View Full Version : Serious Fear!
Now that Heart/Lung problems have been ruled out i am absolutely petrified about Bulbar Onset or Respiratory Onset MND.
Reasons being:-
>Daily headaches for the past 4-5 weeks that i cannot get rid of (Apparently this is a symptom because of too much CO2 or something.)
>Feeling short of breath a lot.
>Frequent Yawning & Sighing.
>I have been told that i twitch a lot at night and even jerk, According to this site: http://www.islandnet.com/~yesmag/Questions/sleep.html It can be caused by MS, MND & Parkinson's.
>Swallowing problems, Sometimes swallowing Saliva feels hard.
>Constant clearing out of the throat.
>A feeling of a brick or a ball being stuck in my throat.
>Persistent neck pain which i have had since August.
>Ear pain
I feel so worried about this, I do really need to see a Neurologist to hopefully rule out anything like this but it wouldn't surprise me if i had it.
itoldyouiwasill
25-02-11, 19:35
All the symptoms you have listed are typical presentations of physical anxiety.
The faulty belief that that the physical symptoms of anxiety are actually the symptoms of a serious organic illness is pretty much the definition of health anxiety.
You are posting on a anxiety forum in the health anxiety folder.
Those three factors alone would make me think that your issues relate directly to anxiety rather than what is a rare subsection of a rare disease.
nomorepanic
25-02-11, 20:07
Well I don't think you have it at all but you won't listen to me or anyone else so go back to the doc like I said and take the list with you.
Greenman50
25-02-11, 20:10
Hi Eggy
I have all of those except the first three .
ladybird64
25-02-11, 20:13
From the rest of the article on the link that you posted.
Might be worth reading the last paragraph again.
Hypnagogic myoclonus (also called sleep starts) is very normal and happens to just about everyone. According to the University of Marburg in Germany, reports of sleep starts are in the 60 to 70 percent range of sleepers (which means everyone) and they're often forgotten. It happens before you're getting into heavy duty sleep mode when the brain is gradually sliding away to dream land. You have probably experienced a falling sensation -- or some other weird feeling -- if you twitch yourself awake. Some people also experience visual sleep starts, a sensation of blinding light. Auditory sleep starts involve a loud snapping noise. (This happens to me, and up until now, I thought it was something outside my body and I would force my husband to get up and go investigate. Guess I won't do that anymore.)
Not a lot is known about why people experience sleep starts, but there seems to be some suggestion that anxiety, some kind of noise, a vivid dream, muscle fatigue, or even genetic disposition plays some part, perhaps in how frequently the sensation occurs.
but it wouldn't surprise me if i had it.
You self-diagnosing again Eggy? Your doc carried out various neuro tests and you were fine remember?
You say that in a very casual way, as if you wish it upon yourself almost :lac:
i love tea
25-02-11, 20:55
Eggy - harasgenster has written a great reply on your other thread - I really think you should go and read that and follow the suggestions.
You were worried about this before, and if you'd had it then, you'd be very very ill by now.
I really think that 'distraction' would help you - you need to think about something else other than yourself and your health. This technique works very well for me and many others. Find something you are passionate about and throw yourself into it - volunteering, a hobby, studying... there are so many options. STOP GOOGLING and do something to help yourself. If you really were that ill you wouldn't be able to spend hours on your PC.
Don't wait until your health is 'perfect' - so many people live full and active lives whilst suffering pain or discomfort. It's a choice.
Right, I'll get off my 'soap box' now. It's not that I don't care or that I'm trying to be mean - reassurance isn't helping you - well, you basically ignore it anyway.
Wishing you all the best.
Eggy
Why not have a word with your Gp about how much you worry about illnesses?
If you were truly ill, then the doctors would have picked up on whatever you would have, by now. Your tests so far have come back as clear...why not accept that and just give yourself a break for a while from worrying? Why not go and have a good night out? or do something that you really enjoy? or get involved in something...anything...just to give yourself a break and distraction for a while?
Eggy.
With all respect.
Please, open some windows.
Get some fresh air.
Set your mind on getting active.
And, stop checking your symptoms and coming up with all the illnesses that I for one have never heard of!!!!!
You are on a slow but definite downward spiral of misery and you will only drown in a sea of Hypochondria!
