Prenatal Paranoia.

[EmMaxwell]

Hi everyone.

My other half and I have been trying to conceive for just over eight months now. Those who've tried and failed in the past know the monthly devastation that comes with it. We haven't spoken about it in a few months now, since last time we argued - he said I was putting too much pressure on myself/us and it was never going to happen if I didn't stop obsessing.
I've tried. I really have. And I think I've done okay. Yes, it has always been at the back of my mind. Yes, every strange ache and moment of nausea makes my hopes peak and my imagination run riot. But I haven't obsessed. I haven't punished myself when we haven't been successful. I haven't even felt sad - more a feeling of "well, that's to be expected".

Thing is, it's really hard for me to predict. (This is a bit tmi!!) I'm really irregular - an average of 8 weeks between each 'visitor'. Sometimes only six weeks, sometimes about 10 weeks and once or twice in my life it has been right on time. My first 'visit' was when I had just turned 11 and from that very first time, I've been this way. I am overweight now, but even through my early teens when I was of average size, I was just as irregular. Two of my aunties had PCOS - I don't know if I'm being paranoid but, given the odds, it's very likely that I've got it too. But I'm terrified of doctors. Terrified. I don't know what to do. When I first met my boyfriend I actually said to him "Just so you know, I don't think I can have kids. I have nothing to base it on, I've just always had this feeling" and I had accepted it. But then we fell in love and we planned our futures and it's become something that seems like the most natural thing in the world. I'm scared someone will tell me I can never have it - or that something worse is wrong with me. I need to psych myself up. Does anyone have any similar problems?
Has anyone had similar problems in the past and then managed to conceive? I don't want to give up hope. I WILL go to the doctor in time. They reckon you should try to conceive for 12 months before going to the doctor to check everything's "in working order", though.

[rubynoodles]

Hi

I have two littles ones ( 5 & 3).

It took me three years to fall pregnant with my first and I know only too well the anxiety that it causes so can totally sympathise with you.

I dont know how old you are but as I was over 30 I didnt wait the year to go to the doctors about it, we were referred to the fertility clinic at our local hospital where they performed several tests but found nothing abnormal, so after a year or two I kind of resigned myself to the fact that I would probably never have children and that really saddened me but I think in alot of ways that kind of took the anxiety and pressure away and way and behold I fell pregnant with my first and two years later fell pregnant again after just a few months.

I'm sure it took so long because i'm a naturally anxious person and then adding extra anxiety over not falling pregnant month after month made it worse(i'm sure it mucked up my hormone levels!)

I hope that you can get pregnant really soon and I know its easier said than done but do try to relax, I know only to well that it can become quite relentless month after month.

Also just remembered-reflexology really helped too!:)

[EmMaxwell]

I'm actually 20 - I know a lot of people might think that's "too young" but I think it really depends on the person. My Mum was 17 when she fell pregnant with me and I think she did a good job. I'm in a steady relationship, too, which many don't have on their side. I know I will be a good Mum. My child will be raised in a stable, loving home, That is more important than how old the parents are.
My other half is 35 and has a daughter who is almost five so we know that there's not a problem with his fertility - though he's worried that maybe as he's getting older, his fertility has decreased, and that it might not even be my fault.
Am about to look reflexology up now! Thank you!

[Ella_Jayne]

My sister in law was in the same position. She and my bro desperately wanted a child and it took them about 3-4 years to actually conceive. They were both medically fine but it's just the way it goes sometimes. Every month she would cry and cry when she got her period and like you she was quite irregular and thought she was pregnant many times when she wasn't. Now they have a beautiful little boy and I'll always remember when she found out she was pregnant, it was mothers day of all days. She said it was better than winning the lotto! Hang in there hun, you and your partner will conceive. Just let nature take it's course. It'll happen.

x

[EmMaxwell]

Yeah - I've had more suspected pregnancies than I can count. Will never forget laying in bed at night stroking my tummy and praying that this time was the real thing. I know I need to stop putting the pressure on myself.
Had your brother & sister in law 'given up hope'? So many stories seem to be that the moment people resign themselves to the fact they won't have a baby, along one comes.

[Ella_Jayne]

Yeah they had more or less just given up hope and then it happened. I've seen the stress it can cause in relationships, but trust me it'll happen. Just give it time. :)

[EmMaxwell]

Thanks :D

[g9]

Hiya, I know how frustrating TTC is, I had secondary infertility after I had my first little boy, I went back on the pill and when we wanted to try for number 2, my periods didn't come back at all after coming off the pill. I waited nearly 2 years with no period at all, despite trying clomid and having all sorts of tests, and was about to have IVF when a friend suggested trying a chinese acupuncturist. I had a period the next month and was pregnant within 3 months of seeing her. I couldn't rave about it enough! They should be a traditional chinese acupuncturist, registered with the british acupuncture council, not a modern acupuncturist. And if you're needle phobic, they have a machine they use instead of needles. Acupuncture has helped a lot of friends and friends of friends to have babies, I don't know how it works exactly as I was a bit skeptical, but my second little boy is here because of it, definitely give it a go!