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pips
21-03-04, 00:05
Hi my name's Pip's. [:I]

I have sufferd with General Anxiety & Panic Attacks [}:)] for 2 years now.
I have only just got a computer & am very new to all this! I typed a message earlier but it went into Active Topics. I did something wrong! ? [:0].
I Would love to hear from anyone who would like to reply. Any hints on using the forum & replying to people etc... would be gratefully received!

Many Thanks

Pip's [:X]

nomorepanic
21-03-04, 00:20
Hi Pips

Active topics is a way people can see who has posted since they last visited. When you next come in then click on that so you can see what posts are new.

Your post is still there under MISC - I see you replied.

You seem to be doing ok at replying - can I help with anything specific?

Nicola

sadie
21-03-04, 01:23
Hi Pips,

Welcome to the forum. Just familarise yourself with the different message threads etc and that should give you a bit more confidence on posting a message. You are doing ok though. There is loads of useful information regarding panic attacks and anxiety on the home page, plus there are loads of personal messages from fellow sufferers who know how you are feeling.

Let us know how you are feeeling and what symptoms you experience etc and we will all try and reassure you that you are ok.

Keep in touch

sadie

red
22-03-04, 00:16
Hi Pips!
Welcome aboard - glad you managed it! I see you have found how to use the "Smilies"! Well done with the computer - you will be really glad you found this site - everyone is brilliant and very helpful.
Tell us some more about how you manage your anxiety and panic attacks and maybe how they affect you.

Keep up the good work - take care.

Red
x

me
22-03-04, 10:25
Hello pips, well its good to hear from someone whos new to this computer stuff, im rubbish at it but with lots of help and lots of making mistakes im getting my head around it.. ha ha. Until i found this site i never switched the computer on but look at me now im on here everyday, this site is brill and has helped me so much and everyone are wonderful. Keep in touch from mary x

pips
22-03-04, 16:53
Hi Red & Me, Many thanks for replying. I try to take one day at a time with anxiety/panic but it's not easy! The coping methods i use are natural remedies i.e The Bach Flower Remedies,also i find burning aromatherpy oils helps. I try to preoccupy my mind with other things when i feel really bad but that's easier said then done! I hope you are both well & happy Take care Pip'sX

pips
22-03-04, 17:05
Hi Sadie, Thanks for replying and for the useful info. Some of my Symptons/Emotions i experience are : Fear, Pulpatations, Shakey, Scared of losing control, tearful/depressed very lonely etc...
My worse thing being is that i tend to worry & think far too much and am far to oversensitive for my own good! This website is Fab though! Take Care all the best Pip's.X

Meg
22-03-04, 17:49
Dear Pips,

Its such a hard thing to overcome but you can get there ...

Your symptoms are very common and have been experienced by most of us on here at one time or another..

' i tend to worry & think far too much and am far to oversensitive ' This is the key -leading to the physical symptoms once you've done some thinking and added 2 and 3 and made 6 .

Keep posting. I used to live on Bach remedies.



Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

me
23-03-04, 09:54
morning pips, its great to hear from you x oh you sound just like me, everything you wrote in your last message was me. i woke up this morning so scared which is so frustrating as ive been feeling so well, i think i now even worry about worring about not worring!!!! does that make sense...i have an old friend popping round today and thats making me worry....why? i feel so stupid. how have you been feeling? good i hope x im now going to have a slurp of rescue rememdy and a bath to wake myself up. have a good day take care from mary x

Meg
23-03-04, 16:56
How was the day Mary ?


Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

me
23-03-04, 17:27
Hi Meg, thanks for your lovely messages. The day hasnt ended too bad, i saw my friend which was nice.... dont know why i was making myself so nervous im such a wally at times, then i went to have my eyes tested which made me panic alittle but i did the breathing which helped. Now home and safe x i hope you are ok x bye for now from mary xx

pips
24-03-04, 14:35
Hi Mary, Thanks 4 replying, I glad it went well with your friend. I feel exactly the same as u yes the worry thing makes alot of sense. I tend to get Fear of Fear if that makes any sense?. I get so scared 2 if i am meeting someone etc even if i know them well. Mad isn't it! The silly thing is it normally goes well, i seem to be my own worst enemy & wind myself up. Do u find u do that 2?. I too get scared in the mornings wondering what the day ahead will bring etc... I wish i could think less & be more care free & have a whole anxity free day! I hope everthing is well with you. Take good care of yourself. Pip's XX

pips
24-03-04, 14:54
Hi Radar. Thanks 4 replying. I know what u mean i'm sure i would be alot better if i didn't worry and dwell on things so much! If i try to be hard i end up in tears crazy hey! I find i am always trying to please people all of the time. I am learning that is pretty much impossible though! I am glad i have found this website. It really helps talking and sharing problems.
I hope all is well with you. Take good care. Pip's

paul009
24-03-04, 15:03
hi pips
the attack works on fear, "fear or flight" the more you fear something the worse the attack will get its your brain playing nasty tricks on you.my turning point was about 6 months ago i was going to pick my little girl up from play group and she had asked for a kinder egg, on the way i stopped at the shop and all of a sudden the overwhelming fear of dread just hit me, i could not even get out the car!!!!! but then i thought its going to be worse if i turn up with no egg !! so i started to tell myself that buying a sweetie was not going to hurt walked in the shop took a deep breath and bought the egg felt like i was going to stop breathing at any second, since that day i tell myself that the situation im going into will not hurt and im not going to die or anything else and i feel im getting better, a long road but its working

paul
norfolk nutter[:o)]

Meg
24-03-04, 17:27
Pips - tears are fine. It's an emotional release just as a panic attack is..Do the tears and be hard and achieve something too. Not everyday, but to make progress. I used to cry my way along motorways but made sure I did do it - along with the vomiting bit too. Then I rewarded myself and basked in the achievement for a few days before doing the same thing again just to prove it wasn't a fluke.

The pleasing people all the time is a different issue - an assertiveness issue, having that trait does put a lot of strain on you.

The dwelling is the real key. Plan things for morning so you don't have such a long anticipatory time.

Keep posting - keep doing .


Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

pips
24-03-04, 18:45
Hi Paul, Many Thanks for your message, I was glad to read you feel you are getting better! It's really spooky how it just grips you though. I know the key is to Positive thinking & telling yourself everything will be fine. I'ts the beliving bit that's hard! You got the egg in the end though, so that's good in itself. Have you had any more attacks since then? Like yourself i find if i fight the feeling's the worse they become. They are much easier to deal with if you can accept them. Once again it is easier said then done!
Hope all is well and the road ahead is smooth for you!
Take care Pip's.

pips
24-03-04, 19:02
Hi Radar. Many Thanks for your words of wisdom! It's a comfort to know there are understanding people. As this World can be so cruel at times! Well done for making the motorway trips! You do tend to feel better once you have done something. It takes alot of courage though, sometimes its easier to just hide, but i know that is not the answer! I feel silly at times for congratulating myself if i have been out & coped though. It feels unnormal like why shouldn't i cope it's only a day out or whatever? I get angry with myself. I know fighting the feeling's only makes matters worse. I must try to go with the Flo! Are things easier with you now?
Hope all's well. Take Care Pip's.X

me
24-03-04, 22:05
hello pips, only mary here x oh bless you, we are so much alike all my life i have lived for helping and pleasing everyone just wanting them to like me.im alwys putting others first before myself ive been seeing a counsellor and she says this is one of the reasons i have started to have panic attacks and anxitey i went to see the mental health team last week cause i really thought i was going mad but yippee they told me i wasnt, they told me i had to start thinking of myself get some hobbies and only worry about my real friends they said to me i wouldnt drive my car in 1st gear at 100 miles an hour as it would blow up and thats what ive done to my body over the last few years and its finally burst my counsellor says i have to like myself but i honestly get so nervous even when my best friend comes round just incase i say or do the wrong thing but i shouldnt because she likes me for me, its taken me so long to understand myself i used to think i was a horrible person and still do at times ,why? i wouldnt hurt a fly but with the love and help from my husband, family, close friends, counsellor and this wonderful site im getting there and so will you x goodness ive waffled....sorry x well my lovely you take care, bye for now mary x

Meg
24-03-04, 23:37
Yes thankfully Pips . I'm all sorted now.

Don't ever feel silly in congratulating yourself and helping making yourself feel better about your day. We all can do with a bit of an enhanced self esteem - its still valid even if we do our own enhancing !
You know how much of an effort it has been to go out, so who better to share the joy of success.

Everyone has different self expectations at various times of life. Some people may never ever drive but they do parachute jump . .. and that's ok too !




Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

paul009
25-03-04, 12:27
hiya pips
yes i still have the odd blip as i call it after suffering for just over 7 years its bound to happen, ive slowed my life right down and started putting ME first for a change.
its slow but once you start it does get easier and easier but it does not happen over night keep the good thoughts and tell the bad ones to BOG OFF and thats not "buy one get one free"

paul
the norfolk nutter[:o)]

no one REMEMBER no one has ever died from having a panic attack.ok troops be carefull out there

Bryn Powell
25-03-04, 14:45
Hello Pips, As you can see from this site there are many others suffering from the same "problems." I've had it for 6 years now and the first 4 were hell. I'll just reiterate what others have said. Congratulate yourself - every night when I park the car I wave my fist in the air and shout "Yes!" Remember that the things you worry about, you've done a hundred times before and nothing terrible has ever happened, has it?
Bryn

pips
25-03-04, 16:09
Hi again Mary.
Thanks for your lovely message. Glad to hear you are coming along so well. I think & feel exactly the same. I take everything to heart and always blame myself. I don't have many friends & have a very small family. I don't know why as like yourself i wouldn't hurt a fly i try so hard to please people(maybe to hard?) Some examples being:
A close friend of mine is moving soon, i found out by looking on the Internet that her house has sold. she still hasn't told me & that was about 3 wks ago. I appreciate she has a busy life but it still hurt's. I also started writing to a fellow sufferer we got on really well. All of a sudden she stopped writing, i have also texted her but just get no reply. Another silly thing is another penfriend promised to meet up as she had just moved into my Area. I was nervous very but so excited about meeting her but once again she never contacted me. The trouble is i tend to blame myself totally and think why don't people like me when all i do is try so very hard. the silly thing is if someone does make an effort i get in such an anxious state about meeting them etc... Mad isn't it i just can't seem to win!
Sorry for waffaling and seeming like a real sado! I'm not looking for self-pity either. I just wish i could stop blaming myself and taking everything to heart. O to be "CARE FREE" Anyway i will stop playing the violin now! I just find it really helps to talk about your feelings. Rather then bottle them all up! This site really help's too!
I hope you are feeling well look after youself & Take Care of yourself! Thanks again for you kindness. Pip'sXXXX

pips
25-03-04, 16:29
Hi Radar,
I am so glad things are sorted for you now.
Thanks once again for your kind words and support.
I get so pessimistic at times. It seems crazy but I get afraid of thinking Optimistic incase i jinx things and they go wrong! This makes me feel so sad at times and not normal! (Whatever normal may be?)
Must learn to practice more positive thinking. I wonder why it is easier to think negative though? I suppose those horid feelings of Fear, Anxity & Panic don't help much!
I hope all is well with you. I'm of to practice my "POF" now "Positive Optimistic Feelings" :-]
It's easier to spell negative as well! Whoop's that's not a very good start. Will keep trying. Pip'sXX.

pips
25-03-04, 16:34
Hi Paul,
Cheers for the advice.
I will keep telling those bad thought's to Bog Off! It's good you are making progress and i hope those blip's are getting less and less for you!
Take Care & Stay Happy : - ]
Pip's.

pips
25-03-04, 16:43
Thank's for the message Bryn.
I know you are right i know nothing dreadful is going to happen(hopefully)!
It is just the beliving part that is hard to conquer!
It's really Fab having this website with such understanding people. : - ]
Well done to you though, and i will practice my congratulations!
I hope all is well with you.
Take care.
Pip's

me
25-03-04, 20:07
Oh Pips we come from the same mould, oh and i really do know how you feel i know from my own experiences if people let me down i never make a fuss or get angry i just go with it (normally as im quite relieved because ill be getting my knickers in a right twist about seeing them ha ha)but if i need to change plans people can make me feel really bad so then i go into over drive!!!Sometimes i wish i wasnt me, i work in a huge place and there are so many strong characters there, i wish i was like them but ive tried and i just cant do it, its not me, it was quite funny really cause my friend said i had to get harder and say no more but i ended up feeling worst than if i helped everyone like you say we just cant win x i really know what you mean about getting it all off your chest it really does help x I hope you have had a lovely day im now off babysitting. now you take care love from mary x

pips
28-03-04, 16:15
Hi Mary, Thank's for your message,
I know what you mean, about wishing you were stronger! But hey we must be pretty strong to cope the way that we do! i expect most of the people you work with probably just think, another day going to work. Where as we have to battle to do that! and many times we do succeed. Although we may not feel like we have!
I like yourself find it difficult to say "NO" & when i do say the word i go on an automatic guilt trip thinking i have let that person down. I should have said yes! Just can't win with myself. The thing is i know i am my own worst enemy & i punish myself mentally. I just wish i didn't feel so Guity about things. At least we have emotion's though, and that's good!
It lovely to know you understand.
I spent all day Friday working myself up as i work with Adults who are blind & partially sighted with some learning disabilities. Reason being was i had a 12 hr shift plus sleep-in on the Saturday. When i have a long shift i always wind myself up so much about going in. The shift is over now. it was fine we even took them to the cinema in the evening. So i got that paid for and paid for watching the film which was excellent. So it's madness why i always work myself up.

pips
28-03-04, 16:29
Sorry Mary must have pressed the wrong button, and sent reply.
Do you cope well with work?
I don't know about yourself, but i end up winding myself up about most thing's really! O well at least i can admit it and laugh about it. I find i am worse if i take it seriously it seems to control me more. I find you have to be pretty mad in my job anyway!(Well it help's)
I hope you are well & and have had a good weekend.
Take care of yourself & Stay Happy & Healthy! : - ]
Love Pip's
XXXX

kate
28-03-04, 16:41
Hi Pips,

I also find it hard to say no and also feel guilty if I let people down.

I only work 3 hours a day, as a dinner lady, not exactly rocket science!

But, I always get worked up and nervous before I go. I don't even know what I'm nervous about, but I always get butterflies in my stomach and feel like running in the opposite direction to work!

I am always fine once I get there but then, the following morning, back come the same old feelings.

I think I now just automatically feel nervous when thinking of going to work, just need to stop the thoughts really!!

Take care

Kate x

me
28-03-04, 20:15
hello pips its lovely to hear from you x quess what? i do the same work as you... well kind of, i have worked in a hospital looking after people on a secure ward with learning disabilities for the last 10 years, over the years i have found it really stressfull at times ive even drove to work got to the gates and thought no i cant face it today and turned back to go home then turned round again and forced myself through the gates, its silly because when im there im fine. i run an art room for the day service section which i love and the clients are not a problem but some of the staff have been really horrible to me over the years, my friend says to me its because im an easy target as i never answer back but i have got better over the years. on friday my boss came to see me as ive been off for a few weeks and she brought round a get well card for me from the clients and they had all written me alittle note which meant so much she said everyone was missing me and it was really quiet without me there which was lovely but they only know the bubberly mary they never see the very insecure person at home worring about everyone and everything. im really nervous about going back but im sure ill be ok when i get there. have you had a good weekend? hope you have. i went to a party last night for my friends birthday i really didnt want to go i was so frightened and thought what if i have a panic but i did it yippee mind you i had to go and sit in my friends bedroom a couple of times as it all got to much i think im getting old i couldnt handle the loud music ha ha well my love be intouch soon take care of yourself love from mary xx
ps kate hope your feeling ok x when your on the way to work think of all your best things you like doing to keep your mind busy, it sounds so easy doesnt it take care love from mary x

pips
29-03-04, 15:44
Hi Kate,
Thank's for your message. Who do we carry so much guilt around ir achieves absolutely NOTHING!
So If I know this why do i still do it, i ask myself. Crazy Hey!
You are so right about the thoughts aswell. I don't know about you but i like yourself don't start till the afternoon so i find i have much more time to think & wind myself up! Especially when i have a sleep-in! Like you i am ok once i have got there. If i do get nervy i focus harder on the task i'm doing.
Like Mary say's just try to keep your mind busy thinking about other thing's you like to do. It's easy to say though, those nasty anxiety thoughts just keep creeping in! I find i get anxious on day's off at home to so i can't seem win really ha ha.
At least once you have made it through those work door's your mind is kept busy!.
I hope things are well with you
Take care
Pip'sXX

pips
29-03-04, 16:47
Hi Mary,
Thank's for your message. I know i find once you have had time off. It is always more nerve racking & difficult going back. Then once you are there you soon get back into the swing of thing's and wondered why you spent so much time worrying! We still do it though. When do you start back? I will be thinking you.
I know what you mean about putting on a brave face though. I do as well.
I work in a college on the residential side. The college Director said to me the other day, you are always happy & have a smile on your face Pippa. I just nodded & smiled : - ] I thought to myself if only he knew!
The amount of times i think that's it & i pick up the phone to say i won't be in today. I don't make the call though! I always end up going in. Plus I'm to anxious about making the phone call anyway! He he. I would spend the rest of the day thinking i had let everyone down & feel worse.
That's why i always try hard not to let the anxiety/panic beat me! I do appreciate how difficult it can be though!
I have an extra long weekend coming up. I start Sat 9am & finish Mon 7am with 2 sleep-in's in between. You won't believe it but it's still 3 weeks away & i have the Easter Holidays off before hand. Yet still i am worrying about this weekend. I am better if i know a few days before so i don't wind myself up. I must practise positive thinking though as else it can spoil the time you do have off!
I did't have a bad weekend thank's I did not finish work till Sunday morning. So it went really quickly.
Well done you for going to the party and coping. I expect you felt good that you went though. If you didn't go you probably would have felt guilty for not going.
I find that I get anxious about doing something. If I don't do it I feel anxious that I should of. if that makes sense!(It can be a viscious circle!)
Your job sound's good, I find like yourself the client's can be fine. It's the staff at times and yes people can be cruel and some spot an easy target a mile away. Well you have just got to think you are a million x better then them. I personally would rather be the sensitive person that i am then be cruel & hurt people's feelings!
I do hope things have improved for you now!
Hope all is well with you & you are feeling better.
Take Good Care
Keep in touch
Love Pip's
XXXX

kate
30-03-04, 09:06
Hiya Pips,

I try to keep myself busy before I go to work.

Trouble is, I wake up and within a minute or so, I am wondering and worrying about the day ahead.

So, the nervous feelings and butterflies start straight away.

I have suffered on and off for 20 odd years but the last 5 years I have got a lot worse.

I have been through meds and councelling and I get really fed up with myself especially when I read on here how well people are doing.

I imagine people reading my posts are thinking "blimey, don't she moan? and why doesn't she just do something to help herself?".

The fight just seems to have gone out of me and I no longer even try to make things better. Pathetic isn't it?

Just feels like so much hard work and that I end up still fearing the same old things.

Yes, once I'm actually at work I don't feel half as bad, just keep my head down and get on with it!

Hope you have a good day today, Pips!

Kate x

me
31-03-04, 11:12
hello pips x sorry its taken so long to reply, i had a bad day yesterday! boo hoo to bad days. oh its so good to hear from you, your so right about feeling if you dont do or go somewhere you feel guilty but the thought of going is so scary... in a little while im popping in to work as its my lovely managers last day and im so frightened about seeing everyone, its daft!! you sound well, which is fab x take care.i must dash or ill never get to work love from mary xxxx
Kate please dont think we think you moan we really do understand take care love from mary x

pips
31-03-04, 11:55
Hi Kate, :)

Many Thank's for your message.

I do understand & know how you feel.
I often wish i was the one writing a recovery story! Saying that i'm not a sufferer anymore. Unfortunately i am to pessimistic for that, even though i do practice Positive thinking. I find its the beliving part that's soooooooo very hard! :(.

Sometimes i wonder if the feelings will ever totally disapear [?]

I also feel like yourself. Wondering & worrying that people think i moan all of the time.

Try not to think that of youself though i certanly do not think that of you! I am always here if you want to chat. I find it help's so much to talk with other's that understand.

I also find that if i can laugh about it. That take's the edge off a little bit. Not alway's easy though! keep renting thoses comedy's out of the video shop. :D

Went into work yesterday, spent all morning getting anxious & irritable with myself. Finished work now and the shift was fine!
We just seem to punish ourself [}:)] Crazy hey [:o)]

I alway's seem to imagine thing's are worse then they are aswell.
An example being i suffer with IBS. Everyday i feel so very bloated.
I eat a healthy diet drink plenty of water exersise. I do all the right thing's but still feel so yucky at times. :(

Me being me though i imagine it's something sinister inside. I am positive it isn't as i have had tests done & they were negative.
The trouble is the more upset & angry with myself i get. The worse it is suprise suprise [:0] then that triggers of Panic/Anxiety and i end up in a worst state! It's a vicious circle at times. I wish i didn't wind myself up so much. I always need a reason why thing's happen ( eg being bloated is just so vague it could be anything).

I must learn to accept that sometime's there isn't always a reason and stop searching for one!

Do you find you do that at all? Or am i just MAD? [:p]

Sorry if i have waffled to much.

I hope thing's are well with you.

Take Care & Keep Positive.

Pip's [:X] XX

pips
31-03-04, 12:50
Hi Mary,

So sorry to hear that you had a bad day! I hope you a feeling better. Remember i am here if you want to chat, you are not alone!

I hope it goes well for you in work, and your anxiety was under control for you.

It's not daft to me getting scared i totally understand. I get just the same. You are right though it does feel daft especially afterwards. If it all goes well you think what a load of unnecessary worry that was for nothing!

Still doesn't stop me doing it though. (whoops!)

Take good care and keep Positive. : -]

Love Pip's. X X

kate
31-03-04, 15:19
Hiya Pip's,

Thanks for the reply!

It's the "always waiting for something bad to happen" thinking that is so tiring and troublesome, I always find.

Worrying about what could happen and most of the time, not even knowing what you are exactly frightened of.

It's all so vague in my mind. I just know that I'm fearing something.

I sometimes get things into perspective especially when I have seen something on telly where someone has cancer or something.

I then tell myself how grateful I should be that I have a nice home and family and that I should be enjoying each day and not spending it in fear.

Unfortunately, these feelings soon pass to be replaced with the old negative, fearful ones.

It's all such an uphill struggle isn't it?

Still, we keep going!

Take care

Kate x

pips
01-04-04, 14:12
Hi Kate,

Thank's your reply.

I could have wrote that myself! That is exaxtly how i feel and i understand totally where you are coming from!

I'm always afraid of what each day will bring. Which can set off those anxiety panicky feelings.

I try to organise myself and write down what needs to be done. I think i have list's for everything! I do find that helps at times. Sometimes i organise to far ahead and thing's don't go to plan! I wish i could learn to take one day at a time!

You are right it is so very tiring waiting for something to go wrong! I can't explain why or what exactly either. As you say it's just a feeling, and nothing might not go wrong at all.

It scares me to be to optimistic though. I'm afraid something will happen then. MADNESS HEY!

At least i am not alone!

I get angry with myself and feel so selfish at times! I am lucky and there are alot of people worse off then myself.

I watched This Morning and there was a lady who was dying, and she did a little memory box for each of her family. I was crying watching it thinking how lucky i am.

Like yourself though those feelings soon pass and i am back to a worrying wreck again!

Will we ever win?

I just get so scared bad things will happen, and how i will cope when they do! It is a vicious circle though as the more we think the more we wind ourselves up!

Life goes on though and I must keep practising to become STRONGER and more POSITIVE! : - ]

Notice the capitals! Might work if i write it bigger? That's one theory anyway!

Hope all's well

Take Care

Pip'sXX

kate
01-04-04, 19:11
Hiya Pip's,

Thanks for the reply.

I too can never be optimistic in case the worst then happens and the bubble is burst!

Always look at the worst outcome and you can't then be disappointed!

Makes for a very boring life though, doesn't it?

I've been going to bed and falling straight asleep but then waking up between 4 and 5 am every morning for the last week.

I can't then go back to sleep due to the worrying thoughts.

I don't know if it's due to the lack of sleep but the depersonalisation feelings are dreadful at the moment.

Anyway, Pip's, keep going with those capital letters POSITIVE thoughts!!!

Kate x

me
03-04-04, 13:24
hello pips and kate only mary here oh ive been reading your messages above and i can relate to eveything x and kate for the last 3 weeks ive been waking up so early, its my worst time, i just lay there and worry about anything and everything ive tried getting up but sometimes its so early its stupid and i cant keep my eyes open at 7pm.....and then if i fall asleep early i know ill wake up early and worry again.
i also find im never optimistic with anything!! which is weird because people always say im so confident and cheerful if they only knew!!sometimes i wonder if i make things go wrong ...oh its all so confusing. pips im going to go with your POSITIVE thoughts ive been alot better recently but still have my worrys and panics in the back of my head sometimes i wish i could take my brain(which is very small ha ha)out and give it a wash to get rid of all the horrible worrys.well my lovelys i hope you both have a wonderful peaceful weekend take care love from mary xx

kate
03-04-04, 13:34
Hiya Mary,

Nice to hear from you.

I've had a real bad week but am feeling a bit better today.

Got to go back to doc's on Monday so will see what happens.

My anxiety is making me over anxious in other areas at the moment as well.

I keep having to check that I have closed the front door when I have gone to work.

I even drove home to check it one day and I was nearly at work!

Also keep thinking I have somehow left something burning at home and that I will get home from work to find I have burned the house down.

Still, broken up for Easter hol's now, 2 weeks off, so hoping the anxiety will subside a bit.

Hope you are feeling well today and good luck with the positive thinking!

Kate x

me
03-04-04, 13:45
oh kate, bless you, im doing that as well!! this morning i was taking my friend to the cash and carry to get some easter eggs and i had to come home two times... once to check id put my ciggy out and the second to make sure id locked the door oh so your not alone, ive been known to nearly pull my front door down when im checking that ive locked it ha ha x im sorry your having a bad week, lets hope the doctors can help, ill have my fingers crossed and even my toes xtake care my love ,try and keep poistive love from mary x

kate
03-04-04, 18:54
Hiya Mary,

Wow, someone else who can't convince themself that the front door is shut!!

It's as if nothing will register in my brain and until it does, I can't be sure that I have done something correctly. Does that make any sense?????

I never, ever smoke in the house and leave the ashtray in the garden! But even then, I will never empty it into the dustbin til the fag ends have been extinguished for about 2 hours in case I cause a fire!!

It is just so tiring being that cautious.

Thanks for the post, Mary, and keep smiling!

Kate x

Meg
03-04-04, 19:30
Make a list of things that concern you
Tick them off as you check them before you leave and add comments to make it more believable

Take the list with you . If you have doubts - check the list, read your commments, remember the event and refuse to allow yourself to return .

I had a friend ( without anxiety) who came by train to visit me from London . She called me from Leicester Station saying she HAD to go back and check as she knew she'd left her windows open and was coming for 4 days and In Streatham this is not a good idea . She went all the way back , they were closed , then she came all the way up again and I was the one with issues at the time !!

She called herself a few choice names but then dismissed the event and hasn't ever spoken about it again.


Meg

"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We're afraid."
"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We will fall!"
"Come to the edge."
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.

- Guillaume Apollinaire

kate
03-04-04, 20:07
Thanks, Meg,

That is such a good idea.

Kate x

pips
04-04-04, 00:46
Hi Kate & Mary,

It was great to hear from you.

I hope you get on well at the Doctor's Kate. : -}

I find i am waking up every 2 hours at the moment & going to the loo.
I can't settle then as my brain just whirls & whirls so much and it gets me so cross. : -[ I should have been called Whirlpool! I keep putting of going to bed till late but then finding i am totally wacked after a while!

I haven't had a great couple of days either & am annoyed as i am on holiday at the mo. I though i wouldn't feel so anxious, but hey guess what! My anxiety/panic has decided to join me on holiday as well!

I keep working hard on those POSITIVE THOUGHTS though : -}

I am with you both on the checking thing as as well! You can't be to safe can you! Why do we have to go through it so many times though?.

We know deep down we have done what we needed. It's like we don't trust our brain. That's another thing to work on TRUST!
My brain does more work now then ever!!! I wish you could achieve a qualification in worry & Panic. I might even have a Diploma by now(he he)

Or even better like you said Mary, give you brain a good wash and rid them of those nasty thoughts!

Maybe next time at the car wash hey HA HA : - ] Got to try & keep a sense of humour up. Although it ain't always easy! As you probably both know!

I hope this message finds you both well.

Take Care Keep in touch.

XX Love Pip's XX

kate
04-04-04, 08:30
Hiya Pip's,

Good to hear from you.

I also can't trust my brain to give me the right signals to confirm to myself that I have carried out the simplest of tasks.

I'm definately going to try making a list of things as I go along and write down when I have done it.

That was a great idea from Meg!

I don't know about you, but I also forget what things are called! Like, I will want to talk about say the computer, and keep forgetting what it is called!

I good brain washing sounds a brilliant idea!!

Clean out all the old thoughts and feelings and start again all sparkling clean and new!

Pip's, do you also feel that if you don't have the worrying thoughts then you are tempting fate even more?

If I'm feeling quite ok about something I then worry that I'm not worrying so then worry that I will make something bad happen.

Hmmmm, does that make any sense?

Anyway, hope you have a nice, panic free day!

Kate x

me
04-04-04, 11:31
morning pips and kate x hey pips i definatley go with the idea of us all havin a diploma .... you kate and me and our brains, we would all be top of the class ha ha. hope you both are feeling ok today x kate im always forgetting names of things and people i will be talking about something but when it comes to a word i go blank its awful i can be staring at what ever im talking about say the television and the more i try to remember it .....i cant and i end up getting all annoyed with myself and i totally understand about the worring thing i will be feeling fine then a little monster will pop in my head and remind me im not worrying about anything so then i start worrying about when im going to start worrying if you see what i mean!!! megs idea about making a list sounds good ill have a go with that. oh pips try and enjoy your holiday its your time to relax, doesnt it sound so easy. have you got a video or dvd ?rent a feel good movie put yer feet up and chill x oh im abit of a scardy cat today cause im back to work tomorrow woke up very very early this morning and couldnt stop going over everything while my husband was snoring his head off bless him i kept telling myself to calm which i have but it gives me butterflys thinking if facing all those people well my lovely people i must dash, try to keep smiling and enjoy the rest of the weekend its lovely and sunny here today hope it is where you live x love from mary x

kate
04-04-04, 13:06
Hiya Mary,

Yes, it's lovely and sunny here!!!

It is scary going back to work after having time off but we will be thinking of you so keep that thought in your mind!!

I'm sitting here watching a Peter Kay dvd and laughing my head off!

I've watched it dozens of times but it still makes me laugh!

Hope you are having a good weekend and all the best for tomorrow

Take care

Kate x

sal
04-04-04, 14:37
Hi Pips how has your day gone so far. Im not having a very good one at all. Like you would love just one who day free of anxiety. But we keep plodding on. Sal xx

pips
04-04-04, 15:18
Hi Ya Kate & Mary [8D]

Hope you are having a good weekend.

I was a brave girl yesterday caught the train with Hubby to see his parents in Salisbury. [:0]

Was a bit pathetic doing it though a few tears and panicky moments.
I made it though! I think at one point i managed to forget my anxiety for about 2hrs. AMAZING ;) !

I then went and spoilt it by thinking that i hadn't felt anxious or worried. How silly is that! [:o)]

So I know exactly what you mean Kate, when you say you worry because you haven't worried! Then worry something might happen [}:)]

I do feel better that i did it though as i hate letting anyone down.

Yes Mary, I have a video/Dvd. So thats a good idea renting a comedy. American Pie films are very funny! They do say laughter is the best medicine. :D

I hope things go well for you back at work Mary. I will be thinking of you. Rememeber we are top of the class! [8)] I hope those nasty monsters [:p] don't ruin it for you.

Take good care both of you and remember PMT -(POSITIVE MENTAL THOUGHT) That sound's much better then the other PMT don't you think [^]? He He [:I]

Love Pip's [:X] XX

kate
04-04-04, 15:28
Pip's,

Were you just saying hello or had you got a posting????????

Kate x

pips
04-04-04, 15:46
Sorry Kate must have pressed submit button my mistake and had to Edit text. Message 4 u above.

Take Care Pip's XX

kate
04-04-04, 15:52
Pip's,

Loved the PMT!!!! Will remember that one!!

Well done you on the train trip! You did SO well!

I haven't ventured on a train, or any other public transport for that matter, for about 10 years.

You certainly didnt spoil it by thinking about the anxiety!

Give yourself a big pat on the back, you deserve it!

Kate x

nomorepanic
05-04-04, 13:35
Pips

Well done with the trip - must have been a challenge for you and I bet you feel pleased with yourself now you have done it.

I have only done a few bus trips and one tube in the last 6 years. I can't even do taxis yet - they scare me to death.

Take care.

Nicola

pips
05-04-04, 20:55
Hi Kate,
Thanks for the message.
It makes me feel so much of a comfort Knowing people understand. I often get angry with myself & think it's only a train or whatever. It shouldn't be a big deal! Unfortunately anxiety does seem to make thing's a big deal!

Got another trip tomorrow. I am going to stay with Mum for a couple of days. I am really looking forward to it. I am still so very anxious & panicky though. I really hate feeling like this as it's my Mum. I love her to bit's & she is so very understanding yet i still feel anxious! MAD HEY!

It must be so hard for you also 10yrs hey since public transport. I have to get a bus to work as i can't drive. My hubby takes me when he can. I tried to learn to drive once, but hated it and was a complete wreck. As for the public transport though Kate, I promise you are not missing anything! : - ] (well only when it never turn's up!).

I hope you are well,
Take care & lot's of PMT!
XX Pip's XX

pips
05-04-04, 21:08
Hi Nicola,

Thank's for your message,

It really does make you feel that you are not alone!

Travelling can be such an anxious thing. I hate tube train's feel so shut in. Makes me panic more.

I agree taxi's are not great either!

I wish we could just close our eyes and appear where we want to go to!

That would be so simple.

I hope you are keeping well.

Take Care

XX Pip's XX

kate
05-04-04, 21:22
Hiya Pip's,

I think there is good and bad things about having a car and not having to use public transport.

On the one hand, driving has enabled me to go out a lot more than I would have. At least when you are driving, you can escape quickley and easily!!

However, it means that you never have to push yourself to do the public transport thing.

Consequently, when my car was off the road for a few days, I had to get my mother in law to drive me to work and pick me up afterwards as there was NO WAY I could have caught the bus!

Anyway, hope you enjoy your stay at your mom's.

Treat it as a small holiday and have a great chill out time!

Take care

Kate x

me
06-04-04, 21:42
yippee pips you have done so well x oh im so happy for you x and your going to stay with your mum which will be lovely, if you get a worry just think that you will be with your mum after the journey and she loves you and understands what you are going through. i hope you are keeping well and enjoying your holiday, sorry its taken me so long to reply but..... i did it!! i went back to work ,goodness talk about nervous i couldnt open my mouth cause it was so dry!!it was ok after i got over the butterflys and the wobberly legs and got in the swing of things and i went back today which must be a good sign mind you its worn me out...ive only done 2 days!!i must say hello to kate x hope you are ok too x well im very tired so im off to bed so night take care love from mary x
ps kate i must just tell you im looking after my next door neighbours cat while she is on holiday oh and talk about laugh last night i went and fed her and i couldnt open the door, its got a posh, fancy, mega, modern lock i finally got in fed the cat then it came to locking it oh................ i had to check it so many times in the end i had to laugh at myself and tell myself to stop i must of looked bonkers, so this morning i had to get up extra early to prepare myself to feed the cat but it all went ok and i only tried to pull it off hinges 10 times instead of 100 ha ha take care love from mary x

kate
06-04-04, 21:47
Hiya Mary,

Your post made me laugh!! Could just imagine you checking the flipping door!!

Hope your having a good week. Are you preparing for your son's homecoming?

Take care

Kate x

me
07-04-04, 09:51
morning kate lovely to hear from you x hope you are ok and having a good morning. oh ive just been to the doctors to read a letter for the foster people it really scared me but it was ok ,it felt really horrible sharing my private life with people who dont understand but it has to be done!! yes im getting ready for my little lovely to come home, he's coming next wednesday....i cleaned his bed room last week it took me all day it was so messy im sure it wont take long too go back to normal ha ha well im now going to feed the cat next door i should be back in a couple of hours ha ha x have a lovely day love from mary x

me
07-04-04, 09:52
morning kate lovely to hear from you x hope you are ok and having a good morning. oh ive just been to the doctors to read a letter for the foster people it really scared me but it was ok ,it felt really horrible sharing my private life with people who dont understand but it has to be done!! yes im getting ready for my little lovely to come home, he's coming next wednesday....i cleaned his bed room last week it took me all day it was so messy im sure it wont take long too go back to normal ha ha well im now going to feed the cat next door i should be back in a couple of hours ha ha x have a lovely day love from mary x

kate
07-04-04, 10:02
Hiya Mary,

I bet you are so excited about next Wednesday!

I agree, it is horrible to share your feelings with people who don't understand but at least it is out of the way now and you can look forward to having your little boy home.

Good luck on the door checking haha. Don't take too long about it cos I like to read your postings!!

Have a good day Mary!

Love

Kate x

me
07-04-04, 10:23
hello kate, well i think i might be avoiding going next door !!which is really bad of me as there will be a very hungry cat... i really must do it .....it hurts my wrists after all that door pulling ha ha oh i shouldnt laugh about it cause its awful when im doing it my brain wont trust me to say ive locked the door but i think i have to laugh about it or i would be always be crying right here i go take care love from mary x

kate
07-04-04, 11:16
Mary,

As Meg suggested in a previous posting, take a piece of paper with you, and as you open or close doors, write it down to prove to yourself that you have done it.

When you finally lock the door prior to coming away from the house, write that down again so you can look back at it to prove it to yourself.

Sounds like a good suggestion to me so give it a go and let me know how it helps with the anxious thoughts!

Kate x

pips
08-04-04, 18:24
Hi Kate & Mary,

Many thanks for your lovely messages.

I am back from Mum's now. We had a lovely girly time. Went shopping, hired a couple of vid's & just chilled.

A few anxious moments but not to bad. Until today woke up at Mum's & my heart was racing, of course that put me straight into anxious mode! After lot's of cuddles with Mum, and a few slurps of YE Old faithful Bach Flower remedy. I got back safe & sound.

I then made a big mistake & went to Tesco's! Thinking it would be quiter today then the weekend (ha ha more fool me)! Busy wasn't the word for it people were buying food like it was never going to open again! It's only shut for 1 day! (Easter Sunday). So I think that's quite enough for today!

Do you find that anxiety drains you?

Congrats Mary on going back to work! Big Praise for you. I knew you could do it : - ]

Are you still having prob's with that Door knob? How many X today? It's so frustrating isn't it. It's worse when it's someone elses you feel more reponsible! I hope the checking has eased of for you! I bet u are looking forward to next Wednesday as well Mary.

How's thing's with you Kate? Hope the week is going hassle free for you.

Take Care both of you

Love PMT Pip's : - ) XX

kate
08-04-04, 18:30
Hiya PMT Pips!!

Glad to hear you had such a good time at your mom's!

Mary has been having the "battle of the door" over the last few days!!

She hasn't posted today so I'm a bit worried that this time it has taken her 24 hours and counting to realise the door really is shut!!

Only kidding Mary!!

Still feeling dead tense. Nothing different there then.But had a more peaceful day today. Daughter gone out with mom in law, son went out with hubby and I have had a few hours of time on my own, which I do like occasionally.

Yes, Pip's, anxiety DOES drain you. Gives me a permanent headache as well!

I get through tons of the rescue remedy. Should have it supplied by a drip.

Anyway, take care, Pip's!

Kate x

nomorepanic
08-04-04, 19:23
Hi all

Just been reading the posts in here and you lot sound like you are having a great time and you all sound so cheerful - that is what we like to see !!

Happy Easter to you all and I hope you all get loads of chocolate.

My mum is coming to see me sometime over easter - Monday maybe so that is nice. She hasn't been here since June last year so we will have a great day out - she always spoils me!!

