View Full Version : In a turmoil

08-03-11, 18:19
I have just found out im pregnant for the 6th time. I have had 5 healthy live births, although the last one was 7 years ago and weighed in at 10lb 1oz.

Im in a turmoil (and so is my husband), as the odds are apparently against me for a healthy pregnancy, baby and my own health.

I have an appointment on Thursday at the clinic for a termination, but I am confused. I don't know if I could live with the guilt. Im 6 weeks pregnant on Thursday

The odds are against me and Im at high risk because:

1) Im 42 in June
2) Im weighing in at 18 stone, 7lbs a bmi of 41
3) Im on Escitrolapram 20mg a day and Amytriptolene 50mg at night.
4) I have B Strep in last 3 pregnancys and so need antibiotics in labour.

Writing this down, it seems to be a lot of issues, but on the plus side, I am not ill physically, just mentally with my thoughts of something wrong woth me.

Has anyone been in a similar situation to me??

Thanks all

Emma x

paula lynne
08-03-11, 23:20
Hi Emma, I dont know many people whove been in a similar position, a 6th pregnancy, wow! If youre physically healthy, thats a plus. You need to find out how to manage your mental health obviously. While risks are higher for older mums, lots of women are choosing to have babies in their 40s, and medical science has advanced with that.

My gut instinct here is if you are having doubts already about coping with guilt if you choose a termination, maybe a termination isnt really what you want. Ive been through one following a rape, and one following me being mentally imbalanced, and I still have terrible thoughts and guilt. That was over 10 years ago. Thats just my opinion, my story. Obviously, you have to decide what is best for you, and whatever that decision is, Im sure it will be the right one for you and your family. I wish you well. Please have a thorough, long talk with the medical staff at the clinic on Thurday to make absolutely sure you can weight up the risks for yourself, before taking such a major step. Good luck with everything, take care of yourself xxxxx

08-03-11, 23:26
hun i just wanted to let u no iam a mommy of 7 childrens and they are great kids ....iam going to say that if u are feeling u realy dont want to treminate then u shouldnt hun ,,,thats just my opinoin tho do what makes u happy but 6 babies is alot hun i know lots of work ...i hope u get threw this hun ..tc if u ever need to talk pm hun

09-03-11, 12:40
Hi Emma,

I gave birth to my first daughter 4 weeks ago, and was on this site a lot during the pregnancy. I had severe anxiety problems, but also like you some health issues (ulcerative colitis, and a pacemaker for heart rhythm problems). I was convinced I was going to die during pregnancy.

Can you go to a sympathetic GP and explain how you are feeling? I went to see mine at 7 weeks, and was honest about the fact I was considering termination because I was worried I couldn't cope with the anxiety. I was referred to a midwife who specialises in mental health and she was brilliant. Also fast-tracked for cbt to focus specifically on the pregnancy. My midwife saw me throughout the pregnancy and I was able to go to her whenever I had any anxieties and she dealt with them - liased with the consultant about my treatment, made special arrangements for the delivery and my stay in hospital etc. I had extra monitoring of my health which healped with the anxiety a lot. It was terrible (and I'm not planning to do it again), but I did get through it.

If you're not sure, perhaps having a chat with a midwife like this would help, if there is one in your area? Then, if you decide not to go ahead, you might feel better to know you had done everything you could to see if you could manage the anxiety? Personally, I think if you talk it through and see if the risks are managable or not you will know what you want to do - and if you decide you can't go ahead don't feel guilty - if your health suffers mentally or physically you have 5 other children to think about, and you have to take care of yourself.

Genie xx

macc noodle
09-03-11, 14:47
WOW - what a blessing to have had such a nice large family and GOSH what a shock finding yourself expecting again :D

I had my last child (only blessed with 2) 10 years ago at the age of 40 and I weighed in at 15 1/2 stone - my consultant was very direct with me and told me NOT to put on any weight throughout the pregnancy and made me have loads of blood tests etc to make sure all was well - WELL OF COURSE IT WAS ALL WELL - I had a beautiful boy who is now a cheeky 10 year old and a complete blessing in my life.

I watched my weight, did what the docs said and had a completely natural (if a little too fast for my liking) birth with no complications to either of us.

Don't be afraid to ask for help with this before you go ahead with the termination - it sounds as if you need further information and guidance to help you make an informed choice.

I am sure that you will get there in the end :hugs: