vomit phobia and moving out!!

[Shadow_of_me]

Hey peeps, havent posted on here in ages but the same old problems are still there!!!! Im 22 and have had this phobia all my life to the estent last year I couldnt leave the house and dropped to 6 stone in weight.

I am slightly better and have been making myself do more and more things altho being sick is still at the forefront of my mind whatever I do and however confident I am as soon as i start feeling sick I crumble into a huge mess. I met a guy last year who is great and I couldnt be happier with him however he lives an hour away from me and I dont drive. To cut a long story short he has asked me to move in with him and its jus emetephobia thats stopping me. I understands my problems and is lovely about it, but has no phobia himself and so I feel he doesnt really understant. As soon as I feel sick I always want to be at home with my mum even tho she cant and doesnt do anything for me when i feel this way. I know this is a coping technique and the fact that if i was sick her being there wouldnt make any difference to that happening I cant seem to shake the idea it would be a hundred times worse without her..... on the other hand i am 22 years old and need to move on with my life and cant let this dam phobia ruin everything for me forever!!!!

any advice guys????..... big kick up the arse needed i think!!! xxx

[danoxford]

Hi Shadow

I am not a regular user here but I do check in and read posts every now and then. This post got me into a replying mood because I am also 22 and still suffering from the exact same phobia!

I moved in with my girlfriend over 6 months ago and at the time I moved in, I don't think I even thought about whether my phobia would be better or worse due to it. I think I was sort of selfish for not thinking about that now as it does affect her (almost) as much as me every single day! In fact my reason for checking the NMP forums tonight was that she has been very quiet for the whole evening because she didn't want to tell me her little boy said he felt sick earlier. He's 4 so he says that a lot and I know I can rationalize it, so it's almost as if my phobia has affected her more today than me.

However, and this is a BIG HOWEVER, part of maintaining some control of your own life and not letting a phobia completely rule you is by doing what you want to do regardless. There will come a time when you can cure it perhaps, but in the mean time you must make decisions based on what you want to do rather than what your phobia wants you to do. Not being near "home" and moving in with your boyfriend may well give you that kick up the arse you're talking about, by having to deal with anxiety in front of him.

[scaredstiff695]

danxford gives you the best advice chick. everyone wants a kick up the bum with their anxiety but only few realise the only help is your self.
what have you got to lose by moving in with your boyfriend? by the sounds of it nothing at a lot to gain x

[Shadow_of_me]

thanks guys, i guess im just scared he is gonna get fed up with it being always there as it affects me day to day and im always kidding myself I feel sick at one point in the day!! My biggest fear is to be sick in front of him but i have no idea why!! x