another newbie

[isthisasgdasitgets]

Hi all, I don't want to bore everyone but this is the first time i have spoke about my problems. I have been suffering for over 10 yrs now, thought i was getting into a good place, well good as you can get with anxiety/panic/depression... then wham was hit with major panic attack at work and just wanted to flee the place...i don't know how but i held back the tears and got through the day but yesterday and today rang in sick because i couldn't face work... 2 weeks ago my gp said i was better and I should reduce my med...i agreed because he forced me but carried on with my usual dose....now another gp says I should increase my dose....don't know what to do...

all I know is I hate this vicious cycle of anxiety, fear, irrational thoughts,panic, depression. It has really hit me this time as I had been okish! Now I'm worrying about returning to work on monday, the excuse I will have to make up...seeing my colleagues,and the fear of another attack...just seeing my work place entrance is worrying me lol oh the joys:wacko:

[diane07]

Hi isthisasgdasitgets?

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[isthisasgdasitgets]

thanks diane07

[paula lynne]

Welcome aboard, its nice to have you with us. Many members have been through the same/or similar to you. You have to do what you think is right. If you feel youd benefit from an increased dose, why not try it for a few weeks and see how you get on? Hope you have a better day tomorrow, dont ever give up. x:welcome:

[joolz07]

You are certainly not alone. I am having the exact same problem with work at the moment. I had a good year last year then Wham! It reared it's ugly head in the new year after some problems and I've been 'in a state' ever since. I'm due to go home tomorrow (I'm staying with my parents at the moment) and back to work on monday. I know I only work part time but the thought of it brings me out in a hot flush!
Maybe it would be a good idea to up your meds and see how it goes? I certainly don't think you should be coming off them.
Only you know how you feel and this is why it is so difficult for other people to understand i think.
Take care and let us know how you are ...... everybody cares on here!
Julie
xx

[isthisasgdasitgets]

Hi thanks for the lovely replies....its so nice to find people who understand...been up and down today but ok thanks...dreading tomorrow because I will be worrying about going back to work and what to do if I feel bad at work. You can make yourself panic just thinking about it....jules i totally get the hot flushes! Can I ask how you cope at work because i just want to get out of the place asap! much love to all and thanks for your kind responses x

[paula lynne]

Try making your workplace your "safe" place...sounds silly but try it. Tell yourself you will be fine at work, safe at work etc...actively look forward to getting to work, and once there say to yourself..."Ah, good, Im safe now....." Sounds silly but if you turn work into a safe place, a place where you want to be, you start to deal with your feelings better. Just a suggestion anyway x

[snowgoose]

Hello :)
my goodness I empathise so much with what you are going through .
some good answers though ...and I agree with Paula to try to make work a safe place in your mind . Because it is ironically.......people you know .......toilets handy .....a structure .
I used to vomit every day before work and arrive shaking and numb with pins and needles . I told my colleagues eventually because I could not hide it .
immediate remedies? cold water in a bottle and I mean cold love.to sip from .

go to the loo and shake yourself like a wet dog all over and stamp your feet hard . splash your face and particularly your neck . remember to breathe properly . if any one says why have you been so long in loo .....say lady problems or tummy bug .[tummy bug if a guy obviously :blush:]

and the one thing that always stuck with me when weeping before work?
my husband saying .look if it gets so bad ? no one is going to cut your hands off ........come home ........and then we will reconsider .
the knowledge of that stopped me ever leaving ....guess it made me feel less trapped . hope that comes across as I intended. we must not feel trapped .
and it gives us choice and some control back .
also make sure you eat something despite churning tummy .a yoghurt and someone else here mentioned Actimel ...excellent !!! it works. the last thing you need is low blood sugar symptoms . if you can a banana too.

as the day unfolds you will feel better ...............the morning is the worst .

hope this helps because I so understand xxxxx

[isthisasgdasitgets]

Hi paula and snow goose, thanks for your tips, very comforting. I thought i was doing ok but the major panic attack I had has really set me back and instead of being able to cope i just want to run and be somewhere I feel safe...you know how you feel you are going to freak out...

