MandyMoOo
22-02-11, 15:08
Hi,
I really can't believe I'm here but am grateful that I'm at least able to type this after the horrendous symptoms I've recently been experiencing which I think is due to my wonder drug, Seroxat. I've been on it about 9 years after wasting years of my young life trying to overcome my anxiety disorder via therapy, self help, complementary therapy etc. I had been on seroxat for about a year a few years before which helped my symptoms then but I was a wreck again when they stopped it. So when the Dr offered help for my disabling anxiety I asked for Seroxat as I knew it had worked before where other antidepressants had failed. So since I've been back on seroxat I was able to live my life again. I wasn't high or cut off from my emotions or anything, I still had feelings and my OCD symptoms were still there, just easier to deal with and my panic attacks stopped. I don't regret taking it as this drug helped me feel 'normal' however, the last couple of weeks something odd has happened. I started getting anxiety quite badly in short spells. I'd hoped it would pass but each week I seem to be worse and it's getting very scary. It started with me feeling normal and having odd anxiety spells to now being an anxious, crying wreck most of the time constantly trying to fight off panic attacks....and then sometimes I feel normal again for an evening or something. I feel like I'm going mad, I'm assuming it's panic attacks altho it feels way beyond panic, like everything I know looks weird, I'm looking on the world through someone else's eyes, severe, out of control anxiety where my legs go, I terrified of everything, my hearing went once, muscle spasms...the list is endless. It's hard to explain but I'm so scared I'm going to go mad and end up in a mental hospital which will freak me out even more cuz I know there are some dangerous pantients in those places who are allowed to mingle with everyone else. I worry about my poor mother having to deal with it etc. Everyday it's like waking up to a nightmare. I tried to lower my dose of the drug but felt worse. Every day is different, I'm just trying to ride it out right now as this kinda thing has happened before (but not for as long or quite as bad) and I stuck with the drug and stabilized again after a couple of weeks and was fine. I feel like I've been put on another drug or something. Surely Seroxat can't just alter their formula without putting a warning on the box? I woke up today having the worst panic attack yet, I couldn';t even focus enough to get on the laptop to write this so I listening to some BINAURAL BEATS which are supposed to reduce anxiety and I believe this is the only reason I'm not still climbing the walls in a disorientated mess. It helped when I listened to these Binaural beats yesterday aswell...the only problem with this is, it can take a good hour of listening before I feel better which I don't have time for before going to work etc. I've been trying all sorts of tricks to help me but they are all very difficult to do in public without feeling like a **** so then I have to try and find a toilet to hide in. I'm really shocked as I've been practising meditation at my local Buddhist centre for years and always thought I could regain control but it feels virtually impossible now as I can hardly remember how to meditate in the middle of an attack and I'm too scared to try. It wasn't easy to meditate even when seroxat was behaving for me but at least it was possible. I'm scared to trust my Dr as know they don't really understand and don't wanna be put in a mental hospital, it would make me worse to leave my cat and be afraid of all the nutters in there. I can't work out why it's suddenly doing this to me, I don't know whether top ride it out now I've got this far )as it feels like anxiety u can experience when getting used to a new drug) or whether to ask to switch to another drug which could make me worse for another 3 weeks while it's getting into my system. I don't have time for this bullshit. Just wanna get back to beign me again. Sorry to moan, I just wondered if it's normal for this drug to suddenly do this even when it's been working so well?
Hope you are all doing ok,
Mandy x
I really can't believe I'm here but am grateful that I'm at least able to type this after the horrendous symptoms I've recently been experiencing which I think is due to my wonder drug, Seroxat. I've been on it about 9 years after wasting years of my young life trying to overcome my anxiety disorder via therapy, self help, complementary therapy etc. I had been on seroxat for about a year a few years before which helped my symptoms then but I was a wreck again when they stopped it. So when the Dr offered help for my disabling anxiety I asked for Seroxat as I knew it had worked before where other antidepressants had failed. So since I've been back on seroxat I was able to live my life again. I wasn't high or cut off from my emotions or anything, I still had feelings and my OCD symptoms were still there, just easier to deal with and my panic attacks stopped. I don't regret taking it as this drug helped me feel 'normal' however, the last couple of weeks something odd has happened. I started getting anxiety quite badly in short spells. I'd hoped it would pass but each week I seem to be worse and it's getting very scary. It started with me feeling normal and having odd anxiety spells to now being an anxious, crying wreck most of the time constantly trying to fight off panic attacks....and then sometimes I feel normal again for an evening or something. I feel like I'm going mad, I'm assuming it's panic attacks altho it feels way beyond panic, like everything I know looks weird, I'm looking on the world through someone else's eyes, severe, out of control anxiety where my legs go, I terrified of everything, my hearing went once, muscle spasms...the list is endless. It's hard to explain but I'm so scared I'm going to go mad and end up in a mental hospital which will freak me out even more cuz I know there are some dangerous pantients in those places who are allowed to mingle with everyone else. I worry about my poor mother having to deal with it etc. Everyday it's like waking up to a nightmare. I tried to lower my dose of the drug but felt worse. Every day is different, I'm just trying to ride it out right now as this kinda thing has happened before (but not for as long or quite as bad) and I stuck with the drug and stabilized again after a couple of weeks and was fine. I feel like I've been put on another drug or something. Surely Seroxat can't just alter their formula without putting a warning on the box? I woke up today having the worst panic attack yet, I couldn';t even focus enough to get on the laptop to write this so I listening to some BINAURAL BEATS which are supposed to reduce anxiety and I believe this is the only reason I'm not still climbing the walls in a disorientated mess. It helped when I listened to these Binaural beats yesterday aswell...the only problem with this is, it can take a good hour of listening before I feel better which I don't have time for before going to work etc. I've been trying all sorts of tricks to help me but they are all very difficult to do in public without feeling like a **** so then I have to try and find a toilet to hide in. I'm really shocked as I've been practising meditation at my local Buddhist centre for years and always thought I could regain control but it feels virtually impossible now as I can hardly remember how to meditate in the middle of an attack and I'm too scared to try. It wasn't easy to meditate even when seroxat was behaving for me but at least it was possible. I'm scared to trust my Dr as know they don't really understand and don't wanna be put in a mental hospital, it would make me worse to leave my cat and be afraid of all the nutters in there. I can't work out why it's suddenly doing this to me, I don't know whether top ride it out now I've got this far )as it feels like anxiety u can experience when getting used to a new drug) or whether to ask to switch to another drug which could make me worse for another 3 weeks while it's getting into my system. I don't have time for this bullshit. Just wanna get back to beign me again. Sorry to moan, I just wondered if it's normal for this drug to suddenly do this even when it's been working so well?
Hope you are all doing ok,
Mandy x