Not made for relationships?

[Eva May]

I really love my boyfriend, we've been seeing each other for a year now but lately I feel very left behind and left out of his life. He's in college and he has a major role in a climbing group there. This role is getting bigger and he's been going on weekends away with this group. He also has lots of college work. Basically we're almost scheduling time together at this stage because obviously I can't go away with him. So I'm wondering if the fairest thing would be to let him go so he can concentrate on his full life. Do you think its just me or is it 100% harder to carry on a relationship with panic and anxiety?

[sambeckett]

Hello,

I understand your feelings entirely. But if things are not difficult between you and him and you don't want to split up then I don't think you should do. Perhaps you could tell him that you're finding it hard when you can't spend much time together and see what he says?

I think anxiety makes relationships really hard. I find it difficult to tell the difference between things that are really happening and what's in my mind and become very stressed that either I have done something wrong when I haven't or that I'm putting up with something no-one else would put up with because I'm telling myself it's all in my mind! I'm also having a long distance relationship so I know how difficult it is when you can't see the other person. It can fuel your anxiety and for me I often think "they won't understand" or "I can't talk to them about it because the time we spend together should all be upbeat."

It can help if you have a friend you trust who can help you figure it all out. But also, you should work out what you want and see if your relationship meets this. Although it's natural to want to put your boyfriend first, make sure it is not to the detriment of your health. Just telling him this and getting it off your chest (although don't say you want to break up unless you do!) may make things 100x better.

Good luck!

[Eva May]

Thanks Sam :) we talked last night and even though its been very hard lately we don't want to split up. He admitted he finds my condition very very difficult at times. We're going to take a little break so he can get his college stuff out of the way and see from there. Absolutely hate that this could cost me my relationship on top of everything else :mad: