View Full Version : CBT have stopped talking to me *shrugs*
Well basically I had to miss a couple of appts due to a) illness and then b) uni commitments. I phoned the hospital who said not to worry and they'd ask him to phone me back. That was a fortnight ago.... Ive actually just worked out that my last appointment was the 10th of February. They're meant to be every week? I honestly don't know whether I should call them - I was told at the start that if I didn't fully commit and put therapy first before all other things then it wouldn't work - maybe this is their way of telling me that? I'm seeing my GP a week tommorow and will ask her to intervene I think but I'm baffled to be honest - after all surely it shouldn't be me chasing them?
Hi daisycake, unfortunately it is sometimes up to us to chase people up (especially over-worked therapists) I wonder why you left it so long to contact them, if you were supposed to be having weekly sessions? I've found that you just have to keep phoning until you can speak directly with your therapist... they're very over-worked, and find it hard to keep the ball rolling... I would get on the phone tomorrow to arrange another appointment if you are serious about cbt.
It was because I was struggling with it - so I missed one week - and then my GP suggested to go back, they sent a letter asking me to go on a certain day which I couldn't do, asked them to rearrange and they said they'd phone back. But I'm really unsure if it's helping, its more like pyschoanalysis than CBT and makes me v uncomfortable/nervous
Hi again, I think most therapies will make you feel uncomfortable or nervous :( Unfortunately it's a "no pain no gain" thing... I guess if we want to "get better" we must take ourselves out of our comfort zone sometimes? It comes down to changing old behaviour patterns that don't work for us any longer, and that is very painful because it means letting go of the things that used to "keep us safe"...
That's not necessarily true Kibbutz83. I have had CBT and afterwards my Dr said she was furious as the therapist had spent time blaming my parents and looking for 'reasons' rather than helping me deal with my symptoms/current problems. I think different therapists have their own methods and they don't necessarily work for everyone.
harasgenster
11-03-11, 10:54
I agree with Shoegal on that point. I've had several therapists over the years. Some were great for me, two of them definitely made me worse. It depends what suits you. I certainly didn't like feeling that my parents were blamed for things and one of my therapists even tried to read into me popping in to the centre to ask about when my next appointment was because I hadn't been able to attend one. I only lived across the road so obviously I wasn't going to phone, but he just told me this was "weird" behaviour!
Some therapists are plain unhelpful, they're not all good at their jobs.
If Daisycake feels her therapy is making her worse than she should stop. CBT isn't about looking at why or pointing the finger, from what I've heard. That's what I hated about psychotherapy - it just seemed like we were blaming one off comments from my (brilliant) parents when I was 5 rather than realising there are a huge amount of factors that feed into anxiety.
Daisycake - phone them again and keep phoning. Unfortunately it is up to you to chase. That's if you want to go back, if you don't feel it's any good for you then cancel formally. But be aware that this means you will have to find another therapist and this will take a long time, so if you think you can cope with your therapy or if there are good points to what you are receiving then I'd say stick with it. If you're really having problems talk it over with your GP and get an expert opinion.
Good luck :)
Hi harasgenster, I've just gotta say I find your use of "expert" and "opinion" regarding a gp quite amusing... gp's are very rarely experts on anything.. that's why they're called "general practitioners". Don't you think that sometimes it's up to us to take responsibility for our own actions and decisions? Just a thought :)
Shoegal, I just wanted to add that I've had some cbt, and she wasn't a very good therapist... don't they say that you have to keep trying until you find one who you get on well with? Could it not be that sometimes therapy doesn't "work", because our minds aren't open enough to it? Surely we can't always "blame" the therapist?
harasgenster
11-03-11, 16:46
Hi harasgenster, I've just gotta say I find your use of "expert" and "opinion" regarding a gp quite amusing... gp's are very rarely experts on anything.. that's why they're called "general practitioners". Don't you think that sometimes it's up to us to take responsibility for our own actions and decisions? Just a thought :)
I would say that when it came to anything medical they have more experience than us and they also know how the system works much better than us. They have seen a lot more people with the same problems as us and have seen what helped them.
They might not be experts in psychiatry (although some of them are, having previously specialised in this field) but they know a lot when it comes to referring people and understanding when people should be referred. They're not all brilliant but they do know more than us and many of them are very good at what they do. Perhaps expert is the wrong term but their knowledge is a great resource for us and I strongly believe that a doctor's opinion should be taken into account when seeking medical care.
I agree, you can't always blame the therapist, as you say. But you should be able to make a distinction over whether the therapist is making you feel bad about yourself or whether it is that you are not ready to engage in it.
Don't you think sometimes though we are in such a "bad place", that it is hard for us to differentiate between how we are feeling about ourselves and how a therapist is making us feel/ If that makes any sense :)
harasgenster
11-03-11, 16:58
Yeah, you could be right. I think the best way to go about these things is to give it a really good run. I went to my therapist for six months before deciding it wasn't for me, because I was only feeling worse. I think six months is fair enough but if it was just like three weeks and people aren't feeling the benefit then they should try and stick with it and see what happens.
Sorry, me again... I feel that too many gp's assume that everything is down to our anxiety... I have spoken to people who have been ignored or told to "take the tablets", it's all in your head... who have gone on to (eventually) be diagnosed with cancer or other life-threatening illnesses :( If you watch the news, or read the paper's, you see this all too often these days! It's largely due to central government cuts, but it is a reality all that just can't be ignored :(
Hi, I found it just a waste of time to be honest. Going in week after week for about 15 to 20 minutes at a time, all the therapist seemed to be interested in doing was saying how are you today and prescribing more Citalopram. Once they realise you don't want to take the Citalopram as its not doing you any good, they basically stop seeing you!
Yes, I was in group psychotherapy for 14 months... made me worse in some ways, better in others.. It can all be very hit and miss.. none of it is an exact science..
Hi LucyR, was just wondering what kind of therapist you were seeing? Doesn't sound like cbt...
harasgenster
11-03-11, 17:24
Yeah that doesn't sound like CBT at all! I thought only psychiatrists could prescribe meds? Psychiatrists aren't great as therapists in my experience. The one's I've been to have controlled my medication but they weren't great at the emotional side of things.
I think you're right harasgenster, psychiatrists aren't any good at the talking therapies ( I guess they're not trained for that?) The psych who I see only decides on which meds to give me, or whether the meds should be changed... which sometimes he leaves up to me to decide :(
Hi LucyR, was just wondering what kind of therapist you were seeing? Doesn't sound like cbt...
Hi, Well she was a Psychiatrist, but also, before that I saw someone for CBT, neither of them made any difference.
Agree with what you are all saying, that it is meant to be a bit difficult to start with but I've given it 6 months now which seems a good while to try it.. I was told I'd have to do 20 sessions spaced out over a couple of years which seems a very long time too.. GP even said I need more than cbt and would only have to see pyschology after it anway.
Hi again daisycake, was just wondering in what way it was making you feel worse? Cos I would say group psychotherapy definitely made me feel much worse... but the therapist said that was a good thing rather than a bad thing. It usually means that we're getting closer to the underlying issues which have caused our pain or anxiety in the first place. I think it's good to maybe prove to ourselves that we can cope with the "stuff" that makes us uncomfortable? Otherwise it may just keep rearing it's ugly head all our lives :( Better to start to conquer it when you're young, rather than waiting till you're older, and it's become deeper-rooted?
This is only my opinion from my experience :) x
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