ZoWeeMcfly
05-03-11, 23:09
Today, I did 2 things I am very happy about :) they may be the smallest things in existance to happen, but I am proud of myself, and you people on here are really the only people who will understand that something so small means so much
I got the bus today. I always get the bus, but I am very specific and panicy on buses normally. Usually, I have to sit right at the back, or right at the front. Then, if anyone is sick, I can either escape easily or know that noone will be sick on me because they are not behind me. But I still panic all the journey. I got on the bus, and worried for about ten minutes, then I remembered some advice I read on here. I plugged my headphones in, turned the music up and lost myself in the music.
I didnt panic for the rest of the journey until about 10 minutes before I got off, because I realised that I hadnt paniced, which made me aware of the 'what ifs' again. The bus wasn't packed, but it was quite busy.. AND I wasnt sat right at the back, or right at the front. I was 2 rows from the front, which makes it a big achievement in my book, especially for a 35 minute journey!
On the way home I was panicy. There were small hyper children (who had clearly had alot of sugar) and a man who looked unwell next to me, or he could have been stressed.. But the journey there was surprising, the music helped alot and I wanted to share this small success with everyone.
My other success today, although it is a very small thing. I dont know if it is connected to my emetophobia, but I have a fear of eating or drinking things that are meant to be hot, when they are cold. things like meats or beans or hot drinks. However, today, my boyfriend bought my a burrito, which was hot, but I wasnt hungry so I left it till later, and we shared it when it was cold. Although I only had like 1/4 of it, I still ate it cold. And it didnt even make me gag like it normally did. And, I didnt realise that a mocha frappuchino was ice cold (stupid of me, I know) and as the boyfriend had just bought it for me, I would have felt bad to not drink it, so I drank it, and although it made me gag slightly, I enjoyed it.
It may seem like very small things. But I am a very proud person right now
x
I got the bus today. I always get the bus, but I am very specific and panicy on buses normally. Usually, I have to sit right at the back, or right at the front. Then, if anyone is sick, I can either escape easily or know that noone will be sick on me because they are not behind me. But I still panic all the journey. I got on the bus, and worried for about ten minutes, then I remembered some advice I read on here. I plugged my headphones in, turned the music up and lost myself in the music.
I didnt panic for the rest of the journey until about 10 minutes before I got off, because I realised that I hadnt paniced, which made me aware of the 'what ifs' again. The bus wasn't packed, but it was quite busy.. AND I wasnt sat right at the back, or right at the front. I was 2 rows from the front, which makes it a big achievement in my book, especially for a 35 minute journey!
On the way home I was panicy. There were small hyper children (who had clearly had alot of sugar) and a man who looked unwell next to me, or he could have been stressed.. But the journey there was surprising, the music helped alot and I wanted to share this small success with everyone.
My other success today, although it is a very small thing. I dont know if it is connected to my emetophobia, but I have a fear of eating or drinking things that are meant to be hot, when they are cold. things like meats or beans or hot drinks. However, today, my boyfriend bought my a burrito, which was hot, but I wasnt hungry so I left it till later, and we shared it when it was cold. Although I only had like 1/4 of it, I still ate it cold. And it didnt even make me gag like it normally did. And, I didnt realise that a mocha frappuchino was ice cold (stupid of me, I know) and as the boyfriend had just bought it for me, I would have felt bad to not drink it, so I drank it, and although it made me gag slightly, I enjoyed it.
It may seem like very small things. But I am a very proud person right now
x