A Success a Day [Archive]

harasgenster

16-03-11, 16:28

I was thinking that from now on I was going to write down all of the things I did well at the end of the day in my diary. Usually, I write down all the things that didn't go well and just miss out the positive things because they seem so trivial.

So I wondered whether it might actually be useful for us all to do this on the forum? I'm here everyday now that I work from home (too tempting!) and I'm sure I'm not the only one. It's great that we all support each other with our anxieties, but the Success part of these forum always feels woefully empty when you compare it to general anxiety or health anxiety!

The truth is we all have a success every day, so maybe we should switch the focus slightly in that each day, for those that are here each day and others that want to participate, we also drop by this thread and write down everything that we have done well.

By successes I don't necessarily mean big things, like going outside if you're agoraphobic or going on a date if you're social phobic (although they belong here too!), but a lot of little things you don't really fancy doing but have done anyway, or just small things that we've done well - things we can be proud of.

So, for example:
Washing up or other kinds of housework
Making a phone call we're worried about
Doing more work than usual
Helping someone with something
Making something (writing, knitting, hobbies)

That kind of thing. And also all those big successes as well.

I just thought we might all feel a little better if we recognised all the things we're good at, and all the things we do that are useful and helpful :) Because sometimes it's easy to forget.

So I'll start:
-Today I have done more work than I did on some days last week
-I've also had a shower, which I didn't do yesterday (This is a problem I have when depressed - I don't want to do ANYTHING!)

allergyphobia

17-03-11, 15:08

Great thread!

Today, I'm going to go and have a cuppa with my friend, even though I'm tired and grumpy, cause I know when I get there it'll be lovely to see her, and instead of me having to cook the dinner it means my boyfriend will have to pull his finger out :noangel:

x

Lizzyg

17-03-11, 16:21

Great Idea!

Today I drove myself to see my psychotherapist and then I went to Sainsburys and did some shopping.
I also walked my dogs!
x

allergyphobia

17-03-11, 16:23

Sounds like a good day Lizzy, well done x

shoegal

17-03-11, 16:31

This is a great idea. :yesyes:

Unfortunately today I haven't done ANYTHING worth putting on the list though!

UPDATE: OK, since I said that I HAVE achieved something. I have agoraphobia and haven't been able to face walking my dog for 2 days due to severe panic attacks. Well tonight I walked my dog to the end of my road and back, and half an hour later a friend phoned me and I was able to walk him around the block. I'm really pleased with myself as this was something I had been working myself up into a state about all day. :smile:

blue moon

17-03-11, 21:52

Today I am starting painting of friends daughter:)

harasgenster

18-03-11, 13:15

OK, since I said that I HAVE achieved something. I have agoraphobia and haven't been able to face walking my dog for 2 days due to severe panic attacks. Well tonight I walked my dog to the end of my road and back, and half an hour later a friend phoned me and I was able to walk him around the block. I'm really pleased with myself as this was something I had been working myself up into a state about all day. :smile:

Yay! :yahoo:

This one's for last night:

I got some work done that I didn't think I'd be able to do
I went to the shop to buy things for dinner instead of going to bed and asking my bf to buy it on his way home! :blush:
Doing the washing up and making sure I didn't leave mess around for once!

My aim for today is to treat my boyfriend more fairly when he comes home. Sometimes my own insecurities mean I don't want to be near him or I get angry, but today I'm going to question my anger before snapping and try to believe him when he compliments me :)

UPDATE: Got a shower and wore a nice top. I wasn't really thinking about it, I just put it on because it's nice outside, so didn't occur to me to worry about whether I was too ugly to wear it etc. Looked in the mirror and thought I looked ok! So decided to go for a walk. Had a nice walk and feel altogether much better :) Even feel motivated enough to do some work that I've been needing to get on with for ages.

harasgenster

21-03-11, 16:14

Been really looking forward to writing this post :)

Successes over the weekend

1) Wore make-up and nice dress and liked the way I looked (a little too much if you ask me, got a bit vain! :blush:)
2) Had a blip but got over it quickly, by not allowing myself to get trapped in my thoughts and trying to concentrate on the things happening around me instead - boyfriend making me nice meal etc.
3) Weighed myself for the first time in ages. Was scared because I constantly think my weight is spiralling upwards and out of control because I haven't been following my "rules" regarding calories per day - found I had actually lost weight somehow - revealing that my thoughts and even what I see in the mirror sometimes are figments of my imagination.
4) Talked to some people I didn't know and led the conversation (Another step further away from five years ago when I wouldn't leave my bedroom for fear of people!)
5) Counted my blessings! Stopped worrying for long enough to realise I'm incredibly lucky. I have an amazing boyfriend who loves me, I've got a supportive family and great friends. I also got one step closer to my dream career last week and didn't even stop to feel happy about it. This weekend I let it sink in and actually told some people about my success! (Was embarrassed before). Realised all my hard work had paid off and I hadn't even congratulated myself.

Onwards and upwards :)

margaret jones

21-03-11, 17:54

A great big well done to everyone you are all brilliant we all know how hard it is when you are suffering with Panic/Anxiety /and other problems to give yourself a pat on the back ( we are all Great ) :Dxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

harasgenster

23-03-11, 13:16

Successes from yesterday:

I've been trying to introduce more pleasurable activities into my day. So here's some I did:

1) Writing a film review in afternoon, reverted back to old uni-self (film student) and watched the flick while playing with my make-up like a kid (trying on all my different lipsticks...haha) It was fun to just mess about for a bit.
2) Went for a walk with bf after work to look at some streets we've been considering living on - which was really nice.

Bit of a set back when we went to buy dinner and I got stressed because I have to follow "rules" with food according to how many calories I can eat per day. End up really frustrated trying to do mental arithmetic and bf getting annoyed that I rejected almost all food options. Sick of this now and a while before I can see a therapist so going to try and come up with some ways I can start to make myself more comfortable without the rules. - That's the aim for, well, the next year or so probably! No advice on internet for this! Ridiculous!

snowgoose

23-03-11, 13:43

this is a lovely thread :)
I am writing mine down in a lovely notebook given for christmas and adding things that give me a lift ...even just the damn blackbird that sings so beautifully in my tree outside bedroom every night this week from 3.30 am !!
put my water pistol way ha ha!

You are doing grand .x

harasgenster

23-03-11, 17:39

Thank you Snow Goose :)

And I had a good day! Yay!

Got all my work done by 5pm for once so I'm going to have a shower and go to the pub instead of working all night!

snowgoose

23-03-11, 18:36

shoegal

23-03-11, 19:30

It's nice to hear how everybody is getting on. :)

Today I took my puppy outside into the garden and we enjoyed the sunshine.

Lizzyg

23-03-11, 19:34

Today I went for an aromatherapy massage. Have been promising myself one of the for 3 months now.
Arrived all stressed out (as usual!) but so glad I did felt so much better afterwards!
The thought is always worse than the actual doing! :yesyes:

harasgenster

23-03-11, 21:56

soooo glad you had good productive day :hugs:

enjoy your night at pub ...........feel very content at your progress and bask with a good drink in your hand [mine is a gin ] ...........and feel relaxed. really relaxed eh? :)
cos ..........You ARE WORTH IT :D
XXX

Aw! Thank you!

And well done everyone else on your successes and all the nice things you've been doing!

I only had non-alcoholic drinks at the pub because I try not drink when I have work in the morning but I saw my brother which was lovely and I also made some plans for how I am going to continue bringing more pleasure into my life. Realised through talking with bf that the reason I quit music (after 15 years) and comedy (after 6 months) was because as soon as I put pressure on myself they stopped being fun. But I miss them. So my success is that I decided to get myself some software to compose classical music on the computer. I used to do this as a teenager and loved it but I got stressed when I realised I'm not very good at pop music and then I felt inferior. I'm also going to start writing stand up comedy again for my own amusement. I don't have to put pressure on myself to go on stage, I can just enjoy coming up with ideas and working on them.

So yes. Success in that I've had those ideas and now I'm REALLY looking forward to doing them! It's made life feel like it's going to be more fun and less work!

harasgenster

25-03-11, 09:12

Looks like everyone is doing well :) Glad to hear it.

Shoegal: I want a puppy so badly! I've been badgering my bf for a year! :D

Success from yesterday:
Had an awful day - very confused, embarrassingly so, making no sense when talking to chemist and nearly walked out of shop without paying for shopping!. BUT THEN made myself go to tap dance class anyway to see my friends, despite being concerned I'd feel confused during class when everyone's watching (has happened before, where I couldn't grasp anything the teacher was saying to me and he just had to repeat himself over and over - totally out of it! - so embarrassing!). But it didn't happen! I had a great time and came back feeling totally normal again! :D

allergyphobia

25-03-11, 13:23

Today I ate my lunch at work with my colleagues - always quite phobic of doing this incase i panic... but I was fine!

Then to top it off I ate some percy pigs with all sorts in them and some rock salt pretzels I'd never had before!

:)

allergyphobia

25-03-11, 14:50

AND big step I just ate a piece of home-made brownie some one brought in. I *NEVER* would have done this even a couple of months ago! x

(p.s. no wonder I have gout)

snowgoose

25-03-11, 15:10

ladies...............what long user names :wacko:

so proud of you both even if I dont know you outside cyber land :hugs:

fantastic uplifting news ...........Allergy ......you are so beating the demon with large stick !!

Haras .............your intuition and capacity for finding joy inspires me .

and it helps us all . have good weekend ladies ..............keep inspiring us xxx:bighug1:

harasgenster

25-03-11, 16:01

Eeeeeeeeeee!!! Just had amazing news! This isn't really a success in beating anxiety, it's just a success in another part of my life and I'm not allowed to post it on the internet :( But basically just had notification that I'm on what could be the first step to my dream career (after YEARS of hard work) :D D :D :D :D :D

Very pleased with myself now. What d'ya know, this has helped my mood!

allergyphobia

25-03-11, 16:02

ooooh congrats!! what is it ??

yay x x

harasgenster

25-03-11, 16:05

what is it ??

Not allowed to say :( It's a big secret that's not allowed on the internet because there were many other people going in for it and they haven't been told they didn't make it yet. So I can't write anything that could be Googled!!

Thank you :D I hope this happiness is enough to kick my anxiety in the butt for a couple of days!!!

allergyphobia

25-03-11, 16:06

wooooooo well congratulations it all sounds very exciting for you. :)

allergyphobia

25-03-11, 16:11

seeker02uk

25-03-11, 16:22

I have been to the hairdresser lol and she thought I was 30 :) I'm going to be 40 in a minute!

I have always hated being trapped in the hairdresser seat, even when i have been feeling ok, and felt no anxiety today (thanks sertraline!), except I realised I was tensing my tummy muscles so just sat there and relaxed eventually and joined in the chit chat! And it was only a tenner RESULT!

Lizzyg

25-03-11, 16:44

I went into work today after being signed off for 3 months to discuss my return.
Really scary but made myself do it and was fine once I got there! Hoping to go back week after next :yesyes:

harasgenster

28-03-11, 09:21

Well done everybody! :D Glad I set this up, it's so nice to see people doing so well :)

Successes over the weekend for me:
1) Went to and stayed at a dinner party I didn't want to go to and which I found a bit traumatic. (Thanks to Shoegal for helping me see this is a success!)
2) Pulled myself out of terrible depression yesterday by speaking to my Mam who is training to be a counsellor and is just really good at these things! She helped me look at my thoughts a different way and told me to phone when I felt confused.
3) With my thoughts a lot clearer I spoke to my bf, who wanted to know why I was upset. We had a good chat and because I told him what my mind tells me he thinks of me (but made sure he knew I knew I was being illogical and that I believe he means all the nice things he says), he told me exactly how he does feel (much, much better than I thought! Was genuinely surprised at some of the positive things he sees that I didn't know were there!) Promised he wouldn't have to do this all the time, but it did make me feel better. Will try not to ask him for reassurance again! (Should have tape-recorded that conversation...)

harasgenster

28-03-11, 14:14

Success for today:
1) Did some CBT
2) Realised that if I tell myself I don't have to go out with my bf forever and our relationship isn't that serious I feel better about our relationship. I do realise this is strange.

harasgenster

28-03-11, 19:02

Realised last thing I wrote wasn't that strange. And discovered a thought process that actually works and makes everything seem ok to me.

Let's just say my boyfriend does like another girl better than me, contrary to most (but not all) evidence. I'm probably not going to be successful in convincing myself he definitely likes me above everyone else, anyway. So let's just say he does. What would happen then? Well, as soon as there was definite proof, I would split up with him. And what would happen then? It would hurt but it would not be the end of the world. Whatever walk of life I take I will meet new people and since my career is going better than I thought, I may even go in a direction where I will meet a lot of people in a very specific environment that are likely to share many of my interests. So it's not like if I lost my boyfriend, all would be lost. I would meet someone else and I would fall in love again and I would definitely have other chances.

Thought I'd write this down as this was a big success for me today. It has totally neutralised most of my fears. The fact that even if all the fears came true, my life would not actually be dented that much, or not for long, just takes the sting out of them and makes them less frightening.

LauraSmith27

30-03-11, 17:00

I've made a few little steps this week :yahoo:

1) I went to my parents allotment with them. I won't usually do this as it is quite a long way from my house and has no toilet - two of my greatest fears!

2) I went into work yesterday. I've been off sick for the last 7 weeks and the thought of even being in the building terrifies me, but my dad dropped me off and I managed to stay there for an hour.

3) I went for a walk over to the supermarket with my mum today. It's only about ten minutes away from my house, but previously I have been much more nervous about it than I was today.

I'm going to try dropping into work again tomorrow. Hopefully each time I do it I will feel a bit better.

Laura x

allergyphobia

31-03-11, 11:20

Well done Laura! Amazing progress!

Eva May

22-04-11, 00:38

Actually have a few to put down :) took the train last saturday for the first time in years. Granted it was only 5 mins and I didn't sit down in the carriage but I'm happy with it. Drove quite a distance from home monday night when it was quiet and made myself go over a bridge that for some reason was freaking me out and drove a little further on once I'd crossed it. And finally, today I was able to stare an oncoming panic attack in the face and kind of shrug and say well come on let's get this over with. I didn't have access to my car for a few minutes and I could feel myself panicking but the tire had to be changed so the rational side of my brain seemed to wake up for once :D I never have anything to post in the success stories so going to sleep happy now :)

Jemlou

22-04-11, 14:25

went back to work tueday for 3 full days this week :)
coped my myself at work :)
went out with a friend wednesday evening :)
managed to be less grumpy with my bf :)

Princess Sparkle

28-04-11, 23:14

It sounds like a really small thing, but I'm so proud of myself because I managed to do some hand-washing today. I have a bit of a phobia of cleaning products and detergents and things, so for me to be able to use Daz washing powder and not get freaked out was a big step!

I was worried about doing it beforehand but, once I got started, I realised I was okay. I might even do some more hand-washing later this week! :D