Take care all
xx

Nicola

kate
08-04-04, 21:04
Hiya Nic,

Yes, we are having a GREAT TIME :D

Mary and Pip's make me laugh and we offload on each other!!

Good innit? [8D]

Kate x

sal
09-04-04, 11:44
Hiya Mary, Kate & Pips Having a bad day and just read all your mail & it has really cheered me up. Going to follow u Mary and try to get myself back to work after the easter hols. Been 2 docs & she referred me to psychologist who i saw yesterday that really helped to. So what are you all up to over the Easter break? Im going to a caravan on monday for four days, was having a good day when booked it but am still going to make myself do it, im taking my daughter Sam who is 8 and her friends and my best friends daughter Becky who is 14 so she will be a good help. Why does anxiety wear you out so much because when i have a panic attack i couldnt do anything physical (well apart from the pacing)!! I always feel afterwards like i could sleep for days on end. I will have to join in these girlie chats because reading has really perked me up (Thats if you all dont mind). I still cant believe that there are people who understand what i am going through! Anyhow be in touch soon and all enjoy Easter and hope you all get loads of chocs!!! Take care
Love Sal xxx

pips
09-04-04, 13:38
Hi Kate, :D

Thanks for your message,

Hope you are well today [?]

No still haven't heard from Mary yet.

Hope she's not stuck on the door knob. Or worse still the door knob has disintagrated or even spontanously combusted with the checking! :( Whoops! Sorry Mary only teasing!

I find that u have to have a sense of humour with this. :D I think if u take it to seriously it can get the better of u at times!

Or it just could be that i'm Mad [:p] Ha ha!

I hoped you enjoyed your You Time the other day! You are right It's good to have some space occasionally.

It definately helps to offload your thoughts fears as well etc...

Feel free to off load any time to me ;)

I hope you have a Happy Easter free from anxiety & tension! With lots of choc's!

I eat a chocolate then feel guilty. As iv'e only got to look at it and I put on weight! Then i get anxious for eating it in the first place [V]

Oh it's so tiring at times isn't it. [|)] Don't you ever feel like saying to hell with it [}:)] & just doing thing's without the worry first!

Wouldn't that be Fab! :)

I like your idea about the Bach drip, sound's brill! [:o)]

Look after yourself

PMT Pip's XX[:X]XX

pips
09-04-04, 13:49
Hi Nicola. :D

Thanks for the message.

I hope you have a wonderful Easter too! :)

It will be lovely for you to see your Mum again! Have a lovely day & enjoy being spoilt rotten! Mum's are good at that!

We will keep up our comedy slot on the message forum![8D]

They say laughter is the best medicine :D

Athough anxiety/panic doen't always make you feel the happiest. :(
I keep trying as they say though practice makes perfect.[:o)]

I hope you are well

Take care

Pip's [:X] XX

me
09-04-04, 14:06
hello my lovely pips and kate x and welcome to sal x well kate ive finally pulled myself away from next door, i shouldnt laugh about it.....my husband had to come with me this morning so i didnt take too long as we were going out. my neighbour is home tonight so i havent got to do it anymore yippee i will give the writing list a go x so how are you all, ok i hope x pips im so pleased you had a lovely time with your mum, how was the journey home ? oh i can totally understand about tescos, this morning we went up the city to meet my mum sister her partner and her 2 beauitful girls, i was abit tense after feeding the cat next door(but its built my muscles up in my arms a treat ha ha!!!) there was a french market in the city which i really wanted to go to when we got to the city it was lovely and quiet which i thought.... lovely not too many people, so we went to meet my family but they were abit late and the city was getting really busy i started to feel abit rubbish then my family turned up, oh i couldnt talk i was so nervous of everything it took me a while to settle but i did it, i only stayed for alittle while just enough time to watch my mum flirt with a few french men!!!!it shocked me but made me laugh...bless her x im home now and im wacked,anxiety does wear you out yesterday i had a really bad day not in the way of worry or anxiety(there was alittle not alot as paul daniels would say...where did that come from ha ha) but with tiredness i had my little foster boy for the day i was taking him to see his mum for a few hours, it is a good hour and a half journey so i got myself all prepared the night before and felt i had a good night sleep we were meant to leave our house by eight but the people who are looking after our foster child dropped him off 1/2 an hour late, i then start getting nervous about the drive but i calmed myself down i thought im all prepared with my drink nibbles and cds anyway got where we had to be, we were alittle late we went in and waited and waited ,no mum, she didnt turn up, oh my heart just went to him he acted like it didnt matter but you could see he was covering up so i said come on what shall we do? he said he wanted to go to the cinema so we drove home and went, as soon as we got inside the cinema i felt drained i couldnt keep my eyes opened my head kept nodding it was so embarrassing the harder i tried i just wanted to sleep, thinking about it now its giving me the giggles.... our little foster boy nudged me at one point to tell me to wake up bless him, then last night i thought me and my husband would go out for a bite to eat not on your nelly i was tucked up on the sofa snoring by 7.30pm!!!! but then this morning i woke up so early my head was worrying about everything lots of horrible stupid thoughts but then i went to feed the cat next door.... that soon took my mind off everything ha ha my husband laughed at me and said i should work as a security gaurd... oh goodness im so sorry ive waffled on so much kate did you have a lovely evening with your husband? hope you did x sal hope you are having a good break x well my lovelys i should think ive made you all fall asleep i hope you have a great easter take care lots of love from mary x

pips
09-04-04, 14:19
Hi Sal,

Lovely to hear from you again : - ]

Sorry to read you were having a bad day. Glad we can be of some use with these messages!

Feel free to join in the girly chats anytime you want too! The more the merrier : - ]

I hope you enjoy your hols, although it might not feel like it at the time. You do feel better once you have achieved it!

I do understand, i get very panicky when I go away to. I may feel crap doing it but then i feel crap if i don't do it! So can't win really.
I do think u feel better if u can do it though!

We are just having a quiet Easter really nothing special planned. Some places get to busy for my liking!

Anxiety tires you so much because it's like your brain goes into overdrive & It works overtime!
& afterwards u feel totally drained! If I got a pound for every anxious thought! I would be a millionaire by now easily! Ha ha.

Anyway Sal, You take care.

Good luck & let us know how u get on!

Happy Easter

Love Pip's XX

kate
09-04-04, 15:55
Hiya Sal,

Welcome aboard the PMT, wrist achingly, door checking, panicking group!

Oh yea, we love having new members, cheers us up even more!!:D

It will of course help if you a. Have to keep checking that doors are properly locked. B. That you have to slurp at least a bottle of rescue remedy every day and c. That when you are asigned a CPN or psychologist that you drive them so MAD that they have to ditch you.

So, if you suffer with any of the above afflictions, then you will fit in perfectly!!

Anyway, you go off and have a lovely time at the caravan surrounded by all those lovely children! :(

It's nice to get away from the normal everyday places and have a break. Enjoy!!!

Take care and keep posting!!!

Kate x

kate
09-04-04, 16:02
Oh Mary,

I am SO pleased to hear from you!

I had to send Pip's out to search for you cos I dont really do going out!!

Anyway, I sent her off to find you and she texted me and said that all she could see was a woman frantically pulling on a door handle muttering "Is it locked? Is it locked??" over and over.

So I knew you were safe LOL

When are the neighbours back to release you from this terrible duty?

Anyway, Mary, you did really well driving to see your little lad's mom.

I can't believe she didn't turn up. Poor lad.

No wonder you were worn out, but YOU DID IT!!!

Nice one!

Blimey, fancy having a relative that flirts with French men!!!!!

Anyway, have a relaxing Easter and look forward to hearing from you soon

Take Care

Kate x

kate
09-04-04, 16:10
Hello PMT Pip's,

Mary's back! Poor thing. She has got a mega bicep now after all that door pulling!

Good job you went and rescued her. I think 36 hours of checking is a bit excessive even for a panicker.

I'm doing absolutely nothing over Easter. Don't do crowds and stuff LOL.

I am also not allowed any chocolate as in the past 12 months I have changed into Moby Dick.

I weighed 10 stone and I now weigh 11 and a half. I comfort eat but unfortunately it brings no comfort just a big, fat wobbly stomach and a fat ass!!!

So,I bought a calorie counter book today (BORING) and I must start tomorrow.

I feel like I'm a bit out of control LOL in all areas of my life!!!

Looks like I'm having a no eating, no going out kind of Easter then.

Can't wait.

WEll, Pip's, have a nice Easter and look forward to reading your posts soon!

Oh, by the way, I have ordered you a rescue remedy drip. You now owe me £13.76 plus p&p.

But, it does mean that you never forget to take it with you!!! haha

Take care

Kate x

me
09-04-04, 17:36
hello kate, oh its lovely to hear from you x oh you make me laugh x wheres our pips? she hasnt gone door checking has she!!!! pips where are you x oh kate i cant stop eating over the last 2 weeks ive ate more than i have over the last 2 years!!! i used to be a size 16/18 but started to go to slimmers world and over the years ive got down to size 10..... but i love food again, i cant get enough of it. i have brought 6 easter eggs for my friends i (and alittle help from my husband) have stuffed 3 of them!!!!they were so naughty but oh so nice. well talking about food i must go and do tea ha ha take care love from mary x
ps hope to hear from you soon pips we miss you x

me
09-04-04, 17:41
pips im worried you havent seen my message i sent you this morning its on the page before!!! oh goodness look at me getting all worried. be in touch soon x love from mary ps i hope the message that i sent you this morning wasnt to big and boring if it was im sorry x

kate
09-04-04, 17:47
Hiya Mary,

I reckon Pip's has gone and cured herself.

Oh well, she still owes me for the drip and rescue remedy!!!

Wow, Mary, I have never been a size 10 in my life!

Used to be a comfy size 12/14. Now I'm a very uncomfortable 14/16, and thats tracky bots with elasticated waist!

So, have got to try and get a grip. I need to lose a couple of stone, give up smoking, stop panicking, stop worrying, stop being depressed and stop checking front doors!

Should all be very achievable. NOT.

So, tomorrow is the start of the DIET. It is pretty scary cos soon it will be summer. And thats when people wear vest tops and shorts.

I wont be joining them though. It will still be wearing sweatshirts and tracky bottoms, and sweating quietly in a corner.

Anyway, must go and have a pre diet bar of choccie, so speak to you soon

Kate x

sal
09-04-04, 20:27
Hiya Kate

Need to do the diet thing myself because have put on loads of weight this last few months, (thats why of work really coz uniform doesnt fit!!!) Nothing to do with been a complete fraggle. Had a bad day today been paranoid that nobody cares or understands (Proper feeling sorry for myself) Used a whole box of tissues and eyes look really good at mo!!!! So if u start diet tommorrow what are you going to do if you get eggs on Sunday!! Give the AWAY??? I couldnt do that at all, not enough will power. Cant wait for Samantha to open hers so i can share them or should i say steal some as shes the biggest chocolate fan ive ever met. Mary have you heard anything from pips yet?? Have your neighbours got back safely and had a good time?

Sal xxxx

nomorepanic
09-04-04, 20:35
Kate/Sal

Pips has made a couple of posts today on the previous page so she is fine.

Kate - good luck with the diet mate. I must start mine too as I have put a stone on.

If you need any tips I have loads - lol

Nicola

kate
09-04-04, 20:36
Hiya Sal,

Sorry to hear you have had a bad day.

I have the very same feelings on quite a regular basis! I only have to see an advert with a bit of a soppy tune and my eyes fill up!

No chance of me getting any eggs, but I would normally pinch some of the kids. But this year my son is on a health kick and hasn't touched choc, cakes or the like for about 6 months.

So, he has had a CD for Easter. BUT my daughter has got several eggs which of course I will not be tempted by!!!

Anyway, if my willpower fails, I will just LIE and say the diet is going fantastically!! hehe

Hope you feel better tomorrow, Sal. Shall I send you a big value box of tissues then for Easter instead of an egg????????

Take care

Kate x

kate
09-04-04, 20:38
Nic,

Do you remember we were going to start the diet in January?????

Trouble is, I like food toooooooooo much.

But, will give it my best shot!

Any tips on how to avoid all nice, fattening food will be appreciated!!!

Kate x

sal
09-04-04, 20:53
I asked Sam to hide her eggs but she has displayed them all in the kitchen EVIL CHILD!! And she has just twisted my arm to make her fish fingers and chips so who picked at them ME!!! Kate do you ever get so annoyed with yourself when you feel down, try and think positive for that day then your heads starts thinking what if you feel worse tomorrow then you just panic about panic. Im sick of worrying about worrying. Been positive well trying to be. Nothing good on tv tonight so keep talking to Sam but shes watching the Simpsons so im annoying her to. Sure she is 19 rather than 9. Be in touch soon Love Sal xxxx

kate
09-04-04, 20:57
Hiya Sal,

I get annoyed with myself constantly.

I never do positive anymore, just negative.

Yum, yum fish fingers and chips!!! I love junk food!

But, tomorrow it is the rabbit food which I will be sharing with Sooty the real life bunny LOL

By the end of the week I will probably be sleeping with her in the hutch at night!!!

Oh, we are watching the Simpsons as well!!

Kate x

sal
09-04-04, 20:58
Hiya Nic good to hear from you. Im always starting diets tomorrow but it never comes!! I was really good last week and made a pan of weight watches soup, then like a proper loser froze it all!!!! Away next week so cant start until week after but seriously tried my work trousers on today and they are really tight. Prison uniform isnt the most flattering at best of times but really didnt do me any justice. Got jumpers but they are really thick especially when on a wing so you can only wear a shirt tucked in NOT A PRETTY SITE!!!! Saw Psychologist yesterday, havent seen him for nearly 2 years and he reckons im much more rational now than before, so i must have been crazy then. Told him about the site and he was really pleased about that. Good luck with the diet, cant give any advice coz all the nicest food is fattening!!! Lots of love Sal xxxxx

me
10-04-04, 11:14
morning my lovely ladies x well i ate another easter egg last night and it was sooooooooooooo nice, looks like im going to be buying a new wardrobe this summer! its lovely to hear from you x kate, fish fingers are the best, i have them at least twice a week, oh i live an exciting life. sal all my clothes are getting tight!!! it really makes me glum but i still cant stop eating, its great you got on well with the psychologist, i really think this site is a tonic, you girls are fab, you cheer me up no end x thankyou x have been feeling all insecure over the last couple of days its a horrible feeling, sal i always feel no one understands or cares and i feel so lonely which is silly because i have wonderful friends but something in my head says no one likes me, im a pain, oh if only i could be someone else!! i think im 10 times worst when polly period is on her way and shes due at mine anytime now!! well my lovelys im cleaning cause ive got the family over this weekend and im trying to burn off at least one of the eggs i have ate take care love from mary x
ps still no pips.....pips where are you x

sal
10-04-04, 14:02
Hiya Mary, Kate & Pips where ever she is hiding. Having another paranoid day about friends just tried to contact on and no answer and i automatically assume ive said or done something wrong. Need to swap this head!!! Didnt sleep well last night as shared my bed with Samantha and she suddenly becomes the size of a giant and snores!!! But on a really positive note i didnt have any wine, so i am quite proud of myself. So i am feeling a little brighter although para!!! Taking Sam for a riding lesson soon so a least ill get some fresh air. Going to miss you guys next week when i go to Haggerston Castle, by the time i come back ill be a right numpty (prison phrase)and probably even heavier from all the junk food Yum yum. Sam has so many easter eggs that she will have to share!! So how are you lot today. Mary busy doing housework, mine needs doing going to do it tonight PROMISE!! By the time i get in touch later today my house will be spotless Dream on. Anyhow all have a good day and ill be in touch soon Lots of love Sal xxx

kate
10-04-04, 16:06
Hiya Sal,

I always get the paranoia feelings too. Always think that I have done things to upset people, even though I am the classic "sit on the fence" kinda girl. Never voice my opinions, never upset people even though they treat me like poo.

I went to the supermarket today, flipping heaving it was, cos of course it is shut for one WHOLE DAY tomorrow.

Was so busy trolley raging everyone that I had no time to panic.

Came back home and have just vaccumed upstairs. I hate vaccuming especially the bedrooms cos there is only about 2 square inches of carpet showing in each one, they are quite small bedrooms!!

If I don't hear from you,Sal, have a lovely time and stay away from the junk food.

Oh, by the way, day 1 of the DIET. It's now 4 pm and I'm still on it LOL

Take care

Kate x

pips
10-04-04, 18:08
Hi all I am still here! :D

I got lost looking 4 Mary & then couldn't leave that dam door knob alone myself, got friction burn's through checking. HA HA [8D]

Only joking! Kate & Sal I left u both a message yesterday on page 5.

Sorry Mary I read your message late last night, and then hubby wanted to use the computer as he sells some item's on Ebay! & then he wanted to E-mail his friend. How inconsiderate of him hey! [V]
No your message was not boring it was lovely and I throughly enjoyed reading it. Please never ever think u r boring as you are definately NOT![:0]

Not a brill couple of days really anxiety keeps creeping in :(

Its so naughty it never does what its told, I keep telling it to go away (Or maybe i might say something a bit stronger whoops;) but will it listen! my brain is full of anxiety/worry naughtiness! [:p] (Hope that makes sense!)

Well doneMary for doing the Town plus French market it could not have been easy 4 u! I am proud of u [B)]

That was so sad reading your foster boy's mum didn't turn up! I just can't understand some people at times. Lucky he had a great person like u to look after him though. He was in very good hand's sleepy one's at that! I hope u have recovered from your tiredness now. [|)]

Thanks Kate 4 your message & 4 ordering the drip! Will come in very usefull [:o)]
Hope the diet's still going well for u!

It is a nightmare though i have to always watch what I eat as i have hyperlipidemia which basically means my body can't break down fats easily! I have given up smoking, don't drink much alcahol. I am forever counting
calories/fat content etc yet still it takes me about a month to shift 2£. Oh i'm getting depressed now :(

I have come to the conclusion that my metobilism has gone and been replaced by anxiety/panic and fear AGGGGGGGGGGGGGH [}:)]

Here is some advise 4 u Kate,
My GP once said instead of calling it a diet. Just think of it as a healthy lifestyle! Like that really helps ( not!) Like those words are supposed to make it all better & the weight just falls of me. I wish.

Hope things are ok with u Sal, & you haven't had to buy shares in tissues yet! Like i said before I hope u have a fab holiday Keep us posted on how it goes & i hope u don't come back to numptified. [:0]

Good idea about swapping your head though.

I could been an add in the paper!

New head wanted:
Must be anxiety & Panic Free [:p]
Only to have care free thoughts[:o)]
And have naturally curly hair if poss as it suits me better & these perms cost me a bloody fortune.Ha ha.
I'll let u know if i get any replies! He He :D

Well i had better go i have probably filled a whole page by now WHOOOPS![:0]

Sorry again Mary I didn't mean 2 worry U! Thanks 4 the concern though it means alot.

Take Good Care & I hope u r all well
Loadsa Love XX PMT Pip's[:X]XX

sal
10-04-04, 19:50
Hi all

Pips put an advert in x 2 for new head but need straight hair fom me!!!! No havent bought shares in tissues YET and havent cried today either!! Made up for it yesterday though. Just finished doing my housework and it looks no tidier, dont know why we bother. Started packing for the hol, first thing i packed was diazepam and cipramil (isnt it SAD!!!) Pleased to hear you had trolley rage Kate coz i did earlier the shop was full of idiots, not normal like me!! You would think some one had announced there would be no more food for a year. These people really need to get a life!! Hope you have a good time with your family over Mary and go easy on those choccie eggs. Talk later Will mail you before i go away Take care Love Sal xxxx

Sal xxxx

kate
10-04-04, 20:58
Hiya PMT Pip's,

The diet was going great but then.......

Hubby brought home 2 large packets of maltezers [:0]

Unfortunately, I was unable to resist and have eaten half of my packet [:I]

Will power nil, maltesers 1 !!

Anyway, I will try again tomorrow I suppose.

Take care

Kate x

kate
10-04-04, 21:01
Hiya Sal,

Quite enjoyed the trolley rage LOL

Let off a lot of aggression.

Oh, forgot to mention, I also sat in the restaurant in the supermarket and had a jacket spud and a drink. Yes, the diet was still going well at that stage.

Was on edge sitting there, but I still did it. Good aren't I????

