Wish people would understand!

[TakeThisLife]

Hi,
I have been bullied for 6+ years and from this I have anxiety and cannot stop worrying that I will get bullied at school and in the street, so I tend to stay at home most of the time, I go to school and I go to my therapy appointments but that's it..
I have all of the symptoms of depression, and when I realised this I went to my GP who referred me to a therapist, I had been told by lots of people that I had depression, and I wouldn't really self harm and attempt suicide for no reason! And I definetly wouldn't do it for attention because it is sooooo hard and hurts so much trying to get through just one day!
My therapist asks me about wanting attention and its really annoying me! I don't even tell people that know me in real life what is wrong with me, my friends and my family don't know, i hardly talk to anyone about my problems.
I can't change my therapist because all of the therapists there have been told there is nothing wrong with me!
I struggle to get through the day, and self harm is the only thing helping me through :(
If I have all of the symptoms of depression how don't I have it? :s
xxxx

[Mic]

Hey I feel for you, maybe it's time you talked to people now, talk to your family, is there a teacher you trust and coud talk to you must try and take controll of this and your first step is to talk to family, it is totally out of ordser thatyou are being bullied and this needs to be addressed, please talk to a member of staft at the school this will be the first of many steps and once this is sorted yo will find the other things you have been feeling will ease off.:hugs:

[~glowly worm~]

Hey xx

As someone who was severely bullied throughout every year of school (except for 2) i just want to give you one big hug xx And let you know that Mic is right.

You feel you could talk to anyone at all? It doesnt have to be anyone at school.

Have you tried excpalining to the therapist that you feel hurt by them saying you are doing it for attention? And asking her to listen to the REAL reason and requestthey offer some advice? That is after all what they are paid to do, that is what they should be there for. It is NOT your fault! You are clearly NOT doing it for attention.

Other than this, connexions may be able to help? I havent used them since i was at school but they were very good back then (late 90s). I believe they are independent of schools so might be a good way to get the support you need and deserve.
You can email or phone them and tell them what you have told us.
Really hope it helps.
Their website with contacts is:
http://www.anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk/help_and_advice/children_and_young_people.aspx
Please keep fighting, i know its hard but 10 years on im no longer bullied and have the most lovely bunch of people who are my friends. You deserve this too.
They need to be stopped x

[Mic]

well said glowly worm, just think there are probably alot of other people being bullied by the same people and the actions you take now may help alot of other people too, my daughter was bullied and it broke my heart, she is such a beautiful person inside and out, I took it up with the school and got it all stopped, you will have to be very strong and take the bull by the horns.

Also if the therapist says you are doing this for attention (which you say you are not) she should be finding out why, maybe this is a cry for help and rightly so you sound as if you are having a really rough time of it. You sound full of anxiety and anyone being bullied would be.

Please don't try just do it tell someone what youare going through and insist on getting the help you deserve.xx

[TakeThisLife]

Thank you both for understanding me and for your support!
It helps to know that someone else has been through this but I just feel like I can't carry on anymore
I have been to a teacher at school last year but this year I can't because I don't want to go and speak to her too often, she is the child protection teacher so she knows about my self harm and suicide attempts
What I am doing is not a cry for help because nobody finds out my plans or if I have made any more attempts, its best to keep it to myself I think
Thank you for my hug ~glowly worm~ sending a big hug back! :)
I have been called fat and ugly for a long time so I also have no self confidence, I keep my head down when I walk, I can't help it, they have torn me apart, and there isn't much left of me to be honest!
Thank you again for your support!
xxxxx

[Mic]

Listen these people who bully have no self confidence and they want everyone to feel how they do, my daughter went to hell and back but got through it in the end she was called allsorts and people used to beat her up, turns out the bullies were weak people and crumbled when confronted with what they were doing, keep your chin up and don't worry about how any times you have to speak to teacher at school that is what they are there for!! My daugher is now a mum herself and a very good one. Please don't give u on yourself, you seem like a very well educated and kind person.:)

[Nutmeg]

I wish I could say something to help... I know how hard it is *hugs* I hate it when people say SH and suicide attempts are for attention seeking, sometimes it is the only way to cope with a really shitty situation. If there is anyone you can talk to that might help... even telling a therapist etc that it is not a attention seeking ploy that it is infact the only way that you know how to cope with what's going on.

I wish I knew more what to say.... but I've been there, and I've got through it (just). If there is anyone you can talk to or vent at then that's always good. If not vent here I guess... my pm box is always open. If you ever want to someone to vent to who's been there.

I hope it does get better! *hugs*

[Captain Caveman]

Hi Beth. I think it can help for you to feel pitty for the bullies. I was doing a counselling course and have read about bullying. They tend to be people who have their own issues. For example, I went to secondary school with a bully. Sadly, as an adult he committed suicide. It turned out he had his own personal issues that he was struggling with.


I have been to a teacher at school last year but this year I can't because I don't want to go and speak to her too often, she is the child protection teacher so she knows about my self harm and suicide attempts

Please promise me you will speak to someone. Perhaps this teacher is the person. As you haven't spoken to her since last year, you aren't speaking too much. And plus she would want you to speak to her as much as you can, so she can help.


