School holidays!!!!

[Coni]

Hi Everyone ,

This is probably in the wrong place..... if so sorry.

Dont know if anyone can relate to this but its only day 3 of the school holidays and already I want to scream!!!

I have 3 children aged 9,12 and 14 and trying to keep them all happy is driving me mad. Im meeting myself coming back acting as taxi for them and their friends, I try and think of activities that we can all do as a family but they all want to do different things and complain loudly if they dont get their own way and then I end up feeling really guilty and a crap mother.

Consistency has gone out of the window and they know it and I feel as if I'm being pulled in 10 different directions, with so many people to please (including my husband incidentally) and now I just feel totally overwhelmed and want to scream and shout and have a tantrum myself. I sometimes wonder whos the biggest child...them or me.

And the bickering with each other.....youd think they were all sworn enemies instead of blood relatives!!

Anyone else enjoying the hols as much as my family?

Anyway, sorry for the rant.....I'm off to scream into a pillow!!

Coni X

[Coni]

Sorry just read my post and realised how selfish I'm being.
Just feeling sorry for myself! ignore me.

Coni X

[india]

Hi Connie, mine are breaking up on fri aaaggghhh!! Even though mine are younger, 7 & 4, i can relate to your story! It's much easier when they are packed off to school in an orderly fashion. Not sure what to suggest as yours are older, but i always try to take some time out for me in the hols, perhaps they could go to friends houses and then you can return the favour for another frazzled mum?

Good Luck India xx

[Southern_Belle]

Coni,

You are not a crap mother, nor are you being selfish! I know it is probably still cold where you are but maybe you might try and bundle them up and do an outdoor activity to get them some exercise and wear them out. Or, go to a facility that could do the same thing inside if there is such a thing. I would suggest let each of them pick an activity for their "time" and each other child has to go along with it for the other sibling's activity and time or they don't get to pick their activity. Everybody has to cooperate as it is part of "familytime." Just like maybe once a week each child gets to pick out what you will have for dinner once a week. You know make them feel special that night. You cannot allow them to take control and make you run yourself into the ground because believe me if they think they can they will, all children even the best of them will. I know as a mother I always want to make the holidays feel like a special time but it doesn't mean it is a free for all. Poor you, you can't even take them all to one movie because of the age differences. Maybe your husband could take the younger ones to one movie and you could take the 14 year old to an older one? Or visa versa. Hope you make it through it. We just went on a 14 hour drive with our 13 year old and believe me it wasn't much fun! He still says "Are we there yet?" lol By the way, we also have a 20 yr old (7 yr difference) and when they are together they still argue, it never ends!!!!

Bel

Bel

[Coni]

Hi Guys,

Thanks for your replies. Its nice to know I'm not on my own on this one.

Bel thats a really god idea to let them all have a go at choosing activities for the family. I think because although there are only a couple of years between each of them, they are all at completely different stages, its just hard at the moment to please them all (and being a complete people pleaser that ties me in knots). The whole guilt thing gets to me too sometimes as I know I haven't been a great mum this past year.

Anyway one week over, one more to go....and hopefully the rain will stop one day.

Take care everyone

Coni X

[Southern_Belle]

Coni,

I am a people pleaser too and it can drive you crazy as we can't please everybody all the time especially 3 children all at once, think about it! I know you have been a better mother thank you think you have. We all do the best we can at the moment and that is all you can do. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Hopefully next week will be easier and the sun will shine.

Bel

[Coni]

Thank you Bel.

Coni X

[dream]

hi coni
just saw your post and was wondering how
this week has been for you ( week 2 of the school holidays)
i too have 3 children 8,10,12, and they to have been at one another
all over the holidays im doing my best to keep calm
but today it feels like head is going to go BANG do you know what i mean , its very hard to please them all ,
just wanted to let you know your not alone so now i think ill go off and join you and have a good scream into my pillow lol[:P][:P][Sigh...]
take care denisexxx

denise

[Coni]

Hi Denise

Hope you feel better after your scream...I know I did lol!

This week hasnt been too bad but then I've been at work for most of it while my husband stayed at home, so either theyre all getting along better without me or hubbys just not telling me about the fights.
Your children are similar in age to mine and its difficult to keep them all happy....I tie myself in knots trying. Then they each bring friends into the equation so youre trying to please 6 instead of three.

Never mind only 4 more days to go eh?

Take care Coni X

[mandiemae]

Hi coni,

I have two kids, 13 and 7 and much the same as yourself, having difficulties pleasing them both. i am a people pleaser too and hate that guilty feeling. im feeling stronger now and have learned to deal with the fact that i cant please them both 100% of the time. (I heard somewhere, i cant exactly remember how it went but it was along the lines of, "you cant please all the people all of the time but some people some of the time", i try to remind myself of that) a bit like a balancing act i suppose. when one is unhappy i no longer beat myself up about it and tell them pretty much that they cant have it their way all the time. It was difficult to begin with but the penny is finally begining to drop for them and they dont strop quite as bad now.

Roll on next tuesday when the schools re-open so i can get back to being a bit better organised. lol

Have a lovely easter weekend
Amanda XX

" knowing and regarding reality as it is, one should know the true facts about this earthly life and look at it without making excuses, and regulate ones daily life according to this knowledge and standpoint." - the book of Buddism

[Coni]

Thanks Amanda,

I second that....roll on Tuesday!

Hope you have a lovely easter weekend too (hope the weather improves though!)

Coni X