Anyway, came home and did the housework, dried the washing etc, all the dead thrilling things that make my life SO worthwhile.

Good idea, Sal, packing the med's first. As long as you have them you will cope LOL

Speak soon

Kate x

pips
10-04-04, 21:21
Hi Kate

Don't feel guilty about eating malteasers!

Remember what the advert say's they are "lighter then ordinary chocolate!" So u might as well have the whole bag & enjoy yourself!

As u say there is always tommorow!

Well done 4 doing the jacket spud & drink! I have done my housework this afternoon 2 so exciting hey. Doesn't it make u feel so much better (NOT)!

Bye 4 now

Take care

Love PMT Pip's XX

kate
11-04-04, 09:34
Hiya PMT Pip's,

Well, I'm not feeling at all guilty about the extra large packet of malteazers that I that I scoffed, they have NO calories whatsoever (!).

Doesn't matter that they have now added to the wobble that is my stomach!!

I'm hoping that it stays dry today cos I need to tackle another real exciting thing today - mowing the lawn.

I love my garden but I find the mowing a bit back breaking.

Still, will keep my mind off eating!!

My anxiety levels are sky high today, for a change !!!!!

We sold our house 5 weeks ago, have so far viewed 10 properties, and have to make a final decision on Tuesday if we are going to up our offer by £500 on a certain property.

The house has been totally renovated, new windows, laminate floor etc etc and is in the area that we wanted.

So why do I still not know whether we are doing the right thing in moving???

I am so indecisive it is untrue!

All I'm thinking of, all day from the moment I wake up, is are we doing the right thing?

It just scares me to make any changes in case it doesn't work out right.

I know that no one can make the decision for us but I can't look on the bright side and think it will be the best thing we ever did. I have to keep thinking of the negative side!!!

Arghhhhhh I'm totally wearing myself out about it!!

Anyway, nuff about me!!!

Hope you are having a good weekend and hope to hear from you soon.

Oh, by the way, are you on MSN?

Kate x

kate
13-04-04, 11:04
Phew,

Glad the forum's back!!

I had to do some housework yesterday to keep myself occupies, was getting bad "withdrawal from forum" symptoms!!

Ok, well have had an offer accepted on a house today, and I now feel very excited.

A builder had the house and has totally gutted it so everything is brand new.

I am feeling so much better now a decision has been made.

Onward and upward lol

Only thing now I'm starting to worry in case either the survey on our house or the survey on the house we are buying throws up something major!!

Blimey, can I never relax!!!

Anyway, good to be back here huh??

Take care

Kate x

sarah
13-04-04, 13:13
Hiya Kate

Yeah its really good to have the forum back..ive been missing it!!!

Anyway, great news that you have had the offer accepted..a great weight off your mind eh? and its been gutted and refurbished..even better!!!!!

Hopefully a nice new start for you.

love Sarah
xx

kate
13-04-04, 13:43
Hiya Sarah,

Yes, big weight off my mind and no work to be done there at all!

My mate from work also lives right opposite the house, which will be nice.

Just got the survey's to get through now......!!

Kate x

me
14-04-04, 15:47
yippppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the girls are back ,ive missed you all so much x oh pips its great to hear from you i do worry, sorry x goodness anyone would think i had a problem ha ha. how are you? ok i hope x it was all abit stressful last week i really did feel for our little foster boy hes moving back tonight, im abit nervous about it all but im sure it will be ok, keep yer fingers and toes crossed for me. pips my friend cant digest fat she has to keep to a strict diet.... well she says alittle naughty and nice things never hurt anyone she loves her chocolate x kate how are you? oh im all excited cause its so lovely to be in touch again, kate its fab you are moving we are thinking about it, i had the house valued and have found another one to buy but im such a worry head i cant make my mind up what to do ......like you i worry about the surveys and things and most of all about money, oh it all floats in my head and i do get my knickers in a twist my husband is so laid back about everything i wish i was like that!! oh kate i loved being in the chat room the other night it was so fast i was so pleased to see you in there i cant wait to do it again x hello sal x oh i cant stop smiling i didnt like it when the forum went down i felt abit lost without you all x sal im always worryed about my friends its so silly cause i know there all there for me, i think my lovely husband is right, if i havent got anything to worry about ill make something to worry about (i hope that makes sense) i hope you are having a lovely holiday x and the weather is good,im going away in a couple of weeks with my mum to tenerife (leaving the boys at home!!!! i just know im going to come home to a house that looks like a bombs hit it ha ha) im already worrying if ill have enough tablets etc oh id love to switch channels on my brain ha ha well im off to do some more cleaning take care love from mary x

pips
14-04-04, 18:38
Hi All :D

Its fab 2 be back. I have missed you all 2! I was begining to suffer from a new condition called "OCMFD" which in English means. Obsesively Checking Message Forum Disorder! [:I] I think it was about 200 & something last count. [8] To see if it was working again! Ha Ha [:o)]!

Hi Mary, I hope u r doing well. Your holiday sounds lovely. Just you & Mum time it should be great for both of you. Just think though Mary if your boys have made it look like a bombs hit it.[}:)]There won't be much left of the house. So at least it would make the decision of moving easier for you! HE HE :)
I agree with what your friend says! I LOVE my chocolate 2[:p] Thorntons, Cadburys, Nestle, Swiss Belguim. Whoop's sorry got a tad side tracked then![:I]

Hi ya Kate, Congrats to u on the house front that's really FAB news! I am just like u though why is it when something goes right we automatically wait for something to go wrong [?] Then if it doesn't we move on to the next thing to worry about. In your case the surveys! Can we never switch Off AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH[xx(]
I will keep my fingers crossed 4 u Kate;)

AS mary said wouldn't it be great if you could switch channels in your brain! I would have :

Channel 1 - Care Free Mode :D
Channel 2 - No more craving 4 sweet things Mode [:0]
Channel 3 - Don't Worry be Happy Mode [8D]
Channel 4 - Relax & Chill Out Mode [:p]

The only probs i can for see is can u have all channels running at the same time[?]Hmmmmmmmmm A bit tricky that one!!!! O well back 2 the drawing board. He He!

Hi Sal, hopes u r well & enjoying your hols! & it hasen't been 2 anxious 4 u!

Well things with me are pretty crap really:( I went down Mums again last night which was nice manged to get a train & a bus fine no prob's! Then went 2 bed last night & had a BIG Panic Attack AGGGGGGGGGH [}:)] I don't really know why it happened. I have started having a phobia that i am going to stop breathing. Of course this scares me so much that i end up getting in such a panic. I just cried myself through it :( & took lots of BACH FLOWER!

After I have a P/A The next day I feel so low & scared & anxious inside, frightened that it's going 2 come back. I know I musn't think about it though or else it does come back! Its easy 2 say though i just can't help myself[8)]

I am putting on a brave face though [:o)] and trying to laugh & make light of it. As i really don't want that Panic Monster[:p] to win!!!!!

Well I must go now, sorry for waffaling lots of catching up 2 do. At least my "OCMFD" is cured 4 now though :D

Hope u r all well
Take Care
Love Trying to be PMT Pip's! [:X]XX

me
14-04-04, 19:11
hi yer pips, its so so so lovely to hear from you. pips i do the breathing thing too, i get all scared i cant breath esp in bed, it happened last week at work too, i had to go outside and calm myself down its horrible, bless you x can you breath from your tummy? someone taught me how to do it when i was having panics every few hours oh it was horrible but breathing from my tummy really helped im sure theres a whole bit about breahing at the start of the web site have a look if you get a minute. well done for going to see your mum i know how hard it can be but yippee you did it.i hope you are feeling brighter now x it does make you low and so drained but hold onto that thought its the nasty old panic thats made you feel like it its nothing to do with you because you are a really lovely person. im so looking forward to going away with my mum but the horrible old bad thoughts have already started worrying about everything which could go wrong while away, ive made sure ive kept enough diazapam for getting on the plane which is awful but i have a scary feeling i wont board the thing without some help!!i love the new channels for our brain im going to try and tune in later. well i must go im cooking tea which at the best of times is pretty bad im not much of a cook i can burn beans on toast ha ha take care love from mary
kate where are you x i need to tell you about me and the car door at asda..........i had a moment this afternoon!! my bad brain wouldnt believe id locked my car door, i looked like i had an elastic band around my waist pulling me to and from my car i think everyone in the car park stared and thought i was mad but hey i know i am ha ha x hope your ok x

pips
14-04-04, 22:48
Hi Sweet Mary [8)]

Many thanks for your message and your kind word's. ;)

I don't feel so crazy about the breathing thing now! Thanks. Thought it was just me going loopy again [:p]

I like yourself tend to notice it more when i am in bed. I suppose because it's all quiet & you are more focussed on breathing, esp when you are trying to relax [:0]. Ha Ha

Mind you I am suprised it's quiet in my bed, esp the way my brain whirls, It's louder then a washing machine on full spin! Whirl Whirl Whirl. Should get a new job working for Whirlpool hey! Oh I am a silly billy. He he :D

Yes I know the tummy breathing you mean. It does help at times.

My Hubby say's I don't know why you worry about stopping breathing, as you wouldn't realise anything if you did! Yep that really helps (NOT!) [}:)] Must admit he's got a point, doesn't make it any easier though :(

I know what you mean about holidays. I love them but I get so petrified!! [:0] Good old Diazapam to the rescue though! I will be thinking of you!

Hope you enjoyed the T.V viewing! Feel free to add any more channels.[^] The good thing is aswell you don't have to pay for a T.V licence with this one. Ha Ha [:o)]

Take Good Care Mary :)

Love Pip's [:X] XX

kate
15-04-04, 09:44
Hiya Mary,

I'm here!!!!

Poor you with the car door. I don't seem to have a problem with that particular door, just the front door!!!

Mary, I've found it so hard over the last few weeks making the final decision to move.

But, now I've made the decision I feel so much better and am now looking forward to it.

So, if you really want to move, just go for it!!

If I can weather the storm, anyone can!!

Don't worry about using diazepam on the plane. I went to America in 2000 and the doctor prescribed it for me too.

Only trouble was, I had jet lag and diazepam lag for the first 3 days I was there!!

Hope you are well, Mary

Take care

Kate x

kate
15-04-04, 09:50
Hiya Pip's,

I was also suffering with the same disorder when the message froum was down!!!!!!

How sad is that?????

I have strange breathing episodes as well. I forget to breathe when I'm EXTRA anxious.

Then I suddenly wonder why I'm going light headed and realise I'm holding my breath!!

Can't look obvious to anyone else though cos no one ever asks me why I'm turning blue!!

Pip's I'm just waiting (and holding my breath haha) for something to go wrong with the house sale.

I feel like I have to keep thinking about the wortst happening so as I can cope if it does.

Mad innit???

Hope that you are feeling better today. Don't let the occasional panic attack stop you doing things.

I let them get the better of me and now avoid SO much. Try not to let yourself get like me!!!

Take care Pip's

Kate x

pips
15-04-04, 15:31
Thanks Kate for your message,

I am glad you are now cured from the message forum disorder!

I wish anxiety & panic could be cured that quickly! It is so easy to let it get the better of you! I must stay strong & fight the fight as they say!

I think I am getting more wound up as its getting closer for me going back to work after my hols & I have a real long shift next w/end Sat morning thu 2 Mon morning! with 2 sleep-ins in between. ARGGGGGGGGGH!!!! : - [

My brain is already working overtime thinking of all the things that can possibly go wrong! Oh I wish i wasn't such a pessismist! Never mind have to try & keep focussed! Bloody hard though!!

I hope you are well today & not turning to blue!! Srange thing that breathing lark isn't it!

Been doing the garden today & put the washing on the line! Now waiting for it to rain!! Only a pessismist would say that! but I have an excuse for that one as this is British weather we are talking about!

I will keep my toes & fingers crossed for you with the house hope that helps! : - ]

O well better go now & check on those rain clouds! Ha Ha!

Take Care

Love Pip's XX

P.S Hi Mary hope u r well today! Take Care Love Pip'sXX

me
15-04-04, 19:29
hello pips and kate, thankyou for my fab messages its so great, cause they always put a huge smile on my face, thankyou x hope you lovely ladys are ok and had a lovely day, mines not been a brill one boo hoo! i woke up very very early with huge amounts of worry in my head, tried to change the channel but it went fuzzy ha ha, so got up and thought i would have breakfast but cor blimey alittle panic popped its horrible head up so i tried to huff and puff it away, it was horrible but i beat the bloomin thing but goodness i felt shattered. its now the evening and im loads better i went to see my friend today whos just had a baby it was really hard acting like i felt fine and all cheerful, the baby is so tiny and so beautiful. all day ive been worrying about what to do about the house if i can think of a problem that could happen i will and like you pips it all whirls around my head, kate i think its fab you have sorted your house out its wonderful, i hope ill be saying the same in the next few days its all so scary one minute i think ...yep, it will be all ok people move all the time and then the little panic monster pops in and frightens me ...why? im such a pessismist too. pips i know what you mean about work im finished for this week but my head has fitted aliitle extra space to start worrying about going on monday... oh its so annoying well my lovelys i must stop moaning sorry ive gone on but its so lovely having you there you are so kind and special night night love from mary xx

pips
15-04-04, 22:37
Hi Mary thanks for message,

Sorry to here you were feeling bad, glad you are feeling better now though. : - ]

I will try & get you an areial for those fuzzy channels Mary! He He : - ]

I know exactly what you mean when you feel rubbish but have to put on a brave face. It's so very hard isn't it. Your friend's baby sounds lovely though.

Part of me would love a child but i get to scared in case i couldn't cope I am 30 now though & worried about my biological clock tick tock!!! I am so very undecided i can't imagine me having a baby but then on the other hand i cant imagine me not! If that makes any sense!!!!!!?

Oh my head is so crazzzzzzzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!

Why do we worry so much in advance to. I know its so silly as you end up ruining the time you do have off. I keep telling myself this but will it listen. Noop! Naughty head!!

Thanks you both for listening when i moan on too. I am here for you also so have a good old moan anytime. It feels so good to not be alone in this. You are special indeed!!

Take care Mary

Love Pip's XX

Hi again Kate hope your ok XX

sal
16-04-04, 18:07
Hi Mary, Kate & Pips,

Im pleased to be home, have missed the crack. Started to get withdrawal symptoms and had to talk to myself!!!! Completely maaaaaaaaddddd! You all seem to have had a busy week. Sorry to hear you had a bad panic attack pips, they are evil things arent they. I can completely understand how you feel you cant breath. Good old relaible men seeing the simple solution about you wouldnt know!!! Kate im pleased youve made a decision on the house, isnt it strange how even if there isnt anything to worry about we look for something. I would think i had lost my brain if i didnt worry about something. Maybe thats the answer it needs surgically removing (obviously when they find it!!!) I bet youre looking forward to your hols Mary, i think i would need a stun gun to get me on a plane, so shows how positive you are going away. Ive had an ok time, hardly saw the kids, which of course was brill!!! They only came back for food or MONEY, got none left now. I have just taken Samantha to her dads for the weekend, so im going to spend the time chilling out in the peace and quiet, and ill try to stay away from her easter eggs????? Anyhow i am going to unpack now YUK. Speak soon. Missed you all loads Sal xxxxxxxxxxx

kate
16-04-04, 18:51
Hi Sal,

Glad to have you back! Good to hear you had a nice holiday.

Have a great time unpacking and doing all that post holiday washing!

Always spoils a great holiday doesn't it all that washing and then ironing???

Anyway, speak soon

Kate x

pips
16-04-04, 21:23
Hi Sal,
Lovely to hear you are back safe & sound.

I'm glad you had a nice time. Yes it's so horrible having to unpack & do all the washing /ironing etc...

I find that I always end up taking to much with me. I don't wear it but then have to iron it again when i get back as its all creased!!!!. Worry If I got to many clothes, worry if i haven't got enough. Its all so much worry isn't it and if i wasn't worrying(which is well never!) I would worry that i wasn't worrying. ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGH Is there ever an end to it all?????????????.

Loved the idea of a stun gun though Sal!!

I hope you enjoy your peaceful weekend! Relax & Chill.

Take Good Care & Stay POSITIVE : -]

Love Pip's XX

pips
16-04-04, 21:25
Whoops sorry about the 1st message to you. Just noticed that! Must of been those naughty worry gremlins press the sumbit button again!!!!!!!
Love pip's XX

sal
16-04-04, 21:50
Hi Pis Thanx for message Suddenly from no where having a really bad day or should i say night I do need a new head, well maybe go the whole hog and get the body to Ha ha! Going to put video on and try to chill. You sound really cheerful, hope you are ok???????????? and still breathing (coz it does help, now and then!!!!!!) Speak soon Take care Sal xxxxxx

sal
16-04-04, 21:51
P.S. Stuff the diet need CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!

Sal xxxx

nomorepanic
17-04-04, 17:55
quote:Originally posted by pips

Whoops sorry about the 1st message to you. Just noticed that! Must of been those naughty worry gremlins press the sumbit button again!!!!!!!

Pips I removed the first post you made in case you are wondering where it went [:p]

Nicola

pips
17-04-04, 20:44
Hi Sal,

Thanks for your message

Sorry to read you are having a bad day. Isn't it weird that they just seem to appear from no where.

One minute you doing whatever & then BANG it hits you!! You think whats all that about!! They are so naughty those panic monsters arn't they. You give them a good telling off & tell them where they can stick there anxiety/panic!!!!!!!!!!! He He

I'm not to bad thanks. Still working myself up about going back to work Tuesday & "putting on my brave face mode" but whats new!!

Haven't stopped breathing yet, so that's good news. : - }

Yep I could certanly do the new head & body thing. Esp as iv'e had chocolate over Easter. Must get my comfy trousers on!!!!

Hope you enjoyed your film & chocolate & you are feeling better. : - ]

Take Care

Love Pip's XX

pips
17-04-04, 20:47
Hi Mary & Kate,

Thinking of you, and hope you are both well and having a nice weekend.

Take Care

Love Pip's XX

sal
17-04-04, 21:37
Hiya Pips, i am sure you will be fine when you go back to work on Tuesday, just KEEP BREATHING!!!!!!! Ive been to see a Chinese Herbalist today and had accupuncture, **** stuck pins all over me!! got another 8 sessions booked so ill see how it goes. He gave me some stuff to make herbal tea but just looks like a bag of wood chippings to me. Forgot to ask him if i contained calories! Im going to be brave and go into the chat room. Will be in touch soon. Take care XXXX P.S. Hi Kate and Mary how are you both doing today? xxxxx

nomorepanic
18-04-04, 13:56
Good luck for work Pips - we will be thinking of you.

Sal - sounds like fun!!! Have you tried the wood chippings yet?

Nicola

sal
18-04-04, 16:56
Hi Nicola how are you today. Yes ive tried my wood chipping when i tipped the bag into the pan there were seeds, dust and alsorts in the bottom. I have never tasted anything so revolting in my life. If it doesnt help cure it will surely kill me!!!!!!! xxxx

Sal xxxx

nomorepanic
18-04-04, 17:05
Hi Sal

I am doing well today thanks.

Sounds horrid to me [xx(]

What is it supposed to do anyway? Cure you or kill you - lol

How often do you have to drink it?

Nicola

pips
18-04-04, 18:07
Thanks for your message Sal, :D

Those woodchippings sound deliscious.

[:0] What are they supposed to do exactly???? Do they come in chocolate flavour? [^] We have a shop in Exeter like that. I've never plucked up the courage to go in there though [8)]

I was thinking about putting some chippings on my garden. Perhaps I should pop in and see if he's got any spare going. He He [:p]

How was the accpuncture, is it painful? [}:)]

I haven't done much today really. Only the dreaded Tescos shop! That's enough for one day!!!!!!! [|)]

Had a horrible dream last night. Did my usual worry thing whilst laying in bed, wondering if I going to stop breathing [xx(]

When I did finally get off. I dreamt I had a big Panic Attack. So when I woke up a short while later I felt really panicky. I had to convince myself it was just a nightmare. That's twice I have had that dream now. Spooky [V]. O well something else to add to my worry list ;)

Hope you are well today.:)

Let us know if the medicine cures you,or you start sprouting branches He He [:o)]

Love Pip's XX

pips
18-04-04, 18:10
Hi Nicola,

Thanks for your message, hope all is well with you : - ]

Take Care

Love Pip's XX

nomorepanic
18-04-04, 18:21
Hi Pips

Sorry to hear about the panic attack - are you ok now?

