just wondering about family reactions

[snowgoose]

hello :)

I have been fairly stable for a while thank goodness .......still living with avoidance behaviour .......know I must address this [with help ? ] .......and am trying hard :unsure:

what is making me so unhappy is the reaction of my family :huh:

do any of you feel that once family and friends know about your anxiety and depression treat you like you are an alien?
I understand that is it is difficult to empathise with us .....and I would not wish this on any person:weep:
but I feel ridiculed and laughed at .......seen the messages by mistake by face book . and honestly it was mistake ....

Mum crying again ..snigger snigger .

hey ho eh ???

[Rhys1879SAFC]

My family have been very supportive to be honest. It was my Auntie that really got me help when I broke down one day and said that I just couldn't go on. She got me straight to the doctors, made me feel alot better. :)

My Dad also suffered with anxiety so he's good to talk to, he knows what I'm going through.

[sandy40]

Snowgoose,my husband shakes his head at me and tells me to get a grip..my mother constantly asks how im feeling/is the meds working/when do i see my shrink again...one of my sisters tells me its all in my head..facebook is my escape,no-one on it except a few know what im going through...remember this...THOSE WHO MIND DONT MATTER,THOSE WHO MATTER DONT MIND.....lift your head high lady,your amazing..let them snigger away..cos they dont matter.xxxx

[snowgoose]

thank you Rhys and Sandy :hugs:

so pleased Rhys you have support and someone who understands xx
and thank you Sandy too xx.

funny thing this forum and the internet :)...............but so lovely x

[macc noodle]

Hey Snowgoose - I was in the same position as you - hubby still doesn't get it with me and can be short tempered when I am at a low ebb but I just rationalise it as it being because he is scared and really does not know what to do with me at those times.

Keep going - you will get there in the end :)

Jan
xx

[ditzygirl]

I am very cagey about who knows I have tbh. This forum is a relief for me coz i can open up and not be judged.

Although I like facebook, be careful - IMO it is a great tool to bully and judge people.
Things are posted about people that you would never say to their facex

People are quick to judge but there are soooo many sufferers out therex

[sandy40]

If any of you were my friends on Facebook,you'd think it was a totally different person..im the old me on facebook,the one i want back,no-one on Facebook would ever guess the blooming mess im in.x

[snowgoose]

thank you Jan and Ditzy girl :hugs:

it is by mistake I found a chat by my sons on line on face book ...he had signed on my pc chatting to his brother .............I came back and found the talk that online that floored me ........know it is just banter etc ...........but it hurt me so much .
hey ho ............nothing good comes to those that eavesdrop ha ha !!
but it was my pc.....and it has made me very closed up now .
just say what the world wants you to say :weep:

and talk to your friends here ........lesson learned .and off the pitty pot now :blush:

thanks for letting me rant

[snowgoose]

how you doing Sandy ?

yes :blush:.........the face we put on for the world and face book etc .....is not us really ........but good that we do :) ......cos we have this forum to relax .
and say how we feel really with cyber friends . xx

[kibbutz83]

Hey snowgoose, my family have always discussed me behind my back... what they've NEVER done is ask me how I'm truly feeling, or tried to understand what's going on with me :( All they EVER do is judge, blame me, undermine me, or make me feel plain crazy.. My mother always used to say I needed a brain-scan, or a lobotomy :( The only reason she did this was because of her own guilt, at being a crap parent. If you "transfer" everything onto someone else, you need never accept responsibility for it. I had to stop speaking to my parents a couple of years ago, because all she ever made me feel was terrible guilt :( Some people learn to deal with their parents inadequacies, and can just do the small-talk.. I couldn't manage it, I wasn't strong enough :( Sorry if I've waffled.. just it's a subject close to my heart :)

[kibbutz83]

ps Walk a mile in my shoes... that is my favourite quote! It's sooo true...
Just to say, my 17 year old has said some really hurtful things that have knocked me for six... but maybe it's good that we see or hear it from our kids, cos at least we know that they love us, and it's how they really "see" us? After all, other people do see us differently from how we see ourselves, maybe a bit of "truth" is a positive rather than a negative?

[snowgoose]

Hello Kibbutz:)

thank you for replying ......and such a thoughtful post .
it did get me thinking that yes .........the truth is in my sons chat about me [behind my back] ........and got me wondering if I have now taken up the mantle of mad person who has to be laughed at ......it is easier to ridicule without malice [I know really ]....than face a parent who has to them .........lost the plot

your parents didnt understand at all ....neither did mine .
but we know better now I hope .

hey ho eh??:)

take care of yourself forum friend ........the past has gone and we can make a difference to those we meet that we recognise [cos we know !!] and help .
not family usually .xx

[kibbutz83]

Absolutely!! You put it into words far better than I could :) You're also right about the fact that we can recognize and support others because of our own experience :) Take care x