Scared scared scared

[nutteetart]

I have been advised to see if i can be referred into residential care for panic disorder with agoraphobia as i have not responded to normal treatments. Just the thought is absolutely terrifying as sometimes i cannot even engage in conversation without extreme discomfort. Furthermore, it could be a 12 week programme and in the meantime i still have to try to earn a living and take care of my family.
I just dont know. Do i put myself through this or can i do this myself? You probably dont have the answers either but i am feeling more and more like i need to keep quiet as it is all i ever talk about.

[blueangel]

This might sound like a daft question, but if you have agoraphobia, how are you managing to work for a living? If you're able to go out of the house to go to work, would this be enough for you to build on to do this yourself?

If you have an employer, then if you have to be off sick for 12 weeks, then there should be some sort of sick pay scheme to enable you to pay the bills.

Like with many anxiety and depression/related conditions, we have to be able to find something within ourselves which gives us the will to get ourselves out of it, but this is a point that we all have to arrive at individually.

[nutteetart]

I manage to get to work because i work 100 yards from home. Even this can be difficult and staying at work can be stressful because i sometimes find it hard to talk to people, but i have to go because i am self employed and i see it as therapy. I cant drive more than half a mile and i cant walk more than my 100 yards. I do keep pushing it but i wonder if i can do it alone or not.

[blueangel]

Ah, that's helpful, I understand now. Is your employer likely to pay you sick pay for this period? If you were able to take the time off for this treatment and know that would still be paid, would this help you at all?

[nutteetart]

I am self employed. Time off would be the worst thing for me because i would just stay indoors and my world would become smaller and smaller. I just have to keep putting one foot infront of the other for now. Its so hard x

[blueangel]

I understand this completely - going to work has always been one of the main things that has kept me going. I suppose I've always been lucky with this one, as no matter how bad I've felt, I've always managed to get myself into work. it's actually a very good thing for keeping my mind off the rest of me.

How are you feeling now?

[nutteetart]

im really scared but i think i will have no choice but to try and get this treatment. Evveryday is agony so i have nothing to lose now. will see x