I have been called fat and ugly for a long time so I also have no self confidence

The people who are calling you names are fallible human beings. Like the rest of us, they have faults. I personally believe in God and so it only matters what He thinks of me. I won't let a fellow human with all their faults and issues determine how I live/feel. When I was younger I used to let people get to me, but as you get older, you grow and can change your life around. Who are they to dictate your life?

Also, think about how much of an impact you can have for future kids who might go through the same bullying if you can sort yourself out and be there for them. You will have a rewarding role in store for you.

Here is a song that has helped motivate people. It's called "Rise Above This" by Seether:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIC_fQogT2Y

And here is the book that in a survey of 1000 specialists was voted number 1 most suggested self help book for peole who are depressed: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336

So can you please promise me you will speak to someone about all this?

You of course can always speak to people here. :)

[Bill]

I had a thought today I thought was worth sharing.

When I was at school I was bullied too. I used to be physically sick in the mornings and had to take something to settle my tummy. I couldn't talk to anyone about how I felt. I kept it secret. I did though get into fights because I just got so fed up with the taunting and in actual fact one bully then realised they'd come off worse so I guess to an extent it worked.

However, the one thing I felt I really needed that I couldn't find was a close friend I could turn to who would understand how I felt. I wanted to feel loved and cared about.

Sometimes I feel therapists, teachers etc can help through their knowledge but can't provide what we feel we really need - to be wanted, needed and loved.

I'm not sure that's of any real help but I think I can understand how you might be feeling because how I felt. One important thing though - things DO get better so Never give up because in time people will appreciate you for the special person you are....and if I had a daughter I'd be telling her the same.:hugs:

[~glowly worm~]

Listen,

*another hug back :) * you are clearly worth more than this, the sad thing is you remind me so much of how i was and i just want to go round there with you and kick their bad asses :p It must be so exhausting but you must keep going, as the others said keep talking to us too.

Caveman is right when saying ''Also, think about how much of an impact you can have for future kids who might go through the same bullying if you can sort yourself out and be there for them. You will have a rewarding role in store for you.'' so this means you HAVE to keep going, however meanwhile.....


Have you thought of trying to put your head up? I know it sounds lame and is going to be a tough thing to do but if you can at least do this it might give the signal that you dont care so much (even though it kills inside :( ) because by putting your head down you are fuelling their fire & will probably make them do it more :( * more kicks to them!!!!!!!!*


You MUST keep coming back and talking to us ok? DO NOT listen to anyone who tells you its for attention, they wouldnt say that if they knew.


Mic- Im so glad you stopped them hurting your daughter :) :)

Nutmeg- you may THINK you offered nothing helpful but if i had heard your words 10 yrs ago it would have meant so much - power to ya! :) :) x You are also right about SH being a coping mechanism which will hopefully also get kicked once the bullies get sorted & new strategies are found x

One more thing..do you think you could tell us WHY you dont want to keep going to the child protection officer? Did you find her approachable? Because once is not alot to see her at all,its barely anything and I dont think anyone would mind if you saw her every single day in order to sort this out and have a better life... wouldnt anything be better than feeling this way? Also if she didnt sort it out im sure she'd want to know so she could do something...and if she doesnt then someone else needs to x If you could let us know whats stopping you seeing her maybe we can tackle that too x


Bill- is also right ... things DO and CAN get better- for you too, meanwhile you have everyone here rooting for you x

[Alicat]

:hugs:Beth,

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. The therapist shouldn't be saying it's for attention when you're telling them it's not. She should be listening to you and your feelings. Would you be able to tell her how it makes you feel when she says your SH and suicide attempts are for attention? I'd definitely advise going to talk to the child protection teacher too.

I don't know if your are has a young person's counselling agency. We have one here so it would be worth asking your GP if they're aware of somewhere else you could go.

Wishing you all the best :hugs:

[Bill]

I've been bullied, I've selfharmed and I've od'd in the past but I survived as will you....

You may laugh at this link or you may cry or you may just think it's plain silly but the message holds as true today as it did then. There will always be people who dislike us but as I've found there will also be many others who do understand and will want to be our friends. We may feel unloved as I often do but there are people out there who genuinely care as proved on this site so never feel alone and never give up.:hugs:

I hope you won't find this link too silly because the message is very true so please take a moment to listen...and "Believe".:hugs:..........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBQJ10R71J0&feature=related :hugs:

[munkeyinblack]

Takethislife,

I really feel for you and know exactly what you're going through as do so many others on this site.
I felt the same about my therapist who definatly wasnt very theraputic and needed a good lesson in people skills.
WHat i did was write everything down, every crazy thought in my head, all the horrible things that were happening, how it made me feel, how i wanted to run away and hide from it all. Most of what i wrote down would look crazy to most people but it helped me make sense of how i was feeling.
Also because i was unable to get the words out about how i was feeling i showed my therapist what id written. I found that he actually understood more and after that made a real effort to help me and understand what i was going through.
Its just an idea butit definatly worked for me (i still do it now, i have book upon book now). As i got more confident i expressed how i was feeling through stories and poems and now i have a hobby that keeps me sane when times are really tough.

Its just an idea but im of the opinion that anything that mite help is worth a shot.

The replies on this thread show you have alot of support and thats something to remember to keep you fighting. Let us know how you are getting on.

Take care
Munkey
x

ps captain caveman you have astounding taste in music! One of my fave bands are seether :)