Intrusive thoughts driving me mad

[dc100]

I had anxiety for as long as i cant remember, now for over six months its got really bad and the last few weeks me and my partner have had a baby and moved home - now i feel im becoming paranoid and have the strangest thoughts and its really getting on top of me and im scared to mention them to my councilor or doctor

There so random and intrusive once they pop in my mind i feel really unsettled and i obsess about them - i have suffered with contamination fears since i was a teenager about touching handles and food being poisoned and its got really bad since we moved house. then someone said that the person who lived in the place before us was a bit weird which has made me feel even more unsettled as i feel weird at the moment so i start wonder whats could be wrong with the place, why did he go weird will i start to go weird.

I'm also starting to worry about psychosis and other mental issues i start to think about what if someone tries to brainwash me or control my thoughts or i start to think birds are talking to me just crazy irrational things after reading about psychosis i also start to think about electrical devices i brought a new DVD player the other day and i had a horrible thought about it someone adding something that would hypnotising while watching a film without me knowing - i know this is completly irrational the thought just popped in for sec but i have avoided using it - im really worried i have something seriously wrong with me and im too embarrassed and ashamed to talk others about it and i cant believe i had gotten myself into this state

sorry for the crazy post

[jenbo50]

Hi there...how are you today?

I saw your post yesterday but was struggling to think of how to word a response. I can empathise with the worrying about strange things happening...e.g brids talking to you. I wanted to write so you know you are not the only one!

After the birth of my son in 2009, I started with Anxiety Disorder. Never had any issues before then but it hit me hard.

I was diagnosed only after suffering a massive panic attack waiting for the baby jabs in the GP surgery. I hadn't been to the docs before then but as soon as this happened I started to get some help with therapy and additional HV home visits each week.

I went through a horrid period of worrying that I had PNP. I used to think "what if i see the devil in my baby" (and one day I was convinced his eyes had turned red like demons!)....what if i drop him and his head shatters all over the floor.....what if aliens invade, what if the "big bomb" goes off and there are no shelters for us.......what if he climbs in the oven and i cook him.....what if i leave him in the shop....and worse of all what if i get so tired and fed up of the crying and demands that i harm him and end up in jail for life...:-(

I think that when you have a baby your mind starts running an even more intense "worry programme" than ever and the mind just looks for new "threats" on every occassion, be it talking birds or whatever! It's not nice.

I also moved house with a new born so can sympathise totally with the strains. In fact I moved 3 times. Once 7 months pregnant, once with a 3 month old and once with an 11 month old! We were having a house renovated and extended at the time (extra stress eh!)....

Anyway, I started CBT and this really helped get me out of the main pit of worry. I learned some strategies to stop me rumenating about all these random things and get back out to the land of the living to a certain extent. However, I maintained my underlying anxiety disorder and still have panic attacks - just know how to survive them really. So I started some meds for the 1st time 3 weeks ago. They are starting to help i think so am feeling quite positive.

What I would say is DO NOT BE ASHAMED. You are totally normal. I have worked out that aprox 30% of new mums have either been on AD's or are on them. That aprox 20% have or have suffered with panic attacks and that PNP is actually more common than you think. At any point in a room with mums and kids in it, more people are suffering than you think! You just don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

Make a docs appointment today. Write down your problems. Take your partner and just hand the note over. Make sure you leave with a referral for therapy or medication whichever suits you. It's time to start getting better now.

Let me know how you get on xxxxx

[dc100]

thanks for your reply i spoke to my counselor last night and just told her about all my weird fears which felt really strange and she said that my imagination is just doing overtime at the moment with all the stress and anxiety at the moment. I still feel in a bit of a daydream at the moment and find it hard to concentrate and stop my mind wondering but i hope i will feel myself again soon

[fordbird]

I had anxiety for as long as i cant remember, now for over six months its got really bad and the last few weeks me and my partner have had a baby and moved home - now i feel im becoming paranoid and have the strangest thoughts and its really getting on top of me and im scared to mention them to my councilor or doctor

There so random and intrusive once they pop in my mind i feel really unsettled and i obsess about them - i have suffered with contamination fears since i was a teenager about touching handles and food being poisoned and its got really bad since we moved house. then someone said that the person who lived in the place before us was a bit weird which has made me feel even more unsettled as i feel weird at the moment so i start wonder whats could be wrong with the place, why did he go weird will i start to go weird.

I'm also starting to worry about psychosis and other mental issues i start to think about what if someone tries to brainwash me or control my thoughts or i start to think birds are talking to me just crazy irrational things after reading about psychosis i also start to think about electrical devices i brought a new DVD player the other day and i had a horrible thought about it someone adding something that would hypnotising while watching a film without me knowing - i know this is completly irrational the thought just popped in for sec but i have avoided using it - im really worried i have something seriously wrong with me and im too embarrassed and ashamed to talk others about it and i cant believe i had gotten myself into this state

sorry for the crazy post


i totally relate to this i have exactly the same thoughts about food and have done for 10 years now(ur the first one ive seen wiv exactly same as me):blush:

mine started when a stranger rented a room from the family home and i thought she was poisoning my drinks and food and its got so bad i cant go out cant accept food or drinks off others or cook a meal for myself(rarely i can with encouragement).
its escalated into thoughts of harming others, people stabbing me, hearin sumone or numbers.
i have seen many councillors over the past 10 yrs, been hypnotised, seen a phyciatrist, and currently seein a therapist who after 14 sessions stil not helped me.

i feel the reason we behave this way is a result of us not dealing with something and it comes out in ways like this.
ie-for me i started getting this way exactly a year after my uncle died(who i was close to) then ive had up n down years since then and last year ive just gone downhill again(again around a year after my dad died).

i hav not dealt with either and cant come to terms with my dad dying, perhaps not the same for you but hope this helps.
was very unsure about writing this as never told anyone except family who think im stupid:shrug: