Where's that independence feeling everyone talked about?

[ama]

Hi Guys,

After passing my driving test in December I've finally got round to sorting out a car for myself. Christmas and new year got in the way and then my work moved offices so it's been quite busy. I've finally found some time and have a car in my sights which I'm hoping to be getting in a couple of weeks.

Due to my work moving I've been relying on the bus and taxis over the past couple of weeks. My boyfriend has just finished a temp job where he no longer needs his car so I thought I could drive his until I get mine. So, I tried it out the other week. To my surprise it was a horrible drive home from work where I stalled four times. I'm terrified to get back in the car now. I know I need to but I can't help but feel negative about the whole situation. I'm never going to be able to drive again. I've never going to be able to drive on my own. These are the thoughts I've been having. I'm concerned they're not going to go away and that I will never drive and I really don't want that to happen. I went through an awful lot to get my licence.

So, now I'm thinking, maybe I should get an automatic car rather than a manual. Some of the pressure comes off when I think about getting an automatic car. I won't need to worry about stalling the car. But on the other hand I know people will question the fact that I'm getting an automatic rather than a manual.

I'm all wind up about this whole situation just some comforting and positive words would be helpful I think. I just want to feel excited and positive about driving again. The feeling of independence when I past my test. I don't feel that any more. It just feels like another burden on my shoulders.

Thanks for listening. :scared15:

[nomorepanic]

Driving comes with practice and if I was you I would go out for a drive at the weekend when there was no pressure on you to get to work or anything else.

Get out in the countryside and get the confidence back and you will soon love it!

[Dahlia]

I agree with Nicola. After I passed my driving test, I still wasn't confident. I drove like an old lady. And I stalled a lot and jumped about like a kangaroo. 20 years later, I wouldn't be without my car.

Maybe build up your confidence by driving in low traffic, rather than rush hour, for a bit? And it doesn't matter if you stall for a bit - you'll soon get the hang of it. Every car is different, you probably just need to get used to your bf's car's clutch/biting point etc - it takes a lot of drivers a few days at least to get comfortable with a different car.

If you are embarrassed when stalling, maybe get one of those 'P' plates for the car, which shows other people you have only just passed your test?

[dread]

When I first passed my test, I didnt get a car for 2 months...by which point I thought i could never drive. I stalled, I scraped, I stalled some more and then I even drove into the back of a bus! But i did it again and again and again and then managed to drive for 4 years (no accidents!) quite happily.

But if you're really struggling you could see about some "assistance" just get you going. Is there anyone like a parent or friend that's understanding of your situation that can calmly talk you through it? Maybe take it out for a spin at a quiet time of day, somewhere not so busy?
If you're really worried, you could call your driving instructor and request they come give you a lesson in your car, as you're struggling a little, that might give you a confidence boost.