Cant stop crying.

[sandy40]

I cant believe how bad i feel today,i can stop crying,i know im going to face going to my GP as my back hurts to much but im scared..they all think im nuts in my surgery anyway but im scared they run tests and find "you know what"...i cant go on like this..its so sore..yesterday it was right lower back now its the left.my upper back rib area aches too and my legs,i feel tingly feet/legs/thighs/...i so so scared im dying and leaving my 2 children,i love them so so much.x

[gaaron]

Hi sandy40, I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I have a prob with my back (over 20yrs) so I know how awful it feels. What I've noticed tho' is if I worry or become anxious it 'appears' to be worse. All your symptoms I get. You're not going to die from it. Try and relax (I know it's easier said than done), maybe do some breathing exercises or anything that can help calm you. Take care x

[sandy40]

Gaaron,thank you for replying,but what if theres a tumour in my back pressing on my nerves? I bought a new mattress last week but its made no difference,my knees are sore too and "crunch"when i walk upstairs..you can hear them..i look at my kids and i fall apart..fearing i will leave them.x

[snowgoose]

oh Sandy:hugs:
you poor love .........the thought of the doc tomorrow has got you panicstricken
There isnt anyone viewing who does not understand your torment .
we wind ourselves up thanks to Dr Google and the net and fuel our anxiety
I do see why you are scared because of family history Sandy ....but hey lass ..lets just calm down xxx
you have a lot of back pain that is shooting everywhere ......horrible xx
and yes I am NOT an MRI scanner sweetheart .
but what you fear is not happening given my 20 year knowledge on cancer symptoms ok ??? xxxxxxxxxx

tell those voices in your head that you will deal with them tomorrow .when you have a doctors verdict . 24 hours eh? just say to your mind chatter .....ok seeing to this ......but for tonight I am going to focus on other nice things .

you will be ok .....and I dont say this lightly Sandy
read some posts here for confidence on health thread ..

a hug
snowgoose :hugs:

[gaaron]

Hi Sandy, you're body needs time to adjust to a new bed. Snowgoose offers some great advise. Take care x:hugs:

[sandy40]

Thank you both,i have no faith whatsoever as you know Snowgoose in any GP,even consultants never believed me 2 years ago..its awful and i simply need to go tomorrow..scared he does bloods..wants a MRI done..hate hate hate it..i sit far too long in the same position on my laptop..my hubby is always ranting at me "know wonder your all sore" but he like everyone else 2 years ago never believed me either...they all thought it was in my head like they all do now..Thanks both of you.xxxx:hugs:

[snowgoose]

hello again :)
Sandy I dont think this is just your head ..............your body has been on high alert for far toooooooo long . and those nerve endings are on a major walkabout and making you feel deathly .yes ?
believe me ..I have been investigated for cancer and MS ............cardiology and 24.7 moniter

you got to believe me and anyone scared to death by anxiety........... it is a very small percentage that fall through the net folks . dont believe the papers.

SANDY XX
I would not type this if I thought for a minute you were at risk .
x

[kah]

Hey Sandy,

It's totally understandable that you feel like you do after what you went through with your little boy but that doesn't mean the same will happen to you hun. I think when you go to see your GP you should explain why you are so scared and I'm (I@m) pretty sure they'll be extra vigilant with you.

If they do send you for tests it'll be to rule out certain things, which is a good thing eh? Some people suffer with back problems for years, my step-mum has had problems since I was small (I'm 36 now) and she's neither got worse or better - just stayed the same. She's just learnt to deal with it I suppose.

I really feel for you, I'm just the same on a bad day, can't look at my girls without bursting tinto tears. You will get your old life back sweetie, it'll just take time but you'll get there, we all will.

K xx

[sandy40]

MS wouldnt bother me..i wish it were me instead of my little boy but the other is too much to bare..my GP told me in November they are doing no more tests on me,so referrede me to a shrink..:mad:i went and agreed with her as i thought hear we go again blaming what i went through with my son..she put me a Mirtazapine which has done nothing..except made me put weight on..i asked my GP in Dec could i have "you know what" he said no,as my bloods were fine last July and in Nov..i dont believe him..anyway its march now???

[kah]

I had my bloods done in Nov too and my GP has refused to do them again as he said if there was anything wrong it would have showed up then. I don't suppose they could both be wrong could they?

I think you've got yourself into a state worrying about going to the docs tomorrow, have you tried CBT? Ignore me if you know this already but my CBT Therapist told me to imagine a good friend came to me and said for example ''I've had an awful headache for 2 days'', what would you say to them? Would you tell them to rush to the hospital as they are about to die or would you say perhaps you have a migraine or a tension headache and advice them to take some painkillers. It taught me to look at things rationally (it worked for a couple of weeks but I'm going through a blip!!), as an outsider looking in.

Sorry for the rambling, just trying to think of ways to help.
K xx

[sandy40]

Yes im doing CBT,its not helping..i see her on Wednesday actually so will have a good cry with her..i always do..My GP said in feb if he did bloods again then the labs would give him a rollocking as they were fine in Nov..he did say to come back next month ie now if i wanted them repeated but he said i dont believe the results anyway..hes even showed me them on screen to try and calm me down but nope..what a blooming mess eh?? x