Help me please :( New here

[Pan9]

Hi everyone,

I have just joined this forum and could really do with some words of support. I'm a 29 yr old woman (or girl :)) Anxiety (if that is what it is) has really knocked me for six and I feel like I'm losing myself.

Before Christmas, I had a few health issues which were never really resolved, but subsided. While it dragged on, the worry led my doctor to diagnosing me with depression and anxiety. Anyway, since then my worries about my health have gone through the roof- I am now absolutely convinced that I have something like ms.

Started with pain in my leg- like the muscles are tight. I can still walk and flex the muscles but my leg feels heavy and aches. This comes and goes. Longest period lasted 5 days. Anyway, during this particular time when it lasted for 5 days it was niggling away at me. Then one day I was drying my hair and I got pins and needles in my hand for about 30 seconds- this led to a full blown panic attack (my first one). This 'plunged me into the depths'. Spent 4 days in tears on and off- was convinced that it was just a matter of time before things got worse. Went to work and had the lot- sweating hands, weird feelings in fingers, chest pain- I hadn't really eaten for days, so had no energy and was lightheaded.

Later in the week I started getting this burning feeling in the soles of my feet and slight prickling- anxiety again went through the roof! Went back to the docs and she gave me beta blockers. However, I still get the burning/prickling. It seems to subside when I go in the bath or I'm at home wrapped up. I don't have it when I wake in the morning, but it doesn't take long to start.

The same day I got the beta blockers, I was sitting watching the tv and I had this weird sensation up my arms- like someone was blowing on them. It went all the way up my neck, to my head, then chest, then back. It lasted about 15 minutes. Mam said it was a panic attack.

Then the leg pain started again- but just for one day- another day in tears :( and another day absolutely certain that I have ms.

Everyone keeps telling me that I will be fine, and that it is the anxiety that is causing the symptoms, but I don't feel anxious until I get the physical symptoms!! I just don't get it.

Not really seeing my friends anymore and am following my boyfriend around like some sort of needy idiot. I'm scared he will get fed up with me. Have continued with work, but have a stressful job where there is 'no where to hide'.

I just want to get back to being me :(.

Thanks in advance to anyone out there xx

[holly87]

hiya. were all here for the same reason and as a sufferer i can tell that all your "symptoms" are anxiety. i get most of them and more, i get pains every where and i mean everywhere my neck arms legs stomach head and even fingers. iv had a pain in my neck all day thats been niggleing at me too. i keep going to the docs and she says its all anxiety because your bodys tense it causes pains and aches. when i fist started getting anxious i couldnt hardly feel my feet or hands they were that weak. im the same ill be haveing a good day and then ill get a pain and it starts me off being anxious. wondering what it is, and then i think well when im not feeling anxious why do i still get the pains? but truth is were still tense and were still getting anxious without knowing it. were constantly expecting to get sensations i.e pains and aches! when i know that im starting to panic i take deep breaths and tell myself its ok, because deep breaths slow your heart rate down so it helps to calm you before it gets too far. and to try and stop my thoughts i listen to loud music so i cant think while im listening to it :) iv been the same with my boyfriend and family. i useually like my own space and time alone but now i almost need to be around my loved ones just to feel safe and at ease :) x

[Pan9]

Thanks for taking the time to reply. It is reassuring that you have been through the same thing (although I wouldn't wish this on anybody!). I keep thinking that I am going to be the one exception- that it isn't anxiety. I'm driving myself mad- think about it all day from the moment I wake, until going to bed. I have even started asking my boyfriend if he would leave me if I found out I had some disease!!
During small moments of clarity, I am able to ask myself if I had any of these symptoms before I was anxious, but that doesn't seem to be working anymore. Today I even spent time researching the cost of going private for an MRI!!
I really just want this to be over :(.

I'm at the docs tomorrow for a follow up-will talk to her then.

How did your anxiety start? x

[Greenman50]

Hi

Wow ....thats just how my anxiety started :blush: Health problems from October which were never resolved . It started off with arm / chest pain then a chronic sore throat which i began to worry about , then swollen glands in neck and under my arms , varous blood tests came back fine but a hospital appointment really worried me (not like me ) . This was also fine but my neck started acheing , pains down my arms and in my chest and my skin was on fire on my arms i couldn,t sleep then my stomach set off :mad:
Thats the short version , but i ended up on citralapram in January and feel better apart from globus and swallowing problems at times .

I never knew anxiety could cause all this but it looks like it was anxiety as most things have slowly gone away .
Read the symtoms section on the left it really helped me .

[Greenman50]

"Then the leg pain started again- but just for one day- another day in tears :( and another day absolutely certain that I have ms.

Everyone keeps telling me that I will be fine, and that it is the anxiety that is causing the symptoms, but I don't feel anxious until I get the physical symptoms!! I just don't get it.

Not really seeing my friends anymore and am following my boyfriend around like some sort of needy idiot. I'm scared he will get fed up with me. Have continued with work, but have a stressful job where there is 'no where to hide'".................................................. .................................



Yep ...i didn,t feel anxious untill i got the burning skin / chest pain etc ...but from what i understand its a visoius circle and if you have been on edge (anxiuos ) for a long time your nervous systym is upset and it takes a long time to get right , so you get the pains , you worry this feeds the anxiety and on and on it goes . I needed the meds for a break (so the doc said) to break the cycle and they seem to have worked fingers crossed . I used to follow the wife around and didn,t like being on my own which seems so unreal now as i useually like a break from her :D

Things will get better it just takes time .

[holly87]

yes thats exactly the same as me.. i keep thinkin well yeh im showin serious signs of anxiety but what if it isnt? i think we all have this fear that we'll be the one that hasnt got anxiety and theres actually something wrong with us. i always think well when i wasnt anxious did i used to have thease pains? and its impossible to remember when youve so much going on in your head (thinking none stop) trust me im where you are now. i got my blood results yesterday and was for a few hours very happy untill i found something else to worry about. and then it goes on and on. you need to beleive that youve got anxiety because you dont beleive at the moment do you?i can tell because the things you said are the things iv said. i didnt beleive but i do now but then at times like last night i had my doubts yet again. its a vishious circle isnt it. its easy enough for someon eto tell you to stop worrying but you really cant can you i know that. mine started 6 weeks ago, so i was very luky to have my aunt (whos a sufferer) to talk to and confide in. she knew straight away but i was in denile and was adament there was something seriously wrong with me. then my doc did blood tests to put my mind at rest after i went to see her and she also said straight away it was anxiety. i dont know what started mine in paticular but i lost my nan and my grandad within 3 weeks of eachother this year. so that was a shock. and someone told me a story about a frind of mine who had cancer and had a lump on her nck and i too had a lump and i was so scared i couldnt cope i didnt go out for two weeks i rarely ate or slept i was in a terrible state. but 2 different docs told me straight away it was nothing to worry about but i couldnt settle so they sent me for my bloods an they were fine. ive promised myself that i will not obsess over this no matter how hard it is not too. because if i cant trust the doc now that everything is fine and my tests said everything was fine then will i ever beleive any other tests? proberbly not! so i know its time for me to stop now and admit that its anxiety and deal with it without any more upset :) you will be ok we all will . its just goin to take time and strength. im here if you ever need to talk wre going through the same thing remember your not on your own xxx

[Pan9]

Thanks for the advice :). I know the body can produce weird and wonderful (or not) things- I really do hope things get better as there have been some really low moments. Sometimes I feel like I am going to feel like this forever. I too am on Citalopram but I was originally only on 10mg as intially I wasn't too bad. However, now I have been upped to 20mg- maybe that will help.
I'm still so scared that there is actually something wrong with me and it is just coicindence that I am suffering from anxiety as well :(
Wish it would just go away x

