View Full Version : New Member.....New to Anxiety
Hi,
I have found a lot of help on this site already and decided to join. I have been diagnosed with Severe Anxiety and put on Citalopram 10mg first then upped to 20mg. I had a virus in December which had unusual symptoms like tingling feeling over my head and face. Dr ran blood tests and ECG - all ok. Still felt bad - dizzy, tingling, headache, pain under breast bone, sore throat, earache, temp of 40 and complete believe I was dying.
Another visit to doc and more blood tests, hormone tests etc - all clear.
At next visit, when I explained I believed I was dying, in floods of tears I was prescribed Citalopram 10mg and Omeprazole (apparently pain under breast bone was acid from worry). Started to feel more assured and a little better, but then the worry took over again and doc upped me to 20mg Citalopram. Again seemed to improve but then earache got really bad and constant headahce and the tingling on my face and head is back worse than ever, also this week felt tight chested and wheezy. In my mind I have had Throat cancer, Osopheagal cancer, lung cancer, brain tumour etc etc. I am going back to doc today because the fear is taking over again. I have a wonderful family, a beautiful daughter a fantastic husband and great friends - and I feel like I am letting them down that I cannot pull myself out of it. My 2 main fears - I will die and not see my daughter grow up, and that all the time they are treating me for anxiety they are not testing me/treating me for something that is seriously wrong with me.
I didn't intend to write all this but it is nice to be able to speak honestly without upsetting everyone who loves you.
The other thing I cannot understand is that I have been through difficult periods in my life before this and never had these physical symptoms so why now? I have no idea how I got here :sad:
Thanks for listening x
nomorepanic
04-03-11, 08:48
Hi Cat13
A huge warm welcome to nmp.
You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.
Best wishes
cassie1975
04-03-11, 21:39
Cat13, I understand everything you have wrote i went through the same in september 2010. I was also prescribed citalopram but they took about six weeks to kick in. How long have you been on yours?? It will get better !! it does take time. I found exercise and relaxation techniques improved my symptoms. This website is fab and should give you all the info you need.
Hi Cassie,
Thanks for your reply it really helps me to hear that other people understand :) (even thought I would not wish this on anyone!!!).
I have been on the Citalapram 7 weeks. 10mg for 3 weeks, then upped to 20mg. I went back to doc yesterday and she has upped it to 30mg but is also sending me for another set of blood tests - she says for reassurance! but obviously I am now frightened because the tests could show something - my worst fear! I understand the doc can't win - I am scared she is missing something, but when she says we will have tests for reassurance I think she now thinks there is something wrong with me :weep:
Its the physical symptoms that get me down, especially the pins and needles/tingling on my head and the dizziness as they make me feel it is something really serious. I have been trying to excercise - and have been running for a few weeks, but on Wed after 20 mins cross training I tried to run adn was so tight chested and short of breath I couldn't and then I started to panic why I was short of breath!! It feels like a hopeless situation that I will never get out of. I do not want to be ill, I do not want to feel the way I do but it's like it's out of control in my head.
Did you have physical symptoms Cassie? How long did they take to subside?
cassie1975
06-03-11, 21:29
Hi CAT13, i had alot of physical symptoms it started with back pain and chest pain, it then went on to constant sickness and diarrhea i had numbness in my arms stomach pains and acid, temperature changes, headaches ear problems. The list went on I never thought it would end, After taking citalopram for a while my symptoms subsided, my back pain stayed for about five months. I am improving and going for a review next week. Please use this site and its information its very good and just take one day at a time. Good luck:flowers:
hiya guys . i have all sorts of symptoms every day .. at first when i didnt even know i had anxiety i had flu like symptoms and i had no strenght in my feet or hands couldnt eat because i was worrying or sleep .. now i dont get those feelings, well if i do i dont notice them because now im getting pains every where my neck my arms my legs my head. i get a head ache that starts as neck pain and turns into a migrain. all thease symptoms and more on a daily basis. so i know exactly how scarey it is. i too have a child, a little boy whos my world :) when im thinkin bad things all i think is how much i love him and dont want to ever be away from him. my worst fear is dieing and i really just want to be ok . im waitin for blood test results that my doc did for my "peace of mind" but that also makes me feel as though shes doing then because shes worried even though she assured me its for my benifit, i think its really hard to beleive what people tell you when your anxious because youve convinced your mind otherwise havent you. im constantly checking my body for any signs i may be ill and i always find a rash or a sensative area that hurts or my aches and pains :( .. i hope youve got some comfort knowing that your not on your own with your symptoms and just remember doctors worked hard to get where they are if they thought for a second you could be at rist of something they would have you checked over asap. i tell you this and i know how hard it is to sink in and beleive because i tell myself constantly x
Hi Holly and Cassie,
Thank you so much - it does really help to hear your stories as I have been feeling very alone through this. My family are amazing but they are struggling to cope with how I feel and my inability to accept that everything I feel physically is to do with anxiety. I have this weekend developed a cough and wheeze and this morning when I cleared my throat there was some blood in my mucus (from throat, not coughed up) (sorry as this is a bit gross!) so obviosuly I am now thinking the worst even more. I have to go for my blood tests in a few hours - to reassure the doctor and me and I am terrified. I don't want them to find anything and I am scared:weep:. I keep telling myself - if the blood tests are clear I HAVE to try to get a handle on this as this is impacting on every area of my life. I love my little girl more than anything and I constantly imaging dying and leaving her without a mother which makes me panic more:scared15:
I just wish I had no PHYSICAL symptoms, then I could finally beleve what everyone is telling me.