You have been examined and recently been to A and E, I presume nothing serious was found. One again I ask you to seek Psychiatric advice if any.
Horse.
May I add that I'm surprised that your GP has not suggested this.
paula lynne
26-02-11, 02:03
Oh my eggy, youve only just been discharged following your self-admission to hospital, where your oxygen sats, x-rays, ecg and blood works were all fine.
When I last checked in here you were convinced you had something else...now its Bulbar onset, or respiratory onset mnd.
You are googling again arent you???? You are fitting your anxiety symptoms around any disease you can find. You are never going to get well as you are doing yourself no favours. I have mild HA, and I sympathise you as HA is hell, but you wont even accept you have any form of HA, anxiety, or panic.
Unless you do, you will be like this for the rest of your life.
I agree with the previous posts, you need to seek mental health care now to move forward. Its not a critisicm, a lot of us here have been involved with the MHT at some time or another, but I really fear for your sanity now.
You need help, and fast. You build up a thread to the point of insanity, and then when you get the all clear, you start a new thread......never mind the hundreds of people whove tried to help you, and are left worrying about you, you simply start a new thread as if it all meant nothing!!!
You asked me why I kept your PMs?
This is why.
You are either 2 people, or you are not the person you present on here.
See your GP Eggy. Nobody wants you to start to get well more than me, Ive been with you since day 1. But its time now to start being pro-active, stop googling, and seek the help you need.
Wishing you all the best x
Eggy please, you need to ask your GP for a Mental Health Team referal.
Hi Eggy....I agree with horse,try and start to think more positive and try exercise,instead of googling symptoms
Love Petra x
Eggy.
With all respect.
Please, open some windows.
Get some fresh air.
Set your mind on getting active.
And, stop checking your symptoms and coming up with all the illnesses that I for one have never heard of!!!!!
You are on a slow but definite downward spiral of misery and you will only drown in a sea of Hypochondria!
You have been examined and recently been to A and E, I presume nothing serious was found. One again I ask you to seek Psychiatric advice if any.
Horse.
May I add that I'm surprised that your GP has not suggested this.
I agree with this too .You surely can see what you are doing to yourself ? Read through your posts .We have all tried to help you but it is pointless .I honestly think after you get the ENT appointment over with and the Scan result .Your next step is to ask for help for your HA . I do sympathise with you but I dont think any of this is helping you .Talking about your symptoms constantly and googling ,self diagnosing is the worst thing you could do .This is a FACT ..Time to start helping yourself now, I think !or your life will never be going anywhere .That is a waste . sue x
Greenman50
27-02-11, 01:15
Eggy hasn,t replied as he has sold his laptop , bought a pair of trainers and is currently training for the London Marathon . He thanks you all for your replies but he feels much better now .
Eggy ...seriously mate ....i wish i was your age again mate , you have so much liveing to do at your age (so do i at my age !) please try and take the advice of the experienced members on here , get out , force yourself , open that window that horse has said and start to enjoy your life again .
You have balls fella for going for all these tests , i bury my head in the sand and don,t go to the drs or hospital (i,ve in herited this from my parents) ....you have had loads of tests your fine .
Get out there and start liveing again . I still feel like shi te but i,m not letting any health worrys ruin my time left on this earth , i,m just getting on with things , your a long time dead , start liveing mate , i wish youn well , i really mean that .
Mel
I have thought long and hard about posting this but I think that it's important that I do.
I've mentioned before that I'm studying for a course which I hope is going to lead me to a career whereI will be working with people with progressive neurological conditions such as MS, Parkinsons and MND. I keep on top of reading up on the latest research on these conditions, and have found that forums are a great source of useful info, as sufferers are often abreast of latest developments etc.
Whilst browsing a specialist MND forum http://www.build-uk.net/ I came across a post called '29 year old concerned about bulbar/respiratory onset' in the MND related discussion sub-forum. It is from someone who thinks they have MND - they have posted numerous times under different user names (or so people seem to think) and the site users over there are getting increasingly annoyed because they have already given their opinion (that this person does not have MND) but the person continues to post.
Now, I may well be wrong here Eggy but if this person is not you, then it is your identical twin. Same age, same writing style, same list of symptoms, same persistence....
