panicking
04-03-11, 18:29
Hi everyone.
I've always been OCD about getting HIV tests. I thought I had gotten over it but I haven't. My last test (negative) was in 2007. Since then I slept with someone (without condom, but without ejaculation) that I had already slept with before I had my last test...he had told me that since then he hadn't slept with anyone else. He lied, and refuses to tell me how many people he has slept with but I know it was at least one other person. Initially I wasn't that worried but my new boyfriend recently hinted that he would like me to have a test and so I went and got it done today and I am just freaking out completely, like I used to. I feel horrible. Like before, I am certain that I have it. I won't get the results till the 15th, which seems an eternity away. Those same day tests aren't available here. It's not fair!
How to stay calm/sane while waiting? I feel so angry with myself and with the other person who lied. I feel like my new happiness is about to be seriously jeopardized and I can barely breathe for fear.
I've always been OCD about getting HIV tests. I thought I had gotten over it but I haven't. My last test (negative) was in 2007. Since then I slept with someone (without condom, but without ejaculation) that I had already slept with before I had my last test...he had told me that since then he hadn't slept with anyone else. He lied, and refuses to tell me how many people he has slept with but I know it was at least one other person. Initially I wasn't that worried but my new boyfriend recently hinted that he would like me to have a test and so I went and got it done today and I am just freaking out completely, like I used to. I feel horrible. Like before, I am certain that I have it. I won't get the results till the 15th, which seems an eternity away. Those same day tests aren't available here. It's not fair!
How to stay calm/sane while waiting? I feel so angry with myself and with the other person who lied. I feel like my new happiness is about to be seriously jeopardized and I can barely breathe for fear.