EmMaxwell
04-03-11, 17:52
Hi everyone.
My other half and I have been trying to conceive for just over eight months now. Those who've tried and failed in the past know the monthly devastation that comes with it. We haven't spoken about it in a few months now, since last time we argued - he said I was putting too much pressure on myself/us and it was never going to happen if I didn't stop obsessing.
I've tried. I really have. And I think I've done okay. Yes, it has always been at the back of my mind. Yes, every strange ache and moment of nausea makes my hopes peak and my imagination run riot. But I haven't obsessed. I haven't punished myself when we haven't been successful. I haven't even felt sad - more a feeling of "well, that's to be expected".
Thing is, it's really hard for me to predict. (This is a bit tmi!!) I'm really irregular - an average of 8 weeks between each 'visitor'. Sometimes only six weeks, sometimes about 10 weeks and once or twice in my life it has been right on time. My first 'visit' was when I had just turned 11 and from that very first time, I've been this way. I am overweight now, but even through my early teens when I was of average size, I was just as irregular. Two of my aunties had PCOS - I don't know if I'm being paranoid but, given the odds, it's very likely that I've got it too. But I'm terrified of doctors. Terrified. I don't know what to do. When I first met my boyfriend I actually said to him "Just so you know, I don't think I can have kids. I have nothing to base it on, I've just always had this feeling" and I had accepted it. But then we fell in love and we planned our futures and it's become something that seems like the most natural thing in the world. I'm scared someone will tell me I can never have it - or that something worse is wrong with me. I need to psych myself up. Does anyone have any similar problems?
Has anyone had similar problems in the past and then managed to conceive? I don't want to give up hope. I WILL go to the doctor in time. They reckon you should try to conceive for 12 months before going to the doctor to check everything's "in working order", though.
My other half and I have been trying to conceive for just over eight months now. Those who've tried and failed in the past know the monthly devastation that comes with it. We haven't spoken about it in a few months now, since last time we argued - he said I was putting too much pressure on myself/us and it was never going to happen if I didn't stop obsessing.
I've tried. I really have. And I think I've done okay. Yes, it has always been at the back of my mind. Yes, every strange ache and moment of nausea makes my hopes peak and my imagination run riot. But I haven't obsessed. I haven't punished myself when we haven't been successful. I haven't even felt sad - more a feeling of "well, that's to be expected".
Thing is, it's really hard for me to predict. (This is a bit tmi!!) I'm really irregular - an average of 8 weeks between each 'visitor'. Sometimes only six weeks, sometimes about 10 weeks and once or twice in my life it has been right on time. My first 'visit' was when I had just turned 11 and from that very first time, I've been this way. I am overweight now, but even through my early teens when I was of average size, I was just as irregular. Two of my aunties had PCOS - I don't know if I'm being paranoid but, given the odds, it's very likely that I've got it too. But I'm terrified of doctors. Terrified. I don't know what to do. When I first met my boyfriend I actually said to him "Just so you know, I don't think I can have kids. I have nothing to base it on, I've just always had this feeling" and I had accepted it. But then we fell in love and we planned our futures and it's become something that seems like the most natural thing in the world. I'm scared someone will tell me I can never have it - or that something worse is wrong with me. I need to psych myself up. Does anyone have any similar problems?
Has anyone had similar problems in the past and then managed to conceive? I don't want to give up hope. I WILL go to the doctor in time. They reckon you should try to conceive for 12 months before going to the doctor to check everything's "in working order", though.