I am going to agree with the above poster here that you need an urgent referal to the mental health team to deal with your anxiety. Over here on No more panic we understand health anxiety and we want to support you, but if you've reached a point where you're subjecting people who are seriously dying from this horrific disease to your questions, you need to get some support fast. I apologise unreservedly if I'm wrong, but I don't think I am. Please get some help, and take care.
All the best.
Having read the stuff on the links, I have to say I agree with karlyo here. Regretfully, I gave up trying to help Eggy a long time ago, as to me it feels as though he isn't interested in any comments that don't agree with his theories. I don't know what else to say, other than he seriously needs help with his mental condition.
allergyphobia
07-03-11, 09:50
Oh god. *shakes head*
Having read the link it definately sounds like Eggy. I agree he needs urgent help with his health anxiety as it is way out of control.
Well after reading the links Im rather confused to why Eggy is still persisting with his posts about MND .:lac:Hopefully his new Dr will refer him to a Psychiatrist and get him on the right path to overcoming his HA ..It shows you as well ,how tolerant we have been on here .,Judging by the reponses he had on the other forums .. Good luck Eggy when are you going to get a new GP ? ..sue
paula lynne
07-03-11, 11:29
Wow, some of those replies on there were very forthright and direct. Sounds like Eggy alright.....
Hope you find what youre looking for soon Eggy.
I'm glad it isn't just me who thought so! The instant I read the post I thought 'I know this person from somewhere...' then it hit me.
The members over there are indeed very frustrated, as they should be I suppose. I hope that Eggy sees this and decides to get help, this is all getting very unhealthy.
paula lynne
07-03-11, 12:04
pointless banging head against wall..
nomorepanic
07-03-11, 12:04
I have read the links and all the other sites and I agree that it is our Eggy and I see he has been banned on some.
We are not going to ban Eggy as NMP is different from those sites and obviously it is up to them what they do with members that post persistently and not listen.
I just hope Eggy has realised that he doesn't have MND now and gets help for the HA instead.
Eggy i think you definately need a Psy assessment....
maybe then u'll listen to advice given to you.....
Definately sounds like the same person on the other site.....
I feel sorry for Eggy - this just shows the extent of his obsession with this. Eggy, I hope you get your op soon and that it either gets rid of your symptoms or makes you realise that you need treatment for HA x
allergyphobia
07-03-11, 12:34
I too feel sorry and worried for Eggy. Good luck with the op too, and I hope you get the answers you are looking for. I know how hard it can be when medical professionals aren't giving you the answers you want... and so you post online to hope somebody has been in the same boat...
You really need to take things into your own hands Eggy and seek CBT, counselling... things that can help you deal with the physical symptoms of anxiety and accept them for what they are. Who knows though, you may be a new man when you are tonsil-free!
All the best.
Eggy.
I am not here to judge the authenticity of your HA as I do firmly believe that you are ill, but as you know by now, Anxiety will manifest itself in many different ways making us believe that we are very seriously ill when in fact, that it NOT the case!
I have not looked at the other sites that you have posted on, but by what I read from our friends on NMP, I am lead to understand that your contributions to those sites are sometimes perhaps in conflict with their rules and in some cases has resulted in you being banned, something which NMP Administration has kindly and compassionately refused to ever do.
Would it therefore not be better for you to take notice of the replies that you receive from your posts a little more than just now and again and realise that although you will of course remain a contributor to NMP, the amount of help and advice you receive will sadly twindle over a period of time if you do not heed to other members thoughtfulness and consideration of constantly banging their heads against the wall trying to get through to you?
One piece of advice Eggy (although I know it will not be taken) is that, over a period of time, I have lost many friends (and family) due to my own stupidity, selfishness, stubborness and 'what about me' attitude. On thing about NMP is that we are all one big family! No one judges anyone else because we all suffer the same bucket of shit everday! I personally don't know what I would have done had it not been for other members replying to my desparate calls for help and advice. We are all a credit to each other on here.
PLEASE understand that if you continue to ignore other sufferers replies and comments to your own posts, you will more than likely run the risk of loosing their friendship, knowledge and wisdom that they use to try and help you.
And that my friend will be much worse than any Anxiety that have to endure!
Take care,
Horse.
I have asked this before Eggy and I will ask again
What do you want us to do?
If you just want us to say "there there it will be ok" then we can do that, but beyond that we cannot diagnose any illnesses or make you suddenly better.
I don't want you to do anything, It's a good place to get advice and to have a rant and get things off my chest!
I think this exchange said it all.
He was telling porkies about the "advice" bit though :lac:
harasgenster
07-03-11, 13:38
Mentioned on that other site of munchausen by internet (read about that a couple of weeks ago...) Hadn't thought of that but I think Eggy should look this term up. I'm not saying you have it (I'm pretty certain you do not, you just sound anxious) but have a look and see how serious it is - this is what people see in your behaviour. That should give you some clue about how irrational your worries some to others (because they ARE irrational) - whether they are physically or mentally ill. I know you're anxious but, if this is you on other sites (and it really does sound like it), you need to be very careful not to offend others.
It's horrible having anxiety. Everyone has sympathy for that. BUT ALWAYS THINK OF OTHERS. If a group of seriously ill people are offended by your behaviour and have gone through the illness and don't recognise what you're saying about it then just believe them, or if you don't, don't offend them any further. It doesn't really matter if you feel less anxious if you're causing offense to others in the process, and you don't feel less anxious anyway.
SEE YOUR GP ABOUT ANXIETY
Has your GP not offered a psych referral?
Couldn't have put it better myself, Dahlia. Now I just hope that Eggy reads this thread and takes things on board, for his own sake.
I'm sure if we added up the cumulative years of suffering that anxiety has given to people on this board, it would be centuries. Yet we all have to realise that ultimately it's in our own hands to do something about it - until we get to that point, nothing will happen.
harasgenster
07-03-11, 17:11
I'm sure Eggy doesn't have Munchausens.
Sorry, I was in a bit of a hurry before and didn't write my reply very well. I agree, Eggy DOES NOT have Munchausens. What I was trying to say was that if others were able to get this impression of him it shows how irrational he seems to others. And if he seems irrational to everybody else, perhaps this can help him to realise that his thoughts may, indeed, be irrational, which would be a good step forward for him :)
Sorry for any confusion :)
harasgenster
07-03-11, 17:20
I'm sure Eggy doesn't have Munchausens.
Sorry, I was in a bit of a hurry before and didn't write my reply very well. I agree, Eggy DOES NOT have Munchausens. What I was trying to say was that if others were able to get this impression of him it shows how irrational he seems to others. And if he seems irrational to everybody else, perhaps this can help him to realise that his thoughts may, indeed, be irrational, which would be a good step forward for him :)
Sorry for any confusion :)
Can I just add one more thing, as well. There have been several times where symptoms I thought were just anxiety, the doctors took more seriously and started sending me to specialists. When they did that I, weirdly, started to feel hopeful. Of course it always turned out to be anxiety in the end anyway, but perhaps Eggy sometimes feels a little like I did then. If I have epilepsy, for example, they will give me pills and make it better (to a certain extent) and take some of the terrible symptoms away. Or sometimes it's a kind of strange feeling of relief that they can pin a name to the symptoms and give me exact reasons why things are happening. Of course the name "anxiety" explains all but it seems so vague. The other factor is that if it is a physical illness causing my symptoms the impetus is off me. I don't feel like it is my responsibility to "make this better". The thing with anxiety, quite rightly, is that if you want to feel better you have to really work hard at it. Sometimes when doctors tell me it could be a physical thing I feel some of the pressure taken away from me.
I am very ashamed of the feelings of relief I can get when I am told something could be physical as I know those with real physical illnesses are suffering very badly and it's not like "they have it easier" or anything like that. It's a feeling that just comes over me when it suggested that this time it isn't psychological. For instance, I have problems with my bladder and I know fine well that they could be, if not caused by, perpetuated by stress. I live in fear of the doctors saying this though (they haven't yet) because to me that means they can't help me. Not in the same way, anyway. They can't just take out an obstruction or give me pills...do you see what I mean?
Again, I feel terrible for saying it and I was too ashamed to say any of this before but perhaps this gives another dimension to the Eggy saga! I write this only in case Eggy can relate at all.
Sorry if I've offended anyone - like I say, I don't consciously think about this it's a feeling I am ashamed of!
wiskersonkittens
07-03-11, 21:51
Eggy -- Please don't do this to yourself. I speak from the point of view that my heart anxiety has ruined my life. I can't function anymore hardly because I am so afraid something is wrong with it (all this started and has gotten worse due to the fact I have experienced 4 losses in less than 3 years -- 3 of which I were close, and one that was the straw that broke the camel's back). My world is so small now and I haven't been able to get myself together. I can't take meds -- but I really think you should talk to your doctor about them. You don't need this to get any worse -- believe me! Hugs to you ... Wiskers ~
wiskersonkittens
07-03-11, 21:55
Sorry, I was in a bit of a hurry before and didn't write my reply very well. I agree, Eggy DOES NOT have Munchausens. What I was trying to say was that if others were able to get this impression of him it shows how irrational he seems to others. And if he seems irrational to everybody else, perhaps this can help him to realise that his thoughts may, indeed, be irrational, which would be a good step forward for him :)
Sorry for any confusion :)
Can I just add one more thing, as well. There have been several times where symptoms I thought were just anxiety, the doctors took more seriously and started sending me to specialists. When they did that I, weirdly, started to feel hopeful. Of course it always turned out to be anxiety in the end anyway, but perhaps Eggy sometimes feels a little like I did then. If I have epilepsy, for example, they will give me pills and make it better (to a certain extent) and take some of the terrible symptoms away. Or sometimes it's a kind of strange feeling of relief that they can pin a name to the symptoms and give me exact reasons why things are happening. Of course the name "anxiety" explains all but it seems so vague. The other factor is that if it is a physical illness causing my symptoms the impetus is off me. I don't feel like it is my responsibility to "make this better". The thing with anxiety, quite rightly, is that if you want to feel better you have to really work hard at it. Sometimes when doctors tell me it could be a physical thing I feel some of the pressure taken away from me.
I am very ashamed of the feelings of relief I can get when I am told something could be physical as I know those with real physical illnesses are suffering very badly and it's not like "they have it easier" or anything like that. It's a feeling that just comes over me when it suggested that this time it isn't psychological. For instance, I have problems with my bladder and I know fine well that they could be, if not caused by, perpetuated by stress. I live in fear of the doctors saying this though (they haven't yet) because to me that means they can't help me. Not in the same way, anyway. They can't just take out an obstruction or give me pills...do you see what I mean?
Again, I feel terrible for saying it and I was too ashamed to say any of this before but perhaps this gives another dimension to the Eggy saga! I write this only in case Eggy can relate at all.
Sorry if I've offended anyone - like I say, I don't consciously think about this it's a feeling I am ashamed of!
Sorry to include your whole post here, but I wanted to tell you that your reaction is actually normal for us worriers. It is the unknown that scares us, but when there is something that could be going on, we know and it isn't as frightening. I read in a book once we would more apt to prefer to know something, even if it isn't the best of news, than to wonder and guess and torture ourselves over something we can't grasp.
Yes I agree with you wiskersonkitten.
Maybe it is time to end this thread,the poor guy must feel like shit with us all putting the boot in.Remember he is Unwell.Most of you are kind and helpful,but you keep feeding him,maybe that is what wants.
wiskersonkittens
08-03-11, 03:03
One other point I would like to make Eggy is, and I say this with the best intention and because I do care ..... STOP READING MEDICAL STUFF! I glanced back at some of your old posts and it almost feels like a "see what I found" kind of thing.
You will literally drive yourself crazy. I was like that a few years ago, in fact something I read panicked me so much I ended up in the ER. When the nurse was taking my info I said I had read online .... nuff said. He told me to NEVER, EVER do that. He said anyone can print anything online that they want to -- it isn't approved and so forth. He said he could go on there and make something up and someone like me would believe it. Cyberchondriacs he called people who do this. I think you are one of them. Many of us are and were. From that point on I haven't googled my symptoms. Eggy, based on what I have been through, I really thought I have had everything, but reading your other posts I'm like .... what is THAT? How did you find THIS? You seem to keep digging deeper and deeper -- you have moved past the mundane and gotten into some things that a lot of us haven't even heard of. I feel this has become an obsession for you. I want so much for you to get better so you can find peace and be happy again -- I know it is hard, but we can only do so much for you here. Please talk to your doctor about getting some help and he or she can refer you to someone, and/or give you something to help you through this.
I hope you feel better soon. Hugs, Wiskers ~
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