Help :(

[Worried1990]

Hi. Im sorry for posting this again but i was unable to check back to any replies. My obsessive thought at the moment is that when i was younger maybe 13/14 i said something stupid on the internet saying that my mom/dad abused me. I cant get this thought out of my head and its driving me crazy because i keep thinking that if my parensts found out i had said something like that, that they would hate me. My mom is very supportive of me and udnerstand show bad my OCD can be. Ive told her about this thought/obsession and both my parents have said that it wouldn't matter because nothign came of it and it was just a stupid thing to say and that we all do.say stupid things when we're younger. I know i should have known better if i did say it but i wouldn't have been thinking and would've just been stupid. Ive never done anything bad in my life and i try to be the nicest person to everyone i can but i keep worrying and having feelings that resemble guilt over something im not even sure i even said. Anyone have any ideas or suggestions to help me calm down please? would be really appreciated x

[nomorepanic]

Hi

Did you have a previous login on here then?

[Captain Caveman]

Hi. I am not sure of your background or anything, but if it is a case like the hundreds of other people I've read about who have experienced obsessive compulsive behaviour where you doubt whether you did something or not, and try to reassure yourself that you didn't do what you fear, only for a "but what if....? thought to follow, and each time you try to reassure yourself you just makes things worse, then the following article should help:
http://www.ocdonline.com/articlephillipson2.php

[HelenLouise]

Hi!! :)

I know its hard and your OCD won't let you think anything else but you know that something would have come of this by now if you'd said anything and nothing has.

You would never have said anything like that about your parents and even if you had (which you haven't) no one would have taken any of it seriously because it would have been a random thing a 13 year old said.

Idk if this will be of any help - but in Uni we were learning about how OCD can stem from deep within the mind and the thoughts processes are learned thoughts that are reinforced buy the compulsions.
Every time you think this thought about your parents just calmly say to yourself, " I did not say anything bad about my parents, something would have come of it by now!"
or " If I had said anything bad about my mum and dad I would remember what it was and who i said it to."

Apparently this is supposed to help un-learn the thoughts so to speak!

Try not to get worked up over it - even though it know thats impossible sometimes!
You know you always have heaps of support.

:) xxxx

[Captain Caveman]

Every time you think this thought about your parents just calmly say to yourself, " I did not say anything bad about my parents, something would have come of it by now!"
or " If I had said anything bad about my mum and dad I would remember what it was and who i said it to."


Hi. I don't like disagreeing with posts from people who are no doubt just trying to help.

But I would suggest responding in the complete opposite way to the one suggested above. I can speak from personal experience, and have spent years reading other people say the same thing, in that if you try to reassure yourself with a comment such as " I did not say anything bad about my parents, something would have come of it by now!" you will respond with a comment like "but what if I have suppressed it deep down and I just can't remember it yet?" Or "but what if I was drunk and can't recall saying such and such?" The cycle of doubt, reassurance, doubt, reassurance, just goes on and on getting worse and worse with each reassuring comment. Learning to live with ambiguity and uncertainty is the antidote.

[HelenLouise]

That's a fair point!
And yes I was just trying to help! I'm not saying what I said is thr answer - I know not everything works for everyone but it may work for some seen asthough I was also told this in my CBT!
I guess it depends on the individual!
I was only trying to offer some kind of support xxx

[Worried1990]

Thankyou all xxxxxx

[MeganBooker]

Its easy to say - you were a kid and kids do silly things but I know that wont help you feel better. Maybe try to think of a few ways you could "make up" for what you said - in other words make things right....

[harasgenster]

I don't know anything about OCD but I can see that when I was very ill at around the age of 13 I said something HORRIBLE on the internet to someone. Not a lie, I just randomly said something terrible and hurtful to someone I didn't know. I can't believe I would have said something like that, it's such a terrible thing to say and I don't know why the thought would have ever crossed my mind, but I was 13 and severely depressed and not myself.

Now, I know I did this and it's doubtful that you actually said anything. But would it help to say, what if I did say it? What's so bad about that? Fair enough it's not a pleasant thing to say, but you're a nice person and weren't being malicious (if you even said it at all). So perhaps those what ifs are actually something you should follow in order to take the sting out of the fear?

Seriously, what's the absolute worst thing that could happen? Is that absolute worst thing actually possible realistically? Is that absolute worst thing the end of the world? What would actually happen? Since nothing has happened yet, and I assume you're now 20/21, is it really realistically possible that anything COULD happen?

Maybe realising that it doesn't matter whether you said it or not (because it really doesn't) will take away the fear. Whether you said it or whether you didn't will not change anything. Everything will remain the same.

[deepreason]

It would be a very very unusual teenager who didn't do something awful to our parents between the ages of 11 and 21. These are the times when the parent - child bond needs to be broken so that the child can become a parent themselves and start the process all over again.

We are genetically programmed, from birth, to start establishing an identity seperate from our parents once we hit puberty. Most of us do this by being the typical obnoxious run of the mill teenager.

Please don't beat yourself up about it. If it's anything of a consolation to you then when you have 13 or 15 year olds of you own they will probably do something wonderful for you: write your car off, burn the house down, get arrested for hacking into fort knox etc. It's just the cycle of growing up.

And treat this one with care but if you're feeling a bit stronger about the obsession and want to try and see it in a comical light then you could always watch the Sought Park episode where they all report their parents for molestering them in order to create an adult free town. *Make sure you're in the right frame of mind to see the funny side of this, please don't watch it and upsety yourself*.

I can't seem to find a decent link to it on youtube since it got bought up and wrecked so here's the episode on qikipedia and I expect by some nefarious p2p means you'll find it if you want it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wacky_Molestation_Adventure