good day...ish

[sarahblonde32]

this weekk i have tried to be more positive....forced myself to be in a 'good mood' and today i managed to overcome some feelings that were arising. 3 times today i could feel 'it' coming...and i managed to get rid of them...i put the radio on....sang, tried to feel happy, ate sweets, distracted myself, so yay good day!
cant tell how long it will last, as now i have escaped home, shut the door and im happy...but tomorow...well lets see.

sarah x

[~glowly worm~]

Yay :) Thats fantastic Sarah,

keep at it as im finding it helps to test the waters more and more and that way it gets a bit less of hold panic wise, embrace the happy imp in ya ;) x

[sarahblonde32]

well i just dont understand this thing. Yesterday great day, today rubbish, had to fight it soooo many times, i have no idea what the trigger is. i had no fear today, i wasnt tired, i went to the gym, been shopping, yet all day is been there...the only thing that is different today is that i was a bit down, didnt have the positivity i had yesterday.

[~glowly worm~]

Hey again,

you will find the positivity comes and goes... when im on an up i find that it does anyway and hen the more i hang in there the more up times i get...really hope this is the case for you.

Its hard not knowing the cause but youre doing great just by keeping on going and hopefully...happy you will return in the morning if not sometime very very soon x

[sarahblonde32]

so today was rubbish. i couldnt stop it...toilet again. been trying so hard to deflect it, not thinking, breathing, eating sweets, singing, smiling, chanting 'fight it' etc...!
today was the first time i actually a twinge of 'fear' in a crowded place. I was beginning to wonder if this was some kind of social anxiety or not as i had never feared going out...but today i went to the local ice rink, as i looked at the people skating round i suddenly felt something...like fear...but i dont know what it is i am scared of?what is social anxiety? im not scared of being hurt, of something happening..so what is it that im scared of? just because i am not at home?