Ternice2011
10-03-11, 19:27
This is my first post on a forum like this so this is new territory for me
Please be gentle with me if I break any of the etiquette rules. I feel this post may be a long one so apologies in advance
My experiences with panic began 13 years ago but looking back I've probably had symptoms of anxiety and depression from childhood. I feel it important to add that my childhood was extremely normal and there was certainly no particular event or circumstance that triggered these feelings. If anything I was probably overprotected
I can remember my first panic attack as if it was yesterday, in fact I can recall the exact date and time. Not that unusual since it has such a cataclysmic effect on your life. I was 20 (quite a common age for this to happen I recently found out) at the time and in quite a dark place personally and emotionally when suddenly it came. It lasted about 5 seconds and was truly awful. Little did I know that they would become more frequent and more severe as time went on.
From that point onwards i did what i probably do best. I just carried on without really addressing the issue. I went back to university and finished my degree while unbeknowst to many people I was crippled with depression and anxiety. The feeling of de-realisation was constant, and was something I had to learn to live with.
Fast forward a few years and I eventually ended in a permanent anxiety state, constantly over analysing my breathing and developing a mild agrophobia. Essentially, I became fearful of travel due to some rather nasty anxiety attacks on public transport. In addition, I fell into the cycle of relieving anxiety with alcohol only to feel twice as bad the next day. Things came to ahead and I had a huge panic attack in front of my parents one Sunday afternoon as I recovered from yet another hangover. My parents thought it might have been epilepsy due to it's severity and forced me to see my doctor.
The doctor prescribed paroxetine 20mg which I took with trepidation, but I guess when you're at the bottom you have nothing else to lose. I have to say that despite it's bad press, it worked really well for me. My anxiety symptoms lifted within 72 hours (thanks to it's relatively short half-life) and it raised the panic threshold to the point where I was functional - not by any means cured, but operating again.
The problem with paroxetine is the side-effects which after 11 years can really get you down. I sleep more, I've put on weight, I'm constantly hungry and my sex life has suffered (quite a lot). I've tried to quit a few times. I appreciate that I've been lucky enough to have never endured the withdrawal symptoms that many have reported. However, the analogy I would use is that of a diabetic who requires insulin. In the same way that taking insulin doesn't cure diabetes, taking paroxetine does not cure anxiety. It simply manages the symptoms. Therefore, every time I've stopped taking the meds the panic has returned within a few weeks.
My consumption of paroxetine is much much less now than what it was 10 years ago. I now take 10 mg every other day. This helps to dampen the unwanted side-effects and also allows a little bit of breakthrough panic. Breakthrough panic? I hear you say. Well, I guess if panic is always inhibited by medication, how will you ever develop the coping mechanisms to deal with panic? This is now my position.
My aim is to one day be drug free. It's just that I've not yet developed a way of dealing with panic via drug-free methods. In the past I've just accepted the status quo, however, this no longer seem acceptable. As the memory of how I functioned prior to paroxetine fades, my desire to return to that state has increased. I've now spent a third of my life on this drug
So my points are these,
Has anyone here succesfully developed ways of dealing with panic without drugs?
Has anyone here had similar experiences with paroxetine side-effects and how did they manage? (particularly weight gain)
Hey I appreciate that this post has been long and thanks for reading
I look forward to your replies
Bye for now
Jim
Please be gentle with me if I break any of the etiquette rules. I feel this post may be a long one so apologies in advance
My experiences with panic began 13 years ago but looking back I've probably had symptoms of anxiety and depression from childhood. I feel it important to add that my childhood was extremely normal and there was certainly no particular event or circumstance that triggered these feelings. If anything I was probably overprotected
I can remember my first panic attack as if it was yesterday, in fact I can recall the exact date and time. Not that unusual since it has such a cataclysmic effect on your life. I was 20 (quite a common age for this to happen I recently found out) at the time and in quite a dark place personally and emotionally when suddenly it came. It lasted about 5 seconds and was truly awful. Little did I know that they would become more frequent and more severe as time went on.
From that point onwards i did what i probably do best. I just carried on without really addressing the issue. I went back to university and finished my degree while unbeknowst to many people I was crippled with depression and anxiety. The feeling of de-realisation was constant, and was something I had to learn to live with.
Fast forward a few years and I eventually ended in a permanent anxiety state, constantly over analysing my breathing and developing a mild agrophobia. Essentially, I became fearful of travel due to some rather nasty anxiety attacks on public transport. In addition, I fell into the cycle of relieving anxiety with alcohol only to feel twice as bad the next day. Things came to ahead and I had a huge panic attack in front of my parents one Sunday afternoon as I recovered from yet another hangover. My parents thought it might have been epilepsy due to it's severity and forced me to see my doctor.
The doctor prescribed paroxetine 20mg which I took with trepidation, but I guess when you're at the bottom you have nothing else to lose. I have to say that despite it's bad press, it worked really well for me. My anxiety symptoms lifted within 72 hours (thanks to it's relatively short half-life) and it raised the panic threshold to the point where I was functional - not by any means cured, but operating again.
The problem with paroxetine is the side-effects which after 11 years can really get you down. I sleep more, I've put on weight, I'm constantly hungry and my sex life has suffered (quite a lot). I've tried to quit a few times. I appreciate that I've been lucky enough to have never endured the withdrawal symptoms that many have reported. However, the analogy I would use is that of a diabetic who requires insulin. In the same way that taking insulin doesn't cure diabetes, taking paroxetine does not cure anxiety. It simply manages the symptoms. Therefore, every time I've stopped taking the meds the panic has returned within a few weeks.
My consumption of paroxetine is much much less now than what it was 10 years ago. I now take 10 mg every other day. This helps to dampen the unwanted side-effects and also allows a little bit of breakthrough panic. Breakthrough panic? I hear you say. Well, I guess if panic is always inhibited by medication, how will you ever develop the coping mechanisms to deal with panic? This is now my position.
My aim is to one day be drug free. It's just that I've not yet developed a way of dealing with panic via drug-free methods. In the past I've just accepted the status quo, however, this no longer seem acceptable. As the memory of how I functioned prior to paroxetine fades, my desire to return to that state has increased. I've now spent a third of my life on this drug
So my points are these,
Has anyone here succesfully developed ways of dealing with panic without drugs?
Has anyone here had similar experiences with paroxetine side-effects and how did they manage? (particularly weight gain)
Hey I appreciate that this post has been long and thanks for reading
I look forward to your replies
Bye for now
Jim