So I sense I have a couple of bad days ahead waiting for the results.
Thank you again x x x x
Hi there,
just looking over the site and noticed the active posts regarding anxiety.
Like you, I have had issues with anxiety for many years, but never sought help. like you, I had the physical manifestations as well as the mental ones. One thing I have learned though, over the years, that pretty much all the unexplainable physical and mental issues I get, were due to anxiety. Its hard to believe, that something hidden inside can make your chest pound, or your head spin, or weekness to occur.
I started CBT last year in a group, but that didnt work, and I have been on propranolol for a while now, which I take as and when. I hav eleanred to recognise the anxiety symptoms, and understand them, so now, when I feel ill a certian way, I just think to myself, "its ok, its just anxiety, calm down and it will go away" and generally that helps. I havebeen doing that a long time now, and now I worry a bit less about my health, and just focus on sorting out the issues. Im taking private counselling, and just started Citalopram this weekend (10 Mg, bad start!)
Just want to say, hang in there, try not to worry, and dont forget, over analysing your symptoms and worrying IS a symptom of anxiety! So try not to , and trust your doctor!
best of luck
Clive
cat. your in the same situation as me and i know its the hardest thing ever in the world to get your head round. if i didnt have the achs and pains i wouldnt have anything to base my worry on so then i feel it would be easier to overcome so i know exactly where your comeing from. im still waitin for my results i had my blood took friday and im not going to lie to you i am really scared but look at it this way put your fear to the back of your mind for a second and you wil feel releife that youve had the bloods took and now you'll know the outcome in a few days. its not easy for me to tell you to relax because i find it hard to get my self to relax but its true that while ever your tense and worried its going to take its toll on your body physically. i have a little boy and i have all the same fears as you. its the worst thing ever to think about :( . i banged my finger yesterday and it hurt and even that scared me :/ were all here for the same reason so we can relate to each other . chin up chick. if you ever wanna tak just private message me.x :)
Hi Clive,
Nice to hear from you :)
Thank you for your supportive words x I am going to try to be more positive and trust in the doctors and am keeping everything crossed for these blood test results this week. As you will well understand it is so difficult to move on with life when this is happening to you - and I feel so useless as I have everything to be thankful for and I know everyone just wants me to be back how I was - no-one more than me!!! I hope one day I will find the way back as I feel confused every day how on earth I got here? I have had periods of trauma/upset in my life prior to know and never had any physical symptoms - so why now?
Do you think the CBT did not work due to group environment? I have also been referred to CBT by my doctor, but am somewhat sceptical.
I know that I am anxious, but I am also terrified.
Thanks for getting in touch - good luck with the Citalopram (I did find it took a good few weeks for me to get used to it) and the counselling.
:hugs:
Thank you Holly - it means so much to me to find support at last and people who are not looking at me funny because of my fears :hugs:
It is so real isn;t it? I have always been a strong, happy and positive person and I can't believe I have got here!
When will you get your results? I agreed that it will be nice to have reassurance x Please let me know how you get on x
Hi cat,
I went to group CBT, and from the very beginning, I told the doctor (the doctor for the CBT) that I would have major issues with the groups. I found out that the NHS will push people to go to group, because they get through more in one session. I have to be honest,I struggled, and i hated it. I felt very much on my own, not in terms of what I was there for, just on my own. No friends, everyone else seemed outgoing and acted like they were friends or workmates, this confused me. Im not an unfriendly person, in most other situations I would have coped, but when you are put in a circle of strangers, and become centre of attention at certian points, its very bad! for me it is anyway. I knew though, that this woudl be an issue for me. I knew that I would struggle to "join in", I knew what would happen, and it did-I clammed up and sure enough other group members seemed to clamp onto this, and try to put me on the spot, butnot in a nice way "come on clive say somert"!
The last group refresher course I went to a few weeks ago ended with me leaving half way through, and the next day I broke down and its then I called a private counsellor for one to one. NHS just simply wouldnt put me on the list, but the waiting list was still over a year!
Im very glad indeed I took private counselling. done 4 sessions out of the initial 6. The costs is very reasonable although I resent the NHS a bit for not really looking at me closer (not seeing my cries for help), money can be a worry.
I suspect your physical symptoms have "appeared" after so many years because in your mind, its become too much. Anxiety has developed. And through this it has manifested itself more acutley than before. At least I feel thats what happened to me. my "peak" of physical issues was years ago now. the worst I get these days is the usual shakes, tension and fast heart beat. I recognise when its coming, and I react. ive got propranolol which helps enormously, and its since taking those, ive taken control. Ive done the hard work, now im just practicing.