I am ok today just a bit bored. I was going to do some gardening but it has rained all day so I am stuck inside like a caged animal.

Spent most of the day online - what a productive life I lead eh?

Back to work tomorrow - boo!! why does the weekend go so quick!!


Nicola

sal
18-04-04, 19:04
Hi Pips, how are you feeling now. No the accupuncture didnt hurt, just felt weird someone sticking needles in me. Not one of my favourite pastimes!!!! Ive been like Nicola and have spent most of the day online, was going to do garden but pleased it was raining because just didnt feel up to. These herbs are supposed to treat the root of my problem not the symptoms. I have to have two drinks a day for two weeks and he reckons i will see a major change. I cant describe what its like but i am sure ill have a nightmare about it tonight!!!!! Ill keep you informed about how it works, probably be even more mad when finish taking it!! Ha ha Speak soon. Love Sal xxxxxx

me
18-04-04, 21:00
evening girls, phew........ where has the weekend gone!!! boo hoo, work tomorrow, the butterflys are going for it in my tummy . welcome home sunny sals x sounds like you had a good hoilday, im so pleased x was the weather ok? hope so. dont know about the tea bags though think ill stick to my p.g tips ha ha.sal did you enjoy your video what did you watch i got 2 out over the weekend and both of them werent too brill my husband hasnt stopped taking the mickey... hello my lovely pips you sound well x which is great x oh i know how you feel about work, remember the thought is always worst, when you get there it will be ok x i wish these butterflys in my tummy would hear that and clear off ha ha. hello kate hows you x hope your ok and enjoying your weekend mine has gone so quick it has involed eating huge amounts....for a change ha ha x and doing lots of cleaning. havent seen alot of our foster boy cause hes been outside playing, mind you its been quietand like your family sal hes only come in when hes hungry or wants something ha ha . hows the weather been where you girls live it was wonderful yesterday but its been showers and dull all day today well i must go and do pack lunches for the boys take care love from mary x
hello nicola how are you hope you are ok x

pips
19-04-04, 13:36
Hi Mary lovely to hear from you.

You are right Mary the weekend goes so quickly. I know u r right about work as well. I just wish i could stop thinking about it!

Sorry you got out rubbish videos! Don't you find that men always let you choose then if its crap they can blame you!. If the videos good though, even if you choose it they manage to take the credit!!

Weather was lovely saturday really crappy sunday though.

I hope all is well with you and you are having a good day and those butterflies have flown away!!!

Take Care

Love Pip's XX

Are you ok Kate? I haven't heard and am a bit worried. XX Pip'sXX

pips
19-04-04, 13:42
Hi Sal,

Thanks for message.

I am feeling ok. Although I wish i could stop thinking at times. Sometimes I think my brain is going to explode with to much thought. (If that makes any sense?)

Having a quite day today. Bit boaring really.

Hope you are still enjoying those wonderful herbs! Keep posted on the progress!!

Hope you are well today

Take Care

Love Pip's XX

pips
19-04-04, 13:49
Hi Nicola,

Thanks for your message.

I'm not to bad thankyou. Having a quiet day today, preparing myself for my long dreaded week in work!!.

I hope you are having a good day at work. That's if you escaped from your cage!! He He.

Take Care all the best.

Love Pip's XX

sal
19-04-04, 17:39
Hi Pips

Hope you have a good day. Mine has been S***. I really hate it when you have an ok day and you wake up the next day and really wish you hadnt. Cant put my finger on it but feel really anxious and depressed today. Probably the chinese wood chipping posioning me Hee heee!! Take care

Lots of love Sal xxxx

sal
19-04-04, 17:42
Hi Nicola

How has work been. Think i need to get myself back to work keep my mind occupied!!! But then again how i feel today i think i have lost my mind completely. Just wish my head would drop of now!!!!!! I spoke to Darren last night. Seems like a really nice guy. I think like a typical woman i rambled on toooooooo MUCH Ha ha!!! Spedak later
Lots of love Sal xxxx

kate
19-04-04, 19:19
Hiya Pips,

I'm still here, bet you thought I got myself cured!! [:0]

On Saturday the kids were busy so I decided to drive to my parents house some 20 miles ago.

First time I have driven there on my own EVER [:I]

Felt a bit panicky but turned up the music and sang along and made it there in one piece!

Had a lovely, peaceful, kid free day. We went for a walk around the village and it was really nice.

Bit panicky again driving home, but not too bad!

Sunday was the most boring day I have had in ages. Pouring with rain and freezing cold. I stayed in all day feeling tense about going back to work today.

Anyway, this morning got up, kids went to school and me and hubby hit the supermarket [V]

Came home and headed off for work. Don't know why I always get worked up about going cos it all went fine, as usual!

Nice and peaceful here. Daughter out with her mates, son revising for exams.

Hope your ok, Pips, and had a good day!

Take care

Kate x

Meg
19-04-04, 19:42
Superb news Kate. Congratulations.

I hope you are pleased with your success and treated yourself !

Meg

sarah
19-04-04, 20:12
Hey Kate

Nice one matey...20 miles? im impressed!!!

love Sarah
xx

we arent mad, just the next stage of evolution :)

kate
19-04-04, 20:24
Hiya Meg and Sarah,

Thanks for your messages!!

Meg, I never even thought of it as a success, just that I had done it and got through it!

Sarah, did you have a good holiday?

Kate x

Meg
19-04-04, 20:46
Anything that I did that involved anxiety or discomfort that I hadn't done since Before Panic - BP- I considered a huge success and made sure I wrote it down in my success list, reported it in great detail to nearest and dearest who were expected to be suitably complimentary and kept recalling it to myself and smiled like a cheshire cat for hours afterwards.


Meg

"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We're afraid."
"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We will fall!"
"Come to the edge."
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.

- Guillaume Apollinaire

pips
19-04-04, 21:10
Well done Kate! Thanks for you message & i thought you were cured!!!!!!!

Thats great news about the driving give yourself a well deserved pat on the back!!!!!

Glad you are ok.

I bet you feel like you have achived a goal hey!

I know that work feeling well Im still winding myself up about tomorrow. Crazy isn't it.

O well must go now long day plus sleep in tommorow.

Take care

Love Pip'sXX

pips
19-04-04, 21:17
Hi Sal,

Sorry to read you are feeling crap!!

Your right its strange how it hits you out of nowhere & it is very depressing i know.

keep up the herbs you never know you might just blossom literally!!

I hope tommorows a better day for you.

Take it easy & stay POSITIVE (Or try your best too!!)

Love Pip's XX

sal
19-04-04, 22:33
Pips u will b fine tomorrow Keep those positive thoughts in your head and do the brave face thing we all love and know so well. I will be thinking of you loads. Will keep in touch about herbs!!! Ha ha Lots of love Sal xxxx

sal
19-04-04, 22:34
Kate really pleased you managed to drive, shows how you can do it. You did really well and should be proud of yourself. One steps forward is beta than none. Speak soon Lots of love Sal xxx

kate
20-04-04, 08:19
Hiya Sal,

Thanks for the words of encouragement, means a lot :D

How are you doing today?

Take care

Kate x

pips
20-04-04, 12:53
Thanks so very much for your words of encouragement Sal, It really means alot. You are so very kind. [8)]

Hope you are well today. Keep up the good work with the hebs!! [:p]

Take care of yourself :D

Loadsa Love Pip's [:X] XX

sal
20-04-04, 14:45
Hi Kate

Got a new names for my self "Panic Attacks R Me" or should i say Us. Having another bad day. Got Samantha of school as she was sick yesterday, but she is find today and DOING MY HEAD IN!!!!! The only good news ive got at the moment is that ive lost 4lbs Ha Ha I feel like i am going mad today, just want to be on my own. It really freaks me out when i go into a panic attack, what if i lose control and ive got Sam with me. Wish these horrible thoughts would P*** Off!!!!! Anyhow i hope you are having a better day. Speak soon Take Care Lots of love Sal XXX

sal
20-04-04, 14:47
Hiya Pips

Howz work gone, ok i hope. I think these chinese herbs are sending me doolally!!!!! Not going to have any tomorrow and see how i feel. Maybe the chinese guy thought i was asking for panic attacks and not to get rid of them LOL Going to go out for a walk with Samantha I promise i will try not to lose her Ha ha

Lots of love Sal xxxx

pips
21-04-04, 15:50
Hi Sal,

Thanks for your message. I survived work HOORAY.

Although I did feel a very panicky at one point. As we took some residents to the theatre. To see Pirates of Penzane.

I was sitting right in the middle & felt quite trapped. So that didn't help!

The second thing was in the musical they repeat the words again in some songs when the sing. It was really bizzare as I just couldn't seem to take the repetativeness of it all? I felt like screaming & running out!! Thought that might not have gone down too well though!!! So I did my Zippy impersonation off Rainbow! : - I & kept up that brave face mode!!!

It's a shame because the kid's did put on a great perormance!

Somehow made it through though. Just got my long weekend at work to cope with now! Yipee (NOT!)

Sorry to read you are still feeling crap : - {. Perhaps these herbs are getting all of the panic out of you at once? Then you will be cured!!!!

Congrats on the weight loss. I am still trying so hard. I Think I've got to run a marathon to shift a pound lately! Sticking isn't the word!!!

Hope you enjoyed you walk with Sam and things are a little calmer for you!

Take Care & stay POSITIVE!

Loadsa Love Pip's XX

Hi Kate & Mary hope you are both well :o ) All the best Loadsa Love Pip's XXXX

sal
23-04-04, 17:46
Hi Pips

Pleased work went ok. You did really well sitting through a performance without getting that dreaded running for your life fear!!!! Still on chinese herbs dont feel much different. Had some more accupuncture today and i nearly allowed myself to relax, got another one booked for monday. So what else have you been up to this week. Ive spoken to Kate in the chat room this week. Keep up the PMT but share some with me!!!!! Speak soon

Lots of love Sal xxxx

pips
23-04-04, 20:31
Thanks for message Sal,

Course you can have some of my PMT. Share & share a like my moto is.

Dreading this weekend going in 9am tomorrow & finish monday 7am ARRRRRRRGGHHH.

Haven't been feeling to well either yesterday or today been feeling anxious (thats nothing new though!) dizzy & sick. Not sure whether its a bug type thing. Or whether its due to stress over the weekend at work. Anyway fed up with feeling crap really. Never mind. Keep fighting hey.

Well done on the accupuncture. Keep up the good work.

Going for a nice bath now & try to relax.!!!!!!!

Take care hope you have a good weekend.

Love PMT Pip's XX

sal
23-04-04, 21:03
Hi Pips

Great to hear from you, but i am sorry you have been feeling dizzy & sick. Its a horrible feeling and even if it was a bug we are going to blame that dreaded anxiety. Poor you at work all weekend, but know how you feel because when i am at work i usually work one weekend out of two. But i am sure you will be fine, you have got through this week so well, so you will get through the weekend. If you need any crack you know where i am. Take it easy and dont stress yourself. Hope you enjoyed your bath.

Take care

Lots of love Sal xxxxx

me
25-04-04, 17:40
hello pips kate and sal its me the long lost worry woman how are you all you sound like you have all had a busy week my computer went wrong it was awful i felt lost without you all x well my week has been up and done nothing to major just the odd worry moment still trying to sort the house out but i know we are definatley moving which is quite exciting now we have made our minds up kate hos all your housey bits going ok i hope x and a big well done for you doing all that driving x pips you sound well and you did fab going to the theatre i went for a sun bed today but i couldnt stay in there because i felt so closed in another waste of money.... doh pips ive had a bug this week which has been horriblke its made me dizzy and very sick so you might of had that ,hope your feelin better now x hello sal wow you have had accupuncture how was it ? my friend john had it done a couple of weeks ago and said it really hurt but he is a big wimp ha ha hows your weekend been hope you ve had a good one i send you all my love take care love from mary x

kate
25-04-04, 18:43
Hiya Mary,

Awww sorry to hear that your computer has been playing you up!

The surveyor came to do the survey on our present house on Friday and we have instructed the survey for the property we are buying.

I can't let myself get excited about moving until I know that the survey's are all ok, which, knowing my luck, there will be something major wrong either with our house or the one we are buying.

Have you had your house valued yet? How far do you want to move?

Hope you are keeping well

Take care

Kate x

sal
25-04-04, 18:52
Hi Mary

Glad you are back with us. Would feel like i had lost a limb without my computer at moment. How are you feeling? Im pleased that you are definately going to move, its definately a positive way forward. I been feeling rough lately but woke up today and actually felt well. Ive been in the garden all day, so that is all finished and i now feel totally chilled. I bought Sam a paddling pool today its massive so she has had great fun in that with her friends. Anyhow keep in touch.

Lots of love Sal xxxx

sal
25-04-04, 18:55
Hi Kate

Hope you have had a good day. Like you will have read ive been busy and feel really good for it. I am sure both surveys will be fine, but i know what its like when you really want to move, your petrified something will be wrong with either properties. I guess everyone will feel like that. Hope the weather stays like this coz as still of work i could be greedy and hog the sun!!!!! Anyhow will speak soon.

Lots of love Sal xxxxx

sal
25-04-04, 18:57
Hi Pips

How has your weekend at work been. I hope you have been feeling ok and sailed through it. Been thinking about you, can you take then outside when the weather is like this because it has been really nice where i am. Let me know how it went and how you are. Speak soon.

Lots of love Sal xxxxx

sal
25-04-04, 18:58
P.S. Kate

Be chilled about tommorrow you will be fine, keep plently of paper by your side and lots of Pips PMT.

Bye xxx

Sal xxxx

kate
25-04-04, 19:08
Hiya Sal,

Just watched the weather forecast, going to rain here the rest of the week!!

My PMT has deserted me, I just don't want to do the extra hours now!

Too worried about it all, dunno why, it's just typical of me.

Anyway, it seemed like a good idea at the time. One minute I feel that I'm ready to do more, the next I feel that I am worse than ever.

Anyway, take care, Sal

Kate x

nomorepanic
25-04-04, 19:26
Kate

Give it a go ok? If you don't like it then either tell them you would prefer the old hours or lie and say that family commitments mean you can't do it. Do they know you suffer? Could you tell them that is the reason?

You will be great - just go tomorrow and take all our thoughts with you and call me if you need to ok - you have my number.

We will be thinking of you and we are proud of you for taking it all on.

Best of luck mate!!!

xxxx

Nicola

kate
25-04-04, 20:00
Hiya Nic,

Yes, they do know that I suffer, but not the real extent of it.

I feel real stupid about it cos it was me that asked for the extra hours when my workmate said she was leaving.

I told the boss that I was ready to take on extra hours and that I thought I would be able to cope.

Well, that was how I felt on Thursday, now it's Sunday and I've taken a reality check and just wish I'd never opened my big mouth and things were how they were before.

When will I ever learn, eh?

Kate x

nomorepanic
25-04-04, 21:32
Kate

You can do it ok. If you try and can't then so what - at least you tried. Failing is in not trying isn't it?

Nicola

sal
26-04-04, 09:16
Hi Kate

I hope today goes ok for you. But like Nicola says failing is in not trying. If it is too much at the moment you could reduce your hours again, but that doesnt mean you wont be able to take on more hours in the future. Youve done the biggest step by offering to do then, then you coped fine on Friday, so youve cracked it. Keep hold of Pips PMT, youll be fine. Here if you want to talk. Take care.

Lots of love

Sal xxxx

sal
26-04-04, 09:18
Hiya Nicola

Hope youve had a good day at work. Dont know how you fit everything in with work, the site etc. Credit to us all. Well there is no sunshine today, was hoping for a day in the garden dossing!!!!!! Think i am going to force myself to the gym, dont feel energetic at all but its pointless sitting around. Anyhow will probably catch up with you tonight. Take care.

Lots of love

Sal xxxxx

pips
26-04-04, 13:52
Hi Girls :D Sal :) Mary ;) Kate [8D]

Thanks for your messages Sal. I have survived the whole weekend in work. Yipeeeeeeee:D

The stupid thing is the whole time i was at work my anxiety levels(10 being the highest!)have been about 5/6 so not to bad! Then this morning when i finished & could go home. It shot right up to 10 :( Drank some good old Bach remedy which eased it a bit [|)].It really made me MAD [}:)] though am I totally wierd [:p] or what [?]

Hope you have had a nice quiet weekend Sal. Did you do much [?] The weather has been fab the resisidents definately enjoyed being out & about in the sunshine bless em [8)] Hows the herbs going[?] have you noticed any difference yet [?] (apart from a few leaves) He he!

Hi mary, poor you not having your computer.[V] Once you have one, you wonder how you ever managed without one [xx(] I hope you had a lovely weekend. Thanks for your well wishes also. I do feel better then I did thanks :) I hope you have fully recovered from your bug. All I need now is to get that new care free brain transplant and i might begin to feel human again! [:p] He he. : 0 )

Hi Kate, Sorry to hear things haven't been to great. :(
I know how you feel when you agree to something. At the time it feels right esp on one of the better days. You think just go for it.

Then as you said you wished you had never said anything. If you really can't cope with the extra hours. Just tell them you are sorry and that something has come up and you need to go back to the original hours. I hope whatever you decide, it gets easier for you.

I hope you are all keeping well. Got a nice pile of ironing to do now :( Hubby got it all washed & dry over the w/end bless him. I told him to leave the ironing though as i needed the clothes to wear for my summer hols!!!! Not sure if they would have been ready in time ;) He he.

Take care & stay POSITIVE : 0 )

Loadsa love All PMT Pip's [:X] XX

brill
26-04-04, 14:56
Hi pips I can,t rember If I have said hello to you so I will say hi and welcome,

BRILL

Never give up
Never give in
Life,s to short
Make it last :)
Brill

sal
26-04-04, 17:39
Hi Pips

Good to hear your weekend at work went ok. Isnt it funny how we control our anxiety (just about) at work then when its over we fall to pieces. That has happened to me on many occasions. Maybe because we know we have to at work so we try and be as positive as we can, then when we get home all the build up weve get on top of comes flooding out and makes you feel 10 times worse. Hope you have had a good day. Speak soon. Keep up the PMT

Lots of love Sal xxxxxxx

sal
26-04-04, 17:43
Hi Kate

Been thinking about you today, how did it go at work. I hope it went well and you coped with it and it was just those horrible nerves we get before we do something new. And if it does turn out to be too much for you, you should be really proud that you tried. I am sure you will have been fine. Ive had a relaxing day, ironing etc YUK. Sam is going tonight with her dad and i wont see her again until next monday, will miss her but also really looking forward to the break. Speak to you soon & let me know it went.

Lots of love Sal xxxxx

kate
26-04-04, 18:31
Hiya Sal,

Well............... It went fine thanks, surprise, surprise!

I woke up at 6am and thought "arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, work!!".

Felt anxious before I went but once I got going, was fine.

Did a couple of things wrong! Didn't take any sandwiches or baguettes to the staff room. But, I just laughed and joked with the staff about it saying that normal service would resume as soon as I was more capable! And they just laughed along with me and told me not to worry about it!

Bit rushed tonight, quite a bit to do cos I don't have time in the morning, but everyone here chipping in and helping.

Thanks for thinking of me, Sal!

Take care

Kate x

pips
27-04-04, 13:17
Hi Brill

Thanks for your message & welcome. : 0 )

A big hello to you to!!!!!!!

Hope all is well with you

Take care

Love Pip's XX

pips
27-04-04, 13:33
Hi Sal,

Hope u r well today. I know what you mean about the anxiety thing. You control it to a point when you have too.

Then all of a sudden, when you can relax it can explode. I suppose its like a big release in a way as you say.

I have got to go in work again now & sleep in till tommorow : 0 ( Never mind. Got the weekend off though yipeeeeeeeeee. Must practise lots of PMT before hand. Try not to let worry, anxiety & panic have the weekend off with me to!!!! Wouldn't it be great to have a break from it all for a whole day (Iwish)! Do u find that or do u get days completely anxity free?

What r u up to at the Weekend?

Anyway hope this message find you well

Take care

Love Pip's XX

Glad its going ok Kate, thinking of you Love Pip's XX

sal
28-04-04, 13:54
Hi Pips

Hope the sleepover went ok. No i dont think ive ever had a totally anxious free day when ive felt completely like i used to. I get good days though but not totall panic monster free!!!! So how are you feeling today. Im feeling ok Had wanted to plant some seeds in the garden but its raining hard here. Might pop to B & Q to buy some lavander to plant in the garden, really like that. So what are you going to do at the weekend, i hope you dont spend all your time catching up with jobs you have not done whilst at work!!! Ive just done my housework, ive got a valuer coming out to value my house because i am remortgaging it. Not sure a dust free zone will add any money Ha ha!! Anyhow take care and well speak soon.

Lots of love Sal xxxx

sal
28-04-04, 13:56
Hi Mary

Sorry didnt get much crack with you last night. I took me ages to realise that it was you, then i was talking to Darren. Bit slow on the uptake last night, think the accupuncture had numbed my brain where ever it is at the moment!! So how is everything going with regards to the house move, are you still feeling positive about it. Anyhow Mary if you are in chat room tonight, ill realise it is you (daft git i am!!). Speak soon. Take care.

Lots of love Sal xxxxx

pips
28-04-04, 18:11
Hi Sal,

Cheers for message. Work was fine thankyou. I survived again until i finished my shift. Then those naughty little anxiouse feelings kicked in! and just to help them along I went to Tescos. Yeah that really helped (NOT) Especially when I picked the slowest till there with a trainee staff member. Good stuff hey. Never mind got out in the end!!!!!!!

Glad you are ok.

The rest of today i have just been catching up with a few programs i've videoed. The trouble is i video all these TV progs i fancy when i am work but i never get chance to catch up with them because of the shift work. I have still got 2 films i videoed at Christmas!!!!!! to watch yet. Hubby has stuck a sticker on the tape saying films to watch from 200BC Ha ha funny man!!!!!

At the weekend we are going to pop to the Garden centre. They also do nice relaxtion CDS there so i though i'd get a new one. I find it good to have a nice aromatherapy bath & listen to the CD & try & relax!! Try being the operative word!!!

I have this crystal ball like thing also by my bed where you put scented beads in the bottem of it & it releases nice aromas. Plus it lights up different colours and has a choice of about 5 different relaxing sounds. It really is fab but the trouble is when i listen to the water ones i.e The brook rainforest etc. It keeps making me want to pee all the time. WHOOPS he he.

Did you get your lavender in the end? we have lavender in our garden. Lavender is good for anxiety.

Thank you also I don't feel so mad knowing i'm not the only one who doesn't have a whole anxiety free day!!!

I'm hoping to go for a cycle ride at the weekend to. Weather permitting. Knowing my luck it will rain!! Whoops that was the pessimistic pip's coming out not the positive!!!!!

I hope the house value went well for you.

Hope all's well

Take care

Loadsa love PMT Pip'sXX

me
01-05-04, 09:55
good morning girls x oh it seems ages since i had a good old natter to you all, how are you all? ok i hope. you sound like you have all been busy. ive been at work all week and looking after our foster boy, its been a full on week. my little brain has been working hard too! bloomin thing! and last night it worked over time, it was horrible i went to the doctors yesterday as i noticed i was nearlly out of sleeping tablets and thought as im off on my hols next tuesday i better get some more, my doctor was off so i had to see another doctor who told me i couldnt have anymore tablets!!!! i went into a mini panic, he told me i have been taking them to long and they are very bad for me, so i thought ok, ill go and get some nytol from asda (oh i was very naughty and brought some shoes too!!!) well i did everything he said had a warm bath tried to relax but bloomin heck i havent had a wink of sleep, i layed there having panics through out the night, i was horrible to my husband i kept him awake too, bless him i am a bit of a wreak today! the silly thing is i could go and have a sleep now but i darent cause i wont sleep tonight, and ive got lots to do...im meant to be taking my little lovely niece swimming in an hour but im scared to drive with her in my car just incase i have an accident. i had so many horrible thoughts in the night which i couldnt control, oh its horrible ive been feeling so much better recently. sorry girls to let my steam off with you, i know its better for me not to take the tablets, its amazing how i always think the worst, i keep thinking im never going to be able to sleep again..... slightly over the top, i know ,but when i feel like this i cant stop my brain going for it!!! i know i should be thinking postive!!! you all sound like you have been having a fab time in your gardens x oh sal i love lavender, i have some spray for my pillows which my lovely friend brought me for my birthday its meant to help you sleep better ( not last night! ) but itmakes my husband sneeze he he. pips you sound like your working really hard bless you its good to hear your putting your feet up and watching your videos, you made me laugh when you said youve got ones from christmas .... me too i do it all the time i tape something and never get time to watch it x girls i never have a worry free day , oh i wish i did , roan my husband always says i even make up worrys so i can have one!! how mad is that. kate oh you sound really well x and your move is moving along, kate its so scary we are still moving and little worrys pop up all the time in my head and the amount of "what if's" that come out of my mouth daily, roan says if we all worried about the "what if's" no one would do anything, which i guess is very true, but it doesnt stop me worrying ha ha x we have found a house oh its lovely and yippee its got a garden.well my lovelys i hope you all enjoy your bank holiday x im off to tenerife on tuesday, ive all ready started worrying about it all...i hate flying at the best of times so goodness knows how ill get on tue! i send you all my love take care from mary x

kate
01-05-04, 10:15
Hiya Mary,

Good to hear from you.

I would perservere with the Nytol, the warm bath before bed and the relaxation.

As your doc said, sleeping pills should be for short term use only. If they are used too long, we lose the ability to fall asleep ourselves.

So, although it is hard to do without them at the moment, it will be beneficial in the long term.

Hopefully your holiday will relax you and enable you to get some good refreshing sleep.

Pip's and Sal, hope you are both well, talk to you soon hopefully!

Take care all

Kate x

me
01-05-04, 10:16
thanks kate, its lovely to hear from you x hope you are ok love from mary x

pips
01-05-04, 17:18
Hi Girls :D

Lovely to hear from you Mary. You have had a busy week haven't you. Sorry you haven't been sleeping to well. :( I know exactly how you feel. I lie awake for ages & my brain just whirls so much. My brain has also got into a pattern of when I do finally get off to sleep I keep waking up every two hours. It's so frusrating.[V] You would think by the next night I would sleep right through. As I am so tired but no this goes on for ages. What I would give to have just 4hrs sleep together!!! [:0] Hope things have improved for you. Things I do to help me sleep are: [|)]

Warm soak in the bath
Spray Radox Good Night spray on my pillow.
I also have this spray called yawn mist which you spray lightly on your face trouble is u have to wipe it of in about 2 mins so not ideal really![V]
Then comes the Valerian tincture 3mls in a glass of water.
Also a plug in chamomile smelly thing.
By the time i have done all this though my alarm goes off. As it's morning & time to get up. He he [:p] Then I worry I haven't had any sleep [B)] Great stuff hey.

I'm trying this new method out now. I gave up smoking nearly 2yrs ago now (although it doesn't get any easier & i still crave [}:)] ) so i decided this morning that if i can do that. I can give up anxiety panic & worry!! Pretty positive this morning with it all. Thinking I can do this (NOT)

Unfortunaly it hasen't worked :( have had a really stressy day. That panic monster has reared it's ugly head again.[xx(] So have to keep working on the give it up method. My hubby just laughed & said u give up worry etc.. yeah right & i'm the Pope!! (Maybe it's possible?) Nice to know he has faith (NOT!)

I hope your holiday goes well for you Mary [8D] & you have a lovely time. I'm sure it will. Stay POSITIVE and I will be thinking of you!!

Hi ya Kate ;) How are you [?] I hope you are well and you have sorted out your work hours.

Hi Sal are you ok [?] I hope so.

Well i have waffled on long enough. You never know it might have sent you all asleep. He he [:I]

Love to you all

Take Care & stay POSITIVE (Even if you feel like crap!!) Thats what I tell myself anyway!!

PMT Pip's XX [:X]

sal
01-05-04, 18:50
Hi all

Good to hear from you Mary, soz didnt go to well at docs but you are better trying herbal remedies, says she who used wine as a sleep aid!!! Well i bet you cant wait for your hols. I hope you have a really good time and totally chill out. If my doc told me i couldnt have any diazepam i would be just like you and go into major panic, cant cope mode. But we have to keep trying everything we can, even chinese (HORRIBLE) herbs!!! Just got a new computer and had so much chew with it i nearly chose a window for it last night. Sat up until 4 am trying to work it, but no such luck. Anyhow fingers crossed might have sorted it but wont say too much to tempt fate. You really enjoy your hols and bring lots of sunshine back for us girls!!! Take care and leave those nasty thoughts at home, not enough room on the plane for them!!!!!!

Lots of love Sal xxxxx

Sal xxxx

sal
01-05-04, 18:53
Hi Pips sorry havent replied before now but computer broke on Thursday, so panicked without my life line, bought a new one and its been a git ever since. Kept kicking me out of emails!!!!! So instead of spending day in garden chilling been swearing at a machine that wont even talk back!!!!! I hope the weather has been nice for you and you managed to get out on your bike. But at least youve got the weekend of work. Enjoy the rest of the weekend. Take care.

Lots of love Sal xxxxx

sal
01-05-04, 18:54
Hi Kate

How are you feeling. Bet your pleased to be having a long week of from work. Thing is they pass too quickly!!!! I just hope it sunny tomorrow and i can go in the garden to chill out. Keep in touch and let me know how you are. Take care.


Lots of love Sal xxxx

me
03-05-04, 09:36
morning girls thankyou for your lovely messages x its so lovely to have you all there, you know what im goung through well the sleeping monster and his friend the panic monster are staying over at mine at the moment they have got very settled at my house ive asked them to leave but they are not shifting!!!! saturday i went to bed thinking all positive thoughts i followed the little leaflet the doctor gave me....no ciggys an hour before bed, no watching tv in bed, no telephone conversations before bed, a warm bath i got a cd from the hypnotherapist for sleep and yippee i did have a good nights sleep but blinkin heck i layed awake all last night doh!!!on saturday i went to boots to see the pharmacist who told me not to use nytol as it wasnt that good but to try some kalm but it will take 2 weeks to get into my system.....so lets keep our fingers crossed. im totally wacked today and its only 9.30am argh!!!oh only one day until holiday my tummy is full of butterflys im so scared my head is full of scary thoughts what if i panic on the plane or in tenerife i think its cause im not with my husband....he is my brick, and not having you girls there argh its awful i will try and bring some sunshine home for you,did you have a lovely day yesterday it was beauitful here all sunny and warm but today its al grey and wet! yuk. wey hey sal, youve got a new computer, is it all set up now? i wouldnt know where to start if i had to set one up your very clever x pips i hope your feeling better x why does those horrible monsters bother us all,its not fair .thankyou for all your tips ill give them a go,what is the valerian tincture? ive never heard of that. have you all enjoyed your bank holiday weekend i hope you have x im now going to my sisters as its my little lovely nieces birthday today i need some match sticks to keep my eyes open. kate how are you? hope your ok x well take care my lovelys hope you all have a great day love from mary x

pips
03-05-04, 18:04
Hi Mary great to hear from you.

Congratulations for having one nights sleep! Its so hard isn't it. Everytime i wake up after 2hrs i keep going for a pee. Its so frustrating its like i have a timer in my brain and when i awake after 2hrs. I think i'd better go for a pee now i'm awake. Then it takes me ages to get back to sleep again ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.

Valerian is a herb which has been made into liquid form. It's a natural substance and works along the same lines as Kalms etc.. You can buy them in tablet form aswell. It is supposed to be good for sleep & supposed to settle your nerves also. I haven't tried it that much yet as I have only just bought it. So not sure if it really works yet. Once piece of advice though. It says on the bottle mix with water or juice. Go for the juice as I have tried it with water & it tastes horrible!!!!!

I have had a nice weekend a few visits from mr panic but whats new!! I can't believe its over & i'm back to work tommorow though it goes so quick!

I hope you had a nice time at your sisters & you have a fabulous holiday You will be missed!! Just tell yourself that Mr panic monster has a fear of holidays & flying so he can't possibly come with you!

Take care look after yourself & stay POSITIVE

Love PMT Pip's XX

pips
03-05-04, 18:24
Hi Sal,

Great to hear from you. Sorry to hear about your computer. Well done for getting the new one fixed in. I hope it has settled down for you now and not being so naughty!!!

Well at the present time i am knackered. We went for a cycle ride today. I haven't really done much off road yet. Just normally into Town or Sainsburys which is about 3 miles there & back. Today we did 14 miles the first bit was lovely, cycled 7 miles & we knew there was a pub at the end so it made it all so worth while! Got to the pub lovely scenery sat outside looking at the river drinking Malibu watching the world go by. Saw mr panic & mrs anxiety go by in there boat on the river. Set some swans after them to peck a hole in there boat!!!! Ha Ha

Then came the cycling back after all that relaxing it was bloody hard. Plus the wind had really picked up & it was agaisnt us all the way. We made it in the end though hooray. I just feel like I have seized up now. Hopefully I should sleep tonight!!!!!!!!!

Hope you have had a nice weekend and that all is well with you!

Take care

Loadsa Love PMT Pip's XX

me
04-05-04, 07:43
morning my lovelys, just a quick message to say bon voyage. thankyou for my lovely message. oh i cant tell you how nervous i am i cant stop going to the loo!!!!! i must be quick cause ive got so much to do! ill miss you all so much, take care, have a fab week love from mary x

sal
04-05-04, 09:16
Mary

ENJOY the break.

Hope the weather is lovely and you totally chill

Will miss you to.

Take care

Lots of love Sal xxxx

pips
07-05-04, 21:10
Hi Sal & Kate

How are you both? I haven't heard for a while and am worried hope you are both ok?

Take Care

Love Pip's XX

kate
07-05-04, 21:27
Hiya Pip's,

I'm fine thanks!

I used to post a lot more on here, in the morning before I went to work.

Now I'm in earlier, I don't seem to have a lot of time to myself! Running round like a mad thing of a night trying to get everything done.

House sale is still dragging on. The stupid, little things that the solicitor picks up on are doing my head in big time!

Just want to get a moving date and get cracking.

How are you doing anyway? I've seen Sal in chat a couple of times in the last week.

Hope you are well

Take care

Kate x

pips
08-05-04, 13:16
Hi Kate,

Thanks for your message. Glad you are ok!. Sorry, you now what us sufferers are like WORRY WORRY WORRY!!!!!

I hope things are still going well with the house! They really do drag there heels don't they! It's such a slow process isn't it!

I read one of your messages earlier. Well done for getting to grips with your new hours! I know it isn't easy.

They are very short staffed at my work place at the mo. The head of care keeps asking me to increase my hours. The trouble is I dont mind doing the odd extra now & again but once you say yes to her. She expects it all the time! and I don't want that! I'm just left with the guilt of saying no to her now!

Otherwise things are just ticking along up & down you know how it is!

Today I'm going into town for a haircut as she couldn't fit me in yesterday! So i have to face the dreaded town centre on a Saturday! Thought I might cycle in as well. (if i don't get blown off as its so windy here down in Devon!) I must be MAD!!!!

Tommorow i am going to Plymouth for the day as it's my Auntys Birthday. Looking forward to seeing them loads. However very anxious about it also! Which makes me very annoyed !

Hope you are well

Take Care

Love PMT PIP's XX

sal
08-05-04, 23:34
Hi Pips

Sorry i havent been in touch all week but had a pretty **** one. Im pleased you sound ok and hope your visit to the hairdressers went ok. Had a bbq today for Sams birthday so feel exhausted now but past sleep if you know what i mean. But since people arrived at 2 (loads of my friends as well as Sams) i actually felt normal like they are. But when theyve gone you start to think again dont you, and now im worrying what if i feel bad again tomorrow. Viscious circle isnt it. Ive spoke to Kate a bit this week in the chat room. Anyhow i well type more tommorrow. You take care.

Lots of love Sal xxxxxx

pips
10-05-04, 14:29
Hi Sal. :D

Lovely to hear from you. Sorry you had a **** week. Hope its improved for you so far!

Hairdressers went ok thanks. However the town on Saturday was a different matter! I went through every back road I could to avoid all the crowds! I just coundn't cope! Got through it in the end though!:)

Yesterday went down to Plymouth for my Auntys Birthday. Very anxious about it in the morning. It really annoys me about getting anxious when I enjoy doing something surley you shoud feel happy? Not a quivering wreck!!!! Anyway the day went ok all in all. A few anxious moments as usual though! Not so good travelling back either which was a bit strange![:p]

I'm sure if I could erase those words anxiety panic & depression out of my brain all would be well! If someome mentions the word to I immediately dwell on it.:( Its like I am hypersensitive to it. I wish my brain would just switch off from it all at times.[}:)]

Didnt sleep well last night again!! Hubby had a bad dream & jumped in the night. Which made me jump. I could not settle for ages then. I was in a right state heart racing so scared etc.. :(
I thought how pathetic am I![:I] So today I have just felt so low & couldn't stop crying.:( Hubby has been acting very silly [:o)] & trying to make me laugh which has helpd. Now hes gone to work though. So it's just me left with my crazy wacky mind! [:p] LOL

So i know exactly how you feel it is such a vicious circle!!!! I went in the chat room on Sat night which was nice.;)

Hope all is well with you Sal[?]

Take it easy & stay POSITIVE [8D]

Loadsa Love PMT Pip's XX [:X]

sal
10-05-04, 16:23
Hi Pips

Sorry youre having a bad day. Youre right we should be able to erase the words anxiety, panic & depression from our heads then we might be NORMAL!!!! Pleased you went into the chat room on Saturday, it is good talking to others that suffer even if just to forget it for a while and chill out. Ive done nothing today apart from lie in the garden. Totally lazy day. Was Mary going for a week or two, cant remember. Another thing about this illness i get so forgetful. Well I hope you feel a bit better soon, let me know how you are and we could chat later if you want. Take care and hold on to the PMT

Lots of love Sal xxxxx

pips
10-05-04, 21:24
Cheers for message Sal,

Gonna have a horlix & early night i think How sad LOL! So adventerous hey!!!!

Got a long day at work 2morrow plus sleep in YUC :0(

Not sure i can't remember whether Mary is going for 1 or 2 wks don't know if she ever said?

I hope all is well with you & you are all chilled after your lazy day lol

Thanks 4 your kind words chat again soon mate : 0 )

Loadsa Love PMT Pip's XX

Meg
10-05-04, 21:42
Mary was going for a week.

Meg

sal
10-05-04, 23:01
Mary

Hope you have had a brilliant holiday and feel chilled and relaxed and ready to share those vibes with us LOL Hope the weather was nice. How have you been feeling all week did you stop that panic monster getting on the plane, i really hope so. Missed your chat, but you will have to get in touch when youre home and settled and let us know how it went. Forgot to ask where abouts you were staying, been there quite a few times myself before the panic monster starting ruling my life. Hope to hear from you soon.

Lots of love Sal xxxx

sal
10-05-04, 23:03
Pips

Hope you manage to get a good night sleep and feel ok at work tomorrow. Horlicks is not sad at all i love drinking it, just wish i could stick to that and dump the wine. Hope you feel better tomorrow than you have today. Take care and let me know how you are.

Lots of love Sal xxxxxx

pips
12-05-04, 15:40
Hi Sal, thanks for message,

How are you?

Do you ever wonder if the only emotions you have left are the bad ones! i.e. anxiety panic depression etc... Where are all the good ones hiding to? I ask myself LOL

Work went ok thanks. Just feeling shatered now. Got a long weekend to boo hoo : 0 (

Hope you are well. Have you been up to much?

I have got to go and type my appraisal now for work tommorow. This is where they make me feel a failure as they want you to achieve so much and have all this ambition. When all I want to do is get on with my Job of caring!

I have been in the position of being in charge before in another job. I just ended up getting more anxious & stressed. Thats why I choose this new job. I thought not so much preasure he he NOT!!!!!

So I am really dreading my meeting with the Head of Care tommorow. As soon as you say no sorry I really don't want to take on anymore responsibility. I want a life! LOL They look at you as if you got two heads! I feel such a failure because of my lack of ambition though. Just because they are. They don't realise its hard enough some days going to work with anxiety/panic! let alone having to live up to there high achieving standards!I don't wish to tell them that though! LOL.

Anyway you take good care Sal.

Loadsa Love PMT PIP'S XX

pips
12-05-04, 15:43
Hi Mary,

Hope you are well and had a Fab holiday! Missed you lots.

Take Care

Love PMT PIP'sXX

me
21-05-04, 11:49
Hello my lovelys, im back xxx ive missed you all loads x ive just been having a good read and you all sound like me, bless you, its been a hard two weeks !!! ARGH..., i thought i would chill and get lots of sunshine...no not me, i had panic and no sunshine DOH! i only went for a week and it started good, got on the plane had a diazipam felt fine got to the hotel it was wonderful, so posh! settled into room went and had tea....wow!! the restaurant was fab, so much yummy food(i went to slimmers world on monday goodness i have put on 10pounds ha ha well there was no sunshine so i stuffed my face he he) then went to bed and yippee went to sleep then got up did all the bits we had to do, then decided to go and sun bath, it was so hot, laid by the pool for half an hour then the clouds came over, oh bloomin heck it got cold and the cloud stayed with us for the rest of the hoilday, it was so chilly. i got very uptight and my brain started to work over time, every worry i could have i did! i tried to share my thoughts with my mum but i felt so guilty she was on her hols, i didnt want to worry her, i even considered finding an internrt cafe so i could get in touch with you, but i got through it ....just at times i got my knickers in such a twist i had to make excuses up to my mum so i could go to our room just to sort myself out, it was so hard at times, then on the way home i had a huge panic start, it was awful; i thought i might go and open the plane door....why? i couldnt control my thoughts at all, it was so horrible and scary, i went and locked myself in the plane loo which wasnt good cause it was such a small space, anyway in the end i told my mum how i was feeling she was brill she chattered about all sorts and got my mind off of all my panics then when we landed my lovely husband was waiting for me, oh it was so wonderful to see him but then he told me about a meeting we had to go to with the foster company we work for, about me being ill it put me into panic straight away ive had the worst week this week, panics are coming and going. we had the meeting with the foster people which was ok ish im not comfy with things like that they wanted to know all about my panics, which ive tried to explain to them so many times but they have not wanted to know which makes me so cross i tried to be so honest with everything then months later they want to drag it all up again, but its over now, they know eveything.goodness ive waffled on sorry x i didnt sleep last night so i hope this all makes sense!
Pips hows you x hope work is ok, you sound like you have had so much on your plate, dont ever think you are a failure you are wonderful x i dont know what i would do without you and your lovely messages they always put a huge smile on my face. wow you live in devon you lucky sausage, roans mum was born in devon i cant remember where? we went on holiday there a few years ago it was lovely ill have to ask her where it was.
Hi sal x its so lovely to hear from you x how are you hope your all ok. hope your not having any horrible panics xx cor i wish i could change from the vodka to horlicks ha ha! hows the weather were you are, its been lovely here in norwich mind you i feel up for going out today to face the world but bloomin heck its cloudy whats it with me and clouds ha ha well i hope you have a lovely weekend.
Hello kate x hope you are ok and work is going well. i know what you mean about not having a spare five mins, if im not busy trying to sort life out im worrying ....boo! hows the house going? well i hope, ours went up for sale yesterday we are going for it...oh its scary but also exciting let us know how your getting on.
Well my lovelys i better go and do some ironing oh its one thing i really dont like doing... take care i send you all my love from mary xxx

me
21-05-04, 12:50
pips only mary here roan has just come home and ive asked him where his mum comes from.... its bovey tracey! xx

sal
21-05-04, 13:16
Hi Mary

Good to hear from you. Sorry the holiday wasnt a huge success, makes it worse when the weather is bad doesnt it. Weve all be worried about you. Thought you had decided to stay there!!!!! Coming home and needing to be grilled about your panic was pretty bad timing but you got through it hon. So are you feeling any better now that your home or is Mr Panic still getting to you. Im gutted now that you have felt so bad over last few weeks we all really hoped the holiday would help you. Well i went back to work on Tuesday, dreaded it but it went really well. Will be in touch later, have to do the shopping before Sam finishes school. You take care. Speak soon.

Lots of love Sal xxxxxxxxx

pips
22-05-04, 12:20
Hi my sweet Mary,

Thank you for your lovely message. I have missed you.

So sorry to hear that the holiday wasn't brillient for you. Still you done it! That is a big achievement so well done you!!!!! Give youeself a big pat on the back you deserve it! I am proud of you!

Its strange this illness isn't it! Latley I have been feeling pretty low with it all! plus my IBS & I have been so bloated latley. I then sometimes get a burst of positive energy. Then all of a sudden it bursts. I then think hell where did that go! That naughty Mr Panic Monster burst my bubble!

We are going to have to sort him out you know! I'm gonna stick a few pins in him see how he likes being burst. LOL

I hope your Panic has eased for you now Mary mate I am thinking of you!

I am lucky living in Devon. I orginally come from Plymouth. I lived in Taunton for a couple of years. Met James (my hubby now) he came from Salisbury. So I moved there to be with him. I lasted a year! I missed my Mum and the West Country so much. So bless him he works as a signal man on the trains. A position came up in Exeter he applied & got it! So thats where we are now. I am so pleased to be back in Devon though! Its so handy for both the seaside & countryside! I do love the out doors! Bovey Tracey is lovely to.

Are you from Nottingham Mary? I can't remember it just rings a bell thats all. Do you like it where you live?

At least it's all out in the open with the Foster people. It could not have been easy for you though!!!

Are you back at work yet? If so how are things going?

Take care

Loadsa Love PMT PIP'S XX

sal
26-05-04, 19:16
Hi Pips

Hope you are ok and having a good week. Just thought i would post you a short note as i go away on holiday on Friday morning for 5 days. You take care and ill speak to you soon. By the way i am taking all you PMT whilst away because really anxious about been abroad on my own with Samantha. AAAHHH

Lots of love Sal xxxxx

sal
26-05-04, 19:17
Hi Mary

Hope you are feeling better than you were the last few weeks. Nice going on holiday but its also nice to be home. Im away on friday so i will catch up with you when i get back. Take care.

Lots of love Sal xxxxx

pips
27-05-04, 13:18
Hi Sal Mate,:D

Thanks for your message :)

I hope you have a really Fab holiday[8D] I will be thinking of you! Where are you going to[?]

How has work been for you is it still all going well[?] I hope so for you!

I am going to Plymouth for the week on Tuesday to look after my Mum's german shepard puppy. As Mum & her partner ars going away for a few days to meet his mum![:p] I am quite nervous though! Hopefully I won't loose Misty (the puppy) while i'm out walking her.[:0] ARGGGHHHHH

Take Care Sal, you & Sam have a wonderful break you deserve it!;)

Remember what I told Mary, The panic monsters hate flying so you can wave them off at the airport! Or perhaps a ruder sign might be more apropriate!!!![:0] LOL

Loadsa Love & PMT;)

Stay POSITIVE[^]

PMT PIP'S XX[:X]

sal
27-05-04, 18:06
Hiya Pips

Thanks for your message. Work has been ok thanks a lot better than i anticipated. Enjoy yourself in plymouth and i am sure you wont lose the puppy!!!!! I am of to mejorca staying in Santa Ponsa. Bit anxious as only me and Sam, i suppose would be nice to have some adult company but this is a major step for me so if i can do it, i think it will help my recovery a lot. You take care.

Sal xxxx

me
30-05-04, 20:36
Hello girls xx sorry ive been away again, ive been hit by the bloomin tooth ache monster now!!! hes not nice either!!! my filling fell out while i was in tenerife, which was ok but in the last week its been awful ive never had pain like this before, i went to have the little tooth looked at and freaked out when they said i would have to have it pulled out!! (i had one pulled out just before my panic attacks started in feb!) so the nice dentist lady said i could go to a special dentist who would put me asleep, but within a few days the pain got so bad i went in and said she could take it out but the cheeky tooth has got an infection so she couldnt take it out so im having it done on wednesday............im pooing my pants but i need this horrible pain gone, goodness ive always got something wrong with me these days im sorry.
So how are you lovely two x your both on holiday, hope your both having a super dooper time, sal i hope you and sam are relaxing, soaking up the sun x sal, i bet my mum says she would like some adult company when she goes on holiday with me ha ha x it is so good you have gone, it does make you more confidenti cant wait to hear all about it x
pips have you still got misty! im sure you have x ha ha. i hope you enjoyed your time at your mums and the horrible panic monster hasnt bothered you, i wish he would leave us all alone. i know this sounds strange but ive only had one big panic since i have had tooth ache, i think im so wrapped up in my tooth i havent had time to think of anything else, mind you i wouldnt wish this pain on anyone. pips i live in norwich which is in norfolk, its a lovely place very flat and full of farmers!!! but like you we have the best of both worlds we are close to the sea and the country side and we have a fab city, if you both ever fancy a break you are always welcome to come down or is it up? well my lovelys i must go and slop lots of clove oil in my chops i cant wait to hear from you both lots of love from mary xx

me
01-06-04, 10:19
Morning girls x hope your both ok, its tilly tooth ache here....im still moaning about it....sorry! its coming out tomorrow yippee although im now getting a wee bit nervous about it, the butterflys have started, but im more worried about taking our little foster boy to see his dad today.....ive got to drive 1 1/2 hours to a prison ive never been too and im so scared ill have a panic attack, but i have to do it my husband normally does it but he has to go to work, so its up to me today. im such a wimp, ive never met his dad, i know hes a nice man but its just the thought of having to be locked up for 2 hours trying to make conversation...oh ive got mega butterfly. hey ive just had a giggle to myself, you are proberly still both away so im kinda talking to myself ha ha, see i knew i was abit bonkers ha ha.well i must get this little man looking his best i send you both a big cuddle take care love from mary x

kate
01-06-04, 10:28
Aren't I included in your gang anymore????:([xx(][:0]

Kate

me
03-06-04, 10:49
HELLO KATE XXXXX we have missed you, oh you are one of the founder members of the gang xxxx hows work? hows the move going? hows you? all ok i hope x the girls are on there hols. ive now got to take the little boy to his friends so this is a quick one im so pleased to hear from you be intouch soon x love from mary xx

me
03-06-04, 10:54
hi yer girls just a quickie to say it went really well in prison and my tooth popped out yesterday with no problems, cor the man who gave me the sedative was a right treat on the eye my friend who went with me said i was very funny he gave me a quick prick(of the needle kind ha ha)in my hand i was wafferling on then i just fell asleep wow if i could fall asleep like that everyday then the next thing i knew i was home it was great well i hope your ok cant wait to hear from you lots of love from mary x

sal
04-06-04, 00:58
Hi Kate

How have you been at work. You are in our gang you started it off. Hope H as backed of and things are getting sorted but if not, give her a wide birth, you are worth more than she is. Have you made any decisons about the move. Are you still not wanting to move? Only think of yourself and family on this one. All that counts is your happiness. Speak soon. Going to reply to mary now so you will see from there how hols went but really enjoyed it>

Take care

Lots of love Sal xxxxxxxxxxx

sal
04-06-04, 01:05
Hi Mary

How are you? Missed all the crack whilst been on hols but must admit went on internet a few times to see how you were all doing, didnt reply as didnt want to look to sad and desperate LOL Had a brilliant time, anxiety and panic didnt follow me, left them at home, but doing that as soon as home yesterday they greeted me with open arms. The hotel we stayed in was really posh, so was on my best behaviour LOL Sam loved it, didnt want to come home. She met loads of friends and i met a lovely couple who took me under their wing, in fact after all the anxiety about going away and convinced i couldnt do it, i didnt want to come home. Weather was really hot so we both got a good tan. Had a massage centre there so had reflexology and an indian head massage which both helped me keep chilled. So you had your tooth out with a little prick!!!!!!!! Better than suffering tho how you were. I hope pips is coping ok at her mums and hasnt lost the puppy. Will send her a short message soon. Sorry to keep rabbitting on but feel so proud of myself doing the holiday thing on my own with Sam especially how i suffer with anxiety that i cant cope with her and might lose control. Feel like ive made a positive step forward and want to do it again soon. Well hope your ok and keep in touch soon to let me know how you are. Take care.


Lots of love and hugs Sal xxxxxxxxxxx

sal
04-06-04, 01:09
Hi Pips

Hope youre break at your mums went well for you and you didnt lose misty????!!! I hope you are feeling well and chilled. Enjoyed my holiday loads but if you read my post to Mary you will see that. Bet the break away from work has done you the world of good. You take care and we will speak soon.

Lots of love and hugs Sal xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

me
04-06-04, 13:31
Hola sal x yippee your home x and a huge yippee for doing it, having a great time and for getting a tan x you sound like you had such a fab time. sounds like the hotel was good the one me and mum stayed in was really posh too, its great, i could get used to being posh ha haand the food was out of this world how was it at your hotel bet it was super dooper. if i win the lottery at the weekend ill take you pips and kate on holiday....keep yer fingers crossed. ive got to rush cause ive got to look after my nieces tonight i should of been there half an hour ago oh im so naughty and always late take care lots of love from mary xx

pips
05-06-04, 00:56
Hi Lovely Ladies :D

Thanks for your messages. [^]

So sorry to here about Tilly the touthache. Bet your glad it's out now! Well done you brave girl! ;) Even if it was just a little prick [:0]LOL!

I hope the visit to the foster boys Dad went ok for you! Hope all is well with you Mary. Take care mate. Love & hugs PMT PIP'S[:X]XX

I back from Costa del Plymouth now [8D] Lol. I survived although experienced a few waves of Fear[}:)]but i just try to go along with them i find if i fight them they get worse :(

I didn't loose Misty either (FEW) She has been gorgeous though. I can tell her all my problems and she just cocks her head and looks at me with her docile eyes! and really looks interested and doesn't answer back either[^] My hubby only looks like this if he's had one 2 many![:p] I find that he has selective hearing, and does answer back! Should have swapped him for the dog LOL (only joking!;))

Been so busy in Plymouth though thought i'd suprise Mum & decorate her toilet & bathroom while she was away! bit like changing rooms but with out the expertise LOL [:o)] I found though what with talking Misty out walking twice a day and doing up the rooms has totally knackered me. Physically I ache all over :( but my brain can't relax and switch of now i've finished it. I'm finding it really hard to wind down. AAAAARRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHH [}:)] Do any of you girls find that when you exsert yourself you find it hard relax after [?]

Another positive step I have taken this week is Hubby & I have joined the gym. The instructor told us during exersise you get a release of endorphins which make you happy. I haven't quite got them yet. I'm to busy trying to pick myself of the floor after collasping after all that exersise [}:)] LOL I'm dreading tommorow as part of the induction they do strength training with you. Well tomorrow is the dreaded day where they will test my strengh. I wonder if they will count lifting a feather. LOL Also they are going to take a photo for the membership card. Lets hope they take it before the session!!! One of the reasons we joined is they have a fab health suite. Pool, sauna, steam room, sunbeds jacuzzi. Oh yes and to loose weight and get fit! Nearly forgot that bit!!!!LOL

Well Sal brill news on you holiday! told you Mr Panic & Mrs Anxiety don't like flying [:o)] I'm so pleased you had a good time though you are doing so well at the mo. I am proud of you mate! Keep it up! Take good care Love & hugs PMT PIP'S XX [:X]

Hi Kate, please remember you are always part of are gang don't ever feel left out! How are you keeping[?] Hows work been has anything been resolved as yet. Hows the move going have you got a date yet[?] hope all is well looking forward to hearing how you are getting on. Take care Love PMT PIP'S[:X]XX

sal
05-06-04, 13:45
Hi gang

How are we all today. Ive got a bit of a hangover, went out with the girls last night and had lots of white wine!!!! Mum had Sam so in a moment of madness decided to go back to hers when the pub closed at 2 am!!! So woke her up and Sam, climbed into bed with them as Sam always sleeps with Granny!!! Mum couldnt sleep so she ended up on the floor So as you can imagine im not in the good books at all!!! She has just brought me home, pleased to get rid of me i suppose!!!

Well Pips i am pleased it went ok at your mums, i know what you mean about the mind not slowing down even when your exhausted. We should have a switch that we can turn of when we feel like that. Good on you for joining a gym, i joined one a few months ago and it has really helped me, espcially the jaccuzi, sauna and steam room, totally chill out time.

Hi Mary, Hope you toothache has eased of!! Still rooting for you to win the lottery tonight then we can all go on our hols!! Would be brilliant wouldnt it. Just hope you have picked the right numbers LOL!!!!!!

Hi Kate, How are you, sorted anything with the moving decision? Bet you have enjoyed having a week of work, the only problem is it goes over too quickly. Hope to catch up with you in the chat room soon. Anything happened about H or is she still been a pain in the butt!!! Well i must go as Sam has a riding lesson at 3 so better get myself sorted.

Speak to you all real soon. Take care.

Lots of love Sal xxxxxx

me
05-06-04, 18:14
Hi yer girls x well im grabbing a quiet 5 mins its being a mad weekend!! yippee pips is home, welcome home strawberry we have all missed you,sounds like you had a good time which is wonderful xx A!!! look at you joining the gym, FAB!! i wish i could pluck up the courage to do it, i go swimming now and then but im too shy to go to the gym i think everyone is going to stare at me.....WHY! im the last person anyone is going to stare at! Phew what a weekend so far i have had a house full my lovely nieces stayed over last night we stayed up very late and watched Freaky friday then i tried to go to sleep but the brain wasnt having any of it it kept me awake til about 4, loads of thoughts flying around. yesterday afernoon we went to the beach and popped our toes in the sea, it was lovely, anyway this morning i got woke up at about 6.30 with a little girl telling me she had wet the bed... ARGH!!!!! So we changed her and the bed then went back to sleep til 8 then we got up cause we wanted to do some painting which we did....im so mad!!!then little fosters boy friend turned up at 9.30am so we all had a huge breakfast yummy, full fry up.....naughty but oh so nice then my neighbour who is 8months pregnant asked me to look after her 5 yuear old boy as she was feeling poorly so its been crazy ......i sould be going out tonight with roan for a romantic meal but i havent got the energy! my sister is going to look after our foster boy, but all i want to do is sit on my chubby bottom and stare at the tv... im such a lazy daisy, ive played so much hide n seek and football today i should be 2 stone!!!!Sal have you got your fingers crossed for the lottery tonight xx oh wouldnt it be lovely x wey hey youve got a hangover babe!! oh its horrible but isnt it great when your out enjoying yourself, hopefully i might have alittle hangover tomorrow he he....Kate hope you are ok, what have you been up too, hows the move going...perhaps i might go on the live chat tonight and see if your there xx mind you lets see how much vodka falls down my throat tonight ha ha xx
take care my lovelys keep smiling lots of love from mary xxxx

pips
06-06-04, 21:07
Hi girls,

Thanks for your messages.

Sal I hope you are over your hangover now. I hope you still got lots of that PMT you are doing so very well at the moment. Big pat on the back to you!:0) I hope you are having a good weekend!

Hi Mary, You are so not a lazy daisy! That saying made me chuckle LOL. You have been a very busy bee haven't you. All those children! Hope you had a more peaceful day today! Did you win the lottery then? I know what you mean about the gym. It's taken me ages to syke myself up & join. I was really paranoid about people staring etc.. but we go at the quiter times which suits us both anyway as we do shift work. It is funny though as some people love themselves so much. One bloke looked as if he was covered in baby oil or something. He just kept flexing his muscles and staring at himself constantly in the mirror. You could almost visulise him saying I love me who do you love! LOL. Had my strength training session that was a real laugh, as I am only 4ft8 and a half inches (that half makes all the difference!) some of the equipment I just dangled from I looked like a monkey!LOL I couldn't keep a straight face though as the instructor was showing us how to use the equipment. Anyway my hubby went on the chest press the concerntration in his face looked like he was constipated. LOL As for the srength well today I really ache. Lets hope it improves!

Hi Kate. How are you? I hope you are having a nice weekend!

The worst think I find about this illness is accepting it!I have come to the conclusion though that I will probably always think anxious thoughts. It just seems to be part of me. As long as I try to accept it though and cope with it it's ok! I find if I fight the feelings it's worse and they fight back! Just got to keep practising that acceptance thing!

Well I hope you are all well girls! Take it easy and stay POSITIVE!!

