Its my Birthday... and i feel dreadful!!

[fairyclairy]

I feel awful - i could cry!

Im absolutly exhausted, my legs and arms feel so tense and weak/achy which is a horrible sensation, i have no energy at all! I feel on edge and irritable and i just want to curl up and go to sleep...

Its my birthday today, so as you can imagine, i have pressure on me to be fine and excited and happy...... i feel far from that!

Iv been very anxious over the last few days due to relationship troubles with my partner... iv found things out which i need to talk to him about but iv not had chance and now we're going for a meal with my family tonight and il have to act all nice and 'in love' when all i want to do is cry and scream at him!

I cant hold it in anymore.. i feel so poorly! Im tempted to just cancel tonight and get a take-away, but then i think thats giving in to it!!

I really havnt got the energy to get ready, let alone sit and talk in a restaurant all night.... im scared, terrified even..

I feel trapped and pressurised into doing all these things for my birthday, i just want to scream!

Im sorry for ranting, i just feel so poorly.... are these normal anxiety symptoms?? I feel soooo exhausted that even walking to the bathroom is a struggle x

[teez]

firstly happy birthday hun,,and as its your birthday you should do what you want or need to do,,phone your family tell them you feel a little sad and down,,and your more than happy to attempt the meal if they really want to,,but because your a bit depressed can they excuse your mood,,this way they wont expect you to be full of the joys of spring,,they might even suggest a take away at home,, you need to talk to your partner before you work yourself up into such a pitch you shout at him,,you need to hear him out as well as him take onboard what youve heard and how you feel about it,,,please dont expect yourself to be full of it when youve so much on your mind,,make yourself a drink,,sit down put on some good music but not soppy that makes you feel worse,,have some chocolate or something nice and tell yourself the pressures off for the next hour its time for you ,,as its your day,,

[fairyclairy]

Thank you - after i wrote this my mum came upstairs and asked if everything was ok (think shes noticed iv been abit down the last couple of days) and iv just got everything out and had a long talk about my partner (we think hes bordering on alcohol depency and its just too much for me and i dont know wot to do) she was really supportive and i feel much better for getting it off my chest!

We've cancelled the meal out tonight and will rearrange it for when im feeling abit better and we're having a take-away at home instead... this will then give me chance to talk to my partner after tea up in my room, without going another day of pretending everything is ok...

Im dreading tonight, i dont know how he'l react and i want to make sure i get everything out because usually i hold back and never tell him how i really feel but iv got to be strong tonight...

I still feel exhausted but when i was talking to mum, i was shaking so much and crying, that i think its released some of the adrenaline because my legs and arms dont feel as weak or tense anymore... i just feel drained now!

Thank you for your support x

[teez]

he might surprise you and be glad its out in the open,,you could see if his ready to get help,,this can be a turning point for you both,,,im glad your mum was there for you,,its what us mums do best, try to calm yourself now ,,because this has bound to have drained you,,im really sorry your birthday has been so full of worry,,take good care of you xxxxxxx

[Vanilla Sky]

Sorry to hear you not too good and on your birthday as well , I hope you had a nice day anyway , Wish you well
Paige xx

:flowers:

[Emz]

I'm glad you've got things sorted with your mum. As that advert used to say 'its good to talk'. I was going to suggest that you moved your birthday celebrations to another day and focused on yourself tonight. Its your birthday afterall, you've gotta do things that make you happy chuck!

As for the alcohol dependant partner, it must be very hard for you. Its hard enough being a non-anxious person but as an anxious person you must have all the worries at the front of your mind, and you're probably reading up on all the worst case situations (I know I would be haha) It is easy enough to get help for alcohol dependancy if thats what you want, my best mate is a substance abuse social worker so I hear all the ins and outs about it.

[ditzygirl]

Ah poor you, Happy Birthday hun.

Sounds like you have a lovely, lovely mum.

Be reassured that anyone is your situation would be feeling stressed, so go easy on yourself for feeling unwell. This sitatuation would make anyone feel poorly.

By now, you have hopefully talked to your partner, and you are probably feeling drained today.

That's okay, this is big stuff.

I hope you got an outcome that makes you happy, but whatever happens take good care of you. Don't rush into anything and be kind to yourself.

It sounds as if you have a fab family who will be there to help you though this.

You have underestimated your strength of character, facing something like this is very hard and takes guts. You should be proud of yourself for being sensible and caring enough to sort this before your relationship goes any further.

Sending you monster hugs hun and we are here for you anytime at all.:bighug1:
:birthday::birthday::birthday1::birthday1::birthda y1::birthday1::bighug::bighug:

[fairyclairy]

Thank you everyone for your support..

Last night was hard - i tried talking to him but he just didnt get it, and didnt understand the problems i had with it. He doesnt think there is an issue and it didnt really go well - he turned it round saying everything he was annoyed at me for (mainly for having panic attacks and not being 'normal') - we decided to sleep on it and meet up later today to talk but i cant see things changing unless he's had a real think lastnight when he went home.... we'll see what happens later! xx

[ditzygirl]

Oh hun,

FIRSTLY YOU ARE NORMAL!!!

YOU SUFFER FROM PANIC ATTACKS - so do thousands of people!! you are NOT alone or a FREAK!! so please don't take that to heart.

Good luck today, i hope it turns out how you want it too. Dont accept second best though, if his drinking makes u unhappy.

Be strong and believe in your urself, you deserve happinessxx

[KayleighJane]

Oh hun,

FIRSTLY YOU ARE NORMAL!!!

YOU SUFFER FROM PANIC ATTACKS - so do thousands of people!! you are NOT alone or a FREAK!! so please don't take that to heart.

Good luck today, i hope it turns out how you want it too. Dont accept second best though, if his drinking makes u unhappy.

Be strong and believe in your urself, you deserve happinessxx

hear hear! totally agree, you are what you are, you are normal and like ditzy said thousands of people suffer with anxiety, I didn't realise how many until I joined this forum but knowing that I am still normal is a huge comfort to me. good luck with everything x

[Kristopher :)]

on xmas day i had a panic attack that was on and off for about 4hours non-stop.. after it stopped i was drained of energy and felt like crying for no reason, its a **** mate