It is hard work, its exhausting, and dont forget that-youre probably exhausted mentally as well as physically. These mental issues do take time, and I feel for your family. Itshard to understand what you cant see, but they must be wonderful people for sticking by you, that must giuve you a boost!
My otherhalf put up with me for years, my moods, my low times, my walking out of crowded places all of a sudden, my odd behaviour. I spent years like that, thinking it was normal. She pushed and pushed to get help, eventually i realised what was going on and sought help, that was oh so many years ago! Ive done all that you are doing now, blood tests, worry, have I got this, have I got that, and you know what? Im fine!
sure, i need to get healthy, anxiety takes its toll on your body and mind, but im fine! Im sure you are fine too. remmeber, doctors have "duty of care" so yes, the blood tests are theleast they can do. They are just keeping aneye on you, building a record, and I bet your results will be fine! I know imnot a doctor, but i had somany blood tests, and worried so much like you, an deach time they were fine, so i gave up worrying. I get my blood pressure checked every time i visit the docs almost, and its always fine. the mind is a powerful thing, think positive, be positive, and you will find that over time, this comes naturally.
clive that sounds like an absolute nightmare! Like you, I am not an unfriendly person, but I would too have found it difficult to open up in such curcumstances. You have to feel safe in order to be able to lay yourself bare and it certainly does not sound like you were in a very supportive situation! I am pleased that the counselling seems to be working for you x
The fact that they have 'appeared' following a few pretty rough months is telling but I really cannot understand why I have never before had a physical reaction to anxiety!
I am so tired, so fed up. Tried to go to gym last week and ended up short of breath and wheezing and had to come home and have diazaphram to calm myself as convinced I have some awful illness. I hope that I will one day feel better again x
Thanks Clive for your helpful and supportive words x
im sure you will be fine. dont let a bit of wheezing worry you. just take gentle excerise, thats what I do these days. a nice walk to build up strength. dont focus on how you feel, and if that feeling is an illness. if you get out of breath after some excerise, well, who doesnt? you know? you will get back to good health in time.
your welcome cat, it is hard to beleive that the pains and stuff are just anxiety yeh. i should her from the docs tomorrow or wednesday and when i think about it i feel sick :( where as before i wouldnt have worried about simple things such as blood tests and stuff. iv been liveing in a new house for just over a year and never visited my docs untill this past month so that just goes to show that i dont useually worry about bein a little bit poorly or under the weather. i just get on with things useually. iv lost my gran and my great grandad both in the space of 5 weeks so my doc thinks its that thats sent me so worried and anxious. things that you dont think effect you in a severe way actually play on your mind without you knowin. even though i was upset i feel as though i delt with it. let me know how you get on too all the best. and chin up chick. were all in the same boat even if our symptoms are not always the same we can relate. my family have been great but they cant possibley understand what im going through unless they too have been there. if i wasnt a sufferer i wouldnt have any idea as to what to say or do to help. xx
So glad I joined this site!! I too lost my gran 3 months ago and a few other things happened - that I believed I cope with well, but maybe not so well after all!!!
It is so nice to talk and know people understand - thank you x x x
yeh we think weve coped but maybe we havent. iv been readin about anxiety and it explains that weve got a conscious mind that we think with all the time then a sub conscious mind thats where all our memories are stored good and bad. so were thinkin about things with our subconscious mind all the time without even knowing it. its hard to understand but our minds are very powerfull and an anxious mind workin with the body causes the body to act differently hence our "symptoms". its all very clever stuff. i find my self argueing with myself in my head ,i have a voice of reason and logic and another thats very anxious. the way i see it even we have made ourselfs anxious and gaind habits that make us that way so we can make our minds thin how they used to again ,how they should :) . none of this is easy but at least you know your not on your own even though at times it seems you are. x
Hi,
Have any of you tried Though Field Therapy for your anxiety? I have tried this in the past and can recommend it although I don't think it's available on the NHS (typical). As my anxiety has reared it's ugly head again I'm going to a Hypnotherapist on Thursday. Fingers crossed that will help me too!
I know exactly what you mean about Physical symptoms. I've been having mine for a while now ... was even tested for Addisons disease a couple of weeks ago.... and had other blood tests, scans etc which all came back negative. Anxiety really can manifest itself in so many 'physical' ways it is truly amazing what our own brains can do to us!
With mine i feel terrible on a mornning and thats usually after a night of unbroken sleep! My arms and legs are wobbly and feel very week. I have an extremely dry mouth even though i drink water through the night. I feel very 'nervy' and have a tight chest.
Also unless you have been through anxiety NOBODY knows what its like and just how debiltating it can be. This forum must be a godsend for people like us!
Take care all
Julie xx
seekingpeace
08-03-11, 01:25
Hi,
Well you are definately not alone! Everyone here suffers with one symptom or another. It is weird that panic affects people differently. I am trying to accept the sensations and feelings as just that. They will and do pass. Focus on getting better and not on the fear that comes with the feelings. I am doing several things to manage and althought not completely gone, they have gotten better. I am meditating, seeing a chiropractor, saying positive affirmations, and doing breathing exercises while I am driving or have moments alone. I wish you peace.
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