Downsinthenorth
13-03-11, 07:52
I suffer from social anxiety, and really have to force myself into social situations - if I followed my natural inclination I would spend as much time alone as I could get away with.
Anyway, I got an invitation to someone's birthday party this weekend, and I was dreading it and trying to think of an excuse not to attend. Well I went, and it was an ordeal - walking in and hardly knowing anyone there, and having stilted conversations with people who looked liked they would rather be talking to someone else - the works. To make it even worse, I spend ages after the event feeling like a social outcast and a blight.
Well, I've decided to be a bit more positive about the whole thing. Firstly, I was only going to stay for an hour, and I managed an hour-and-a-half. Secondly, I might have been a bore with no social skills, but at least I didn't offend or upset anyone (as far as I know). Lastly, I don't have to force myself into a social situation for a while, as a reward for actually attending this one, and not crying off.
Two further thoughts about this: I think my body language must reveal my inner turmoil in social situations, which must be off-putting for the people I am interacting with. Not sure how to deal with this. Also, I have to accept that I am never going to be a social success, the best I can hope for is to get through social situations without having a full-scale anxiety attack.
Anyway, I got an invitation to someone's birthday party this weekend, and I was dreading it and trying to think of an excuse not to attend. Well I went, and it was an ordeal - walking in and hardly knowing anyone there, and having stilted conversations with people who looked liked they would rather be talking to someone else - the works. To make it even worse, I spend ages after the event feeling like a social outcast and a blight.
Well, I've decided to be a bit more positive about the whole thing. Firstly, I was only going to stay for an hour, and I managed an hour-and-a-half. Secondly, I might have been a bore with no social skills, but at least I didn't offend or upset anyone (as far as I know). Lastly, I don't have to force myself into a social situation for a while, as a reward for actually attending this one, and not crying off.
Two further thoughts about this: I think my body language must reveal my inner turmoil in social situations, which must be off-putting for the people I am interacting with. Not sure how to deal with this. Also, I have to accept that I am never going to be a social success, the best I can hope for is to get through social situations without having a full-scale anxiety attack.