Its still with me I guess

[jaded jean]

Hello all.
After what I thought was going to be a success story turned out differently.
I have a grandson who is now 2 years old - a joy to have and a clever child at that.:yesyes: I volunteered to have him overnight so my son and partner could go out .I hadnt had him stay over for a year prior to this as I felt unable to do this.
No problem at all , I thought even to the extent of taking said grandson out in pushchair normal activities you would think but I havent walked out very far for the past 18 months.I had obviously put every ounce of love and attention into this exercise as the next day when he went back to mum and dad I felt flat no energy no emotion and this resulted in me being really agitated even feeling de personalised at times which I havent felt for months .
I would like to think I am still recovering well but for something like this situation to bring all negatives out in me I pray it does not happen again in as much that I dont recognise the symptoms.:doh:

[paula lynne]

You are a success jjean because you try.
When my daughter asked me to look after my grand-daughter once a week so she could go to work part-time, I was horrified, and said no! I have anxiety doncha know, cant possibly cope etc...but I do cope. I do have her every saturday, and although its not easy, at least I do it. The sunshine moments outweigh all the flat negative stuff.
What I think happened here is you invested a lot of physical and emotional energy into having grandson, and when he went home, you felt flat etc because suddenly there was no need for you to be high alert etc. Thats perfectly normal. You did great, and this is a success in my book, no question. Dont beat yourself up, theres no need. x:)

[jaded jean]

Whew Paula Lynne !!!
I was so scared that it was going to be a continuation of my fears coming back to get me . You are right in regard to putting everything into the event!!
I loved every minute of having my grandson and boy it was like I had never been away from him. As soon as we went to collect him it was Nanna's car?? but we took him and the dog for a walk -(even that doing that was a 100% more than I usually do) How you described it just seems natural now but I didnt expect it .
I will keep that mantra ' it was a success' and just think back at what I achieved - with grand sons help of course!!

[paula lynne]

Yes, concentrate on what you achieved!:)
I often get my worst anx and panic symptoms "after the event", that is...I get out of the supermarket/doctors/back from the shop and.....BANG...the palps start..its always when Im trying to relax that its worse. Its like the Adrenaline doesnt know when to switch off..........
This is akin to all the negative feelings and emotions you suddenly felt upon grandsons departure..........
You spent quality time, had a great time, and surprised yourself.....youve done a great job. Gold star for you! I hope you get to have more special time together, gosh they grow so fast! Take care x:hugs:

[jaded jean]

Hello again Paula Lynne .
Even now as I type I am getting palps.does it last long after the event ??? I worry so. I am back at work today anyway as been off taking remaining holiday for this year.
I am trying hard to ignore the palps anyway- once I get stuck in they should wear down -fingers crossed .
Thanks again
Jean

[paula lynne]

Yes Jean, they can go on for hours afterwards....not to worry....accept it.....its just your adrenaline tailing off. Well done for going back to work, thats one thing I cant do because of my agrophobia and anxiety, I admire you. Keep smiling x

[jaded jean]

thanks Paula
I need the encouragement, its only been 24 hr since they started so here goes - fingers crossed .
Jean xx