ashley
02-04-06, 21:19
I cant stand this pain.. i cant take it no more.. i cant take the way i feel.
For 2/3 days i had no anxiety WOW i felt luckey actually.
But the last two days i have been waking up extremley grotty, extremley lathergic, extremley aggitated, snappy, moody, confused ... but not anxious,,,badley depressed.. i am wondering if i am getting lack of oxogen to my brain when i sleeping ...as i have a bad bad snoring problem when i sleep...it is so bad sometimes it wakes me up...it made me wake up like i hadnt slept... im confused maybe im not getting enuff air to my brain when i am sleeping... i have had enuff.
I hate myself so much you should try being around me like this..im so bitter... im a horrible person to be around like this.. extremley aggressive really.. just nasty.
My dear dear cousin is having extremley bad marriage probelms and has been in a complete mess, wanted to kill herself..self harming herself..cutting herself, and badley down...im there for her..of course she has been staying and complety relying on me... but thats a masif masif pressure.. i cant cope with this..i could be feeling really bad and she is asking me question apon question bless her..she looks up to me.
Its not hre falut bless her, but she cant hear me because she is so wrapped up in her self and the way she is feeling, so i cant talk with her about myself, i have no-one ...really no-one... i have made friends with 2 really specail people on here and there are the best... they are always there for me and i love them... but no-one in my community can i chat with.. my family dont want to really know how i am feeling,and i can sense thier fear when they do ask if i am ok,its like they are scared to ask.. there great ..but they dont understand/... i am so so alone.. and have to be strong for my cousin when i am breaking..in a big way myself.
I think my kids could do better than a useless mother like me. this is far too much ... i feel sorry for them as i am either lovley as ever or nasty as ever...
poor darlings
This feeling is so overwheminly nasty... does anyone think its beacuse of lack of oxogen
oh god i cant tae this anymore...
ashx
For 2/3 days i had no anxiety WOW i felt luckey actually.
But the last two days i have been waking up extremley grotty, extremley lathergic, extremley aggitated, snappy, moody, confused ... but not anxious,,,badley depressed.. i am wondering if i am getting lack of oxogen to my brain when i sleeping ...as i have a bad bad snoring problem when i sleep...it is so bad sometimes it wakes me up...it made me wake up like i hadnt slept... im confused maybe im not getting enuff air to my brain when i am sleeping... i have had enuff.
I hate myself so much you should try being around me like this..im so bitter... im a horrible person to be around like this.. extremley aggressive really.. just nasty.
My dear dear cousin is having extremley bad marriage probelms and has been in a complete mess, wanted to kill herself..self harming herself..cutting herself, and badley down...im there for her..of course she has been staying and complety relying on me... but thats a masif masif pressure.. i cant cope with this..i could be feeling really bad and she is asking me question apon question bless her..she looks up to me.
Its not hre falut bless her, but she cant hear me because she is so wrapped up in her self and the way she is feeling, so i cant talk with her about myself, i have no-one ...really no-one... i have made friends with 2 really specail people on here and there are the best... they are always there for me and i love them... but no-one in my community can i chat with.. my family dont want to really know how i am feeling,and i can sense thier fear when they do ask if i am ok,its like they are scared to ask.. there great ..but they dont understand/... i am so so alone.. and have to be strong for my cousin when i am breaking..in a big way myself.
I think my kids could do better than a useless mother like me. this is far too much ... i feel sorry for them as i am either lovley as ever or nasty as ever...
poor darlings
This feeling is so overwheminly nasty... does anyone think its beacuse of lack of oxogen
oh god i cant tae this anymore...
ashx