hospitals!! aaahh

[sarahblonde32]

so i went to visit someone in hospital yesterday, i hate the places, the smell, the noises (beeping and alarms!)
i got throught it, didnt stay long. But then it got me all depressed, thinking how much i dont want my parents to get old and have to go in to hospitals. i came out crying, i never want to have to go and visit my loved ones in there :weep:, and what if they do have to go in..and i will obviously go and see them.
depressed about everything today.

[nomorepanic]

I spent 2 months in hospital and I hate them too !

You may not have to go and see your parents in there though.

[aquarian]

I have similar feelings about hospitals. Over the last two years, both of my parents have had extended stays in hospital following operations. Although it was good to visit them regularly and thereby help them to perk up again, it was still rather a shock to see them in there looking unfamiliarly grey and weak. I coped fine with it at the time, but I think the experiences left a big impression on me in the longer run, and I wonder whether my subsequent lengthy episodes of anxiety and low moods are connected to it. I've certainly felt that everything around me is much more fragile than it seemed before, and I haven't been able to turn that around into a positive viewpoint.

Although you may be focussed inwardly at the moment, try also to be aware that you've successfully endured something that made you feel uncomfortable in order to give the person that you visited a pleasant surprise which may speed up their recovery. You can feel justly proud of that.

-- aquarian

[sarahblonde32]

hi,
yes i can look at it that way, he was pleased to see me. I have been feeling a bit down ever since. I went out with my dad today, it was nice to see him and i think he liked it too, but i feel so guilty that i cant spend much time with them, he would have loved me to stay for tea or something..but i just have to always rush off, have to get home. it makes me sad that im being selfish.
must get over this.
sarah

[sarahblonde32]

thanks, yes i can look it that way, he was pleased to see me. I have been feeling down ever since. guilty.. I spent some time with my dad today, which was nice, he was pleased, but i feel so guilty that i always have to rush off, i have to get back home. I think he would liked me to stay for tea, but i just cant. i feel so selfish.
sarah

[sarahblonde32]

well i thoguht the first post didnt come out so it looks like it went twice..damn computers!

[aquarian]

For what it's worth, your feelings seem perfectly rational and understandable to me. So, even though I know that it's horrid to feel that way, I don't think you need to worry about why you're feeling that way.

Also, I don't think it's useful for you to label yourself as "selfish". It's not possible for you to be pulled in all different directions at once, and you need to allow time for yourself as well. If you'd like to spend more time with your dad, then that's fine -- note it down as an aspiration to fulfill when time and your other commitments permit. I'm having some similar issues at the moment, but I recognise that I need to get on with my own life as well, and I'm trying not to allow feelings of needless guilt to enter the equation.

Hope you feel better soon. All the best.

-- aquarian

[Bill]

I did used to hate hospitals but recently I've spent 9 hours alone at the hospital and I've got frequent visits to come but I've actually quite enjoyed it because of the respite and the friendly people I've met, both staff and other members of the public. I just feel sorry for the NHS nurses who are being overworked, underpaid and neglected when we couldn't do without them. I'd much rather be with nurses than be ill at home with no one looking after or caring about me.:hugs: