this all wrong! not particulaly p.c au fait! anyway, just wanted to thank you all for saving me over the last six months!, cannot tell you the reassurances i have had from reading some of your posts. Here's the short version of my story. Am a happily married mother of two aged 40. Certainly wouldn't have thought this hideous anxiety thing could have got hold of me, but by god it truly has!!. Have tried to find a starting point, and think it must have begun when my beloved dad passed away very suddenly in 2008, it was a very distressing situation, mainly because we were helpless and had to witness him pass away, which took 13 agonising hours. looking back, i think i completly shut down and went into a wierd kind of auto pilot, so much to sort, and also my mum is totally unable to deal with it, to this day. Anyway, about 6 months ago got this pain behind my eye, didn't think much to be honest, but got worse so went to docs who sent me to hosp straight away. turns out it was this thing called iritus, anyway, ever since then, have just had the most horrendous panic and anxiety, loads of wierd symptons, bad taste, weird smells, and worst of all these bloody head zaps, they come from nowhere, and make me feel so scared. i also have had terrible night terrors, and head rushes where i just think somthing awful is happening. been back to docs, and had bloods etc, all of which came back normal of course! so you feel like your wasting their time, but also relieved that it's ok. But just can't seem to get rid of this seed of doubt that there is more to it, is that normal? really feel like i've lost myself. Am so more tearful than ever before, and it has just been so good to not feel so alone. This is such an all consuming disorder, but i will not lose hope now i have found you lot!!( even though it has taken me about an hour to type!!, told you i was rubbish with computers!)

[buster_uk1967]

Just wanted to say welcome and that you are not alone. xx

[Surgical1969]

Welcome. I used to suffer from many of the same symptoms you have but no longer. Anxiety is certainly curable but everyone has their own way of contending with it. Sorry to hear about your Dad. I lost mine two months ago.

[kst101]

Thank you soooo much for your replys, just to even know that some people have read my post helps no end. Don't feel too bad so far today, one day at a time!! :) So sorry for your loss too, surgical 1969 x

[Bill]

All the symptoms you've mentioned are easily caused by anxiety.

But just can't seem to get rid of this seed of doubt that there is more to it, is that normal?

That little seed of "doubt" creates a worry which you then focus on and focusing on that worry then causes your anxiety and all the anxious feelings.

Therefore, to overcome your all consuming disorder, what do you need to learn to do?......

Get rid of the seed of doubt by letting it go which is where you need "self-confidence" to be able to tell yourself to stop worrying about it.

One way of building that self-confidence is by grasping the nettle to see what happens. Therefore, try to "forget and ignore" the thought whenever it surfaces. When it does surface, you need to unstall "self-belief" by convincing yourself you have nothing worry about and then letting the worry go.

When you can do this and the worry no longer troubles you, the feelings will stop...and then you'll know it's safe to stop worrying about it.

Worry is created by fear and no matter what form it takes, to overcome anxiety means confronting a fear but in the correct way depending on the form the fear takes.

In your case, your fear is a fear of letting a worry go because you feel safer holding on to it. However, by holding on to a fear by constatly worrying about it then creates and keeps alive all your anxious feelings. You have to prove to yourself it's safe to not worry about this fear and then your anxious feelings will let go of you too. Try it and see.:winks::hugs:

[tomo777]

fairplay to you bill agree tottaly with what you have stated and would use the same strateges for myself! respect. and kst101 gd luck and all the best

[Abby1]

This is good advice but it is very hard to get out of the habit of not worrying and trying to forget our worries,well i find it hard anyway.

[Bill]

If it were easy, we wouldn't suffer from anxiety.:)

Something that might help that helps me to cope with worries...

If you have a worry that is within your power to sort, then sort it no matter how frightening it may be and it'll stop worrying you.

If a worry is beyond your control then there's no point worrying about it. Such is life. There's just no point making yourself ill over something you can't do anthing about.

If you can practise both the above, worries do become easier to cope with.:hugs:

[kst101]

Bill, thank you so much for taking the time to read my story, and to reply with such valuble advice, it means alot, and i promise i will try my best to put what you have said into practise! Cheers all!:yesyes:

[marie1974]

hi there and welcome, some great tips and comments too from Bill, i too have same feelings as u and sometimes no matter how hard you try, you cnnot shake the feelings, i think on those days u just got to try and take your mind off things by keeping busy, thats only way for me not to get myself into a panic.

sending you big hugs and i am sure you will find lots of useful advice xx

[Bill]

Keeping busy is fine but just be careful not to overstress yourself by trying to do too much or add pressure by feeling you Have to find things to do. Bear in mind that we are better able to cope when we keep calm by doing enjoyable things without feeling pressure. Having fun is a good distraction because it stops us thinking bad and worrying thoughts so we feel more relaxed.

I think too much stress whether in our daily lives or in our thoughts are probably the main factors that cause us to feel anxious so learning ways to keep calm that work for the individual are very important weapons to use against anxiety.:hugs: