Anxiety attacks after discontinuing Citalopram

[NoPoet]

Hi all, 6 weeks ago I discontinued citalopram from 30mg. While there have been some bright spots, I have had a couple of nasty blips and I had a horrendous anxiety attack last Friday night.

I still feel down and anxious now, and talking about it isn't helping as much. It feels like I've gone back to how I was when I was first ill.

Has anyone else seemed to slide so far back, and does it go away? I feel very anxious and agitated and it gets me down, which just makes my anxiety worse.

I would really appreciate insights from anyone else who's gone cold turkey, especially those who can give me some hope!

[nomorepanic]

Now then you - why on earth did you go cold turkey?

[NoPoet]

Hi Nic,

I felt like it was time to come off the medication. I was feeling like I could cope with life on my own without relying on the medication as a crutch. I can't get across how right it felt to stop the medicine (at the time).

I don't feel that I can go to my doctor as he is, quite frankly, an idiot.

[nomorepanic]

You are very very naughty and you wrote the citalopram guide - would you tell people to just stop taking it one day !:buttkick:

[NoPoet]

Yeah I know, I think I thought "Sod it" and stopped taking the meds so if things went wrong, I could write it down.

This blip is more depression than anxiety - this always was the worst kind of blip. It really is like I've travelled 2 years back in time. I can't believe that just 2 weeks ago I felt perfectly ok.

[nomorepanic]

Well yes it will go wrong !

You should not suddenly stop taking this medicine, as this can cause withdrawal symptoms such as dizziness, sleep disturbances (including intense dreams), nausea, headache, a feeling of weakness, pins and needles and anxiety.

If you didn't prepare to come off it and had all the procedures in place to cope then you will feel worse but I am sure you know that

[NoPoet]

I've found over the last few weeks that it's one thing having procedures in place, and another thing actually having to deal with the reality. I guess there is never a way to know if you are truly ready to come off medication and you should have an extensive support network of people to encourage and support you, rather than doing what I've done and relying purely on yourself.

I think this blip was triggered by real-life stress and has got a bit out of hand. Even talking about this blip hasn't helped much, but I'll be speaking to Anxiety UK tomorrow as their helpline tends to be better for me than Samaritans or talking to friends at the moment.

One interesting thing is how my feelings keep spinning around so one minute I feel purely anxious, the next purely depressed... when I'm just anxious I tend to feel BETTER, as I've got some kind of phobia about being depressed!

[nomorepanic]

Yeah but to come off medication it has to be done slowly and under doc's supervision and not like this.

You are going to feel crap for a while I am afraid but you have to see it through now if you want to stay off the medication

[NoPoet]

So that leads me to the one question I haven't been able to answer from what I've read so far: if I can get through this blip, will I be ok? I know that's the kind of question a kid answers but for myself and presumably other people in the same situation, it's the question at the heart of everything.

[nomorepanic]

How long is a piece of string ?

It depends what you have done to prepare for coping without medication. Are you prepared to go it alone and not rely on drugs?

If you aren't then you could go back to square one. If you have done loads of work and know what to expect and how to cope you will be fine.

I decided to stop medication and go down the CBT route and mainly self-help and on the whole it worked for me but only you can decide that.

[NoPoet]

Thanks Nic, I guess I couldn't really do any more preparation than I already have, sometimes you've got to make a decision and do something.

Remember that when I first came off the meds I actually felt ok, quite stressed and angry after 2-3 weeks which has probably contributed to how I am now, but I did have a lot of good days and I got a lot of my energy back.

When I read discontinuation stories people tend to talk about physical symptoms like head zaps. Well i was dizzy for about 10 days but apart from that my symptoms have all been emotional. Hopefully these ARE just discontinuation effects and it isn't a warning that I can't cope without the meds.

EDIT: I cannot overstate how much I would prefer physical symptoms (headaches, dizziness) to emotional ones (depression, anxiety).

[nomorepanic]

Well you are at work, you are doing ok there (I think) so you are prepared as much as you can be.

You will be emotional too with it. You have starved the brain of a powerful drug so it is going to rebel in some ways.

I stopped Prozac one day and never even told the doc but apparently that is one drug that can be stopped and people not suffer too badly.

I felt rubbish for 2 weeks and then felt no better or no worse.

Why did you decide to stop it by the way?

[NoPoet]

Thing is though, it has now been the legenday 7 week mark (most people suffer discontinuation for up to 7 weeks) so why would things get nasty now when they were ok to start with?

Definitely sounds like real-life events have triggered this recent blip, but my main concern is, am I going to keep feeling like this every time I come under pressure - in which case the last couple of months have been wasted and I'm on the next bus back to Citalopram City.

I stopped because the meds were making me too tired for work and it was impacting on my life. I noticed an immediate improvement in my energy levels but it became obvious after a while that I was more prone to stress and was developing an aggressive temper. I don't know how I come across online but in real life I am only aggressive when either pushed, or under a lot of stress.

The temper has died down a lot and it seemed like I was overcoming things one at a time. Maybe this downer simply came as a bad surprise and scared me, I don't know. I do feel a bit calmer now.

When I came off the meds it was absolutely, written-in-the-stars, the right thing to do; I have only started regretting it this week.

[NoPoet]

Well I think I needed this discussion: I had a troubled night's sleep full of stressful and bizarre dreams, but I woke up today feeling calmer than I have in a while. I was looking for that "trigger event" to lift me out of the blip. I think after venting on here and speaking to the Samaritans last night I have got my thoughts in order.

Obviously I still need some help, so I'm going to do what I've been putting off and arrange some counselling through Anxiety UK. I've had the paperwork for weeks but didn't submit it because I genuinely felt strong enough to go it alone. I pray that this was just another blip and not a relapse (which is anyone's worst fear at this point I guess).

Looks like the Survival Guide is in for some editing.

[KK77]

I see comrade Poet has been violating NMP Rule No 777 re discontinuation, that he himself has written copious amounts on.

Now the fact that your body has completely eliminated the drug without too many nasty physical side effects is welcome news. You have completed the first obstacle.

OK, cast your mind back: you had some pretty nasty "blips" (ie, mini relapses) whilst you were on citalopram. The difference was that you had a crutch then - now you have just yourself to fall back on. So essentially, you're in a much better position to eradicate/manage this setback through your own insight and hard work, rather than a chemical crutch to lean on (which can fortunately make one somewhat complacent and lazy).

If you catch the next bus back to Cit City you will be regressing, not progressing IMO. Therefore, my advice would be to cast aside the cit and concentrate on dealing with this standing on your own two feet. Put the what ifs out of your mind - it's counter-productive Adam.

I have pretty severe recurrent depression along with a pain syndrome, so ATM meds help my condition. But if I reach a point when I feel meds are causing more side effects than anything else I would ditch them, albeit without breaking any NMP rules hehe.

Look into all your other therapies and you will yet again overcome this most unwelcome "blip".

Good luck comrade.

[NoPoet]

Cheers mate, that was much appreciated. This is the same as those blips I used to go through and that many others still experience; the only difference is I am not the same person any more. It's been such a long time since I felt like this and it's rekindled some very unpleasant memories.

I spoke to Anxiety UK today and found them much more helpful than Samaritans, since those at A-UK have been through exactly the same experiences as most NMP members.

Between us, we agreed what I've already been thinking: that this blip is not particularly related to dropping the cit, it's more likely to be as Melancholia says, the blip has hit me hard because I have no "crutch" any more.

It doesn't help that I am facing the same circumstances that used to trigger me: lots of free time (until I'm back at work next week) with nothing much to do.

ANXIETY UK AND REDUCED PRICE THERAPY

To everyone who didn't already know, Anxiety UK offer cut-price therapy of all kinds. Some therapy can be phone-based so you don't actually need to leave the house and it has the other benefit of being even cheaper!

Obviously some types of therapy such as hypnosis cannot be carried out over the phone and require you to travel.

[Asha1979]

Hi psychopoet I know what you mean with the anxiety. I am just living minute by minute hour by hour. Upped my meds yesterday so I'm a bit zombified at the moment. It is hard when your routine changes I find that too. You are lucky in the UK to have a good mental health services, here in Ireland they are a disgrace. My GP has no clue about mental health really, she just quotes what she has picked up through the years, not her fault but more should be put into mental health over here. That's not likely now though with the recession. I'm actually feeling strange today with the upping of the med, like my head is on fire. lol

[oldtime]

I think you are going to have to play a waiting game, try to apply CBT and see if you can get through these blips. If you revert to the low depths of anxiety again you should go back on Cit I don't thinks its regression, in my opinion the longer you suffer the more it gets hard wired into your brain. Then come off Cit by slow dose reduction eg. 20mg for 3 months, 10mg for 3 months and see how you react.

[honeyp1e]

I totally no how you are feeling back n august i just put my citalopram in the bin one day as i felt GREAT but OMG the with-drawels are horrid and even now i am so low crying none stop my anxiety is just not getting better i have got back on them at just 10mg but i still feel awful i have all kinds of negative thinking, trembles, anxiety, panicking none stop i feel i have hit a brick wall and just cant get through it i don't no where to turn and my life just feels over i stopped eating due to loss of appetite I've lost over 2stone my life has no meaning right now and i cant stop the tears :(
i need help ASAP and don't no where to go

[Asha1979]

I totally no how you are feeling back n august i just put my citalopram in the bin one day as i felt GREAT but OMG the with-drawels are horrid and even now i am so low crying none stop my anxiety is just not getting better i have got back on them at just 10mg but i still feel awful i have all kinds of negative thinking, trembles, anxiety, panicking none stop i feel i have hit a brick wall and just cant get through it i don't no where to turn and my life just feels over i stopped eating due to loss of appetite I've lost over 2stone my life has no meaning right now and i cant stop the tears :(
i need help ASAP and don't no where to go


Honeypie, what is a very low dose at 10mg. Would you not try go up to 20mg? Sounds like you came off them cold turkey which must have been horrendous. I would advise you to go to the doctor, go up to 20mg and in a few weeks you will feel much better and then you stay on it a while and you will be in a better position to withdraw later. You must withdraw slowly. When I came off them 2 years ago (Im on them again due to pnd) I went from 30mg -20mg for 1 month, 10mg for 1 month and then nothing and got no side effects whatsoever. If you look up my profile you will see my updates on that a few years ago. It is a huge shock to the system to just withdraw suddently without tapering down and careful monitoring. Your life is not over honeypie I promise, it just feels like that now at the moment. You will get through this, just do yourself a favour and up it to 20mg xxxxxxx

[honeyp1e]

Honeypie, what is a very low dose at 10mg. Would you not try go up to 20mg? Sounds like you came off them cold turkey which must have been horrendous. I would advise you to go to the doctor, go up to 20mg and in a few weeks you will feel much better and then you stay on it a while and you will be in a better position to withdraw later. You must withdraw slowly. When I came off them 2 years ago (Im on them again due to pnd) I went from 30mg -20mg for 1 month, 10mg for 1 month and then nothing and got no side effects whatsoever. If you look up my profile you will see my updates on that a few years ago. It is a huge shock to the system to just withdraw suddently without tapering down and careful monitoring. Your life is not over honeypie I promise, it just feels like that now at the moment. You will get through this, just do yourself a favour and up it to 20mg xxxxxxx

am just worrying about more side effects etc.. even though i have been on and off them for years and only ever got more anxious etc... so i dont no why am worried just cant get negative thinking out my mind :(