Loadsa love & hugs PMT PIP'S XX

sal
07-06-04, 21:29
Hi Pips

Hope you are ok. Sounds like you have fun at the gym LOL I agree with the last bit about fighting it, sometimes it is better just to ride with it and it does eventually calm down, although it is always there in the back of our minds. I can never imagine having a totally anxiety free life, and no doubt when we hit rough patches it will be always there to remind us!!!!! Like you say i think the biggest step forward is accepting it. It my first weekend on coming up, so ive got a face tripping me up!!!! Have you stole my PMT back as for the last few days i have felt really down, dont suppose the megga hangover on Saturday helped, but annoys me that why cant i go out and get P****** like my mates and just have a hangover the next day, like them, without the added anxiety and panic attacks. Had a really bad night last night, so felt down all day so Sam has gone to her dads to give me a bit of a break. Well hope work is ok. Keep it up at the gym!!!!

Take care

Lots of love Sal xxxxx

sal
07-06-04, 21:35
Hi Mary

Guess we didnt win then!!! Well there is always next week LOL You sounded to have a busy time with all the children, bet you didnt have a minute to yourself. so did you go out for a meal or opt for a romantic night infront of the TV. No doubt whatever you did you shared it with Vodka LOL Hope you are feeling ok, will speak soon. Take care

Lots of love Sal xxxxxx

sal
07-06-04, 21:37
Hi Kate

Have replied to your other post, but thought i would say hello on here to. If you are back at work tomorrow, remember H will get what she deserves. Just remember you are better than her and she obviously has a sad life to go around causing trouble like she has. Hope you get to the gym soon, the meal sounded like the best idea LOL

Take care

Lots of love Sal xxxxxx

pips
07-06-04, 22:24
Hi ya Sal, ;)

Sorry to hear you have been feeling so crappy latley.:( I think a double dose of PMT is in need here! [^]I will telepathically send you some down the line ok mate : 0 )[:0]

I know it doesn't seem fair does it why do we still feel s***y even when we are trying to relax and enjoy ourselves! It's like that nasty panic monster[}:)] sticks his nose in again! Oh well
we will just have to just keep kicking in to touch hey Sal!!!!

I know how you feel about the weekend at work. It's my long weekend coming to. I am terrible though I just keep thinking about it and winding myself up. I must try to stop dwelling so much![V]

I hope work goes well for you this weekend! let us know how you get on. I will be thinking of you!;)

Take care & I hope you feel better soon. Stay POSITIVE! :D

Loadsa Love PMT PIP'S [:X] XX

sal
07-06-04, 23:27
Hi Pips

thanks for your reply hon. so were are both working, i will think of you then. Havent received that PMT yet your are been toooooo greedy. You have to share with mates LOL

Hope you are ok and we both should stop winding ourselves up about work. PS lets hope it rains all weekend LOL

Take care hon

Lots of love Sal xxxxxxxxxxxxx

me
09-06-04, 13:49
hi yer girls x just a quick one to say hello and to send you my love ....im being very naughty and sending this from work! if i get caught ill get shot!!!! ive had to work an extra day cause i need a day off next week cause ive got to go on a foster course ( butterflys are flying already )sal x i hope you are feeling better, ive not been to brill either, very low and insecure and quess wot i did go out sat and got very piddled which was fab at the time but ive suffered since...and i said the same to roan...why cant i be like everyone else go out get tiddled and just have a average normal hangover but no not me i get panics, worrys and sleepless nights so my darlin your not alone xxxxx so im staying off the juice for a while.hello pips remember the best things always come in small packages so being little is lovely, now im quite tall 5ft 7 but blinking heck ive got short legs with a long neck and long body they used to call me a giraffe at school, he he. hope you are ok my sweet, hows work going? ok i hope. hows the gym? your fab for going. oh i would giggle if i saw a greasy man loving himself in the mirror he he. well loo my friend is asking for her computer back so i must go i send you a great big sunny hello take care lots of love from mary xx

me
09-06-04, 13:49
oh ps....i forgot to say SORRY girls i didnt win the lottery xx

pips
09-06-04, 22:48
Hi Girls,;)

Sal, Thanks for your message to hon! I promise I will squeeze every last bit of PMT out of me[:p] just for you ok! LOL

Hope the weekend goes well for you! Take it easy mate!;)

Hi Mary, Thanks for message, Never mind about the lottery better luck next time hey! You are so not a giraffe. I always wanted to reach 5ft it was my dream! Perhaps if I dangle long enough on the gym equipment it might work?[:0] LOL! The gym is going ok thanks it's trying to move the next day I have problems with![xx(]LOL Hark at me I sound like a real old granny ha ha! We have got a session on abdominal training on friday! Looking forward to that one NOT! We have a program to follow but it's seems to be growing more each time! Wish my legs would! ha ha[:o)]

Works not to bad thanks.

I hope everything is well with you sweet Mary.

Good luck with your Foster course I hope it goes well for you!I will be thinking of you! Let us know how you go! I will conjure up some more PMT for you! Sal has it all at the mo LOL!:)

How have you been latley Kate are you ok? I hope so

Take good care all

Stay POSITIVE:D

Love & Hugs PMT PIP'S XX [:X]

sal
09-06-04, 22:54
Hi Pips

Pleased you are enjoying the gym!!!!! Just a quick hello to see how you are. Sorry for stealing all your PMT but need it a moment feel crap.

speak soon

Sal xxxx

sal
09-06-04, 22:55
Hi Mary

Good luck with the course hon, sorry have no crack at moment. Just seems every now and then i dont feel like talking when feel crap. Take care. I will sort my head out and be in touch soon.

Sal xxxx

pips
09-06-04, 23:19
Thanks Sal Mate,
You have as much PMT as you need!
Hope you feel better soon.
Loadsa love PMT PIP'S XX

sal
09-06-04, 23:58
Hi Pips

Sorry for stealing it all. Seem to have done so well then when you hit a bad time you take it harder. Im horrible when feeling like this as dont want to talk to anyone, do you feel like that. Going to give my head a bid shake.

Take care hon and thanks for been here for me really appreciate it.


Lots of love and hugs Sal xxxxxxx

sal
09-06-04, 23:59
P.S.

Can i keep the PMT for a bit longer???????????????????

Sal xxxx

pips
10-06-04, 11:13
Hi Sal mate,

Thanks for posting messages and in my general anxiety one as well! I really appreciate you being there for me and the same goes for you as well hon.

Like yourself since about last last night. I have just started to feel really low and anxious! I understand what you are going through!

Of course you can have all my PMT thats if I can find it myself mate! I think the evil panic monster has stole it! I am determined to get it back though! I will then send the panic monster to have the electric chair LOL

Take care mate we will get through this!

See theres one POSITIVE sentence already! Got to get the P back just need the mental thinking now.
Actually got plenty of that at the mo! LOL

Lots of love & Hugs

Trying to find PMT PIP'S XX

sal
10-06-04, 20:28
Hi Pips

Sorry to hear you are not feeling to good either. Think mine has a bit to do with the other PMT LOL Must be the nice weather that has brought out the panic monster again!!! Hope you have had an ok day. Have you been to the gym anymore? I was going to go tonight after Sams dad picked her up at 7.30 but feel too tired so going to go and have a chilling bath and a glass or two of wine. Speak very soon. Take care hon.

Lots of love and hugs Sal xxxxxxx

sal
10-06-04, 20:30
Hi Mary

Hope you are going ok and keeping yourself busy as you usually are LOL Had two long shifts at work and been really busy so has kept me out of trouble!!! Weekend at work to YUK Bet the weather is really nice to, be just my luck LOL Anyhow you take care hon. Speak to you soon.

Lots of love Sal xxxxx

pips
11-06-04, 01:02
Hi Sal,

Thanks for message hon.

Your right there that other PMT certainly doesn't help either does it!

Yes I am going to the gym tommorow, I have got abdominal trainig YIPEEE! (NOT!) I don't feel like it much as i don't feel brill as you know, but I am gonna push myself to do it. I know what I'm like I will just panic & feel guilty for not doing it if I don't go. I can't win really! Oh my muddled brain LOL!

I hope you are feeling ok nd enjoyed your relaxing session! You deserve it! Make the most of it before your weekend on mate!

Take care lots of love & hugs back. Stay POSITIVE Still recovering my PMT PIP'S XX

pips
11-06-04, 01:03
Hi Mary,

Hope you are well sweetie and are having a good week.

Take care Loasda Love Pip's XX

pips
13-06-04, 21:25
Hi Sal,

Hope you have survived your weekend in work! How has it been for you hon?

Mine wasn't to bad! Went to see Harry Potter with the students on Saturday night. As it was a long film and I had drunk a coke I needed a pee half way through. I didn't want to get up and go on my own so I ended up taking a student with me! How pathetic was that! LOL

I haven't been 100% lately. I have just been feeling low and more on edge then usual! I am going to buck up though I have given myself a serious talking to! I have told myself the things I fear i.e anxiety depression are only words. How can I possibly be afraid of a WORD!!

Lets hope my muddled brain listens to me now!!!!LOL

I hope you are ok and you are feeling well!

Take good care

Love Recovering slowly PMT PIP'S XX : 0 )

Meg
14-06-04, 12:34
Energy follows thought.

The ancestor to every action is a thought - Ralph Emerson





Meg

'There can only be true courage when first there is genuine fear'

Dr.David Livingstone

pips
14-06-04, 22:07
Thanks Meg

I like that!

Love Pips XX

me
16-06-04, 12:53
Hello my lovely ladys x well there must be something in the air ive been feeling awful too!! very low, horrible thoughts, finding it hard to sleep, just rubbish. Went on foster course yesterday and had a huge horrible panic attack i think it has been building up since last week but it blew the wind out of my sails....it was the worst one since ive started them and i was on a course full of strangers in the middle of no where....but i got through it!!! i really dont know how? roan went to portugal last friday to watch the footy i thought i was going to be ok but its awful without him he is my rock(ive not stop worrying he might get hurt in a horrible stupid football fight he is such a gentle person , he hasnt seen any idiots fighting thank goodness) goodness i sound such a wimp, i was fine when he first went , i kept busy all weekend i had my family over and it was lovely ( my lovely mum is staying with me for the week which has been so nice) but i did feel very tired, then monday i went to work which kept my mind busy, i do two long days now, i work 8.45 til 6.15pm so i get 18 hours done in two days, but its exhausting so then i had to go and collect our foster child who was moody then the supermarket to get tea then yesterday i had to swap one of my work days to go on this foster course it was so horrible after i got over the panic attack all i wanted to do was go to sleep, i had to text my sister to get her to tell me she loved me......mad or what but i was so scared and insecure and i couldnt tell anyone on the course i felt so alone but im home safe now, sorry ive waffled on about myself but i havent felt this bad in such a long while sorry x
oh my lovely pips and sal i hope you are feeling better now and work is ok for the both of you, im sending you both a magic cuddle to make you feel better....here it comes x im going to play bingo tonight with my mum at the seaside he he so that should be a giggle . well my lovelys you take care i hope the cuddle works all my love from mary xx

pips
17-06-04, 12:35
Hi sweet Mary,

Thank you for the Magic cuddle it really helped. So I am sending you one right back and hope it makes you feel better honey!

So sorry to read how bad you have been feeling. It's even more difficult when our loved ones go away. What with that and the foster course it was bound to make you feel anxious Mary! Well done you though for sticking out the course you were so brave that goes to show how much inner strength you have when you need it! Give yourself a big pat on the back!

I understand how insecure this illness makes you feel. I am exactly the same and always need reassurance! Remember I am here for you if ever you need me Mary!

Works ok thanks just ticking along really!

I'm slowly getting there just up & down really. One minute I feel quite positive and the next those irrational thoughts start creeping in my muddled brain! LOL. Never mind I think I will always be muddled though! LOL

I really hope you are feeling better. Take it easy and have some PMT (I will prescribe a double dose to get you through this bad time!)

I hope you enjoyed the bingo!

Take good care.

Love & Hugs PMT PIP'S XX

me
18-06-04, 11:45
hello pips x thankyou so so so much for always being there x ive been feeling abit better. ive just taken my mum home,the house feels very empty im now going to start cleaning, i think i should start my own cleaning buisness he he. how are you my lovely x hope you are ok, do you have any plans for the weekend? ive got to drive to stanstead airport on my own tom....argh im so nervous, when i offered it sounded such a good idea!!!! but now im pooing my pants he he. its really dull here today the sunshine has gone away, lets hope it comes back for the weekend well my sweet you take care and have a great weekend sending you lots of love from mary xxxx

me
18-06-04, 11:50
hello sal x how are you? hope you are ok my love x hope the week has gone well. yippee its the weekend x well my lovely lady be in touch soon im missing you sending you lots of love from mary xxxx

sal
18-06-04, 20:07
Hi Mary

Sorry to hear you have a major panic attack through your course but in true spirit you got through it. I bet you are missing Roan but luckily he hasnt seen any of the awful fights our english thugs tend to get in. Bet he is enjoying himself though and we he returns you will not doubt appreciate him even more. Hope you enjoyed the bingo. Ive had a really crap week at work and just seem to be getting lower and lower. Cant stop getting anxious but feel like the depressive mood im in is drowning me. I ended up working a 14 hour shift yesterday due to some incompetent idiots not bothering to turn up for shift when they are getting paid £15 a hour over time. Then 2 prisoners had to go out to hospital so i ended up there until after 8. So was not too impressed with that. Well its the weekend and i should be jumping for joy but i cant ever get myself exicited about that. Yet another weekend on my own coping with Sam. Even though work has been crap i wish i was there tomorrow because i have got my total cant cope with Sam head on and cant do it alone. Should be used to it by now LOL Anyhow hon, sorry to drone on about me. I hope you have a lovely weekend.

Take care.

Lots of love Sal xxxxxxx

sal
18-06-04, 20:11
Hi Pips

Hope you are starting to feel a bit better. Wish we could banish those irrational thoughts for good. If only .................. Well you will see by my chat to Mary not feeling good, well to be honest i feel absolutely dreadful and trying hard to find the point of it all. Feels like ive got a life sentence over my head. Sam has a school friend staying tonight which sounds awful but i didnt really need but didnt want to upset her. Maybe her friend will keep her occupied just hope they are both good. Even though bad week at work, wishing it was Monday again, not sure why though as i am in charge all week, which will be a nightmare, but keeps me busy. Work has been so hectic this week i have had to bring all the pay sheets home to do over the weekend. YUK Anyhow you take care and will speak soon.

Thanks for been there for me.

Lots of love Sal xxxxxxx

Lo

pips
18-06-04, 20:34
Hi sweet Mary,

Thanks for your message. Glad to hear you are feeling better. I am going to a work mates BBQ tommorow which I am panicking over already getting myself all wound up as usual about all sorts of things! Whirl whirl whirl u know how it goes. I think I am going to promote myself to Chief representative of whirlpool now! LOL!

I am still feeling a little strange & muddled but whats new!LOL

Good luck with the airport trip tomorrow I will be thinking of you!

Have a nice weekend & take good care!

Lots of Love

A little PMT PIP'S XX

pips
18-06-04, 20:57
Hi Sal Hon,

So sorry to hear you are still feeling rough. I understand exactly how you feel esp the Life sentence but surly we can have a reduced sentence for good behaviour hey! We truly deserve it mate. Perhaps your cell keys can unlock our brain from all this irrational behaviour!

I have been feeling really anxious and low also as my IBS has been particularly bad at the mo causing exstreme discomfort and bloating. I just feel like it's ruling my life at the mo! I mean what makes me mad is that I eat healthy, work my but of at the gym and yet still feel like a beached whale with this bloating. Hubby keeps asking when I'm due!!LOL ARRRGGHHHHHH. Even when I went to the doctors a while back with this IBS he thought I was pregnant and scaned me to listen for the babys heartbeat. As I just bloat out like a puffa fish. LOL Sorry just had to have a good moan there!

I hope things get easier for you Sal I do understand and am always here if you want to chat!

Thanks for being there for me also!

Take good care

Loadsa Love and more PMT coming your way! Haven't got alot of it at the mo though so appologise for the rations! I will put in an order to my brain for 100% concentrated PMT! ok! Let's see what happens LOL!

Love Ordering PMT PIP'S XX

sal
18-06-04, 23:43
Hi Pips

Sorry to hear your ibs is playing up, all comes together doesnt it. Thanks for your kind words, really appreciate it. Take care and we will speak soon.

Lots of love Sal xxxxxx

sal
20-06-04, 00:47
Hi Pips

Has your order not come through yet LOL Hope work this weekend is going ok for you and you are feeling ok, and coping. Best place to be with the weather like this NOT!!!!!! Anyhow cant thank you enough for your posts recently as have been struggling, but im still her fighting it. Sam had a school friend to stay on Friday night, asked me as picked her up from school, when Ashley and her mum were there, so hardly likely to say no. Anyhow she is still her now, wants to stay until school on monday, so i cant be that bad!!! Must say though as you probably know Sam hates bedtime, but i sent them to bed at 11 p.m. and put a video on, by 11.30 Sam had turned it off and her night light and didnt even come into the computer room next to her room to twist. I am still in shock. Spent most of my weekend at my neighbours houses talking to them. Was at a bbq with them last weekend and told them about my probs and they opened up to. So last night when there hubbys were out they invited me over with Sam and Ashley and we stayed until 11.30. Had a really good chat while the kids played upstairs and tonight Sharon (one of the neighbours) came over mine with Lisa who is 3 & gorgeous and Jonathon who is 10, so Sam was smiling. She stayed until 11 and we had a really good nite. We actually said tonight that although we are all neighbours we are friends now and we should stop referring to each other as neighbours. When you hear those stories of neighbours from hell i cant believe how luckly how i have been as there are 4 houses at end of estate where i live and we all get on brill. They are all married but never 4get to ask me 2 join in. Well talked too long again!!!! Hope you are ok and never forget im here for you whenever you need me.


Lots of love Sal xxxxxxx

sal
20-06-04, 00:48
Hi Mary

Hope you are feeling a bit better and having a good weekend. I cant sleep tonight so thought i would pester you and pips LOL Anyhow i will try and get some sleep now and chill out. Speak soon and until then hon you take care.

Lots of love Sal xxxxxxxx

notts110
20-06-04, 06:32
hi pips, new member here too,i love this site and i intend to visit often,i've had panic disorder and all the associated crap for 22yrs,the thing is keep fighting.......

me
20-06-04, 11:06
oh my goodness ive just written a huge message to you both but like a plonker ive just wiped it......i cant believe it!!!!
Hello my lovely ladies x its mary no brain here ha ha.
Dear sal, oh my love you sound so low, here comes a magic cuddle i wish i could take it all away, darlin you are so special and strong i think your amazing, i have only looked after our foster boy on my own for a week and im shattered!!! i only work 2 days a week, you have such a demanding job, you are fab x you should be so proud of yourself x i hope your feeling better now, i wish we all lived closer to each other so we could all go out for a cuppa(well perhaps a vodka he he) and put the worlds to right.how has your weekend gone? has it been ok i hope it has x your neighbours sound lovely im luky too ive got nice ones too i hope when we move we have nice ones again. i cant believe i wiped the first message off it was massive im sorry im such a dim wit my friend used to say i was like alice from the vicar of dibley which used to upset me but blinking heck i think she was right ha ha well my lovely you enjoy the rest of the weekend if you have any little worry moments this week just remember how mary and pips need you x take care lots of love from mary xx
Morning my scrumptious pips,how are you? hope you are ok and enjoying your weekend. im sorry you have not been feeling to great i think we are all in the sae boat at the moment i cant get rid of this little worry monster in my head he keeps letting butterflys fly in my tummy he is so horrible, ive got another nasty course to go on this week for my normal job so i should think that is not helping, talk about everthing coming at once i keep thinking this time next week it will all be over which is silly cause i wish my life away! yippee i went and got roan from the airport yesterday...i did it!! it was ok , i couldnt wait to see him, the drive home from the airport was awful i was so nervous i think it was because i had his friends in the car but i got them all home safely...phew.well my darling sorry this is only alittle message but its full of lots of love i did write you both a huge one but i wiped it off....im a wally ha ha i hope you have a lovely week take care big cuddles from mary xx

me
20-06-04, 11:09
hello notts welcome to the site its full of wonderful info and great people sorry it only a short message but im running late take care love from mary x