[KelHumphreys]

Really well put Holly! Xx

[Pan9]

Thanks for the reply Holly- so sorry to hear about your loss. Yeah, you are right, I do think that anxiety can't possibly be responsible for all this- it just seems so unlikely. I'm hoping that we will look back on this as a 'blip' and have a bit of perspective on it in time :) x

[holly87]

:) your welcome. think of it this way were all here saying and thinking the same things. i know i still think "what if it isnt anxiety" and i know others will have done that also . so your not on your own no matter now alone you feel, because i know this can get very lonely. you have a look at the posts on her people askin if anyone else suffers from the same symptoms as them and people reply that they do get the same aches and pains. we all have at least one thing in common on here were all anxious weather it be about health like me and you and alot of others or some people are just generally anxious. i promise you i can relate to everything you say. when im thinking too much i put loud music on because we all know we cant think straight with music on :) that helps me to stop thinkin. it will get better. im far from "cured" but it has got better when only last week i never thought it would.xx

[wherefromhere]

Oh Wow. You are all such sweet people. It is really touching when you read these posts, as everyone just wants to help eachother. I have never come across such a positive and helpful site for Health Anxiety.
Pan9 I hope you are feeling a little better now. When I read your initial post it was like reading my story. I too get all of your symptoms and I too convinced myself I had MS. Please so not google any of your symptoms, this will make you so much more anxious. I get a left achey heavy leg, tingling in my hands, feet, neck face. I have had 2 MRI brain scans that have both come back clear but I still at times do not believe that I do not have MS. Do you know what, when I started to accept that this was anxiety certains symptoms went away. Replaced by other wierd and wonderful ones but I accept also that these are anxiety. You have not got MS my darling, you have anxiety and you can control it. Do not be scared of it when it happens as it will go away.
I do little tests when I get symptoms. If my arm is tingling and my head starts swirling with thoughts of MS, Lupus etc etc, I do something to distract myself like I will go swimming with my daughter or go on a bike ride, sit and sew and make a bag, bake a cake, get lost in a magazine anything. What happens is when I am not thinking about it, it goes away, that to me confirms it is anxiety.
I truely understand your suffering but don't let this ruin your days as they are so precious. Don't get me wrong I still worry about things, at the minute I am convinced I am getting varicose veins, paranoid I have a lump in my neck, my sore throat is throat cancer! Gosh it sounds ridiculous when I read this out loud but I try not to let it ruin my days. I wish you well. Everyone here understands.
Take care sweetie. XX

[Pan9]

Thank you so much for your help peeps. It does help to hear that I am not alone. I do try to distract myself but I haven't been to successful with this so far. It's getting to the point where I don't want to go anywhere- turning down invitations with friends, coming straight home from work and not leaving the house. Feel like I am a completely different person- my best friend has told me that she wants her friend back. That made me really sad because it was like confirmation that I have changed so much.

I'm pleased that I found this forum as it is good to talk to people who understand and don't think I'm crazy or stupid xx

[Pan9]

Hey guys,

Just an update. I went back to the doctors today. We had a long chat and I told her about my fears. She thinks that basically, because I'm feeling as anxious as I am that I am mis-interpreting physical symptoms and blowing them out of proportion. I can see what she means, because I kinda already know that- not that this stops the worry (unfortunately).

Also, she is referring me to the neurologist to put my mind at rest- although now I will probably spend the next few weeks stressing about that!! Desperately want this to be over!!

xx

[Chris hill]

Hello there these thing are normal dont worry i get most of them aswell and thought i had ms and heart failure and let myself suffer in silence for years.

[Pan9]

Thanks for replying Chris- I'm trying to get that into my head...it is quite hard though! Sometimes mornings are the worst- that feeling of waking with knots in your stomach. Hopefully it will get better :)

First step is staying well away from google! xx