[joolz07]

I'm not coping at work at the moment! The Dr put me on the sick early Jan. As well as everything else (I suffer from very bad Tinnitus). I also had two episodes of concussion and have been diagnosed as having an emotional break by the doc ...... soooo I'm seeing the doc this afternoon but as I do care work for termianly ill and the elderly in their own homes he is not too keen on me going back too early as more that likely I will end up back at square one :(
You have had good advice on the forum as always. Remember to look after number one ... as my mum said when I was getting myself in a state about letting my clients down .. we only have one life we have to make the best of it for ourselves and we need to look after our own (mental) health.
Hope you are feeling better, feel free to mesg me any time :)
julie xx

[isthisasgdasitgets]

thx julie, well I didn't make it in to work today so failed on that :-( Like you I work in a caring job and feel like I've let down my colleagues but then I totally agree with what your mum said in the end we have to look after ourselves. i've had to make up some story about a virus that's going round lol! Hope you're feeling better sounds like you've had a rough time of it and here i'm moaning about my panic take care much love x

[joolz07]

you haven't failed ..... you are not moaning!!
have you been to the docs? i went today and have had my tablets changed and some counseling arranged. so at least something is happening! my Dr doesn't want me to go back to work yet as it's a stressful environment and he thinks it's not the situation I need to be in at the moment. I've spoke to my boss and she seemed to understand! That was a nice suprise.
Let me know how you get on :)
Julie x

[petula]

:)
Hi to everyone,I am a sufferer of panick and anxiety and depression.
I am like yourselves always hoping something good will come a long and help improve my life.I have been trying propanalol just of late and it seems to do the calming trick! helps anyway.I have been suffering for many years, always have loved animals,they come and they go with age, now have a little dog and I love the t.v and movies and good food and just small walks on the park,I have all grown up family all married and left the nest.I am a little bit alone a lot and feel lonely sometimes more than other people as I haven't a lot of friends,I don't go to many places to make friends,due to this illness.I am lately withdrawing from the shopping duties as I am tired of feeling afraid.I am going to experiment with propananlol this week and try shopping with some of this in my system.Bye for now and letters are welcome.Petula

[joolz07]

Hi Petula,

Welcome to NMP! I can only imagine how difficult it can be when suffering form anxiety/panic and have your kids leave home. It's great that you have a dog though they are wondeful company (I lost mine in nov and am missing him greatly but circumstances are not right yet to have another).
I think it's a great idea to try shopping again .... it's really good for us to go out and mix with 'the land of the living'!!
Do your children visit very often or can you visit them? Are there any support groups in your local area. I know you are in Australia but its a big place! Maybe have a look on the internet and see whats local to you?
I'm sure ths site will help you ..... let us know how you are getting on. Everyone cares on here :)
Take Care
Julie xx

[isthisasgdasitgets]

hi julie, thanks for taking the time to reply, didn't make it into work today....just the fear of it, plus i feel like i could cry at any minute, I think I am very sensitive at the moment as well as anxious! really hope I make it into work tomorrow...i lied to my boss and said the doc says I have some virus...
2 weeks ago my gp was telling me i was better and i should reduce my meds, i didn't follow his advice though! I went on Friday and another doc has increased my med by 10mg... Anyway how are you doing today? much love xx

[isthisasgdasitgets]

Hi petula,
Looks like julie has given you some good advice... I am new to this site, and can already see your not alone on here hugs:hugs:xx

[joolz07]

I think you should maybe keep seeing the Dr that upped your meds as he/she can obviously see that you are not yourself. It will prob take a week or two for you to feel the effects of your new dose. I don't know what your taking but it usualy happens like that anyway!
I saw the Dr yesterday and he has changed my tablest and referred me to a psychologist and have CBT. I haven't started on the new tablets yet as i have to cut down my othersx first ...... Can't say i'm looking forward to it!!
He told me he doesn't want me to go back to work yet as he thinks it will just be added pressure that I don't need.
Is your boss being ok with you having time off .... if you think you need more time you could maybe get a sick note from the Dr?
Let me know how you get on :hugs:
Julie xx